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Name: Helen Sophronia

Nickname: Eli, Hel, Sophie (Only close friends)

Age: 21

Birthday: April 1st

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Ruby

Blood Type: A+

Fav. Food: She has a bit of a sweet tooth, so anything with sugar is A- ok to her. She doesnt believe in artificial sweeteners.

Hated Food: Seafood

School: DCU - science Major

Hobbies:

Show me the shiny....: Helen HAS TO be up to date with the recent tech. Cellphones, Apple ware, Computers, game systems, etc. While she might not be able to own them herself(cant afford things!), she is always poking into stores or looking online for the information on all the recent new things that come out. If she ever got her hands on them to play with... her eyes would more than likely shine open and like a kid in a candy store, she would probably blab about it and poke around it. Helen does not know the actual mechanics of how said things work, so she would not be able to take apart things without being all 'oops' and not knowing how to fix them.

Just desserts! : Helen bakes when she is upset. When her emotions get the better of her, she will just travel in to the kitchen and bake a batch of cookies or a cake to make herself feel better. It is a hobby as well as a stress relief for her, she feels pleasure in knowing she could make something so tasty and sweet with her own two hands. Baking is such a fine art that it takes her mind off things and allows her a chance to focus on something else besides her issues. She has a collection of cook books she ruffles through sometimes, and every once in a while she will be seen bringing sweets and sorts to her friends when she cant eat them all herself. She will sometimes cook for others if asked enough, because she KNOWS she is good at what she does and will show off.

walkin on sunshine, wooaaahhh: Every morning helen will get her jogging gear on, her old retro ipod, and run around in the streets of destiny city. It preps her for the days activities, and is a good wake-up for the day. Plus.. it also makes sure she stays fit with all those sweets she adores to eat. Mostly she jogs in the mornings, but she is sometimes known to enter random marathons! A few times a year you might see her running for charity (probably something to help under privileged children, shes been there... done that, understands and helps when she can) ... or some sort of race! She just enjoys the feeling she gets from running, it pumps her up and makes her feel like she accomplished something. Even if she is just all sweaty!

Lets go!... Helen is a really outgoing kind of woman. Rather than sit home and play games all day, she would much rather be out on the town. Clubbing, Jogging, Shopping, Hanging out... anything. She likes to unwind at night infront of the tv with a bag of popcorn like anyone would, but she tries to keep herself busy.

Virtues:

Assertive is my middle name... Helen is bold, straight forward, and down your throat at times. She doesn't take s**t from anyone, and will make it known if she does not like you or something you did. She will be the first one to tell you what she thinks, and she wont exactly hold back her opinions. She also is not afraid of fighting if she needs to.

Helen is straight forward and wont beat around the bush. If you asked her if a dress made you look fat... and she thought so? She would tell you yes and why.

Yup, that was me!: Helen will be the first to take the blame for her actions, she would not be afraid to fess up. If she said or did something to you, she would not place the blame on others. I mean... why lie? If you did something man up and defend yourself or take the fall. Theres more respect for being truthful than not. Playing into her assertive virtue, Helen will have your back and would not sell you out. If she thinks you have a stupid idea, and she tells you she thinks it is a stupid idea, and yet she still agree's to help you in the end? If it fails, she would pretty much say 'told you so' but also man up that it was also her fault for helping!

I will do my best!...- She is the kind of person whom likes to see things through to the end. Sort of like reading a book... she wants to read the whole thing, see everything and not just jump from start to finish. Helen wants to make sure she does her job, not half assing things. She does this without even realizing it, only being told afterwords 'wow your such a hard worker' or 'your so thorough!' sometimes. As a result, she sometimes expexts the best out of everyone else as well.

Flaws:

That is MINE...- Helen is possessive over what she deems as HERS. That is HER hairbrush, HER smoothie; She has a issue with sharing things that she is possessive over. Sometimes they can be worldly possessions... othertimes? They cab be people. While she understands she needs to share... it doesnt mean she likes to. She will let you know if she is feeling you are all up on what is hers. If she has someone, person wise, she considers 'hers'? She will be possessive over them, and probably get cranky/grouchy/jealous/moody if she feels that is being threatened.

