Welcome to Gaia! ::

In the main thread you mentioned you didn't feel like you have enough, so I'm holding off on critiquing what you have until you get some more down.

So, you need to write more... Have you tried reading this guide? It might help you analyze her personality and provide some ideas on why she acts the way she does, thus allowing you to understand and write more about her.

Why not take the individual traits and expand on them? For instance, if she's moody, why not write about what kind of lasting effect that has on her life? Does she recognize her own moodiness, does it bother her? Has it ruined friendships in the past, etc? How do her individual traits lead into and connect with each other?

You can also try setting some goals for her. Does she have a thing she wants to do? Become rich? Find meaning in life?

Okay, a little crit: she's a Book Child based off the story of yuki onna, so considering that she's lived her entire life in the City she couldn't have been stealing away children to live with her in the mountains. However, you don't have to exclude that completely. For instance, she may not ACTUALLY be a Yuki Onna, but since she's based on one anyone who had read those stories and legends might hold them against her. A potential prejudice against her is also something to consider when writing her personality and how she interacts with people. It may even have contributed to her prejudice against the City People - we tend to act unkindly towards people who are unkind to us, after all.

I'm fascinated by your development of Yukiko so far, and very curious to know more! There are a couple of things that I keep turning about in my mind:

1. I'm really interested in the punishing aspect of her 'unforgiving' trait - since she's a Book Child without any magical powers, how do you intend for her to punish the victims of her wrath? I'd love to know if punishment would be in the form of little deeds within the average human's sphere of behaviour, like, say, reputation-tarnishing rumour-mongering, or maybe a few well-placed physical blows - or if she would go all out into the psychotic vein of maiming and mutilating (!!!).

2. I don't mean to be, well, mean to poor Yuki, but the traits listed here currently all seem to be relatively negative ones, and I'd love to know more about her redeeming aspects! Since she seems to enjoy spending time with other Book Children, I assume there must be facets of her that would allow them to happily indulge in her company as well? I'd like to hear more, perhaps, of the times when she is calm like serene snowfall - that sounds rather appealing coupled with her haunting beauty. (Or perhaps she attracts others with her beauty and doesn't actually have that many redeeming traits?! O: That would be amazing! XD)

Reading what Egg has said about your entry, I see that you were hoping to write more? All the best, then, and I can't wait to see you continue with Yuki's quest - she's quite a character!