Welcome to Gaia! ::

Name: Jude Harrow

Nickname: SpringTooth [on the internet only!]

Age: 16

Birthday: 20 September

Sign: Virgo

Gemstone: Sapphire

Blood Type: AB

Fav. Food: Coffee.

Hated Food: Kraft Mac'n'cheese

School: Meadowview

Hobbies:

Dear Diary - Writing - Most young men don't keep a diary. Jude does -- almost religiously. He writes something in it almost every day. This is rarely a recap of his day, tending toward poetry and fiction instead, and is also rarely particularly good, but someone told him once that you have to write to be a writer, so he does his best. But doesn't have the guts to join the school paper, just yet. Jude calls it his Journal -- but no, really he doesn't call it anything because he wouldn't admit to anyone that it exists because then they might want to read it, heaven forfend. So it's his private book and likely hidden on a shelf somewhere.

Color me orangered - Social News - Jude loves the internet and spends a somewhat ridiculous amount of time on Reddit in particular. Reddit is a social news site that has been broken down into areas of interest, where people can post interesting links and reply to them. It is a very male-centric site, with a pretty big male/female ratio, and it tends toward mouthiness, humor, good writing, and efforts to build karma by posting things that other people like. Jude probably hangs out primarily on /r/writing, which is basically a place he can share his writing and get replies without anyone knowing who he is. Essentially it is a secondary persona that no one IRL would know is him.

He enjoys the knowledge it gives him about politics and the goings-on around town, the creative outlet it gives for him to share his writing without sharing his identity, and in general the freedom offered by anonymity. He's much louder and more forceful online as "SpringTooth" than he is in real life as "Jude Harrow".

Mad men - Fashion - Not fashion week fashion, not haute couture, not runway -- but the trends in everyday fashion do fascinate him. Jude loves a collared shirt and a tie and a vest, fedoras and well-fitted slacks, shiny loafers, fancy sneakers, tie tacks, cuff links. He's not afraid of feminine colors like pink and pale yellow, bold patterns, stripes and paisley. Out of school, he will indulge as much in this as he can without getting too horribly mocked. It is work for Jude to stay well-dressed. He doesn't have a lot of money, so he probably alters a lot of his clothing, and is all about finding sales rack items that he can take home and fuss with.

Cup of joe - Coffee - Not all coffee is good, and Jude is well aware. He generally won't waste his time with crap coffee, preferring instead to make his own and carry it with him in a battered old hand-me-down travel mug. However, he spends a lot of time out of school at a local coffee shop, doing both homework and personal work there and only going home when he absolutely has to.

Virtues:

Mature beyond his years - Jude's first job was at the age of fifteen, with parental encouragement, and since then he has held quite a few after-school positions. He manages his own finances, cashes his own checks and knows how to handle bills around the house, since his mother always seems to forget to pay them. He has experience with cash registers and espresso machines, with hand-sewing and sewing machines, all kinds of basic life skills that many teenagers haven't needed or bothered to learn. Together, all of this makes him seem much more like he's in his mid-twenties or older still than sixteen: he is an adult in a young man's body, and while he suffers the problems associated with hormones and lack of confidence, bullies and teasing, Jude is mature in many ways that other boys his age are not.

Everything has its place - Every page of Jude's notes is precise and tidy, his handwriting spindly and neat, his books arranged carefully in his locker. He keeps an incredibly detailed day planner with every due date and every class color coded and kept current. His half of his room at home is unnaturally clean for a teenaged boy, and his clothing is always impeccable. It's important for him to impose order where he can, to make up for all the small places where he can't. It means he very rarely loses track of an upcoming due date, and can be relied upon to send out reminders as required -- and it also means that when things fall out of place, he has a tendency to crumble to pieces with them. The major aspects of Jude's life seem so frequently out of control that he keeps an iron grip on everything he can.

A sympathetic ear - Generally quiet in nature, Jude serves as an excellent sounding board and brainstorming partner. He will listen to anyone's problems without commenting, perfectly willing to take some time when friends need a little rant. More than that, he'll do it without judgment, without offering suggestions, without trying to fix. He quietly sympathizes and offers exactly what someone with a problem needs. He is reassuring in the moment, and a locked safe when it's passed.

Million and one ideas - It's a personal virtue, but the simple fact of the matter is that Jude's writing is rather good. He is not an epic storyteller, but instead finds inspiration from the world around him and infuses truth into the things he creates. He is interested in the world around him, and likes to explore, to learn more, saving bits and pieces for the future. This is a large part of why he spends so much free time in a coffee shop, people watching, and reading, and it also leads to a simple understanding of people and the way things interconnect.

Flaws:

Internal Dissonance - The worst of Jude's flaws might be the fact that the way he presents himself to other people is largely a facade. Most students at school believe him to come from a fairly wealthy family, due to his manners and attitude and his choice of clothing. In reality, he comes from a household that scrabbles to make ends meet, and the face he turns forward is cultivated. He doesn't take people home with him. It's a part of his life he keeps separate, a part he wishes desperately that he could change, but since he can't he merely keeps his mouth shut about it. He'll likely lie to friends, in a fairly thoughtless, quiet way, or at the very least agree with their assumptions and carry them on. However, he is unlikely to talk about himself when he could talk about something else, so it wouldn't come down to spreading rumors: absent misdirection as opposed to active untruths.

