Ari was literally shaking with rage by the time she got home. Part of her was desperate to believe this was just a big misunderstanding. The other part, a nasty little voice that snuck into her mind like an encroaching winter chill, pointed out the unlikelihood that both Dr Vagnier and Becky had both been mistaken about what her mother was asking from them.

It took her several tries to get her key in the door. The house was silent. Not even letting the door slam behind her revealed any sign of life. Ari forced herself to slowly inhale and exhale, trying to reach a state of calm. It would have been unusual for either parent to be home this early. Her stomach couldn’t help but curdle at the thought of waiting even longer to clear this up. Action was her forte; waiting and planning and over-thinking just made her feel sick.

She moved on auto-pilot through the empty house. Entering her bedroom, she dropped her bag a few feet inside the door and threw herself onto her large bed. Breaths came fast, rattling in her lungs as Ari tried to control the emotions sweeping through her. She failed. One hand shot out, grabbing a pillow. Ari buried her face in it and screamed. Long and wordless, just trying to force everything back out of her. Eventually her breathing slowed, became easier. Ari pushed herself back up into a seated position. The pillow was damp and Ari wiped at wet eyes. She hadn’t even noticed herself tearing up.

‘How stupid,’ she told herself. ‘Crying never solves anything. Why are you wasting time on tears like some weakling?’

The answer came was immediate: because there was still no action that could be taken. Just more waiting and working herself up further and further. How equally stupid. Ari shook her head. To distract herself, she got off the bed and moved to her desk. One of the shelves was lined with thin, colourful books - her journals. Ari plucked out the right-most journal. She should definitely record what had happened today, maybe writing it out would help her feel better. Writing her journals was cathartic, and Ari managed a small smile at the thought of being able to do something about the situation already.

‘There’s something off about the cover,’ she thought. ‘Were there butterflies on this one before?’ The smile disappeared as Ari opened the book near the back to be faced with her own looping scrawl. She didn’t remember getting this far through the book just yet. Reading closer confirmed that the entry was covering events some months past. Ari frowned. Had she put her most recent journal back in the wrong place last night after patrol due to exhaustion? She picked out the next book along. It was dated more recently than the previous one. Both journals were lowered to the desk. Ari stared down at them, but her gaze passed right through them. There was no way she’d moved multiple journals out of order, even when about to pass out. But then how could they possibly have…?

Ari pulled herself free of the black mire of her thoughts by someone calling her name. She blinked. Violet eyes focused on the journals again, confusion entering them to be quickly replaced with comprehension and hurt.

“Ari?” came her name again. “Ari? There you are! I was beginning to think that you weren’t home.”

Diana Knight entered the doorway as Ari turned to look over her shoulder. Ari couldn’t bring the rest of her body to move, the sight of her mother a sudden shock. All the afternoon’s feelings rushed back with the force of a sucker punch. Ari absently wondered just how long she’d been standing at her desk, for Diana to be home from work. Her father wouldn’t be far behind, if she remembered their schedules correctly. Perhaps she needed to check that again, she thought, eyes glazing over.

“Why didn’t you answer me when I called?” Ari’s mother asked. Her lips pressed together and her eyebrows attempted to follow suit. “Honey, are you okay? You look a little…”

Wary violet eyes flicked down to the journals, then back to the woman in the doorway. “My journals are all out of order,” Ari said quietly.

“Hmm?” Diana cocked her head. She gave the desk a brief glance, but quickly returned a worried gaze to her daughter’s face. “Maybe you mixed them up accidentally? Or forgot what order you put them in?”

The hint that it might be her faulty memory at work stung. Ari’s memory was already a sore point for the girl – her mother was well aware – and to try and use that against her… It made Ari more determined to push the issue, another piece of kindling fueling the fire in her belly. “They are always in chronological order. Precisely so that I can always find what I’m looking for, and so that I don’t forget or mix them up.”

All that earned her was a shrug and a blank look. “Maybe the maid moved them when she was dusting or tidying up?” Diana suggested in a tone that said she didn’t see the big deal. She sighed and rubbed at her neck. “Ari, I’ve had a very tiring day. If there’s nothing else the matter…?”

Despite the fact that Ari didn’t believe any maid would take books off the shelf to dust them, on any other day Ari would have let it be at that. Given enough time, she would have forgotten the incident, or chalked it up to her faulty memory just like Diana had tried to make Ari believe.

But this wasn’t any other day. And the journals weren’t the first issue.

Diana had already turned and walked out. Ari followed. Steeling herself, she paused just outside her room. “Mother,” she called, glad to hear her voice come out strong and clear.

When Diana turned around, faint surprise and concern shone in her face. There was a softness present that Ari hadn’t quite expected, as though Diana truly wished to hear about any problems Ari was having. Well, all things considered, perhaps that wasn’t so unusual. Curiosity wasn’t in doubt when it came to motives for Diana’s search for information.

