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 Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:36 pm
 Life was full of surprises, things you could never in a million years foresee and things you could never expect, no matter how prepared you were.
The rocky brown lion's life was full of surprises and change. First being separated from the pride, then falling in love with Kibi, followed by rejoining the pride and now...this.
Kibi's dreams were finally coming true, and the duties she'd trained for long ago would be hers at long last. And he, by virtue of being her mate, was right in the thick of things. This was the problem with being male in the Mwezi'Johari. It was the lioness' status that determined her mate's. Not that he thought it should be the other way around or that he didn't love Kibetinyota, far from it! He just couldn't help feeling like a leaf carried by a swiftly moving stream at times.
So here he was, waiting in the den they shared, having finished with his duties as a Guard for the day. The Great Lion knew that he didn't have to work, because of Kibi's high rank, but it made him feel better about his life, to do honest and simple work like this.
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:10 pm
 Much had changed in Kibetinyota's life in just the span of a few brief days. But that was life: extreme changes in a short period, followed by a long journey until the next change, much like the years she and her group spent looking for the new Mwezi'Johari lands. The pride's landscape of lions had also changed, with some gone, some new lives, and old rivals uniting to merge into their group.
The death of Dusana brought great relief, but also guilt for the pale lioness. It had been a while since Alcmene's own death, but the lingering feelings were still touching the now-priestess. She knew, however, that the Great Lion had been watching her the whole time. She had been truly graced, after becoming taught by Khathelela the Queen herself, to fulfill the role that she was promised since birth.
The only thing that didn't change was Kibetinyota's love for Uchanjaa. A smile came onto her soft face just thinking about him. Despite her absences and distance to him when she was out executing her role, he would always be present in the den when she returned, welcoming her into his thick, warm, brown fur.
This day wouldn't be different. Her slight weary paws came into their den's entrance, and she scented the familiar essence that constituted her mate coming from inside their home.
"Uchanjaa," she called, a little tired; this was when she let down her caution in maintaining the dedicated visage and spirit she always had during her duties.
"I thank the Great Lion again for letting you come back home to me. I hope your guard duties have been kind to you."
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:23 pm
His musings had moved onto the sadness of Alcmene's death and the sorrow he still felt for the young queen when he heard the only voice guaranteed to make him forget anything else. Kibi was back. Uchanjaa's face lit up with a welcoming smile as his mate padded into the den.
"Duty is rarely kind," he pointed out wryly. "But you can also thank our neighboring prides for being sensible and peaceful at this time." He didn't always know how to respond verbally to Kibi's formal speech modes, but it was one of those little quirks that he loved about her.
"How was your day, love?" he asked. As children, she'd loved to tell him about her training and how she'd be a great priestess. Now, hearing her tales of her new duties brought back those fond memories.
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:47 pm
"Oh, Uchanjaa," she mumbled at his humored reply, "I suppose we've already paid our dues for a while to keep bad luck from coming through the Mwezi'Johari again."
Kibetinyota paused, Uchanjaa's question going over her head as she hesitated in her reflection. It was normal of him to ask her about her day, and she would always return with an exact detail of how her day went: as the pride's Nurse, she was the one who knew the rogues who came to join their pride first. Along with Miakoda, the Shaman, she initiated rogues and watched over them until they awoke. This was an important task for Kibetinyota, keeping her from Uchanjaa for long periods of time. Most often, she inspected the new rogues during their slumber - which was a duty not asked of her, but one she put on herself. Since the days of Dusana, Kibetinyota found herself distressingly questioning of rogues, but prayed to the Great Lion to let go of her suspicions. It was something always at the back of her mind, but nothing she wanted to speak in case it made itself tangible enough to affect her duties.
But after all these days, it still was a constant nuisance... She was afraid to lose her composure in front of Uchanjaa, still, and especially with the promotion. She thought that perhaps with the discovery of their new home, with the marriage to Uchanjaa, and now with the duty entrusted to her, she should have felt fully stable.
It all bared down on her, and she chanced a hint of it to Uchanjaa, taking the final steps next to him and laying her head against his large fuzzy side.