The road more travelled - Given the choice between taking a chance that could result in something amazing or sticking to the routine and missing out on incredible possibilities, Jude will almost always take the easy, boring route. He lusts after adventure, but has been told so many times that it's not meant for him that it has settled in and broken down any ambitions beyond the practical.

A simmering pot - Jude doesn't show a lot of emotion face-to-face, coming across at first meeting as overly serious, quiet, and more than a bit prudish. Worse, though, he internalizes to such a degree that sometimes he loses track of what he does feel, shrugging things off and smothering his own emotions. Instead of spilling small grievances or letting off steam, he bottles until he explodes in an entirely irrational way. Usually, this means that he rants on Reddit, trolls forums, or spreads his frustration in other ways that only make it worse until he regains control: miserable and hating himself a little.

Just a small fish - Jude's view of himself is [not entirely inaccurately] that of a small fish in a big pond. While he would like to be the protagonist of the story, instead he finds himself continually pushed to the back of the line -- and as a result, he has a tendency to miss out on the glory and the action. The worst of this, however, is that he lacks the self-confidence to step forward, and justifies his own passivity by diving into his writing. He is a writer. Writers don't necessarily need to step up into things, themselves. They can store the experiences and create their own heros.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Jude is small, just a few inches over five feet, and slim: a fine, bird-like frame that leaves him looking somewhat fragile, with long fingered hands.

Eyes: Deep, dark grey-brown, narrow under heavy brows - and with just as heavy eyelashes.

Hair: Red-blond with a slight curl, cropped relatively short and gelled into place.

Face: Sharp, with a strong jaw. The line of his mouth is narrow and serious, most of the time.

Clothes: He goes to Meadowview. Alas. Orange shorts would not be his choice, given the option, but he really can't afford private school. He might, though, wear a tie instead of the sailor's sash around his neck, and avoids the sneakers as best he can.

Ahhh, I really like this quest so far, so it’s kinda hard to find things to comment on, but I’ll write them down as I’m reading through it again.

Hobbies! I like that he has a diary that isn’t actually a diary, and that the hobby is more about writing than journal keeping. Does he call it a diary when asked? Or is it just listed as diary keeping for the profile? For the time he spends on internet, do you mean that he writes and posts without giving his real name? You explain that he likes the anonymity, so that would overcome the anxiety established in the last hobby, but I’m not familiar with Reddit (I’m sure I’m not the only one… right?), so I don’t exactly know what it entails as far as interaction and writing goes. On the fashion front, a little more explanation of how this is a hobby more than an interest (like how, exactly, he indulges himself in it) might be good!

On to the virtues. What is the difference between the Diligent and Persistent traits? Both seem to read similarly, outlining that once he’s working on something he won’t give it up until it’s done. I like the other two, though it might be interesting to see how these two fairly general traits (organized and trustworthy) apply to him specifically, or if there’s any way to expand on it a bit more.

Flaws now. Do people notice this deference in Jude? I know flaws can be personal or for others to see, but this one seems like it could be both. Does it affect how he’s treated by people, or just how he treats himself in their company/specific situations? Like, can people pick up on it? In the Timid trait you mention other people telling him he’s not cut out for adventuring, so that feels like it might tie in? I really like the Suppressed trait. (Oh hey, another mention of Reddit! Now I know he posts. He trolls? Does he only do that when he’s venting frustration, or does he do it at other times?) For the fake persona, is it just that people perceive him as rich and he doesn’t correct them, or does he actually perpetuate the idea? Does he lie about it? Is he used to it now, or does he still feel conflicted about letting people think it?

As far as the senshi part of it goes, I really like the idea of the attack. Particularly in the Eternal stage. I’m not toooo good with senshi powers, though, haha.

Ahhh okay! Added the above in various places, combined Diligent & persistent, and added a new virtue to replace the old. Hopefully that helps some.

Ahhh, excellent crit means it took me a while to edit this, but...now I did!

I started by taking out all the secondary modifiers, because it seemed like they were causing a bit of conflict with the actual body of the writing, and now they shouldn't do that anymore.

I bumped the self-sufficient skill up to the top of virtues, because it probably is Jude's most important, and because I think it ties in pretty well into his organization/meticulous nature. He knows how to take care of himself, and exercises control over his life, and these are his greatest strengths. They also limit him in some ways, but hey, that's the way life works.

I rewrote the other two virtues a bit, to hopefully make them more Jude-specific and less generic, and I added creativity, which is a small skill but I think important for his character, because otherwise he come across very stiff/boring.

In flaws, I started by bumping up his false persona and renaming it to internal dissonance, since that was a rather adept stab to the center of what I was trying to say here. He wants people to view him one way, so that is the face he puts forward, but he still is the other person at heart and there's little he can do to change that. It breaks down someone who would otherwise be pretty supremely self-confident.

I did keep deferential, because I disagree slightly. I think writers believe they have important voices, but this doesn't translate into their real life behavior, necessarily. Believing that you have an excellent story and working to get it published doesn't mean that you're the leader of your group of friends, nor that you're likely to get a lot of attention when people meet you. I tried to rewrite the flaw a bit to reflect this better, though, and to make it tie in with the rest of his flaws.

I don't want to tred on rebirth or echoes or restoration or what have you, so I think Futility's a pretty great sphere, and am stealing that idea right from you. >> I also clarified the time/limits on his abilities, so that should be all cleared up!

phew.