|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:46 am
..Moving in together?
I've been looking into moving out of my parent's place again since I've gotten a new job, have now saved up a bit of money and such. Also I just don't think I can stand to be around my folks anymore lol.
Originally I was considering having a roommate, but frankly none of my friends are really reliable enough / easy to live with. I happen to know my girlfriend is looking into getting her own place soon too, with a similar situation in regards to roommates.
So, lately I've been giving moving into a place together a lot of thought. I see her as very reliable, and I think decoratively we'd have simlilar tastes in our apartment set up. We've only been going out a few months now, but we seem very compatible so far. I've never officially lived with a girlfriend before, but I think it's about time I gave something like that a shot.
I've been thinking about us getting a two bedroom, so we can still have our space when need be and also a guest bedroom. I guess the biggest thing is I don't want to freak her out by talking to her about something like this if it's somewhat too soon. I dunno, any advice on the topic folks?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:04 am
this would be my reaction if a boyfriend suggested something like that after anything less than 2 years:
rofl eek neutral burning_eyes gonk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:06 am
You seriously may want to consider getting your own separate places first.
If you break up, and are stuck in a year long lease...well that would suck. Even with separate bedrooms available, being stuck with your ex isn't pleasant. I had a friend that went through this.
Learn to live alone or at least with a roommate before moving in with your SO.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:04 am
Well I'm definitely familiar with living on my own... And with several roommates, which is why I know none of my current friends would be very compatible roommates with me, and those that I would, I just know to be somewhat unreliable in other regards or just currently aren't looking to move.
But yeah, I gather this is a really early to be doing. Mostly I guess I wanna know what a good way of getting her thoughts on how long before she'd be ready for something like that, without implying too much like that is what I wanna do? I think most women would have Lydia's reaction, but I'm sure there are lots of women who would be a little more open to the idea too.
I definitely can afford to get my own place, but it'd certianly be helpful to save a bit splitting rent somewhere. Also if we did break up I'm quite sure one of us would move out and the other would just get a roommate. Like I say none of my friends would be great for roomies at the moment, but I could certianly put up with one for the remainder of the lease if I had to.
I dunno, it's all just thoughts at the moment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:53 am
I would probably freak out if we'd been together less than two years. Maybe a year and a half. That would be scaaaaaary.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:58 am
It's probably a good idea to start gradually staying over there more and more often as opposed to doing it all at once, you know what I mean?
As for me I wouldn't have much of a problem with it after 4-6 months or so depending, but I'm also pretty easygoing, so that makes a difference.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:03 am
Maybe just hint at it.
Ask her to help you find a place, the kind of place she'd want. It really all depends on your relationship and how you react to one another, but I think breaking up is an important factor in whether or not you should do it. Maybe just get an apartment or studio for yourself now, or hold out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:17 am
Regore Also if we did break up I'm quite sure one of us would move out and the other would just get a roommate. Like I say none of my friends would be great for roomies at the moment, but I could certianly put up with one for the remainder of the lease if I had to.
I really don't think this would work. It really wouldn't be pleasant trying to figure out who gets the apartment, and who has to move. Plus, if no where nearby is renting or starting leases at the time, it would be really difficult for someone to move out.
I definitely understand where you're coming from, but I think that moving in together after only a few months is a risky move. Also obviously I don't know your relationship, but it honestly might be easiest just to ask her how she might feel about moving in with you someday. But make sure to emphasize 'someday' so it doesn't seem like you want her to move in with you RIGHT NOW, especially if it's something she would be uncomfortable with.
But if you think it would be best, Necca's idea is a good one; ask her to help you find a place for yourself. That would be a good excuse to talk to her about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:29 am
I just wanna say I love you ladies mrgreen
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:38 pm
It depends on how well you get along. Cobina and I haven't known each other all that long but we get along so well that I moved in with her. THEN AGAIN MAYBE IN SIX MONTHS I WILL GO "OH GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING"
But so far everything seems awesome.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:16 pm
Listen Broseph, just go like.
"Hey, I was planning on moving out of this place, maybe grabbing a roomie or something, but I thought it'd be cool to see if you wanted to come with before asking someone else."
Then it's not like OH GOD HEY WE SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER while at the same time showing that you are not against the idea should she want that now or at a later time.
Plus if she's one of those ladies who might go OH NOEZ HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT ON HIS OWN I SHOULD HELP BUT I DON'T WANT TO MOVE IN BUT I FEEL BAD you got it covered by also mentioning you had some other people you could ask, you just thought of her before everyone else.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:26 pm
It really depends on the two of YOU. What other people say isn't necessarily going to be the same for the two of you. It depend on how comfortable you are with each other and how you feel toward one another. You need to talk to her about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:49 pm
Felin Greenleaf Listen Broseph, just go like. "Hey, I was planning on moving out of this place, maybe grabbing a roomie or something, but I thought it'd be cool to see if you wanted to come with before asking someone else." Then it's not like OH GOD HEY WE SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER while at the same time showing that you are not against the idea should she want that now or at a later time. Plus if she's one of those ladies who might go OH NOEZ HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT ON HIS OWN I SHOULD HELP BUT I DON'T WANT TO MOVE IN BUT I FEEL BAD you got it covered by also mentioning you had some other people you could ask, you just thought of her before everyone else. I think this is solid advice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:53 pm
Felin Greenleaf Listen Broseph, just go like. "Hey, I was planning on moving out of this place, maybe grabbing a roomie or something, but I thought it'd be cool to see if you wanted to come with before asking someone else." Then it's not like OH GOD HEY WE SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER while at the same time showing that you are not against the idea should she want that now or at a later time. Plus if she's one of those ladies who might go OH NOEZ HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT ON HIS OWN I SHOULD HELP BUT I DON'T WANT TO MOVE IN BUT I FEEL BAD you got it covered by also mentioning you had some other people you could ask, you just thought of her before everyone else. I agree with this too. The more easygoing/casual/nonchalant you are about it, the more comfortable she'll probably feel, as opposed to you making this huge serious deal out of it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:52 pm
Felin Greenleaf Listen Broseph, just go like. "Hey, I was planning on moving out of this place, maybe grabbing a roomie or something, but I thought it'd be cool to see if you wanted to come with before asking someone else." Then it's not like OH GOD HEY WE SHOULD MOVE IN TOGETHER while at the same time showing that you are not against the idea should she want that now or at a later time. Plus if she's one of those ladies who might go OH NOEZ HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT ON HIS OWN I SHOULD HELP BUT I DON'T WANT TO MOVE IN BUT I FEEL BAD you got it covered by also mentioning you had some other people you could ask, you just thought of her before everyone else. I agree with this too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