That status is not something granted on everyone, it is something she restricts...but watch out...once she considers you hers she will not remove that title unless you REALLY ******** up. Then she would probably go into a fit of rage on you.

Helen is possessive of her things because for the first 8 years of her life... she really had hardly anything. She lived on the streets with her mother, and learned to survive the harsh truths of the world. As a result? Anything she deems as hers, even to this day, she will fight over.

Pretty princess...- She ALWAYS wants to look good. -always-. She will go out of her way to brush her hair that one extra time to make sure the strands lay down flat. She will run that extra mile to burn off those sweet calories. She knows she looks good, and will seriously grumble at anyone who suggests otherwise. She is the kind of girl whom will take a while getting ready... showering, chosing her clothing..etc. Helen is all about natural beauty, she thinks people as a whole are beautiful.... but she still wears minimal makeup just to add to the natural look. She likes eyeliner and lipgloss most, sometimes choosing to add a little eyeshadow as well.

Her adoptive parents doted on her a bit, and as a result she became a bit vain with her looks.

I WILL win...- She is a scrappy person and -hates- losing to others. If someone issues a challenge to her, saying they are the best at something or other... she will beg to differ and not back down from said challenge. She -needs- to win. She hates being on the bottom of things, choosing to climb her way to the very top. She knew what it was like to be in the bottom of society... those first 8 years of her life were a long time ago, but she refuses to forget. She refuses to go back to that.


Random Notes:

I honestly was not sure where to put this at, but i wanted to include it. As i see helen right now i am seeing her as sort of a stern-mother like type. She loves people, and is protective of them, but she also expects the best out of people and will give them her best in return.

She is overly protective of people because deep down she is afraid of losing them. Afraid if she is not the best she can be, then she will go back to what her life was before adopted. In turn, she views if she gives her all then others need to do the same and she will push and shove until you do.

She will be a Knight whom walks the line in a sense. She will side a LOT with her fellow knights... trusting them more than senshi or negas.

Family:

Father: Never met the a**, know of him and who he is.

Mother: Ex hooker and drug addict... Helen was taken away from her when she was 8 years old and put into a foster care system. When she hit 18, she looked for her mother and found her in rehab somewhere outside destiny city. Helen has not seen her in 13 years, but only talks with her sometimes on the phone. Helen realized when talking with ehr again that she is the same person she was all those years ago, so chooses to interact with her at the bare minimum.

Adoptive parents: She sees these two as her real parents, her saviors. They took her in originally as a foster, and when she was to be taken away they asked the system if they could just flat out adopt helen. They could not have a baby so they looked to adopt a older child to raise, and Helen was their first and only child they took. They fell in love with the little girl and wanted to have her be their child. They doted on her quite a bit, so she had a pretty decent child hood after adoption. They live in a small apartment in destiny city where Helen grew up, she tries to visit them as often as she can.

Elzo and Marlo: Once getting in touch with her real mother again, Helen learned of at least two half siblings she has on her fathers side. She has never met them, but apparently they live somewhere in destiny city as well. Maybe one day she will go pay them a visit, she is pretty sure they have no idea she exists.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Almond, a deep blue color. Wears light makeup around eyes. Because she is related to Castor and Pollux, Vamps gave me permission to use his eye color. link to castor

Hair: Like this style, but in some sort of a blondish color. Honey gold, a dirty blond.. whatever the colorist feels fit to do.

http://www.lil-inkblot.ithiltari.com/helenknightrefmaybe.jpg

I found this ref and i REALLY love the hair color and eye color on the girl, so if so inspired feel free to use! (This is also a ref for her Knight stage if she makes it there <3 )

Face: Oval face

taking one more <3

In her hobbies, I think you should consider changing “exercise” to something more specific. You mention running specifically. Is it a particular kind of running: long-distance, sprints, cross country, marathon? Does she train for a yearly marathon? Is she dedicated to the single-minded purpose of running to the best of her ability? You can use a hobby to really make her personality shine, but right now, I think that last one more or less falls flat. Tweak it!

