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Even working out doesn't make me feel good anymore. It used to be so energizing. Now it's drudgery and I am starting to fall asleep at work again even after a workout.

Eating right. Healthy portions. I'm ******** always hungry.

What the ******** is wrong with me. why the ******** can't I just be normal. Everyone around me eats like ******** hogs and lol normal body weight.

For the past week I've just been telling myself. "I think I'm done with my life." Not like...suicidal, but just bored, tired, unhappy and unmotivated.

Everything is mediocre and mundane and boring.

I have to deal with 50 more years of this s**t? Wtf.

My body sickens me. It is so ******** disgusting. And not jsut the size. My face sickens me. It's saggy, discolored and ugly.

Make up used to make me look fresher and more awake. Now it just makes me look older and more tired. It stick in and accentuates wrinkles and bags.

Hair is just....I dislike doing hair so I do nothing with it. I can't even ******** stand to blow dry hair. I ******** hate doing hair and anything related to it other than washing and brushing. I always have. Even when I was very little and my motehr would try and get me excited about makign my hair pretty i would do nothing but b***h and complain about how tedious it was, how long it took. She figured I'd change my mind as a teen, but NOPE. She was like "You need to learn to do your hair" and I was like WTF. NO I DON'T. ******** THAT.

I like my hair but I wish I didn't have so many split ends. Its long and soft but there are so many damaged ends.

Short hair makes me looks like a walrus in a wig and it requres styling. No no no no no I will never cut my hair. ******** no and no.

Sure my hair looks cute when it's styled but it takes time and effort that I have no intention of spending or interest in learning and then you have to sit around and OMG worry about the ******** s**t all god damned day, recheck it constantly, OH ******** A PUFF OF WIND. MY HAIR OH NO and laskjdaklsjdaskljdaklsjd no.

I feel queasy right now.

Thanks. I was super feeling like crap this morning.

A lot of the hair damage goes up to three inches up the hair. I've found hair splits as far up my hair as my shoulder

I honestly think doing weights isn't doing a single thing for my energy level. I like the ache in my muscles afterwards but I'm so TIRED all the time.

I did all cardio today and I'm not having any problems with sleepiness.

Either you need to start focusing on the positives in your life (boyfriend...house...job...cats) or you need to make a huge change.
To me it seems like you are sick of the 'norms' in life like getting up, getting ready going to work...etc. Why not take a trip somewhere for awhile or go live the cabin life for awhile? You should make peace with yourself.

As for exercise, did you ever think of joining some kind of 'fun' program like maybe kick boxing or a dance class? I hate exercising because it's boring so I've thought about joining something like this.

Energy level, I'm not sure how you can help that. Maybe it's less to do with your body and maybe more to do with your mental state? As you are bored & unmotivated with life naturally your body wouldn't be bursting with energy.

Try to do at least a little weight training even with the cardio. I read this month in a workout magazine (we have them at work, and I read them to try to keep motivated) that weight training keeps your metabolism burning for 39 hours whereas cardio is like, 12 hours. Also those who do cardio plus weight rather than cardio only lose more fat- a study of people who did cardio only and of people who did both, found that both groups lost the same number of pounds- but cardio only group lost fat AND muscle weight, while weights/cardio group lost all fat, the cardio was building those muscles instead. Also the same article said that a pound of fat takes up 18% more space than a pound of muscle.

In the morning, I've been eating a small bowl of grapefruit. I get the huge container of pre-cut ones for like 8 dollars. Grapefruit is supposed to help with insulin resistance, which helps you feel full longer, and gets your metabolism going. That and starting back on vitamins is helping me. I have super low metabolism and am always tired too.

As for the hair, I'd take the chop if it would only make it shoulder length, then try to use something that helps with split ends. My hair was so bad it would tangle all up, so I got a few inches trimmed off and got a comb. Now I brush my hair before I get in the shower, and comb it when I get out. I let it air dry because, like you, I'm not good at girly stuff like that.