“Mother,” Ari repeated, clenching fists and jaw, “why is my doctor ‘reassuring’ me that he won’t pass details of our sessions on to you?”

There. Just for the briefest of moments - mere milliseconds - Diana’s expression had shown something that made Ari want to drop into a defensive fighting pose. It took all Ari’s willpower to keep her fists from flying up. As it was, they made it to her chest and then quickly unclenched to flutter uselessly.

Ari flinched as her mother laughed: the silvery, carefree socialite laugh that was only used in ‘polite’ situations where nothing was really funny at all. Diana’s face was the perfect mix of embarrassment and reassurance - if only Ari wasn’t experienced in watching enemies across a battlefield for the tiniest hints that would betray their next move. “Did he say that? We were simply catching up and I asked him how you were doing - a mother’s concern is hard to contain, it seems. It was just a casual question in passing. I’m actually surprised Riven would say something like that. Imagine, making you worry about nothing at all!”

“Stop lying!” Ari burst out, halfway between a scream and a sob. Her chest heaved as she flung her own accusations back at the pretty lies. “He wouldn’t be so concerned about my reaction if it was just a case of ‘how is Ari?’ And Becky, too! Trying to sneak my files out of her! What part of that is ‘casual’ or ‘in passing’?”

Her mother’s face crumbled, but it was only for a moment before it hardened. “I just want to know what’s going on with my daughter! Is that such a crime?”

“YES!” Ari screamed. “Access to confidential patient records? It’s illegal. And that you’d do that to me!”

“What am I supposed to do?” Diana asked, voice rising. Her hands made wild, slashing gestures as she argued. “You don’t talk to me. You won’t tell me anything about your progress anymore, and barely anything about your life. I’m worried-!”

“You could trust me!” After this outburst, Ari seemed to fall in on herself. Quieter now, she stared at her mother with damp eyes. Her arms had long since wrapped around herself, the only reassurance that was forthcoming during this confrontation. “How could you do this to me? How’m I supposed to trust you? God, how do I trust that you won’t eventually get something out of Doctor Vagnier? I just-” Ari’s voice trembled, “- are you trying to ruin my therapy?”

“And just good is that man doing you?” snapped Diana. “You come from school late half the time. You sneak out of your room - don’t think your father and I hadn’t noticed! You have strange bruises, and last week you were limping for God’s sake. What am I supposed to think? Of course I’m going to do whatever is necessary to find the truth. I’m your mother! I have to protect you - from yourself, if necessary.”

“What? You’re the one who recommended him! I never would have stuck with him if you hadn’t insisted.” Ari’s temper flared. “And I don’t need protecting! You’ve got no idea what I can do-”

“Because you won’t tell me! And I highly doubt any of it is good. Some gang recruits you and suddenly you’re breaking all our rules and sneaking around like some... like some low-class trash from St Magdalena’s! And he’s just keeping it all secret from me and letting you get yourself hurt? No, I won’t stand for it.”

“Gang?” Ari was confused - and having deja vu since Dr Vagnier had thought the same thing, though he’d actually heard her talk about the BMC. Ari had never mentioned anything about them near either parent. It finally clicked - the journals. Of course her senshi activities were recorded, though always in vague, plausibly-deniable terms. No wonder the BMC were mistaken for some thuggish gang. “You read my journals!? Those are part of my therapy!” Ari hissed, spitting like a cornered cat. “How dare you? You, a therapist yourself, you were my therapist, you know how long it takes me to trust anyone. And you invade my privacy, betray my trust? How could you?”

“I’m your mother!”

“No, you aren’t!” The moment the words burst from Ari’s lips, she knew it was a mistake. Not that it wasn’t exactly how Ari was feeling right now, but such a hurtful thing could only make this worse, make it much more dangerous.

The colour ran from Diana’s face, leaving her sickly pale. In her defense, she recovered quickly. A burning rage flared in her eyes. Shoulders raised and fists clenched, she sucked in a deep breath and opened her mouth to begin yelling again.

Ari didn’t wait to hear it. Spinning on her heel, she fled back into her room. She slammed and locked the door behind her. Grabbed the bag she’d dropped earlier, Ari flew around the room. The first clothes in her wardrobe were ripped off their hangers and stuffed into the bag. A pass by her desk had study snacks thrown in.

“Ari!” There was a rattle followed by loud banging on the door. “Open this door! Young lady, I’m giving you til the count of…”

Tuning out the muffled yells and pounding, Ari decided that that would have to do her. She wrenched the window wide open. Sitting on the ledge, she spun around and gathered her feet beneath her. It wasn’t a far leap to the sturdy tree branch just outside her room. Ari clambered down easily. Her feet knew the way out of the gardens and over the fence, which was a good thing since her vision was blurring over with more stupid, useless tears.




[ Wordcount: 2007 words. Worth 2 solos. ]