|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:25 pm
 
This is a private roleplay between Sakngea [lungrot] and Xiu [Honeybii].
Setting:
Sakngea has holed himself up after devastating news and Xiu comes to make sure his friend is okay.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:57 pm
She's dead.
It was like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. At first, when he had heard the news, Sakn figured it was a joke. Sothy, dead? Impossible. She was eternal, she'd been the village priestess since before he was born. How could the corner stone of this little fishertown be gone? But it was true, and Sakn did his duties as any student would. He helped his mother clean her home and helped to wrap her in her robes. The redhead helped collect her belongs and when they buried her at sea, he stood at the bow of the boat and held back tears that burned like fire in his eyes.
You never know what you have until its gone.
After the funeral Sakngea spent the night locked in his room. He didn't eat, didn't talk and didn't sleep. Just sat there and hid and did the one thing he would never do in front of anyone. He cried. Sakn cried and cried until he couldn't any more, and then he slept.
Bopha let the boy sleep through the next day; didn't even ask him to do his chores. She could see the pain he was in, and knew best to leave her son to deal with it how ever he needed to. When she heard the screaming and the sound of glass shattering, she stood at the other side of his door. She listened and listened as her son paced his room.
He ranted, raved and pulled at his hair. Sakn begged and pleaded, hoping it was a joke. He swore to find who ever did this and kill him. He said a thousand and one things, but in the end, the boy never left his room.
It was the third day after her death when Bopha started to worry. All day there had been silence from her usually eccentric and exuberant son. She didn't dare knock on the door. And while she worried, Sakn sat with his knees tucked to his chest against the wall in his room. His eyes were sore and red, and his lip was raw from where he had chewed on it in frustration; his braids were undone and his hair was tangled and frizzy.
And all the boy could think was that it wasn't fair, and it wasn't right. Someone had killed her. Killed Sothy, who, despite her sharp tongue and frightening attitude, was not a threat. She was old and tired, too weak to be a part of the war. Yet someone had murdered her, just outside her home.
Someone had brought the city's war(as Sakn liked to think of it) to his home.
Someone was going to pay.
But for now the boy just hid, anger and rage and sadness twisting and churning in his stomach. Sakngea wasn't sure what to do, but he knew he wanted to be alone, and knew he was glad no one could see him like this. As much as it hurt to be so sad, it would hurt worse if someone was there to tell him it was okay.
Because, in Sakn's mind, this was not okay. If he had been stronger this wouldn't have happened. Sakn didn't care that the thought was illogical, didn't care that he had been asleep when she was killed. Didn't care because he was too angry, too ********>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:28 am
Word of Sothy’s death spread quickly through the noble community. At least as far as the priests were concerned. The old woman, though living in such a small beacon, was a person many looked up to. So when the new that she had been murdered in front of her home hit the Lotust Temple, there was much sorrow. Many of the monks prayed for her soul, giving offerings and burning incense so that he trip into the after life was made easy.
While Xiu participated in these prays, he was more worried about Sakn. It had been weeks since he’d last since the boy and that ill fated kiss seemed so far away that it almost didn’t seem real. However, Xiu was still hesitant about visiting Sakn not wanting to court his censure. Nearing the third day though, Xiu stuffed down in own insecurities and left on the long trek to Sakn’ village. Sakn was his friend after and he was sure that he was needed. Xiu couldn’t just ignore this.
The atmosphere of the village was much changed since the last time Xiu had visited. The somber air was eerie and he found himself bowing to people he passed, offering condolences. Sakn’s house seemed to have the worst of it. At least, that what it felt like. Xiu realized he may have been projecting.
“Miss Bopha? Xiu called, knocking on the front door. “Are you home? It’s Xiu.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:11 am
Sometimes the mind hears things; sometimes your thoughts play tricks on you. And for a moment, Sakn swore he heard someone call out in the house. The boys whole body stiffened as he recognized who it was. This had to be some illusion. Xiu wasn't here. Xiu was back in that city, at his temple. Happy and unaware of what was going on here.
Yet it was Xiu that he heard calling in the entrance of his house, and the redhead's stomach plummeted. Sakn didn't want anyone to know of the things he was feeling right now, nor did he want anyone to see him as he was. This was his pain, no one else's. So he did his best to look normal when he left. The boy rubbed his eyes, took a shaky breath and managed his hair into sloppy braids. But no matter how hard he tried, the boy would never be able to hide how exhausted, tried and miserable he was.
