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 Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:10 am
As I type this. She should probably be done soon..
She told me it was on Friday and I got it all off work and then she was like OOPS NO IT'S THURSDAY so I wasn't able to make it.
Honestly it was no surprise when she texted me saying she was pregnant. She... is a dumb girl sometimes. She barely wore condoms with her boyfriend because 'she can't feel it' and always forgot to take her birth control.
So I told her straight up
No sorry you can't keep it.
Because
A) She's broke. Flat out broke. Her cellphone got cut off until recently because she didn't pay her bill.
B) Her boyfriend is 28. Still married though separated. He's totally un-reliable. After he heard she was preggo he went on drinking and coke binges with his friends.
C) She was doing hard drugs before and during the pregnancy up until she found out. (Coke, ectasy, weed and alcohol)
So even if she did keep it, I'm sure that kid would be messed up somehow.
So yeah. I'm waiting till she's done then I'm going to go over there and bring ice cream and other feel good snacks.
What would you do if your friend told you she was pregnant?
I guess it depends WHICH friend of course but yeahh.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:22 am
It depends on the friend. My bestie and her her boyfriend live together and she's very good with children and loves babies, literally everything about them and finds thier development fascinating. Her boyfriend doesn't seem adverse to having kids some day, so I'd probably be happy for her and plan her baby shower.
One of our acquaintances got pregnant and had her baby literally two days after Mary. She's got four kids now, tried to give them all away for adoption then went OOPS I KEEP IT at the last second after they were born and her and her on again off again boyfriend fiancee of 13+ years always cheats, does s**t to piss her off, bawws that he will change and she goes back to him, then is amazed when he does it again.
I am not super close with her, but I can't say I approve of that situation, but I also have absolutely zero say in it, and she doesn't need approval from me.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:28 am
Be supportive, no matter what the situation was.
I think if someone is irresponsible, there's no amount of lecturing that you can do which would make them less so. It's not like my friends are ignorant, they know how babies are made and they know how to stop that and they know what to do to have safe sex. If, despite all that knowledge, they still choose to be irresponsible, it's on them.
So yeah, it's their choice. I probably wouldn't say anything particular, just a general "Well I'm here as a friend if you need me for anything. Just tell me what to do!" but I doubt I'd say more than that, and I really wouldn't feel comfortable giving them any advice or opinions about the situation. If they asked and pushed for my opinion, maybe, but only then.
The snacks and good food sounds like a good idea. Add a relaxing comedy film maybe to take their mind off it?
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:31 am
Yeah, I gave up lecturing her awhile back cause it does no use. Maybe something like this will get her to change her ways. She sent me texts this morning saying how scared she was, and she went in yesterday to have the seaweed put in her (??? I'm not too familiar with how the procedure goes but I think it's to kind of..open her up or something? Not sure)
So she was complaining about cramps all day yesterday.
And yeah I'm bringing her the Sims 2 and letting her borrow it for awhile cause she loves it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 9:34 am
Be supportive, regardless of what you think. It's not your body, so whatever they choose to do with, if unsafe and kind of stupid, isn't really anyone's business but there's. My friends that are parents in Oregon are really quite good at managing their lives. Their kids happened and they worked around it. They work their asses off, but they're fine human beings. The kids are great, too. :B
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:07 am
Her only pro to keeping it was 'I love babies' Then I didn't talk to her for a few weeks and she had sent me this message: SO I mean she came around in the end, anyways. She got out not too long ago, she sounded like s**t, I'm heading over there within the hour.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 2:03 pm
I don't really agree with the opinion that since it's not your body, you can't give your opinion. You're supposed to be honest with your friends all the time, not just when you agree with them. I'm not saying you should shove your opinions down their throat of course, but when something life-changing like a pregnancy happens, you need to have a serious discussion about how dedicated they are to their baby and if they honestly think that they can handle the responsibility. You want to try and give an opinion without being overbearing, or thinking that you can tell them what to do.
If one of my friends got pregnant, obviously I'd first want to find out what they're thinking. If they're not sure, I'd want to talk to them about it. But once they've made a decision, all you can do is be there for them.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:23 pm
If she can't afford a baby, how can she afford an abortion?
With my shower and everything, I've really hardly had to spend any money on Ezra. Most of the money I have spent, I spent on unnecessary things for him just because I wanted them. x3
Babies are p. damn cheap the first year, at least.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 5:31 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:22 pm
Lol even if wasn't free, the cost of an abortion is definitely not comparable to the price of a child.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:33 pm
Duuude.
We just watched "If These Walls Could Talk" in my Sociology of Sex Roles class today.
INTENSE.
Also, on a kinda related note - Canada is the s**t, fo' real.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:04 am
Undecidability I don't really agree with the opinion that since it's not your body, you can't give your opinion. You're supposed to be honest with your friends all the time, not just when you agree with them. I'm not saying you should shove your opinions down their throat of course, but when something life-changing like a pregnancy happens, you need to have a serious discussion about how dedicated they are to their baby and if they honestly think that they can handle the responsibility. You want to try and give an opinion without being overbearing, or thinking that you can tell them what to do.
If one of my friends got pregnant, obviously I'd first want to find out what they're thinking. If they're not sure, I'd want to talk to them about it. But once they've made a decision, all you can do is be there for them. I wasn't saying that you shouldn't give your opinion, only that it's very likely that your opinion is not going to add anything to the discussion, unless your friend is truly ignorant (not necessarily in a bad way). Idk, I think my friends already know the consequences of having a baby, and I think they'll know how life changing it would be. They don't need me telling them that's good or bad, they already know what the situation is. And me telling them is only going to come off patronising, condescending or just simply none of my business. I just don't think my opinion should factor into their decision making, so better to leave it out completely.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:32 am
And we don't require parental consent if you're over 12 years old.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:20 am
Omnomnomicon And we don't require parental consent if you're over 12 years old. wtf seriously.
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:39 am
LeRaven Omnomnomicon And we don't require parental consent if you're over 12 years old. wtf seriously.
It's a law that was put in place to protect young girls from ultra religious parents and sexual abuse from within the family.
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