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[Q] Quinn the Gravorum [READY] .looking for crit. Goto Page: 1 2 3 [>] [»|]

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bobaTJ

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:15 pm


AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM

User ImageName: Quinn
Nicknames: ...
Gender: Female(?)
Age: Unknown, appears to be in mid-to-late teens

Faction/Race Monster / Gravorum*

Personality: Quinn doesn't like you. You're one of those people, and those people made her go to a school where she has weird wobbly legs. She was perfectly happy before, you know, and she doesn't need you. Maybe if you do something good for her. Maybe if you prove you're not one of them. She doesn't like those people.

Yes, Quinn is a fairly untrusting beastie. She has only known one person closely, and where she has her father, everyone else is a stranger. Every species, every race, every person is a possible danger to her and while she doesn't necessarily fear them, she most assuredly does not like them.

Her voice is a deep, gravelly rumble built either from misuse or nature, and Quinn proves to be a very hard-to-read little ghoul as she often chooses to speak in growls or hisses. This is the same reason she may come off as unintelligent and entirely bestial, but that is far from the truth. Quinn is just as intelligent as any ghoul her age, just as literate and just as deeply-thinking. She does have a certain wariness toward people who try to befriend her, though. It is in a Gravorum's nature to think of everything as food or a threat to their existence, as their snacking habits make them definitively unpopular. Those honestly trying to be kind, whether they be peers or superiors, will likely be met with suspicion and perhaps a bit of long-distance surveillance. It will take a bit of effort to befriend Quinn and gain her trust, even if one's intentions are good.

Unfortunately, school is not Quinn's top priority. She is bestial in the sense that survival rules above pleasure and education. Her one true love is eating; eating the living or dead, wood and plastic, jewelry and your left leg... anything she can get her hands on. The poor child is never full, and you certainly smell delicious. People within a reasonable distance might find themselves sniffed, snuffled, and tested for tenderness with creepy fingers. The chances of her actually trying to snack on a person are low, even if only because her father says she shouldn't, and it might get her kicked out of school. Perfumes, colognes, and lotions are more likely to exempt you from snacking, as they smell gross and taste funny.

The only thing that can truly be called a hobby other than gorging herself is exploration. Considering how little Quinn has seen about the world, she would like to see so much more, but is a bit afraid to travel on her own. Her lack of socialization aside, Quinn has almost never been without her father. The idea of embarking out in this big world on her own is somewhat terrifying. Regardless, she will content herself with closer adventures until companions are found by exploring the heating ducts and trying to break in to various locked rooms.

Considering the ghoul was raised without any expectations when it came to gender, she can't be expected to wear pretty dresses and join the fearleading squad, and may in fact tend toward bruteball and more 'masculine' activities such as wrestling and track. Of course, her gender seemed to be one she developed into, rather than one she was born with, and it can be debated whether she has one at all.

Socialization is unfortunately required in school, though, and Quinn makes an effort to not hate everyone and everything. She will bond with others in the lunch rooms and definitely in her prospective clubs. Some effort will be made, but mostly? Mostly her classmates are all delicious, delicious teases.

Past: What would you do if a demonic half-snake was screaming and hissing at you while trying to bite your ankles out? Well, apparently werewolf Balthier Greenwood would be endeared and try to take it home. To him, Quinn was like a wounded kitten in need of care. The little Gravorum had been kicked a bit for trying to partake of a delicious teenager, and was bruised and sickly for a while before trying to chew her way through a door. It was this first act of health that brought her her species name, and by then she had long bonded with her caretaker. Disregarding her appetite and strange urges, Quinn was raised relatively normally, if home-schooled and sheltered, for the adopted monster son of a monster. She was too much of a handful to find other odd beasties to adopt, though, and so Quinn lacked any sibling relationships.

Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Frankly, it wasn't Quinn's choice. Her father decided that it was time for some socialization after watching her behavior with a few of his friends. His intentions are good, but Quinn doesn't much appreciate the gesture. She does it for him, though, for respect and love, and follows his advice and schedules no matter how grudgingly. The goal of this schooling is not so much to be scary (Quinn's got that covered) so much as to learn self-control and how to properly react in social situations or protect oneself.

Interested in:
Not much, will take what is scheduled (in theory)
Possible founder of a food club- Grub Club?

Natural Form: Thank ghoul for magic clips! Quinn has six arms, used for locomotion much more than her stumpy, snake-like tail, the latter blotched abnormally for "spots". She has a pig-like nose and a long, bony torso often covered in dirt and filth, and her cheek-to-cheek mouth is lipless and can open disturbingly wide for chewing the largest of furniture. Granted, size isn't really an issue as Quinn is only barely grown at 6 feet raised on her tail.