The death of his mentor, the lady who helped raise him; who yelled at him and taught him how to read. The priestess who led all the village traditions, who helped his mother when he was just a pearl; all this feeling accumulated and shattered the wall Sakn had built between himself and his emotions.
Sakn did not want to be so weak in front of anyone, and especially not Xiu. So when he saw the boy, his face went rigid, even though seeing his friend(because thats what they were, no matter what) made the redhead's heart race. It was so good to see that Xiu was well, and for a moment, Sakn almost felt himself relax.
But then, like a wave, the anger and frustration and everything came back and washed over him.
"Xiu," he said in a voice that gave evidence to his raw throat, barely above a whisper as he looked just past the monk boy's shoulder. Sakn couldn't(wouldn't) look at his friend when he was like this. After he spoke, the boy flexed his hands and clenched them into fists before adding preemptively, "I'm fine, you don't need to worry about anything," the fisherboy hoped this would get Xiu to leave. He just wanted to be alone. No one needed to deal with this beside himself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:30 am
For one blissful moment, Xiu was elated at the sight of Sakn. His friend was here and alive, but as he looked closer it was obvious that the redhead was not well. His braids had been sloppily done (he knew how much those braids meant!) and Sakn’s eyes were red rimmed. It even seemed like he’d gained a million more freckles because of his splotchy cheeks. Xiu wasn’t to say something. Anything. The words caught in his throat though and he gaped when Sakn spoke.
“Sakn I…” Xiu trailed off, biting his lip and wishing desperately that he knew the answer to making his friend’s grief go away. That was obviously not possible though. People grieved in their own ways and it appeared Sakn was faring for the worst. The past emotions associated with the kiss melted away from Xiu, leaving only the strong desire to help.
Xiu refused to leave though. He hesitated for a moment before his features hardened into determination.
“You’re not fine and I am worried about you.” Xiu replied softly, touching Sakn’s arm gently, resisting the urge to hug. “But that’s okay though, you know? It’s okay to cry Sakn. It’s okay.” Already he was nudging Sakn, trying to urge him back into the private area of the house. He wasn’t about to leave Sakn alone. Not any more.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:00 am
Sakn both hated and loved Xiu in that single moment when the other boy looked at him. There was no cheap pity, but a deep caring that shown in Xiu's eyes and when the boy's hand touched his arm, Sakn let it happen. He allowed that single, blissful moment to occur and then jerked away from the monk.
"I am perfec'ly fine," he strained, because the way Xiu reassured him, told him it was okay. The way the boys hand felt on his arm, it made the redhead want to cry. Made him was to break down again and just let it bleed out. But he wasn't going to do that, he wasn't going to humiliate himself in front of Xiu. Sakn kept telling himself that he wanted Xiu gone. Kept saying over and over in his mind:
Leave me alone.
So when Xiu nudged them towards the back of the house and inevitably his room, why didn't Sakn stop him? Yell and scream and push him away. It was because no matter how much he didn't want to be seen like this, there was a part of Sakn that needed his best friend here with him.
So even when they entered the grieving teens room, even when Sakn snapped, "Jus' leave me alone, Xiu. I don' need to cry!" it was obvious that he needed Xiu with him right now. "Jus' go home," Sakn muttered as he sat down on his futon, tilting his head back as his traitorous eyes watered threateningly. He wouldn't cry though, and the boy blinked back his tears before leaning back against the wall.
But no matter how hard Sakn tried, the tears continued to well and finally they rolled down his cheeks as he cried. It was silent, no sobbing or sniffling, and after a moment, the redhead's eyes met Xiu's and his face, which had remained neutral crumpled and he barely managed to say, "Xiu," in the most hurt, exhausted voice.
He was so confused.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:10 am
Xiu refused to relent. Even though he was scared and worried and feeling a million other things, he continued on. It was amazing that Sakn allowed himself to be herded into his bedroom. It made Xiu realize the boy really need someone. Rather it was him or Bopha or whoever, Sakn needed someone. And by the smell of the stale air of the room, Sakn needed relief badly.