"Uchanjaa..." she said softly, a sad tone lacing his name for what she was about to say, "I am shamed for having such burdens on my mind..."
She nuzzled further into him, looking down at the ground and purposely away from his eyes out of embarrassment.
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:55 pm
Paid dues? Perhaps. Their lives hadn't been easy, true, but really, had anyone's? Life itself was no easy thing and Uchanjaa was not one to say "I have suffered more than you." Perhaps wisely, he didn't respond to her mumbled words.
If words sometimes escaped him, body language never did and he could see that there was something on Kibi's mind as she lay down beside him. He nuzzled her and flattened a bit of mussed-up fur with his tongue as he listened to her. It saddened him to hear the sorrow in her voice, and he hoped it was not because reality was different from her childhood dreams.
"I doubt it is as shameful as you say," he told her instead. He knew she felt very strongly, and that she would take anything that didn't go exactly as planned as her own personal shame. "Are they burdens you can tell me about?"
If they were not secret, perhaps he could lighten her load by lending a sympathetic ear.
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:19 pm
Kibetinyota loved Uchanjaa for the patient and listening ear he unconditionally provided. She remembered when he used to let her lay on him for hours when she silently sulked during their time in the rogue lands. These were the moments when she knew that her love for Uchanjaa was more than just a childhood infatuation.
Still, his words could not dissolve her feelings.
"No, I should be ashamed. Uchanjaa..." she started, unknowing of even where she would start, "I have much guilt. Guilt for my role, Alcmene, my parents..."
Her head buried itself harder into Uchanjaa's body, a wave of dishonor breezing through her body.
"I don't deserve to be a priestess if I sometimes question... I question the rogues that we see. When I was a cub, I was apprenticed to Mitsuki, the Midwife. I am the Nurse, and the role is quite different than what I dreamed about when I was a cub. Different than what my parents told me I would do. I am thankful for the honor, grateful for the Great Lion's gift of promise I was asked to fulfill by my parents. But... I don't know, Uchanjaa, I cannot find it in my heart to trust as I did before. It was hard for me to trust Dusana, and she..."
Kibetinyota stopped, the reality of Dusana's acts saddening her, cutting her ability to speak briefly.
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:28 pm
It hurt him, to hear her words of shame and guilt. And he knew it hurt her even worse because at the heart of each problem was a seed of truth. She had desired to be a priestess...but had had no wish to see anyone, much less Alcmene, dead to fulfill that role. She had never truly trusted Dusana, and now she saw that shade of doubt in every rogue that came to the pride. He groomed her some more, listening and thinking.
"Should the cub feel guilty for wishing that their sibling would just go away...and then the sibling dies? You did not kill Alcmene. She had us all fooled," he told Kibi, trying to show her in terms she might be able to allow.
As for her priestly duties, that was a realm he knew much less about. He knew that Midwife and Nurse were different, but they were subtlties he hadn't needed to know until now. "Perhaps...perhaps it is not a bad thing to question the rogues. So long as we do not allow that to color our view when they prove themselves trustworthy." He nuzzled her again. "Leave it to the Guards to be suspicious, love. It's our job, not yours."
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:51 pm
"But if I had voiced my concerns for Dusana, what would have happened then?" she retorted in some stubborn belief.
"What if I was the only one who could have done it? And I didn't."
She exhaled a deep sigh through Uchanjaa's fur, watching her breath made all the strands flicker back and forth slowly. The group had been travelling with a killer all the time - the killer of her parents, and yet, how could nothing have been done about it? It was a problem close to heart. The death of Anhur and Maha was something Kibetinyota would never forgive anyone for, and what was worse - their killers were able to cause more harm.
Kibetinyota felt deeply connected to the incidents in a way that guilted her, and no matter how much she went through the thoughts, she wound up feeling the same.
"And your duty as a guard, too... Uchanjaa, you know you could just be a Lord, safe from harm's way. The Great Lion knows what I'd do if something happened to you, too."
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:02 pm
Uchanjaa understood full well how Kibi felt. It was how they all felt, all that had come with Dusana to rejoin the pride. If any of them had said what they all suspected...could this catastrophe have been averted?
