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ok well i have a bf...and he does weed he buys them from a dude at gymnastics....and he said he doesnt do it anymore....but i not sure if he is telling the truth.....and i dont know if does it or not... and when i kiss him i dont want to get a dieases form that...any advice for me?


i need advice....any advice..help! thanks...

Relationships are largely about trust, as well as communication. If you can't trust your partner to tell the truth when he says he is doing/not doing something, then you're likely to run into problems during your relationship.

If him smoking weed bothers you, sit him down and talk to him about it. Ask him to come clean and tell the truth. If he says he's not, great. If he says he is, then you two can deal with it and take it from there.

On a side note, if he says he's not doing weed, you can tell him you're happy - but that if you ever find out he's lying, you'll leave him. People who lie and break their word to you show that they are not demonstrating respect for you, and that they don't have the courage to even tell you the truth. Would you really want to date someone who lies to you, or someome whom you can't trust?

1) Light blue font on a white background is very hard to see. Please choose a more visible color next time. Thank you smile

2) You will not catch a disease from kissing someone who smokes weed (at least not from the weed). That is something you do not need to worry about.

3) A correction to Undying Sorrow:
Weed DOES have some permanent effects. These effects are just rather subtle. Research is still fairly limited, but we've already found that THC targets the hippocampus (the part of the brain that affects short term to long term memory conversion -- chronic smokers often have very poor memories). And this assuming that ALL you are smoking is the weed without any additives. Rare is the person able to find weed that isn't laced with all kinds of disgusting things.

4) Trust
As Niko said, a relation without trust will not be a relationship for long (or at least not a happy one). If you are in a relationship, you need to trust until proven wrong. Once proven wrong, you need to decide if you can ever trust that person again. If not, best to end it quickly.

5) Drug Problems
I had to deal with this myself. Both my grandmothers and my nanny smoked cigarettes. My mother's mother died in her early 40s from lung cancer (yeah, you know that bullshit people will tell you about how it will kill you later in live? Turns out it depends on the individual and you don't know which kind of individual you are until it's too late). I never knew her. My mother, who had a fairly turbulant relationship with her mother in her teens, never got to make peace. She still carries that baggage around with her.

One of my very first memories was being about five or six years old and looking into a coffin at my nanny, the woman who had raised me since I was about 10 days old. She died of a stroke caused by her smoking habbit. She was in her mid-50s.

When I was 14-16, I spent all my summers at my grandmother's house taking care of her (my aunt took care of her the rest of the year and I came to give her a bit of a break). I loved my grandmother. She was one of my best friends and I could always tell her anything. Most of my best memories from growing up involved her. But during these years, I started to hate her. And now I still hate myself for that. I had to bathe her, and wash her breathing machines, and hold her over the toilette, this was 24 hour care doing things I never ever ever want to have to do again. It was disgusting, it was hard, and all this time I had to watch this woman I loved more than anything waste away. And I knew that I was being caused all this pain because of a choice SHE made. So when you hear idiot assholes saying "it's my body, I can do what I want with it," just tell them to shut the ******** up because it's the people who love them who have to care for them. SHE put me in that position through HER choices and I hated her for it. She died just after her 80th birthday of lung cancer after spending close to ten years in and out of hospitals, going through kimo therapy, and having to deal with all the pain that comes from kimo therapy.

So when I fell in love with a man who smoked... that was that. That's my deal breaker. I will NOT let another person make some stupid selfish decision that I end up having to pay for. I told him that. If he didn't stop smoking, I would leave him because I would rather the pain of a break up now than have to suffer for years watching him waste away from his own actions later. That night, he gave his remaining cigarettes to his brother and never smoked again.

It was extremely hard. Cigarettes are extremely addictive. He's told me that he still craves them sometimes, even now (5 years later). He's also thanked me for giving him a reason to quit, for saving him. He may have been angry with me at first when I gave him an ultimatum, but he's glad now. And whenever I forget to appreciate him or start to take him for granted, I just have to remember all the pain he went through so that he could be with me.