He eased himself down, folding his legs beneath him once Sakn sat, simply watching his friend worriedly. He didn’t know if hugs were off limits now, that day still floating up in the back of his head. Sakn had allowed a friendly touch though so Xiu hoped more would be received. He wanted though, waiting to see what Sakn would do.
Again he refused to listen to Sakn’s orders to leave. Heck, he didn’t even respond, merely sitting quietly and waiting. Finally, when the tears came, it was a small relief. His friend, his strong, powerful Sakn was broken with so much emotion that it made Xiu’s heart ache.
“Oh, Sakn.” Xiu echoed, tentatively reaching out to touch the male’s, feeling the wetness of those tears. He didn’t say anything more, merely leaning up so that he could pull the redhead into a kind of awkward half hug. Things may not be alright now, but they would be soon. He was sure of it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 2:41 am
Sakn fliched slightly when Xiu's hands touched his cheeks, but the touch was soothing, and even though he was still crying, for some reason, it felt like each tear eased the pain. So when Xiu hugged him, no matter how awkward it was, Sakn didn't give it a second thought. He just let loose a moaning sob and leaned against the smaller boy. He buried his blotched and sopping face in Xiu's shoulder and let more cries escape his lips.
And those cries soon because curses and angry words and Sakn's hoarse voice cracked as he cried, "I's nawt fair, Xiu.She didn' do nuthin'. It ain't fair!" He then snaked his arms around the body back, holding him as if Xiu was the only thing keeping him alive until he didn't feel angry or sad or anything.
It was when he felt tired and numb that the taller teen let his friend go and flopped back against the wall. And it was when he let go that Sakn finally really looked at Xiu. His sore, dry green eyes flickered side to side as he took in Xiu's appearance. Everything about the boy soothed Sakngea's tired heart, but it was his eyes that the boy finally landed on.
Those intense blue-green eyes that were always so happy. Sakn felt his lips curl into a frown because those eyes were worried now, and he hated that look on Xiu. He wanted to see Xiu smiling, because that always made things right.
Now it was the redheads turn to reach out, and he gently placed his hand on top of Xiu's head before sliding down to cup his cheek. "I'm okay," he said softly, before giving a weak watery smile. He wasn't sad, and his anger was subsided. Simply put, he felt blissfully numb. This was because all Sakn wanted right now was the comfort Xiu had to offer. It was almost frightening how much better he felt when he saw the boy, and how much his heart twisted when Sakn held the boys face in his hand. "Jus'...I'm okay, okay?"
He stared at the monk then, his breath now shallow and slow, and waited. He wasn't sure what it was he was waiting for, but Sakn could tell that this was okay tonight. Him and Xiu, here like this. It was alright, if only for this one evening.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:27 pm
Xiu hated seeing Sakn so lost and upset. He didn’t except the sudden contact or the dam of tears the suddenly burst from his friend. Xiu readily hugged Sakn back though and just as tightly. He murmured soothing words as he felt tears staining his shirt. If this had been any other time, Xiu would have felt flustered and embarrassed. Not now though. Sakn needed him and it was time for petty feelings to get in the way of things.
“I know Sakn.” Xiu agreed softly, fingers gently combing through Sakn’s frazzled red hair. He finally dropped a hand to Sakn’s back, running it up and down the strong column in a soothing motion. Xiu didn’t know what to do so he just let Sakn crying, aching the entire time. Tears pricked his own vision, but he refused to cry himself. That would only upset Sakn further, he was sure of it.
He thanked the gods when Sakn’s tears abated and sighed in sheer relief. The tears were done. That was always the hardest part about death. Crying always made things more real. But Sakn was done so hopefully that would kick start the grieving process that Xiu knew was vital.
Staring at Sakn’s green eyes, he tried to smile but knew it fell flat, even when he got the pat on the head. “Yeah?” He asked, humming quietly when that warm hand cupped his cheek. He leaned into it, enjoying the feeling as he raised his own hand to lay it atop Sakn’s.
“I’m so, so sorry Sakn. For everything.” Xiu blurted, the tender moment reminding him of too many things as he stared at Sakn, face flush and earnest. He needed to know that Sakn still…wanted him around after Sothy's death wore off.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 10:02 pm
The boys' face was warm against his hand, and while the rest of Sakn's body shook with exhaustion(the result of crying so hard, it would seem), his hand was steady. And when Xiu leaned into the touch, Sakn's face flushed; his heart raced and all he could do was stare into those understanding eyes.
