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 Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:31 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:45 pm
Avalokiteshvara smiled as she looked upon her two descendants. Both were great-granddaughters, born within a few months of each other in the midst of autumn. In that way their lives had started out similarly, but in others they couldn't have been more different. Adagio had been born into a loving and whole family. Shrivatsa's father was a murderer who she had never known and her mother was a terrified wreck that never showed her children love. Vara had spent a long time musing over it as the two of them had grown, wondering about the ways of the world in what it gave and took to those living upon it.
She had taken it upon herself to mentor the two of them. She wasn't exactly getting any younger and she needed a successor. Haya, her son and an elder, would be the next protector of the herd but that was not enough. The herd would need another alpha to lead beside him, and it wouldn't be long. Vara had decided to teach and train the two fillies as an attempt to prepare them for the possibility of leadership. Now that they were young adult mares she continued these lessons and today was one such occasion. The current topic of discussion were the vows of the Padmapani and what they meant.
"And what do you think about the vow we take to not harbor anger or resentment?" she asked her two pupils. "How does that affect you personally?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:53 pm
Auspicious Adagio started first as she was accustomed to. She found it best to lead by example and knew that Shrivatsa generally needed the example of how to answer. Her beautiful thick mane billowed around her face and the smile she wore was somehow both demure and confident at the same time.
"Well," she said in her quiet and lovely voice. "This is one of the most important vows that the Padmapani take. It is the one that comes into play the most often in our day to day lives." She looked at Shrivatsa before glancing out at where the rest of the herd grazed a distance away. "Aren't there always things in life that will anger us or bring cause for us to resent one another? Just as the cycle of death and rebirth will continue, so will continue the cycle of suffering and the anger it brings." She fanned her wings out slightly and lifted her head a little higher. "I strive every day to rise above resentment and anger so that I can better understand and serve the needs of those around me."
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:14 pm
Shrivatsa listened to her cousin speak with an air of brooding frustration. She sometimes wondered if Adagio even believed half the things that she said. She was always so full of pretty words, but to Shrivatsa those words were as empty as smoke. She impatiently fidgeted while Adagio went on and her lanterns bumped against her sides. They weren't lit currently but their screaming faces were just as eerie without light.
Finally Adagio finished and Shrivatsa felt the calm attention of her great-grandmother turn to her. She knew that she would have nothing as beautiful to add as Adagio and had learned long ago not even to bother trying. How was she even supposed to answer that?
"I think that not 'harboring anger' is a lot harder than that," she muttered with an unappreciative look at Adagio. "And sometimes resentment is just a part of life."
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:55 pm
Inwardly Vara felt a tinge of exasperation. Sometimes the two of them seemed more intent on irritating each other than on concentrating. She hoped that they would be able to focus today. Her smile to them betrayed none of those thoughts. She prided herself on being able to project compassionate calm no matter what the situation.
"Both of you are correct," she said. "Vowing to try to separate ourselves from anger is one of the most important vows but it is also one of the most difficult. Anger very much is a natural part of life, so in a way it is very unnatural to attempt to be rid of it." She waited a moment before continuing. "Now, I'd like you each to tell me something that has made you angry or resentful that has happened recently."
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:03 pm
"Well..." Once more, Adagio was taking the lead. Her eyes drifted in another direction as her mind searched for an appropriate occasion. She considered until her she seized on something. She looked at her great-grandmother with a dry little smile.
"It's about one of my brothers, Glissando. He and I don't always see eye to eye. I saw him a few days ago and tried to start up a conversation with him but he was very short with me. He kept telling me that I was wasting his time and that he was going to be late to self-defense practice with Elder Hayagriva."
Her tone grew more understanding. "But of course I shouldn't have been bothering him while he was busy. I suppose it was my fault as well."
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:46 pm
It was easy for Shrivatsa to think of an incident that had made her angry. In fact, she felt resentment build up just about whenever she was with her cousin. Much as she would have liked to call out Adagio for being a stuck up princess in front of Vara, she decided not to. It wouldn't be worth the effort of the argument and lecturing that would follow. Her vulpine ears flicked one way and then the other while she formed her response. Maybe it was better to just be truthful about some things.
"Honestly, a lot of things bug me," she said. She hated the way her voice sounded when compared to Adagio. Adagio's whole family sang like birds and Shrivatsa could almost hear the music in the way that she talked. Everything that she said sounded beautiful. Shrivatsa heard her own voice and thought it sounded more like the growling of dogs. It was too low, too quiet, and her almost constant negativity seemed to have soaked into each word.
"And maybe," she went on. "Maybe it's ok sometimes to feel angry about something. Sometimes being angry is the only thing that makes me... makes people able to put up with life."
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:51 pm
The exasperation was here to stay. She could tell already that they would shortly begin to grate on each other's nerves. Vara was often tempted to take the two of them aside for private lessons. The only thing keeping her from doing so was the knowledge that if either of them would grow to lead some day that they needed to learn how to put up with people they didn't like.
