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 Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:55 pm
 Iosef made his way back to the den in silence. He wasn't angry at the pups, per se, but he was exhausted and emotionally overwrought, and he didn't trust himself to be alone with them much longer before he said something he didn't mean.
And in a pack like this, saying something you didn't mean when you were a male was a sure-fire method of getting in deep, deep trouble.
"Seraphin?" He called, tentatively, watching as Chimera bolted into the den as though he were running from the boogey man. He shook his head a bit at his son and forced a tired smile onto his maw. "I'm back." Then, in a valiant attempt at being light-hearted, "...and a few of our pups followed me home."
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:06 pm
 Some days Seraphin wasn't sure how she managed to kee an eye on so many pups at once all by herself. Of course she had taken notice that Najara had slipped away, and outside of dragging a multitude of puppies with her while scouring the pack lands for her there was little to do but wait for her to return home. Even so she loved her job greatly and could not imagine doing anything else. A familiar voice rang out from outside the den and Seraphin rose to her paws, moving to step outside she nearly tripped over Chimera as he raced inside, she gave her head a shake and then proceeded out of the den. Her eyes settled on Najara and with a single stern look the pup entered the den.
"Iosef." Seraphin's voice was soft and loving, she stepped forward and gave him a nuzzle and in didn't take her long to realize that he was under some sort of stress. Taking a step back she looked into those violet eyes of his. "What's wrong?" She hoped it was nothing serious, but at least she was here if he chose to talk about it. Lucky for her Penthesilea had come by not long ago and taken Casimir's pups as well as the others to ease the burden on the nanny for a while, so save for Chimera and Najara she was free of pups. What an odd feeling to only have two to watch and both seemed to be more than willing to be in the quiet of the den right now. Pushing that thought to the back of her mind she concentrated on Iosef waiting for him to reply and hopefully tell her what was bothering him.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:29 pm
He nudged her back, peering over her shoulder, brow furrowed. "You're missing a few pups," he said, dryly, and then withdrew, lifting a brow. He suspected Seraphin would be a bit more unnerved if something traumatic had happened, so he supposed she must have been relieved by one of the females. The queen, more than likely; he couldn't think of another warrior with such a soft spot for pups.
He rolled back to his haunches. "Terreis came," he said, and glanced around. The anger was dissipating now, evaporating and leaving behind his usual wry sensibilities. "With a wolf who is, apparently, my father." He scratched at his ear, attempting to look nonchalant. "I didn't get much chance to talk to him, though, because Varia decided to arrive just about that point."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 12:39 pm
Seraphin smiled lightly. "The Queen and Orithia came by only moments ago and took them for a while to give me a small break." And for that she was eternally grateful. Though she loved her job of watching all the packs pups it did wear on her when there were so many to watch at times. At least the Queen's litter was old enough now that they did not require watching save for Orithia if she fell ill again. Probably for the best she didn't have all those eyes and ears watching and listening at this moment.
Iosef's news came as a bit of a shock. Terreis coming to visit was a somewhat regular occurrence and she happened to like the splotchy female quite a bit. But word of the male she had brought with her possibly being Iosef's father was a bit shocking. In all the time she knew Iosef he had never mentioned a father, though she knew back then females would often look outside of the pack for males to father their litters. "Your father?" Seraphin was a bit too dumbfounded by the idea to form a good response. She knew how Iosef's mother had died and had only assumed that his father had also died as well. "Varia didn't hurt him did she?" And then after a moment of thought, because Iosef seemed a bit too calm about the whole thing. "Are you okay?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 12:57 pm
"I don't think so," he said, and it was a little ambiguous which of her questions he was responding to. Then, because he realized he had to say something, he added, "I mean, Terreis followed them out, I think he got back alright. He's living in the pack she's settled in, to the south."
His brow furrowed. There were a dozen things on his mind. He didn't even know how he was supposed to feel about having a father, much less about how the whole situation had happened. Overall, he just felt...numb.