And what the redhead saw there sent a ripple through the boys thoughts. As he looked at Xiu and felt the warmth of him, alive and breathing, so close, Sakn realized something. He realized that he cared deeply for the boy, and perhaps that caring was deeper then he had expected. With all his walls down, Sakn could see something in Xiu that he had ignored before. Something that wasn't exactly physical, though it wasn't exactly mental either. It was a mix, and in the end, what Sakn saw in his friend made him think that perhaps Xiu was more then a friend to him.
Which was why, when Xiu spoke again, that Sakngea looked startled. Xiu was apologizing. Did that mean he didn't want to have those feelings he had just a few weeks before? Was the boy taking back what he had laid out on the table? The redhead's eyes flickered over Xiu's face, trying to read something there that could answer his questions.
But it wasn't Xiu's face that answered his question, but the hand that was resting over his own. The boy let his eyes fall onto that hand, and then stroked Xiu's cheek with his thumb. It was awkward, girly and his thumb wasn't the smoothest digit in the world, but at this moment Sakn didn't really care.
He just wanted Xiu to know it was okay.
"Please don' be sorry," the redhead spoke in his unusually hushed tone, his eyes meeting Xiu's once again. He stared at the boy before cupping that boyish face in both hands and pulling Xiu closer to him(it was easy to do, since his friend weighed next to nothing in Sakn's mind) before pressing his forehead against the smaller boys. Sakn could feel Xiu's breath wash over his face this close, and the feeling sent strange tingles down Sakn's spine, and he couldn't stop that little smile that curled on his lips. "I's okay," he said in a whisper, as if he was afraid someone might hear them.
"Don' be sorry."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:05 pm
Xiu’s breath hitched and he froze. The feeling of that calloused thumb against his cheek was bliss and he held back a sign. He’d been thinking about Sakngea a lot since their fight and realized that…yes, he truly was interested in his friend than in a purely friendly manner. He hadn’t known how to fix things, but now Sakn was touching him, obviously not repulsed. Xiu hope was renewed and he almost started crying right then. He knew he was being selfish, thinking about these kinds of things when some had died, but he couldn’t help it.
Forgetting everything that was manly and correct, Xiu leaned a little closer to Sakn.
He didn’t know what he was doing exactly, but Sakn’s face was so close to his own and he could feel soft puffs of air against his face. Sakn’s forehead felt like it was blazing hot against his own and Xiu’s lips were parting as if in expectation. The moment was so intimate, so not Sakn, that Xiu doubted for a moment. But then Sakn was smiling and something in Xiu eased and he smiled back.
“Alright. I won’t be sorry then.” He replied just as softly, just before he pressed his mouth against Sakn’s in an unbearably soft kiss. It wasn’t fast like the first time, but slow and kind of tentative. Xiu hoped he wasn’t about to get punched.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:27 pm
Sakn's smile grew as the boy spoke, and he opened his mouth to respond, but was stopped by the softest of touches. It was a kiss. The lightest, most gentle kiss Sakn had ever received. At first, the redhead's mind reeled and his first thought was to push Xiu away. It would always be strange to be kissed(and vice versa), but the boy's hands, which had dropped into his lap seconds before now rose, only to rest lightly on Xiu's shoulders.
This was not the time to deny this. Tonight, Sakn wouldn't ignore what he felt. Instead, the redhead leaned his body in, lips pressing against Xiu's as he returned the kiss. And when he did so, it was like someone had flipped a switch in his head. suddenly all the fisherboy's nerves were on fire, and he craved that touch. Sakn drank up the feeling as the kiss lingered, and when they pulled apart his lips were parted in a mixture of shock and awe.
"Xiu," he spoke softly, hands gently tightening on the boys shoulder. But he didn't say any moer, just looked at the boy and felt a rush of feeling that made him realize what he had to do now. And what it was he had to do hurt Sakn, because he knew he couldn't stay here.
"Xiu," Sakngea whispered again, leaning in to kiss the boys cheek softly before pressing a kiss against those boyish lips. He kissed the boy and more tears welled in his eyes, because he couldn't stay here. He had to find that man, had to kill him. Had to be strong enough to protect those he loved.