"Both of you raised important points," she said once they had finished speaking. "It is very important to consider the feelings of others, especially when we're mad at them. Think about why they might have acted in the way that angered you. Think about times when you might have acted in the same way or wanted to." She glanced at Shrivatsa. "But sometimes relying on our emotions can help us." She considered for a moment. "But it is best to learn how to set that anger and pain aside and instead build up strength within ourselves to rely on."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:15 pm
Adagio nodded along with the alpha mare. "You are so wise," she said respectfully. "I"m certain that it was very difficult for you to learn to be able to set your emotions aside." She fluttered the tips of her wings gently while keeping their bulk against her side. Vara was the oldest mare that she knew. It must be amazing to have that amount of built up experience. Adagio wondered where she would be after the same amount of years. Maybe she would be leading the Padmapani herd.
She smiled, smugly. "Maybe it's something that we should try to teach the entire herd. Like in meditation classes or something." She tilted her head at Vara, inquiring for advice. "What do you think? Hayagriva holds his lessons for those who wish to learn how to fight. I think that we should hold lessons for those who wish to learn how to control themselves."
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:20 pm
Shirvatsa felt her irritation build to a sharp point. Adagio was so stupid! Did she even hear what she was saying? Shrivatsa suspected that Adagio said things because she thought they were pretty, not because she actually believed them. Vara didn't need to be fawned on like some newborn foal. She knew that she was strong and wise enough already.
"Vara has enough stuff to do without you adding things for her," she snapped at her cousin. "She doesn't have the time to go around teaching lessons to everyone!" The whole point of Vara training them was that she was old and tired and needed other people to take over some of her duties. Shrivatsa was aghast that Adagio would try to pile more things on her.
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:28 pm
Adagio bristled in astonished aggravation. Why was Shrivatsa chastising her for a simple idea? Vara was shaking her head in disappointment at them but Adagio couldn't help but whirl on her cousin anyways. Her feathers fluffed up with her irritation and a sharp bite was in her words.
"Do you really think I'm going to force her to do anything she doesn't want to? Of course not!" She shook strands of mane out of her eyes. Her calm poise had evaporated into snappiness. "There are other meditative soquili in the herd, you know. If you actually spoke to some of our fellow Padmapani then you'd know that." Shrivatsa was notoriously private and Adagio knew that. Shrivatsa probably didn't even know who was mated to whom! Adagio could only scoff at the idea.
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:32 pm
There it was. Adagio pretended to be so perfect but she was just as petty as anyone else when it came down to it. Shrivatsa felt a burst of petty pride at having shattered Adagio's composure in front of Vara. Vara wasn't saying anything yet, but Shrivatsa was certain that a lecture would follow. She hated those "Be nice to people" lectures but this time it was worth it.
"Then go ahead," she prompted. "Ask around who wants to teach an anger management course." She was stepping into mean territory now but didn't have the will to stop herself. She looked at Adagio coyly. "Maybe you could be the first to sign up for it." Instinctively she took a step back after. She didn't think that Adagio would actually try to hurt her, but she liked to flap her wings and Shrivatsa didn't want dust in her eyes.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 12:50 pm
Vara shook her head at the two's behavior. So often her lessons eventually fell to this behavior. It was frustrating and unproductive. She wasn't going to live forever and was only getting older every year. She needed to find a replacement but so far things had not boded well for that. How could she trust either of them to lead the herd when they couldn't even get along with each other?
She bit back a sigh and spoke up to be heard between the squabbling. "I have another idea," she broke in. "Why don't the two of you spend the day speaking with only each other?" She looked between the two to make herself clear. "One of the most important things that we must learn is to accept even those that anger us. I think that learning that would be far more important th an anything else I could say to you."
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:58 am
Adagio was not pleased. Shrivatsa had been the one being so contrary and now they both were being punished for it. It was hardly fair and it was only with effort that she bit back some sort of retort. Carefully she tried to calm herself. There was no point in getting angry. Vara was a wise mare and if she thought there would be benefit then she should be heeded.
Adagio glanced sideways at where Shrivatsa stood glowering. "Well then, I suppose this is what we must do." She tried to talk with grace and poise but the snippy bite hadn't yet left her voice. "What do you want to do, cousin?"
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 12:01 pm
A whole day with Adagio? Shrivatsa was so frustrated that she could have bit someone. She narrowed her eyes and glared at Shrivatsa, not bothering to hide her distaste. Vara certainly knew how little they would enjoy this and that was certainly part of the plan. She was probably thinking something along the lines of 'misery builds character.' In Shrivatsa's opinion, Adagio had more than enough character to begin with.
She flicked her tail with irritation. There was nothing that she wanted to do with Adagio so she had to think of the least irritating way of spending time with her. She didn't want to visit the herd where Adagio could twitter around with the other herdmates. Being alone with her was unfortunately the best option. "Let's go for a walk," she suggested brusquely.
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