Natural Ability: Iron stomach-- Whether it be corrosive acid, wood or stone, Quinn can stomach it. In fact, there's a question as to Gravorum even having conventional stomachs, as opposed to giant swirling pits of emptiness and woe. If it fits in her mouth, she can (and probably will try to) consume it.

FEAR: THIS. IS. SALIVAAAAAA!-- Quinn's bile is an acidic, corrosive material produced naturally in her body. This is the stuff of nightmares, digesting everything from food proteins to solid metal platters, and it is black as pitch. Yes, the child throws away her clip and arches up on her six arms to projectile vomit bile at her opponent. Initially the burst will not go far or be particularly dangerous, but acidity can be worked on! Unfortunately, it's likely that a lower pH means some damage done to Quinn's mouthparts.

Physical Description:
Eye Colour: Wide and bright, unnatural green
Hair Colour/Style: Long, limp, stringy and deep purple
Skin Colour: Dark grey
Clothing Style/Colours: What, there are no Amityville Academy uniforms? Oh well, we'll just buy her some nice dresses and pleated skirts! Quinn hates you.
Extra: Quinn has a third eye in the center of her forehead, although she is no more psychic for it, and her mouth is full of wild, jagged teeth giving her lips a full appearance (when she decides to close them). Her pronounced, hairless brows, her unusual height and thinness, and her worm-like tongue make for a very unattractive child. She retains only 2, and loses her tail in the form of awkward legs.
References: see next post

*original race

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:17 pm


References

User ImageUser ImageUser ImageUser ImageUser ImageUser ImageUser ImageUser ImageUser Image

Quinn is based off of the race of an old character, Bas (seen above).



Gravorum
User Image





'Gravorum' is a term derived from the Swedish words 'grav' and 'orm', translating officially to
'grave-snake' but often misunderstood as 'grave-worm'

Gravorum are creatures rarely seen outside of their tunnels. Their bestial nature and unfortunate
appetites don't really make for good socialization. Of course, Gravorum never see each other,
either. Where they come from is unknown, whether it be a child's nightmare or the usual
pumpkin, but they awaken alone underground and develop on the dirt until finding better food. In
the human realm, they tend to live beneath cemeteries or homes, causing sinkage of graves and
foundations with their burrowing. They will generally not emerge unless their health is
at risk, and considering that they are solitary night-scavengers, that is not often at all. Granted,
they may wander into a human's home or a morgue through basements and grates to find
what is left behind to consume before their caretakers arrive.

These creatures are insatiable as well, always finding themselves hungry no matter how much
they eat, and they do eat. If you misplace a glass outside and find it gone, a Gravorum may
have made a snack out of it. The same goes for your deceased loved ones and small fuzzy
animals. Gravorum are indiscriminate and would delight in chewing on you if you
weren't so loud and fast, and depend mostly on corpses and their accessories,
having deviated toward random bric-a-brac only in modern times due to the practice of
very serious embalming. Their species names seemed to come from a time long ago when
the creatures lived solely beneath graves, tilting headstones and causing the deceased (and
often their belongings) to go missing.

Physically, Gravorum tend to all look the same; dark in color and altogether grimy and
grotesque. Why bother looking pretty when people only run or throw things? In the human
realm they don't tend to have names except locally, other than maybe "oh sweet jesus what is
that thing". When it comes to Halloween, it's possible that there is only the one Gravorum,
born from the nightmares of an unfortunate human witness.

art by Tandemonium
design by Rabid Ice Weasel

bobaTJ


bobaTJ

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:18 pm


Status: READY and seeking crit



Q: If she hates everyone, why will she ever associate?
Laiha doesn't hate everyone, she's just suspicious. You would be too if everyone wanted to stick a stake in your head. The hope is that she will be brought out of her shell in time as well. Friends means more socializing!

Q: Where does her hatred of people come from?
Nature, mostly. Gravorum are born lacking a sort of humanity and tend to see everything that moves as food. Laiha was raised quite a bit more humanely than alone in a tunnel, so while she can speak and interact, nature sticks to her. Also, because her father never forced her, she's never really spent time with other people outside of him (and the strangers at the grocery store).

Q: Does she ever really snack on people?
It could happen.

Q: Why doesn't she go looking for other Gravorum?
There tentatively are none, and she wouldn't know where to begin looking!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:45 pm


((Sayid wants to know where she is bunking so that he can avoid her at all costs))

She looks pretty awesome and like a lot of fun, so the only crit that comes to mind is the standard one when dealing with any highly antisocial character, which is to wonder what drives her to repeat dealings with other characters than her adopted father. Is her social recalcitrance something you're thinking of changing over time, or is she going to be forever standoffish?

She sounds like an very fun, crazy character though. biggrin

Ryuthulhu

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bobaTJ

PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:37 pm


Thanks! Added to the FAQ! 83 <3
PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:29 pm


Name changed from Laiha (skinny) to Ahmatti (glutton) due to an online translator failing me.