Strong enough to protect this.
The boys hands slid up into Xiu's hair, and he combed it gently with his fingers as he memorized the boys lips, nose and cheeks with rough-lipped kisses, kissed him with a passion he had never felt before. Tonight would be their night, but tomorrow he would leave. Sakn hoped Xiu would understand.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:09 am
Xiu gasped, not expecting his kiss to be returned. His eyes were round and dazed when Sakn pulled back. He could feel his face beginning to flush and his heart was pounding madly. This was more than he’d every expected. When Sakn whispered his name, it sent the most wonderful thrill through him and he had to stop himself for shuddering. He’d being thinking about this kiss over and over again and Xiu had to admit that the real thing was better.
“Sakn?” Xiu asked softly, seeing a strange look in his friend’s green eyes. He was going to ask about it, but then Sakn was touching him and kissing his face until Xiu head was spinning from the gentle touches. He was supposed to say something, anything, but all he could do was twine his arms around Sakn’s neck and kiss him back just as fiercely.
While he pressed as close to Sakn as he could get, Xiu felt an emotion rise to the fore, an emotion he’d never felt before. He didn’t examine it too closely, but he knew that he never wanted to let Sakn go. He always wanted to in the boys’ arms, just like this.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:35 am
Sakn could feel Xiu's heart thumping in that scrawny little chest of his, and the taller boy let the boy cling to him; his own arms wrapped loosely around Xiu as time slowed down. He memorized everything there was around them in that moment. Memorized those feelings, that moment in his mind for forever and a day. Then the redhead ran his hands through Xiu's hair again, before giving him another lingering kiss.
"Xiu," the redhead spoke softly as he moved to lay on the futon, hands guiding the other boy down beside him. "Will y'stay here?" it was a cruel thing to ask, even though Xiu didn't know yet how cruel it was. But Sakn needed him, and he hoped Xiu would understand in the morning. Hoped that he didn't ruin everything. He ran a hand across the other boy's cheek as he spoke, watching those green-blue eyes anxiously.
There was a moment of silence, and Sakn added, quickly, "Y'don' gotta though, I mean."
He didn't want to sound needy or anything.
Even if that's all the redhead wanted to be tonight. Xiu had opened a part of him that the boy had never truly experienced before. He was feeling so many things in this single moment; more things then he had felt before. Mixed with the ache in his heart from Sothy's death and what would come in the morning, it left Sakn high and dazed. His hands snagged Xiu's robes and he pulled the boy so close that he could once again feel that heart racing.
"Y'know tha'I'd neva' try to hurt you, right?" the question was random, pointless, because he was going to hurt Xiu. Sakn knew he was. Leaving tomorrow would hurt more then any other wound could. So, before Xiu could question it, Sakn kissed him fiercely, kissed him until he felt dizzy and light-headed, then repeated, "Stay?"
Please, stay.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:48 am
Ignorance was bliss in this case and Xiu was floating on a cloud of it. He submitted to Sakn’s kisses, loving every minute of it. He balked for a moment when Sakn laid down on the futon, but he was so readily following, allowing Sakn to pull him down. Xiu was trying not to blush and giggle like a stupid girl but he had a feeling he’d fail soon. Being so close to Sakn like this was just so wonderful! Xiu had never felt like this and it was new and exciting. He was glad he was experiencing this with Sakn. Hopefully it would always be like this.
“Of course I’ll stay with you Sakn.” Xiu smiled, his eyes lighting up at being asked anyways. He snuggled with Sakn then, wiggling close so he could feel all of Sakn. He was feeling so fuzzy and warm inside that he couldn’t help but smile secretly to himself again as Sakn’s scent enveloped him. The scent of the ocean was mixed it with all the normal smells and Xiu didn’t think he’d be able to ever see the ocean again without thinking of Sakn.
“What? I know that Sakn. We’re f-friends and I lo--” He was unable to say more as he was kissed breathless, his blood pumping hot through his veins as Sakn devoured his mouth. “I’ll always stay.” Xiu panted, giving into the wonderful kisses as he clung sweetly to Sakn.
Even when the kisses slowed and they just lay there together, Xiu never let Sakn go. Even as he started to drift off to sleep, he was pressed close to the redhead, refusing to be parted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
