Welcome to Gaia! ::

i have been diagnosed or however you spell it with depression. let me tell you its a struggle. this past valentines day, i got in my moms car which was in the garage. and i put the key in the ignition, i was just about to turn it when my mother found me. and it scares me that i came that close. but i have friends who have helped me since then. im getting betterish. i dont know why you feel this way personally but im always here to listen to someone's problems/feelings

that's not good. i know, there have been quite a few times that ive written a suicide note, when no one was home, so no one could stop me. but then i thought about getting to the pearly gates and seeing the looks of disappointment on my family members faces, especially my nana. and whereever i go i couldnt bear to know that i let her down. other times that i have thought of killing myself, I too am afarid that ill be sent somewhere, which might actually help, but i wouldnt be able to see my friends, and id have to admit to my family that ive tried to kill myself

well. i too am holding on for a girl, and as painful as it is to talk about it. i will to help you. we dated on again off again for three years. i cheated on her once. to this day i dont forgive myself for it. we were madly in love. we were actually going to be officially engaged the first time i ssaw her after her 18th birthday party which was dec 2. a little while ago she told me that she doesnt have feelings for me anymore. and that just made things worse. even if she wanted me back i cant b with her fully cuz im transgender, and i cant be the man she needs. but i too hold on to the past.

more people than you think would miss you. i've had this dream several times. its my funeral but hardly anyone is there. that got me thinking who would miss me. i dont really have alot of friends. my brother would only be there to make sure i was dead. taht really pushed me close to the deep end. but all my friends who have helped me through this have told me they would miss me. and i know my true friends would

i have trust issues because my whole life people have been mean to me...so when people say they would miss me i dont believe them and i have dreams like that all the time but usually its only focused around me and this girl i llike alot
its like i died and im watcing my funeral or im almost dead and im watching me in the hosspital and i keep hoping she is going to show up and she never does and so im alone with the ******** doctors or the priest who is burrying me...
and the problem is shes the only person i believe so it just pushes me further and further away from reality when i have these dreams crying emo

Hey yea, I'm there too... what with the bullying and garbage -_-
And my boyfriend left me, so that's nice.
But you know, definitely not a smart idea to off yourself. The Universe is an a**-hat, yes, but it's a generous a**-hat... after it's had it's fun, life gets better. Hell, it's probably because you've gone through so much s**t, and now you're ready for anything. And you'll always be missed if you go, there will always be someone that felt they were close to you. I hope it all gets better for you, maybe The Universe will lay up a little on us, eh?