Screw it, I like "Laiha" better. xD

bobaTJ


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:09 pm


First of all Ireallylovelaiha'sdesign. <3

On to the actual critique:

I love the personality, just the way it was written. It gives it a personal vibe, ah lurv it.
"and where she is his father everyone" reads weird to me? It might just be me, but I had to read it a couple of times to get what you meant by that.
"an lotions are more likely to exempt" And, you mean? 8D

Overall I like the personality in general. The bestial thing tickles me to death, I like seeing charries like that thrown into places like school.

On the history, Balthier, how have you lived so long adopting weird snake things who try to eat your angles? Ahem. Short and sweet, I like it. I kind of want to know if Balthier ONLY adopted Laiha, or if he has other weird monster adoptees at home. But that might be straying from Laiha, and this is Laiha's crit. 8] So!

"She does it form him" For!

I love her Natural Ability and her FEAR, very fitting given what she is. Saliva is an awesomely gross FEAR to wield, kudos. XD



FREAKING LOVE HER DESIGN GDI.

Brit plans on staying far, far away. -3-
PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:02 pm


This is not the unicorn I promised! Well it's still Jay, just on the other account~

First off, can I just say the design/idea, regardless of its dfkjdslkfnsGETITAWAYFROMMEOHGOD-ness, is both fitting and cool? 8D

Hum . . . It's hard for me to find something to crit since Laiha seems pretty fleshed out. Maybe it's just my midnight brain being druggy, but I'm not sure where her distaste for others comes from: is it only because she views them as possible dangers, or are there other factors? Like if something had happened to her shortly after being "brought to life" in Halloween. Oooor was she simply born that way due to a Devourer's nature of (literally) eat or be eaten?

Otherwise, just some a couple of prompt questions: d=Does Laiha have any hobby besides eating and contemplating the walking snacks about her? She might be pretty scary on her own, but does she have any sort of fear or wariness towards certain things/species?

Malak would totally join a Grub Club. 8D FEEEEEEWD.

I appreciate the crit you dropped for Winona, and I'll hop on answering tomorrow! <3 I wish I could be as thorough in my response for Laiha, but for the most part she looks pretty solid to me. ^^;

Mediciner



Masshiro


King Bunny

PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:45 pm


That is the freakiest this I have ever seen.
I totally love her. XD I just wanna take her home and smoosh her! >w<

I can't find anything to really crit on. She's pretty much a complete package.

Out of my own curiosity, I will ask; how do you think she'd do around Claire? (The new Gluttony student) Do you think they'd get along due to -somewhat- common interests, or do you think she'd spend more time sizing her up?
PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:26 am


Masshiro
That is the freakiest this I have ever seen.
I totally love her. XD I just wanna take her home and smoosh her! >w<

I can't find anything to really crit on. She's pretty much a complete package.

Out of my own curiosity, I will ask; how do you think she'd do around Claire? (The new Gluttony student) Do you think they'd get along due to -somewhat- common interests, or do you think she'd spend more time sizing her up?

I personally think Claire is the most likely candidate for friendship. xD

bobaTJ


bobaTJ

PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:46 am


Alright! Added some things in the FAQ and some more to her personality. Thanks so much for the crit! :3
PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:55 pm


She's pretty cool, in a shudder creepy sort of way. I'm kinda curious about the guy that adopted her, what sort of stuff he went through raising her, and how it shaped her to be so loyal to him.

I know it's probably a tiny thing, easily explained by her love of her father, but she seems to really not want to be at the school, and REALLY wants to eat some students, so why wouldn't she just like...'oops, I "slipped" and ate a student" and get herself expelled? I mean, I love my parents, and I did things because they wanted me to, but there's always that streak that kids have that make them disobey, regardless of how much they want to please their parents.

There's a few (really neat!) refs of her natural form, but other than "there are two wobbly legs" I'm having a bit of trouble picturing her form with the magic clips.

Does she ever have any desire to seek out and find other Devourers? Or to know more about her own species? And does any of the adopted by another monster stuff bother her/contribute to her behavior?

Imbri


Manda

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:04 pm


I really like her! Her personality is long and very nicely detailed, and Grub Club sounds like fun lol. Uuhm, I'm also kind of curious about the 'oops I slipped' thing, like Imbri.

And also, would she be likely to maybe try and sneak off into the human world a time or two for 'snacks'? In general, would she be more likely to follow school rules or break them?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:59 pm


Following them to their barest skeleton, probably. She'd consider eating a human but isn't particularly interested in them beyond everything else she can eat :3

As for "accidentally" eating other students, she wouldn't really consider it unless they bothered her quite a great deal. Her nature is beastly and animalistic, but she HAS been brought up to know that eating people is bad.

bobaTJ


bobaTJ

PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:58 pm


Get on the front page, you
Reply
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