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 Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:51 pm
Just as long as idiocy existed within the human mind, so has the lush fools who make it possible. Oh yea, and those who aren't drunks but just plain ol' gullible and dim. Yep, they have existed just as long. Really, they have.
There also existed those who have never had the bottled ambrosia of the gods trickle upon their lips. Pure virgins to the wondrous feeling of intoxication. Even in an evil crime syndicate, where underage drinking was just as abundant as Pokemon stealing, there were those who knew nothing of the feeling.
Especially the dreary love song, L. P. Dinkley.
So when she discovered a bottle one day, a random drink that she wished to drink because she had eaten something spicy, she made no pause to quickly try and budge the cap off it. Of course, she had no arm strength at all. Her blurred gaze made it even worse to try and pry the cap off. Unfortunately, her gaze was also so blurred she couldn't read that it said, "champagne." No- she was only concentrated on getting it open . . . and this prompted a string of hitting it again a pillow.
Yep, that will open it . . . definitely.
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:20 pm
Alexander had never had the urge to drink alcohol in his life and had never planned on drinking it. Having been raised in the ideals that drinking too much was not only bad for you but also lead to stupidity, things you would always regret and a really bad head ache. So when he came across Lennyka trying to open a bottle it never even entered his mind it could be alcohol. "Need some help?" he asked in amusement as she started to hit it with a pillow. Where did she even get the pillow from?
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:28 pm
Len continued to hit the damn thing until a certain question from a certain familiar voice punctured her senses. Oh, great savior, thank youuu!
"Yesb, pleab!" she flailed, tongue lolling out of her mouth. Her mouth was still on fire, still!
She pushed the bottle in his general direction and let the pillow drop to the floor, eyes blaring with tears. Oh Arceus, if he didn't get the bottle open she was going to SCREAM!
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:04 am
Alexander took pity on her and grabbed the bottle quickly. I ignored the label as he twisted and popped the top of then handed it back. "There you are." he gave an amused smile at her. It never stopped amazing him how funny the older woman could be with out even trying. He glanced around the room before looking back at her. Judging from her reaction she must of had something really spicy. "What happened?" he asked just so he could confirm his suspicions.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:51 am
"Thankb youb." replied Len, taking the bottle. The rest of her reply was muffled by her sloshing down the bottle heartily.
When she finally tore her lips from it (it was some time later, actually), a tiny splash of the champagne flew from her lips.
"Oh, that tastes good." she sighed, staring at the bottle. Suddenly, her vision went blurry. Had someone taken her glasses off? Her face burned intensely as she felt a blush creep in. Had someone turned up the thermostate? Next thing she knew, she was now upon the ground with the drink giving a gentle glug-glug-glug as it spilled out the bottle. Had someone turned off the gravity? What was this feeling?
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:20 am
What had been amusing quickly turned into concern when Alexander watched Lennyka slump to the ground. He dropped to his knees and felt the back of her head to make sure she didn't hit it hard enough to bleed. "Are you alright?! How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked and held up three fingers in front of her eyes. He glanced over at the bottle briefly, debating on whether he should see what it was but he decided to wait until he got a response from Lennyka.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:45 pm
"Uh . . . s-si-no, seveen? Aha, I liiiike this game!"
She felt as though she was drifting through the cosmos on an intergalactic recliner. Oh how the heavens burst through with great simplicity! Oh how wondrous the unearthly vastness of space! Oh how her breath smelled terribly of alcohol! The stench was quite clear as she gasped, drawing in air than expressing it quickly from her mouth.
"Hey, Alex, what ya doin' 'ere in space?" she asked. "F-Fudghetta 'bout it man, it nice, no? Aha."
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:40 pm
Ok now he was definitely worried. Alexander looked over at the bottle and saw what it was labeled... and let out a sigh. "Lennyka, did you know you were drinking champagne?" he gave her an annoyed/amused look. Like she really needed to get drunk. Even if she hadn't known what it was she was drinking this was going to be fun.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:56 pm
"Vhat?" she blanched. Len really wasn't listening to anything he was saying, so it remained nothing but gibberish to her ears. She blinked a couple of times than covered her mouth in sudden shame.
"You swine!" she screamed and suddenly slapped him, terribly, for some reason or another. She scuttled away in terror and curled up into a trademark fetal position. This proved fruitless though, as she rocked flatly to her hip and flat, once again, to the floor.
"Hey, who keeps turning the world sideways?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:26 pm
Alexander was quite startled when she suddenly yelled at him and couldn't move away fast enough to avoid the slap. "OUCH! What did I do?!" He whined and rubbed his abused cheek. He stared at her with a frown and a slight glare. "Ok, no more alcohol for you." He said then moved closer to her, but making sure to keep out of reach. "The world isn't sideways."
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:33 pm
"Than I'm straight." she slurred. "Annnd, you're sideways. What's it like to walk on air, huh?"
"Huh, huh?"
Len jumped to her feet and held both palms to her bosom, spinning on a carefree heel. Was she really such a kook when drunk?
"Annd, so the women come and go . . . squawking of Michelangelo!" she hummed, somewhat quoting T.S. Elliot. "The yellow smoke, the yellow smoke!"
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:44 pm
Alexander started to inch away from her. As amusing as she was being right now, if she ended up throwing up he didn't want it on him. "No one if sideways, your drunk." he said, not expecting her to really listen. "I am officially banning you from alcohol, I'll get some one to hack into the system to make a note of it." he chuckled.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:54 pm
"B-B-Bl-B-Bl-Blasphemy!" she cried, pounding a meaty fist against her heart. "Screw your courage to the sticking-place!" Now quoting Lady Macbeth.
"For I have known, err." Len hesitated, wearily taking a step forward. "By the gods, I saw a f*cking sound!"
"I saw a f*cking sound!"
Beady eyes stared down towards Alex and pointed an injecting finger. "A-And there he is, cretin . . . foul beast! My weapon, my bottle, where be it? Kill the beast!"
Kill the . . . beast?
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:04 pm
Alexander looked from Lennyka then to the now empty bottle then back t the woman. "It's gone, all gone and your not getting another one." He then moved even farther away from her. If she was going to be talking about killing anything and pointing at him he didn't want to be to close. "I think you should just sit down and let the alcohol make it's way out of your system."
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:30 pm
"Off with his head! Off with his head!" she cried, eyes searching about. Of course, her vision was much to blurry to actually make out where the damn thing was. "I want to say hello to my boom schtick!"
Len paused and looked to Alex, smiling. "Yes, I should warm my throne!" she slurred in a shout. She flopped to a nearby, open seat and waggled a finger.
"Jest-her, entertain me!" she wailed. "Or in the name of the Pokemoon, I will punish you!"
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