Welcome to Gaia! ::

I know that most people today somewhere in the back of their minds probably are afraid to walk streets at night alone. I was raped by a family member at other families houses, so it's not like I was picked off the streets or anything, but I feel like since that happened I feel soooo scared and terrified to even walk out my door at night to get something out of the car. I feel like someones watching me getting ready for the right moment to grab me.... I live in a very small 'village" and everyone pretty much knows everyone, but even walking around during the day I have this ...fear...that I'm going to be raped again...My parents don't know this ever happened to me...I still don't want to tell them...The person who did that to me was a cousin and I don't want to mess his life up.....that's the hardest part.....but, when I complain about being freaked by having to go outside especially at night they yell at me and tell me to suck it up. I'mafriad that when I get my own house I will always be inside, doors and windows locked because of my fear...I can't get couceling (spelling?) so what should I do? Just get over my fear or do you think it's normal for me to feel like this under those circumstances..?

1. It's normal to feel that way, especially with what happened.

2. I know you don't want to tell your parents, but you should. They may actually be able to help you.

to be honest, you should tell you parents, you don't want to mess up your cousins life when he messed up yours? you should tell them so they can understand why you think you'll be raped by someone outside
sweety, you gotta tell someone, let it out to feel better and so you can get the help you need, counceling may help

Tell your parents. Do not be afraid to mess up his life when he messed up yours. He deserves it.