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Atheists marrying in church and things along those lines Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Cannibal Horsey

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:26 am


It was mentioned in one of the other threads and I thought I'd get people's views on it.

What do you think of atheists marrying in churches? Or people who do not have a certain belief following that cultures ceremonies anyway (such as Russell Brand and Katy Perry's 3 day Indian wedding)?


I as an atheist feel uncomfortable in churches and places of religious worship. I feel like I'm being rude being there, at lease when there are ceremonies or services taking place. I'm find walking around and looking at architecture or the like. You know, soaking up the history of the place. I've had discussions with my boyfriend and he wants to get married in a church even though neither of us is a believer. I feel like that would be completely wrong. I'm happy to have it in a hotel or something, but to use a church, a place of worship for people whose beliefs I don't share feels exceedingly rude.

What are everyone's opinions?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:00 pm


If my husband was very religious I would consider it. Same if his family was traditional and from another culture, if he was Indian I would consider having an Indian wedding. I just draw the line at converting to that religion.

If I married another Atheist or someone who didn't have strong beliefs, no church. I don't care how much my family would harass me.

Shiori Miko


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 1:17 pm


I didn't get married in a church, 'cause we eloped in Vegas. However, our vows did include God, because my husband is religious. I didn't mind it. And I would've gotten married in a church, if we hadn't done what we did.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 2:52 pm


One question:
Why would he want you to be married in a church?

Reglare Excile

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 4:49 am


-Saw atheist in the title and came running in a hurry 8D-
I hate being in churches for the same exact reason. I feel like I'm being rude purely by being in ANY a house of worship (church, mosques, temples, etc.) .
And you wanna talk about being a social outcast? You're the ONLY one in there that doesn't believe in their way and a single utterance of that could potentially be disastrous and ruin your credibility to the public around you, branding you a social outcast in everyone's eyes. gonk

I generally feel uncomfortable when people talk about them or mention them in any way. I don't know why, am I really that much of a bigot? gonk

I'd personally prefer a courthouse or an open scenic wedding outside with a judge as "MR FINGER BINDER" , but that's just me. xP

If you're that worried, you need to let him know right away! Don't hide your feelings and opinions from eachother! scream
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 5:13 am


I have no interest in being married in a church, but if the person I was marrying wanted to (and the church was okay with it), I'd go along with it for their sake. xp

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 6:20 pm


As a Catholic, I think that the idea of it's flat out... weird.. Really? Are you serious? It's not that it upsets me all that much, faith is what you make of it, but I have a hard time understanding why an Atheist would want to be married in a church. If one is an Atheist I don't think it's a problem to be in places of worship so long as you aren't there to/don't ridicule the religion. If you're there with family who are believers for the purpose of being with them, then I don't think it's a problem. I have Protestant relatives who have gone to mass with myself and my family, for special occasions. I've gone to their church as well for various reasons, but not because I believe in their religion.

I do think that Atheists shouldn't wed themselves in church, or other places of worship. It seems silly to do so when you don't believe in it. Like I said, I have a hard time imagining why one would do that given their own beliefs.
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 10:05 am


Reglare Excile
One question:
Why would he want you to be married in a church?


srsdelay on response, sorry. he wanted to be married in a church, in front of the God that he worships. since i'm not terribly opposed to organized religion or allergic to places of worship, i was cool with it.

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Divine_Malevolence

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:01 am


A church is just a building. Don't matter what your views are beyond your positioning on Sunday.
And, honestly, I ain't religious. But I still go there 'cause it's a place to play the flute.
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:07 pm


Divine_Malevolence
A church is just a building. Don't matter what your views are beyond your positioning on Sunday.
And, honestly, I ain't religious. But I still go there 'cause it's a place to play the flute.


i like this answer.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:56 pm


If I were to marry someone who was Christian and really wanted to be married in a church, I would try to compromise with them. I've always wanted an outdoor wedding at either an orchard or vineyard, with a non-religious ceremony. To me though, location really does not matter as long as religion doesn't come into the ceremony, because I don't want to be uncomfortable on my wedding day. I'm perfectly fine being in a church.
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 3:17 am


I'm myself don't really believe the whole thing of being married in a church just for bounding purposes if your not religious as well, nor do I understand it. Personally, I'm pagan. But from my point of view I guess it doesn't really matter where you get married as long as the place you do it at least holds some significance to you and your groom-to-be. As long as you two feel more connected as one with each other where-ever you get married I don't think it should matter. I would suggest maybe a place that both of you usually like to spend time together a lot at, like a usual park you go to, beech, hangout spot, or it could be a special friend's house, families yard, whatever. Just someplace you both feel like you more one together and want to make that feeling connected to that place more remember-able and meaningful. ^_^

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:37 pm


I'd say this:
The building doesn't matter (in fact, many churches are great pieces of architecture. Because they were built to be that)
The substance of the wedding does

If churches don't allow a more atheistic wedding (which is probably the case in most churches) then i wouldn't get married there... If marrying another atheist.
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:15 am


I think I may be a bit late on this, but anyway...
Well, for what I see, two non religious people marrying in a place of worship (a Catholic church; a Buddhist temple; the tombstone of Shar'u'bada, the one who will cleanse the masses at the time of sacrifice) is nothing more than a place they want to get married.

As several mentioned before, it's pretty much for the aesthetics and/or someplace special to the two in whatever way. Like how you mentioned your boyfriend wanting to marry in a church. He's not religious, so I'd say he wants to for the atmosphere, the architecture, and such.

Another thing to think about is a place of worship isn't really the building they're in. Rather, the buildings are a place that the people have set up their place of worship. Kinda like someone who sells their wares using a mobile stand. They've set up in that spot to do their work, but it's not necessarily always where they do so. Considering religious groups can make places of worship in parks, car garages... hey, even a bar could be used as a church, any place in the world could be thought of as a place of religion.
Even your house could be one!
Anyway, there's really no problem with two non religious people marrying in a place used for worship. They're just using a pretty building for their marriage ceremony.


However, while I think it's perfectly fine for two people to marry practically anywhere, I will say I'd be a bit against them using the religious customs and beliefs and such from a religion they did not follow. It'd be a bit.... odd and could perhaps even be viewed as a little insulting.
By this, I mean something like "We want to get married like they do in the matrimonial rituals of the [insert religion]. Huh? No, we aren't [followers of insert religion]. We wanna do it because it seems cool/different/exotic/weird, even though we don't believe in that stuff" or grabbing quotes out of a religious text to use for their vows and whatnot.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:15 am


hmmm interesting question.....I really have no opinion on this matter, to each his own I say, all I know is that I'ma get married on a beach at sunset.
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