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 Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:39 pm
--Petals Back On The Rose--
These days when we say goodnight
We're lying facing our own side
Wondering if we're in the right bed.
We've gotten used to all the fighting
I walk out, you start crying
And neither one of us knows what we said.
But all that's gonna change from right now on
I won't give up until we're back in love.
Can we put the petals back on the rose?
It's been you and me and this stem of thorns from a long time of lows.
Sadness and frustration.
Sometimes that's how it goes.
But baby tonight I start to put the petals back on the rose.
I haven't been the Girl I promised I'd be
To fight for us and not for me
Every choice I made pushed you away
And I don't wanna let you go
Because I didn't do all I know
To make you happy once again and stay, stay, stay
And all that's gonna change from right now on
I won't give up until you're back in love.
Can we put the petals back on the rose?
It's been you and me and this stem of thorns from a long time of lows.
Sadness and frustration.
Sometimes that's how it goes.
But baby tonight I start to put the petals back on the rose.
I realize it takes more than just wanting it
But with a little work we don't have to quit
Baby please, please.
Help me lift us out and put the petals back on the rose.
It's been you and me and this stem of thorns from a long time of lows.
Sadness and frustration.
Sometimes that's how it goes.
But baby tonight I start, yeah I'll win your heart
And I'll do my part to put the petals back on the rose
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I posted this a while ago in another forum, and never got it critiqued. So, be a dear and hate/discriminate!
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 9:17 am
I think that the concept of this poem/song is good, and the rhythm is there...sometimes. Some of the lines seem like there are a little too many words, maybe some lines could be separated into two. Anyway, I commend you for making a chorus that works, I always have trouble with the chorus and it is nice to see someone else who can so I can take a look and learn something from it.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:16 pm
NotesOnMyPiano I think that the concept of this poem/song is good, and the rhythm is there...sometimes. Some of the lines seem like there are a little too many words, maybe some lines could be separated into two. Anyway, I commend you for making a chorus that works, I always have trouble with the chorus and it is nice to see someone else who can so I can take a look and learn something from it. Thanks! It's good to see actual critique.
Usually, people say they love it and steal it, which irritates me. stressed
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:19 pm
Sinister Whispers NotesOnMyPiano I think that the concept of this poem/song is good, and the rhythm is there...sometimes. Some of the lines seem like there are a little too many words, maybe some lines could be separated into two. Anyway, I commend you for making a chorus that works, I always have trouble with the chorus and it is nice to see someone else who can so I can take a look and learn something from it. Thanks! It's good to see actual critique.
Usually, people say they love it and steal it, which irritates me. stressed That irritates me too...by the way I love the picture in your signature.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 7:56 pm
NotesOnMyPiano Sinister Whispers NotesOnMyPiano I think that the concept of this poem/song is good, and the rhythm is there...sometimes. Some of the lines seem like there are a little too many words, maybe some lines could be separated into two. Anyway, I commend you for making a chorus that works, I always have trouble with the chorus and it is nice to see someone else who can so I can take a look and learn something from it. Thanks! It's good to see actual critique.
Usually, people say they love it and steal it, which irritates me. stressed That irritates me too...by the way I love the picture in your signature. Why thank you, I've been meaning to change it though. To a more current, or better, picture. lol
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