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Dear T a e P a n d o,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new Sakura you saw in Coles-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left tooshie to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand kidnappings to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Justin Boobie, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Santa Claus in the arm for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!




Dear T a e P a n d o,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a scrumptious Xmas! I'm sure visions of boiled cow tongue-plums are already urinating in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your Pikachus with boughs of jelly? Have you spiked the churros with plenty of diarrhea? Have you chortle your thong by the chimney with care? Did you leave out banana and some rum for Santa and his reindeer?