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So maybe her own 72 hours awake was a lie. There had been the occasional cat-nap here and there, when the mind would permit, but never more than fifteen minutes at a time. Needless to say in this time of unrest the house had been cleaned top to bottom, and projects that had been half done then layed away were completed, even if they no longer served a purpose. The cleaning and the loud noise of the sewing machine had almost been therapeutic. It was always after these events that she found she might actually get a fair bit of sleep.

It seemed there was still a fair amount of things her mind needed her to work through before she could be content again. Wasn't sleep and dreams supposed to help that though? Forsaken by dreams, and held captive by thought, she was powerless and at the mercy of both.
How did other senshi do it? How did they so blindly accept the 'duty' they had been told was theirs? He had done so, and now she felt silly for it. Duped. Like a blind sheep. Now she was disillusioned, and felt a little bitter. Bitter at who, though? She wasn't sure. The Princess? Luna? Whoever thought it was a good idea to use them as pawns in war? It was as sad and frustrating as it was maddening.

The Negaverse believed they were fighting to protect the Earth from alien invaders. Kurma had given them the ability to travel to their namesake, their 'home worlds' which...were obviously no where in this planet. And although their bodies were born on Earth, their souls came from another world entirely. So they were alien invaders, in a way. She could easily see this from the Negaverse's perspective, which was scary. But she had also factored in the possibility that the Negaverse agents were possibly also being lied to. Wouldn't that be a hoot? Both armies being lied to by two different rulers with very different agenda then saving the Earth.

Bell had never been a conspiracy theorist, and had never been so paranoid until now. She cast a heavy sigh over the railing of the balcony that held the stairs that lead to the attic. It seemed like spring was coming early. Late February had never seemed so....well, 48 degrees Fahrenheit was better than -16. She sat on one of the rickety-looking wooden steps, and leaned her head back against another.
From this angle, she thought she could see something, just vaguely, on the roof.

And so the sound of her feet on the balcony as she automatically ran over and reached for the falling item was not something that could go missed. It took her barely a minute to register just who the white coat - she'd gotten so used to black.. - belonged to.

Normally she might have tried a 'I just caught your hand in the cookie jar' sort of tone, or something equally light-hearted. Instead she held the jacket, and looked up at the roof.
"Hey~" She called out, not too loudly in a tone that conveyed all the weariness within.

At least one of them had the courage to power up again. She had touched neither pen nor phone since Elysion. In one sense, she was proud of him for it, in another sense, she wasn't sure what to think. She had said if nothing else she'd still join him on patrols, but she still wasn't entirely sure she could whole-heartedly do her duty.

She folded the jacket up somewhat and set it on one of the steps before turning back to him.
"The roof probably isn't the most ideal place to strip. You might give the old lady across the street a heart-attack."
It was a lame attempt at humor, but that was how Bell was. She'd make light if she could, if for no one else's sake but his. Or to dissipate some of this awkwardness He tone still failed though when it came to humorous delivery.

She didn't need to fight, no. It wasn't a requirement, but like hell was she going to let him put himself in danger for her. She wanted to protect him as much as he wanted to protect her, it was obvious, but she wasn't the kind of girl to just sit back and let her knight defend her.

"You think you're in too deep? What about me? I killed someone, remember? And what for?" At this point, they were standing face to face, close. "I can't let you go out there and fight my battles. It's not right. I don't want to see you get hurt any more than you want me to. I might not be sure where I stand in this war anymore, but it will always be right beside you. So whether you lead me to heaven or hell, I'll want to be fighting by your side."

It was a somewhat sudden revelation, but one that shouldn't have surprised her. If he was determined to fight, then she'd fight too. For whatever cause he found worth while. Forget good and bad. She'd be selfish, and use this power she'd been given for him.

"Precisely." It all made easy since to Bell, who had been mulling over this since the battle.

"It might be cold and heartless, but I don't think I would regret killing anyone if it was for selfish reasons. When I killed that guy, it was purely in the heat of war. i didn't have to, and I regret it. I regret being such an easy pawn in this game. But I could kill without a moment's regret for you, or anyone else I care about."

And if she was going to be lead into battle, let it be in the name of love and caring than for some 'greater' cause. She was done with the Earth and Princesses and the Negaverse. She'd fight for something that meant something for her.

"So what now?" Despite having seniority as a Senshi, Bell was no leader. In another time, another life, she might have been, but she wasn't that person anymore.

Bell didn't like going to the past for answers. The past was the past for a reason. Their worlds were dead for a reason. And whatever reason that was, in the end, they had failed. Once could say 'if this had been different' and suppose all day long, but that didn't mean it would work this time. Still bell didn't say that. Maybe some part of her knew that going to her own world would have only caused her more problems then solved them, and that was why she fought so hard against it. Who knew.

Still, Themis' own intentions were good. It scared her though. Who knew what he'd discover, and what effects those discoveries would have? Maybe that was simply Bell's own insecurities talking.

"You know what I think of the past. Still, I hope you find what you're looking for. You know I'll help if I can."

It was hard to admit when one was afraid, to admit one's insecurities. Bell had spent a lot of time dragging her own self down. She was an emotional burden, a horrible sister, not good for much of anything, a total freaken b***h at times, among many other things.

"I guess I'm a little afraid what you'll find in the past," She gave an uneasy smile.