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The days were seeming to get shorter and shorter lately. Alot of the adolescents were about to embark on their quests to find and return with the best banu they could find. It wasnt really something she looked forward to, rather than getting some of the more annoying youth out from the pride. Maybe they'd grow up in mentality on the journey..If not, some were bound to get themselves into trouble. Not her Mirsa though..

She scoffed and shook her head. Mirsa wasnt hers.. She needed to stop. She was being ridiculous. But deep inside she couldnt help it. She seemed to be the last sister to not have a Pad, and she seemed like one of the only females of the pride not to have someone asking about them. It made her feel undesireable and ugly.. But she knew she wasnt. She just liked to talk, and sometimes she pushed boundaries. Some of the other banu had been whispering about her and Mirsa, and she had caught it only the other day.. It had bothered her that there were rumors, and now.. Now she felt horrible.

She had to find Mirsa, if only to seek him out to say goodbye. She wasnt sure what would happen once he returned, but she wanted him to know that she was a friend, and she wanted to always be his friend. She loved him after all, but the silly boy was so unobservant around females he never saw that gleam in her eyes. She wasnt sure where he'd be, but she started out at his favorite sleeping field first.

Mirsajadi was in a mood. His brush with that purple banu had left him grouchy and out of sorts. He'd managed to convince himself that she truly knew nothing of his weakness, and that she wasn't secretly snooping around him on behalf of her pad, Ilyas to find out anything incriminating. He was an arrogant lion, but not a stupid one. He knew that he was not, at present, anyone for Ilyas to be concerned about. He was still a pesar, without a banu and with no real position of his own in the pride. Yet. He would someday be a force to be reckoned with, but Mirsajadi doubted Ilyas was that kind of scheming plotter.

So his black mood was lightening, but not quickly. He was feeling off-balanced and out of sorts still. He could really use some sort of relaxing something, but Mirsajadi had never in his life managed to relax completely. It was something he was used to dealing with, but lately the added pressure of his imminent departure was proving to be a bit more than he could easily deal with. He couldn't wait to leave.

She smiled when he when he looked genuinely happy to see her. She supposed it was okay to approach, but still she did so rather slowly as to not overwhelm him. Shed been getting better at his likes and dislikes, and she was always trying to make sure she made him comfortable.. Except when she touched him, she knew that was just her own delight that he wasnt that comfortable with. But things were going just fine in the den.. Unless you counted her constant fear at being forced to settle down because she just simply was waiting for a certain someone to ask her. He never did, and so she wondered if maybe it would never happen. But she needed to do something about it first. If she said something and was turned down.. then she could at least move on.

She smiled, shaking her head.

"No, nothings really wrong, Mirsa. I really just.. wanted to tell you goodbye before you leave." She said, and the last sentence made her want to cry. She sniffled, hoping to keep
the tears from rolling. But deciding that she really just.. Should get it out with, she took a deep breath.

"Mirsa.. I .. I.. I love you. I dont want you to go.. Im going to miss you so badly, and, and.." It was really a mixture of emotions on her face until she tried even harder not to cry.
She looked at the earth, unwilling to look up at him yet..But once she did, her eyes were glossy, her expression scared and a bit nervous.

Mirsajadi watched as Zoey's composure seemed to crumple, even as she smiled. The fact that she was shaking her head as she smiled and said that nothing was wrong indicated that she was denying her words even as she spoke them. The sniffling was another good indicator that all was not well in Zoey's world. A child could have figured that much out.

And it was a little flattering - more than a little, really - that she was brought close to tears by the idea that he was leaving. Though it wasn't as if she hadn't known this was coming. It had been there from the beginning. He was a lion of the Ukuucha'Wafalme, which meant that when he reached adolescence he would be setting off into the rogue lands to find banu to bring back.