And there was that other thing. That thing too big to put into words, even in his own mind, that shady nebulous fear that to love something was to lose it...that everything would, at some point, abandon him.
"....I never asked for a father," he said, far more plaintively than he meant to. "But that's not...not the sort of thing you can just...pretend isn't there...once you figure it out. Not like they want it to be."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:15 pm
Eying her mate critically Seraphin sat quiet for a few moments knowing that Iosef often hid things not only from her but from himself as well in a way, burying feelings within himself so as to try to avoid talking about them. Of course the thought Terreis and her father living in the same pack made Seraphin wonder just what kind of stress the patchy female was under. Clearly both Terreis and Varia were not open to the idea of their father, and to a certain extent neither was Iosef. But this was a very big change in all of their lives and things such as this took time to accept.
"You all just need some time to adjust." She ventured, not wanting to sound like she wanted to force Iosef into accepting his father. He needed to make that decision on his own when he had more time and information to think on. "I know this must be hard on you." Even if he didn't outright say it, unless his 'I don't think so' from before had been the answer to her question. Still she wasn't quite sure what to say to make Iosef feel better, this was a big deal and telling him to ignore it or force him into dealing with it would get them no where fast. "No matter what, just remember I am always here for you." Giving him a reassuring nudge with her nose Searphin tried to be as supportive as possible in this moment of uncertainty.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:27 pm
He smiled at her, a meager half-smile. "It's been quite a day," he said, eager to get away from the topic. He marveled at how he had managed to procure such a good friend, and what he would do if she, too, vanished from his life. He only wished he could open up more...drop his guard...be himself.
But, then, Iosef didn't know who 'himself' was anymore.
"...But enough about all that. You've finally got some time alone, away from all the pups," well, for the most part, "...You don't need me moping around now. Do you need anything?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:06 pm
Nodding her head Seraphin could see how this was quite the day for him. At least he could relax now and even temporarily forget it had all happened until he was more ready to come to terms with it. Still, having him brush it off so quickly and easily unnerved her a bit as she knew he was once again hiding his feeling, perhaps for her benefit, perhaps for his own. But it would be nice if every now and then he would open up about things such as this. Something to work on slowly in the future.
Still, she gave him a stern look for a moment. "So easy to shift your concern to others when it you yourself you should worry about sometimes." Seraphin wasn't trying to start something, just merely pointing out a fact and then quickly dropped the subject. She glanced back in the den to see that both Chimera and Najara were fast asleep, smiling softly she turned her gaze back to Iosef. "I don't need anything really. Your presence is enough." And it was true, while some wolves may be looking to do something with their freedom granted from such a break from their duties Seraphin was just glad to have Iosef around her. Too often was he tied up in chores and other things to spend much time together.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:38 pm
"Fair enough," he said, drooping his ears a bit and looking appropriately chastised. His eyes glinted a little, though, and his expression was good humored. He was so grateful to have Seraphin's companionship, and doubly grateful that the hard life of Antianeira hadn't destroyed the best parts of her.
Then, because it seemed important, and because the thought had bubbled up to the surface of his mind before he could stop it, he said, "...I think Varia means to turn our daughter against me." He thought back to the small incident between her and Najara, played it over in his mind. "Najara, I mean." Not that it should surprise him, he thought bitterly.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 3:44 pm
She could imagine as much. "That is not so shocking. Varia only wishes to gain through destroying others." Sad but true, really how did one sibling turn out so differently that the others. Yes should could see that each of her children were different in their own way, but there was, so far, no major differences that could potentially drive a great distance between them. And she hoped it remained as such as well. "I think that in the end it will be Varia who destroys herself. One can only follow the path of destruction for so long before it consumes them as well."
