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5 years of Chaos
About five years have passed. Uzumaki Naruto is now the
Sixth Hokage. With the acception of Orochimaru, the Legendary Sannin are dead. Sasuke has left the clutches of Orochimaru and joined the Akatsuki after killing his brother, Itachi. He and Kakashi both posess the Mangekyou Sharingan. All the main characters we know and love from Naruto series are jounin rank now. Except for a special few.

The Akatsuki are still after the Tailed Demons. Sasuke has taken it upon himself to personally go after Naruto, his former friend and team mate. Kakashi is back in the ANBU. But just as sasuke goes to Kill Naruto he realises his love for the blond and Leaves hiding away

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ninja

Sure

|OOC: Can Wing be Uzumaki Naruto?|

I like the premise of your RP, but, no offense, your OC just screams Mary-Sue at me. Normally, that would be your business, but since this is on a public forum and you're inviting others to join, I just felt the need to comment on that. I'll give you a few pointers that could help fix your OC problem. Feel free to take them or not, it's really up to you.

The very first thing I have to comment on actually has nothing to do with your character being a MS, it's just what I think must be a mistake. You said your character is 5'8 and weighs 100 pounds. This is quite nearly impossible. I myself am 5'6. I weigh 115 pounds, and am constantly accused of being too thin. Honesty, I'm a stick; my family actually thought I was anorexic for a while. Still, it could be possible for your character to have the height and weight you're claiming (though she would probably look a bit sickly), if she weren't a ninja. Being a ninja would, I would think, require a good amount of muscle mass. Muscle weighs more than fat. So, even if she were thin (which I'm assuming you want her to be), she'd need to have some weight on her, even if it didn't SHOW on her body.

Next... you said that your character was descended from the fourth hokage, Yondaime, through her parents. If it's through her parents, then I'm assuming that one of them is Yondaime's child, correct? If this is so, and your character is 18, and I believe that you said that Naruto and the other characters are around that age, as well, this would be impossible. Your OC's parents would have to be at least near to Naruto's age, meaning that YOUR character would only be a baby, or at the very least a small child.

Also, you've said that your character is Sasuke's sibling. This, to me, screams Mary-Sue, and I'm sure it will to most other hardcore fans. A common way of working in a Mary-Sue or self insertion is to bring up some long lost (or not so long lost) sister/brother/cousin/other obscure family member. This is usually a big no-no. Itachi killed all of the Uchiha clan. That's just a fact. If he left any others alive, it would basically ruin the premise of the entire Uchiha massacre, and what it did to Sasuke. Having another survivor would change Sasuke incredibly. I'm too sick today to really go over all of the reasons for this, but PM me later if you have any questions, and I'll be happy to discuss it with you. Let's just say that making up your own character and keeping him/her out of the families of the main characters is all a part of keeping your character truly original. Though, putting her in someone else's family would be less objectionable if it were in a family that HADN'T been completely killed off.

Next, you've put Kakashi as your character's "significant other." This is also a big no-no. The best way to use an OC is to hardly use them at all. Keep them a minor character, unless you want to pair them with ANOTHER OC, which is perfectly acceptable. But it's usually far too difficult to pair your OC with a character from the series, and keep it believable. A lot of hardcore fans will hate you for trying, too ^^; The fact that you said she reads Icha Icha paradise is also a bit iffy. She already sort of looks like a female Kakashi, from your description. You don't want to give her too many of his habits. Keep her as original as possible. Make up your own little quirks for her to have. After all, it's more fun that way, anyway ^^

Anyway, that's about all I can say off the top of my head. Once again, this is just a critique meant to help you improve your OC, and the use of her in your story. Feel free to PM me about any of this, or to respond to it here. I hope some of this helps, and have fun RPing!

Can I be Gaara? heart

Izumi sat her hair drenched with water itachi made his second move "Run Kid you have no chance" Kisume was simply laughing at her."I never run not even if it means death" Itachi was gone but behind her "Right like traning" She wrapped a new cloth around her eyes. " Ryu Uma O-hitsuji Usagi O-hitsuji Herb Inu Saru Ousu-buta Tori Nezumi O-ushi O-hitsuji Uma!" Itachi went to stab. "TORI!" She dissappere and made Kisume there "Not ordnary Jitsu Itachi....I took all of Kisumes chakra with me" Kisume was on the floor bleeding, I was walking off

Itachi cursed to him self, Picked up Kisume over his sholder and was gone. "Not again" She fell to the floor her eyes bleeding "Always a side effect for stronger chakra" She was down and out cold before she knew it. "Over here tsunade!" Shizume was shouting. Izumi was half dead and half awake. "...." Tsunade picked me up and carryed me to kohona where I was orignaly a missing nin, no one but the hokage knew that. "Shizume go ahead of me and get a bed Prepaired she's lost alot of blood"

Later on that day I shot straght up looking into the eyes of about 5 People. There was Tsunade, Kakashi, Shizume, Naruto, and Sasuke. Sasuke only came because he heard I fought Itachi and Lived and wanted to know what I did. Naruto came because kakashi came and kakashi came because Tsunade needed help. "Where am I" I said standing up "Dont get up yet your not strong enough" Shizume said "im fine" I said slipping my shoes on "I thank you for your Aid and Hospitality but I fear I must go" Sasuke got in my face "You fought Itachi and Lived right?" "Uh Yeah why?" "He is my older brother and I plan to kill him" "You wont see him for a while hun" She smiled and Pushed him back with her finger "he tried to stab me and stabbed Kisume instead" Sasuke smerked "Next time you wont be luckey" I grabbed his neck and pushed him to a wall "Next time you wont under estimate a woman" I dropped him Tsunade smerked at sasuke "I tried to warn you"

Izumi smiled, Tsunade turned to her "You say you used to live here and left but never became a genin?" Izumi nodded "Yes, 'Tis true" Shizume coughed "Where'd you get that headband" She touched the one around her waist "My parents before they died" Tsunade made and 'Oh Im sorry' look. "Its ok" Shiki smiled "How did you defet Itachi" Sasuke managed to Blur out "Blood line Jitsu" Tsunade smiled "Whats your bloodline "I dont know, but... Im Izumi " She looked at kakashi "You your hatake kakashi aka copy-nin you read Icha Icha paradise and are very lazy and late" She turned to naruto "You your loud annoying and stupid you have something I cannot say aloud and can be strong" She turned to tsunade "You your the sannin who is a medic-nin also worked with Jiayra, the hermit pevert who wrights Icha Icha paradise, and Orochimaru who is just creepy with that long tounge" She turned to sasuke "uchiha sasuke, number 1 rookie running many rivals many fangirls who you hate and now you have one more rival...Me" Everyone stood there. She grinned walked up to kakashi poked his head band stole his book. his forehead started to bleed "Teme...." He muttred "Be nice to me or I Burn the book!"

He shut up "Hehe I havent gotten to read this book yet" Kakashi looked at her funny "What do you mean? 'You havent read this book yet' You should not be reading it" Jiayra appered "Omg shes back? Finally I saved the books for you like you asked" Everyone gave him a 'WTF' look "Oh Everyone I'd Like you to meet Izumi my cousin" There was an akward pause "Cough" Naruto coughed "Anyhoo As I was saying Kakashi your no match for me^^ Im way stronger than you maybe even you Jiayra" Jiayra Nodded "I dont doubt, Wait you never became a genin how is that possable" She smiled "I have my ways." Shk handed Kakashi Icha Icha Paradise. "Keep it safe" She smiled fixed her shirt and Jumpped out the window with Jiayra "So much to catch up on" They went laughing and chatting all night