Her next words, however, took Mirsajadi by surprise. Unpleasant surprise. It was a very good thing that Zoey was looking at the ground as she spoke, because his face at first was a mask of horror. How could she do this to him? Their friendship had been one of the least stressful aspects of his life, and he had enjoyed it. He hadn't been aware that there was anything like romance developing between them. He'd done nothing to encourage it.

A searing pain shot through his skull from back to front and he gasped involuntarily before blackness surrounded him and his legs gave out beneath his body, signalling the onset of another hallucination. His teeth clamped automatically shut so that he couldn't cry out, but that was the last piece of control he had over his twitching, seizing body.

She had been quietly sobbing, looking at him with pain in her eyes. But once he moved, and it wasnt a seizing move, she held her breath. She stared for a moment, before smiling through her tears. He wasnt dead! He wasnt dead! But.. now he had to tell her he didnt love her, and that he had no real desire for her. She gulped, preparing herself for a rejection. She was okay with rejection, so long as she hadnt been the reason for his death.

"Mirsa, what happened? Its something.. Im sorry, I didnt mean to cause that.. I didnt mean to be a bad banu, and to shame anyone. Ive likely shamed you more than anyone. And myself." She said, looking back at her light blue toed paws.

Her heart was still pounding wildly in her chest. She needed to put herself aside, but Mirsa wasnt one to be comforted, as much as her body willed her to him.

"Don't be stupid," Mirsajadi said sharply, his voice still roughened by pain.

He felt like his skull had been crushed beneath a whole herd of stampeding wildebeest, and his stomach was threatening rebellion. It was nothing new for him, but that didn't mean that he enjoyed the experience or that he bore it easily. It took most of his concentration not to be violently ill all over his best friend. His best friend who had just professed her love for him. The thought sent another wave of pain through his skull.

"If you love me," he said, thinking first of preserving his secret, "be my banu."

It would mean he'd have to ask her father for permission to take her into his harem, but there was no reason for her father to refuse him, really. He was one of the more stable males in his family, and nowhere near as like his father as he wanted to be. Though that would work in his favor here. He needed Vizier Faiz to approve his request, because he needed to have Zoey in his harem. As his banu, she would have to obey him, which meant he could bind her to a secrecy beyond what a friend would do.

This was all too much for her, and his desire to keep this seizure a secret unnerved her. She wasnt sure why he'd want to keep it from anyone.. Though she wondered if he feared that he would be seen as weak if anyone should know. She wanted to tell him that was just stupid to think that way but her mouth remained closed.

Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she listened, this time not from love, but from unease. She listened to him speak and she wanted to smile when he mentioned being the best pad of the pride for her. She knew it was true, she had known it all along. But she wasnt quite sure about the tone. She knew it wasnt out of love that he spoke. His words were far too to the point. He had a hard sort of tone about him right now. It was to show the importance of the secret, but it made her feel nervous.

She didnt back away when he stared her in the eyes. She stood her ground, though her ears flicked back and she was forced to look away from the eyes that almost bore into her just then.

"I promise." She whispered, nodding and clearing her throat."I- I promise, I wont tell anyone." She said, flicking her eyes up at him.

He realized what he had done a little too late. He had never behaved like that toward Zoey before, and he knew he shouldn't have done it. She was his friend, and he should have trusted her to keep his secret without manipulating her. Now, he realized, he would never know why she kept his secret, and that made him uneasy. It made him very uneasy.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said, stepping back abruptly. His head swam with the motion. "It's just...this has been a problem my entire life. I have fits and I see things that aren't there. They're incredibly painful, and apparently unsettling to watch. I don't want anyone to know about them though. My family..."

She knew about his family. She would know what he meant by that, he assumed. He had told her of the competition between Tariq's offspring to be the best and to win his hard-earned approval. Surely she could see that there was no way for him to ever make his father proud if it became known that he had this defect.

"I really would like to have you as part of my harem. Beybanu, if you want the position." It was partly the truth and partly a bribe, but he hoped she would take it.