Even so, she made a note to keep an extra eye on Najara in the mean time. "Don't worry, I'll watch her closely.No harm will ever come to our pups if I can help it." Though not a warrior in any means Seraphin knew that if push came to shove she would protect her pups with her own life if ever needed.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:43 pm
He considered this. there was wisdom in her words, undeniably, and he wondered at how the end would come to her. Strange, but as much as he feared her, and sometimes hated her, the idea of bad things befalling his eldest sister made him shiver. "I know. She'll be all right," he said, peering back toward the den, looking upon his daughter with absolute adoration. She was trouble a lot of times, but she was undeniably worth it. They all were. "I just...I hate that I make things harder, on everyone."
He looked up at Seraphin with soulful eyes. He never tried to play for pity, but he had an undeniable martyr complex whether he realized it or not. "The male...I think his name was Adonai. He came here to visit me, specifically. I think I should probably....go try to talk to him. At YMCA."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:05 pm
"They will all do just fine." Seraphin stated, confident that no matter what path any of their children took it would be the right one. How badly could the pups stray with two such loving parents? Well only time would truly tell, but for now she could only see her children as the innocent and loving pups that they were, even if at times they were trouble makers. "Iosef." Her voice sounding like when she was punishing one of the pups. "I don't want to hear anymore about how you think you are a burden to others. This pack is not perfect, no pack is, but there are enough wolves here that care about."
Really Seraphin hated scolding Iosef because it would only make him draw away, but she couldn't let him constantly beat himself up over things. Sighing she gave him a loving and apologetic nudge before moving on to the next subject. "Meeting him on neutral grounds would be for the best." While she had never been to YMCA herself she had heard enough about the pack to know it was far different than it was here. The wolves there were for the most part more willing to accept others and fighting rarely occurred between it's members. A huge contrast it seemed to the ways of Antianeira. "You will of course need to take this up with the Queen. But I am certain she will agree to you going for a visit, it will allow you to see your other nephews again."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:19 pm
He ducked his head again as she chastised him. Oddly, that sort of verbal reprimand was always more powerful against him than any kind of cruelty. "...I think I might take Chimera with me," he said, tentatively. "And the other boys, perhaps, if they want to come. They might enjoy seeing all their cousins."
The idea of talking to the Queen about any of this seemed daunting. He hoped that perhaps Terreis would do it for him. "You should come, sometime. If you ever get a spare moment." he smiled. "It's a different world, there."
A different world that, he sometimes wondered, might be better.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:35 pm
Seraphin nodded slightly. "Yes, I think it would be good for them to see their cousins and things outside of the pack." And honestly she couldn't think of a safer place for them to go and visit than YMCA, not only where they allies but there was a deep blood bond between the two packs. "It will be good for you as well." In truth Seraphin was thinking with all the stress Iosef was under it would be good for him to get away for a while, relax and not worry about things. Not that Iosef would likely relax even while visiting their ally pack, but it was a nice thought at least.
The idea of her tagging along made her smile. Boy it would be a nice break to get away from it all, but who would watch the pups? Granted Casimir's lot was about ready to move to their new pack which would leave only her brood to watch over. But that was still a few pups for someone to watch if she was allowed time to leave or else they would be bringing five pups in tow, which could prove for a bit of a stressful journey and visit. "Perhaps one day I can go." She assured Iosef, though if the Queen would allow her leave this time she would be more than happy to tag alone. "I will mention it to her next time I see her. I would really like to see that pack." Which would be later in the day when the pups were brought back to the den.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 7:17 pm
"You should," he urged, and nodded. He thought it might also be good for certain nephews of his to see that not all of the females from Antianeira were the same.
He yawned, feeling tremendously exhausted now. So much going on. So much on his mind. And as much as talking about it would probably make him feel better, he just didn't have it in him. "Mind if I sleep awhile, here?" He asked, moving his eyes back to the pups, brow furrowing. They looked so peaceful now. He envied that about children, above nearly everything else. Then, almost shyly, he glanced back at her. "...I'm sure you could use a nap, too."
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