"My mother," the brown lion paused and swallowed. Even after all this time he still found it hard to remember the lioness who'd given birth to him and his sister. "My mother once said, if wishes were fishes we'd all breathe water," he tried to make it a joke and smiled, but was afraid it would fall flat.
He cleared his throat and continued on a more serious note. "What if the Great Lion meant for all of this to happen? Your parents, even Queen Alcmene? Just because we can't see His purpose doesn't mean there isn't one." Uchanjaa wasn't particularly religious, but even he sometimes felt as if the paw of the Great Lion was upon them.
It was only with talk of his vocation that the lion felt himself to be on solid ground. "Kibi, we've talked about this before. I can't - won't!- just sit on my haunches all day," he told her, a bit of sternness creeping into his tone. "I was born into the middle class and I feel I should contribute something to the pride's well being." He didn't say how he would be embarrassed to allow the pride to simply take car of him simply because she was highly ranked. He loved her dearly, but he was still uncomfortable with the rank he'd achieved as her mate. At least when he was on duty among the other Guards they treated him as one of their own. It was some semblance of normalcy and regularity in his life, which he desperately craved.
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:20 pm
Though Kibetinyota never was one for jokes, she always responded kindly with a smile, now lifting her head so that Uchanjaa could see her. She knew all he was trying to do was to make her happy, and she was very much appreciative of that.
"I know, Uchanjaa, I know very well," she said sorrowfully; Kibetinyota wished so deeply that her parents were still here, which is why she felt shameful if the Great Lion had intended for things to work out for some greater good.
Kibetinyota would just have to be patient to find out what it was. And a patient lioness she was.
She nodded to Uchanjaa's rather quick and firm remark on his status. She needn't argue; it was a half-serious suggestion, as she knew most of her mate's thoughts on remaining a guard. In a way, it was like her own stubbornness in fulfilling her duty to the pride as a priestess. She wouldn't have had it any other way, and wouldn't have taken on the role of a Lady herself if given the chance.
"But I do worry for you, Uchanjaa," she added, "every time you're out. It'd be nice if you were assigned as the guard to the rogue initiations... Sometimes they take so long, and I feel like the longer it takes, the more of a chance you won't be there when I come back."
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:47 pm
For all the comfort he tried to give Kibi, there were times when she simply wouldn't accept it, and now seemed to be one of those times. It wasn't that she loved him any less, he knew, it was that she had a tendency to dwell on what might have been.
Then she remarked that some guards were assigned to the rogue initiations and he began to feel uncomfortable. How much to tell her? That he had specifically asked to not be assigned there? He loved Kibi, more than anything else in the world, and because of that he could never properly do his duty if she was near.
"I know you worry for me, but I am sure that the Great Lion will only call me when it is time...and I think He wants me to be here for you for some time to come," Uchanjaa told her. The brown lion considered something and spoke again. "Know that I think of you all the time when you're gone, and know that each day without you is one day closer to your return."
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 12:38 am
She sighed, though Uchanjaa's last words moved her greatly. Kibetinyota had taught herself constantly: duty first, feelings later, and so it wasn't hard to simply nod at Uchanjaa's statement and lower her head to the ground, resting on her arms.
"I suppose, Uchanjaa. Thank you, my love," she said warmly, licking his paws that were next to her face, "I will just embrace this moment I have with you, and savor whatever times the Great Lion allows me have with you in the future times to come. But if you ever do change your mind and want to be a Lord..."
She mused playfully before she began to close her eyes, moving her tail to twist around Uchanjaa's. She always enjoyed how Uchanjaa's warmth also acted as a good comfort and aid in sleeping.
"I am very glad to have you," she said peacefully.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 8:11 am
Uchanjaa smiled. It had been a topic of great debate and would continue to be so, but that was all right with him. He wouldn't tell her - yet - that he was considering choosing to be a Lord once they had cubs to take care of. It wasn't that he didn't trust the slaves to care for the children, only that the lives he and Kibi had led made them more cautious than most.
"I thank the Great Lion every day for you," he whispered in her ear as she settled down for the night. The brown lion fitted his body around hers and relaxed into sleep as well.
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