For strengths/flaws, I definitely think you need to punch up the strengths and make her more unique. I have seen ‘protective’ and ‘trustworthy’ on countless profiles. Are these strengths? Absolutely! Would it be more interesting to see ‘dedicated to the cause’ or ‘mouth like a steel-trap’ instead? Probably. Instead of writing a generic description to a generic trait, try to think of how Helen is DIFFERENT from other trustworthy people. For example, personally, I am very trustworthy when it comes to my friends, but I am hardly cognizant of keeping the secrets of people with whom I am not close. So I am a gossipy-trustworthy person: trustworthy to my friends, gossipy about strangers – which is why I adore reading PerezHilton.com and other pop culture magazines. This is different from the person who believes that every secret they hear is something to be closely guarded, regardless of who it comes from – and yet, we might both be trustworthy people.

I like your spin on the ‘possessive’ flaw because of the angle on her believing that certain friends are just HERS. I would actually rewrite that flaw to bring that more center stage. Is she easily threatened by her best friends having OTHER best friends? Will she try to drive a wedge between them just to get the friend all to herself? Does she get pouty or manipulative about it? I think this is a good place to tear open her psychology. In general, I really enjoy her flaws.

On the adopted kid thing:



This is contradictory in a big way. She has no desire to see her mother… and yet she goes out of her way to search for her mother and find her in rehab? Does not compute.



If her foster parents truly did raise her as one of their own and treated her well, Helen would see them as her real parents, wouldn’t she? Also, if she was ADOPTED by them, then they would not be her foster parents. They wouldn’t just be a “nice couple she keeps in touch with” to her. They’d be her parents. If she was just kept in a foster home or never formally adopted by them, then they would stay her foster parents, but would probably still have great significance to her since you seem to suggest that they treated her with love.

Honestly, I think you need to tweak this whole adoption part because the psychology does not make sense to me. Make sure that you have a solid reason for adding this bit of her history. What does making her adopted change about her in a significant way? You don’t want to just say she is adopted for the sake of her being adopted. Make sure there is a reason this character would not be the same person if she wasn’t.

I would also suggest that you do a formal write-up on her weapon and its powers. That is a huge part of the quest. I don’t feel like I can properly critique it without that information!

Also, on the whole Helen/Page Troy notion, I tend to encourage people not to be so nail-on-the-head about things. She is from the war planet! Her object is Troy! Her name is Helen! And she is vain! One big mistake I made early on with Parker was constantly questing him for things like Senshi of Paranoia or Senshi of Misfortune because he was, personally, someone who was paranoid and unfortunate. I only ever won an upgrade for him when I stopped being so cliché about it. I think it can be a little too cheesy – think of it as a cosplay. She would not actually be SPACE Helen of Troy. So what is the point of making her a pseudo-cosplay to the fictional woman herself? This is really just a personal opinion of mine though.

I hope this helps. I focused a lot on the areas that I feel need improvement, but I think this is definitely a good start. Good luck!

A lot of these changes look really great! However, I think there is problem with the revised "This is MINE!" flaw.

Right now, the way it is worded makes her sound almost abusive:



Based on this sentence, it sounds like she would beat up a friend of hers just for being AROUND any other human being. This makes her... super crazy. There is a difference between being possessive of friends and telling them that they BELONG to her and her alone. Like here:



I think you should just make it clearer that she can be territorial about her friendships and her belongings, but not in the sense that she is going to punch someone in the face for having another friend -- just that she gets cranky and jealous when she feels like one of her close friends may like someone else better than her, or have another friend that is equal to her. I'd take out the physical violence and tone it down. Otherwise she just seems a bit unhinged.

Virtues: Assertive, Honest, Dedicated

Flaws: Possessive, Vain, Competitive

For the KNIGHT portion, don't forget to add in your challenge! I think the attacks look good. Make sure you put that it only lasts 30 seconds at a time in your Knight-level description. For Knight attack -- does it affect BOTH Negas and Senshi alike? I think it would be a good idea to make that true. It's a nice drawback to an attack with a large range. The image of walking through snow was a great way of explaining how heavy the weights would be for the Squire stage. I recommended adding a similar analogy to communicate what the heavier weight in the Knight attack would feel like.

Aside from those two things, it is shaping up quite nicely!