Lucky for you, weed isn't nearly as addictive (either psychologically or physically). I would recommend doing some research before you talk to him. You mentioned being worried about catching a disease, so you obviously don't know too much about this. Do some research so that you can back up an argument. Then do some serious thinking. WHY don't you want him to smoke? If you don't fully understand your reasons yourself, there's no way you can make him understand them.

When you are ready, sit him down and talk to him. Explain to him why you don't want him to smoke. Be clear about it. Don't give any bullshit like "I just don't" or "it's gross." Come up with something substantial. For me, it was my personal experiences with the drug in question combined with my fiance's added health risks (weak heart and the blood tube things to his brain are too small). Back up your personal reasons with facts. If you care a lot about this, put your foot down. If, while doing your research, you realize that the effects are extremely moderate and that they only every really become realized if a person smokes a good deal, maybe you just want to talk to him about cutting down (say to once a month or on special occasions, something like that). What you don't want to be is that annoying girlfriend who just gives ultimatums left and right without even clearly understanding why she's doing it or having any real reasons to.

If it turns out that you are more worried about additives to weed than the actual weed itself, maybe you could make a deal with him. For example, maybe you would be willing to help pay for better quality stuff, or you want to be involved so that you can check out dealers and things like that.

(By the way, the "gateway drug" argument is extremely accurate but it will not work. I can guarantee that. Everyone likes to believe that they have self control. Don't bother building your argument around that. Come up with hard medical/physical facts instead.)

my mom told me that....if the guy had a cut or some mark, bubble thingy i forgot.....and you kiss him you can get a diease.
he does weed...i think he chews them or sniff them i douno.....could be both but he said he does it cuz it feels better for him.plus my best friend bf does the same thing.
im so confused. confused

My major issue with drugs is that they are illegal. Every time he does this he is breaking the law and could get in some serious trouble for it. I doubt that is going to convince him to stop but that is how I feel about it.

My husband's group of friends used to drink and do drugs and all of that stuff. He chose not to even while they were and that is one of the qualities that I really admire about him. I don't think I could fully trust someone who was ok with doing those kinds of illegal things.

Although my views on weed probably differ from most in the thread, the bottom line comes down to your relationship and what was agreed on. Trust and communication are MUSTS in a relationship. If you agreed together, not just you, that this isn't something you want in the relationship, then you need to sit down and talk effectively with him. What I mean by effectively (and I post this often) is:
Listen without defending, speak without offending.

Meaning, don't throw accusations out there. For SOME, it's a habit and if he IS hiding it from you, this has to be dealt with delicately. Although I have to question, even if this gets solved, what other things are you going to question next? Fidelity? Love?

I think you should also educate yourself on marjiuana and drugs. Not just so you're not echoing ignorant rhetoric from your parents, but to also show you can handle the situation when it comes to you. Mothers are great, but (and I'm a mom myself), we aren't encyclopedias and will say things to protect our children from harm, even if it means making stuff up.

I've NEVER heard of someone chewing or sniffing weed (I think you mean snuffing). It's an ineffective way to get high as it is.

It really depends on the person who smokes weed. It is possible to stop smoking weed at any time. I used to smoke weed on a daily basis. I quit however, because I was getting worried about my lungs(I run track). It wasn't hard, because my friends who I smoked with, all understood. Some of them actually decided to quit with me. However, with it being a gateway drug, that's very true, but it also depends on the person and their morals. The only other drug besides Marijuana I have done are Shrooms. I've only done it a couple times, but like marijuana, it isn't addictive...it's just extremely dangerous while you're on the drug.

Anyways...marijuana is only addictive to people who learn to depend on it. I personally only did it because I found it extremely fun, and the town I live in is extremely boring. I'm not gonna lie, I miss it, but for the most part I had no withdrawl symptoms.

Ecstasy however, is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. I'm glad to hear your friend stopped taking it.

Anyways, chances are he's still doing it. It's very easy when you're doing it to just say that you're not doing it anymore. But if his friends are still calling him up and asking him to get high, chances are he's still doing it. It's hard to say no to your friends. Just talk to him and make sure you both see eye to eye, and that you trust each other.

well, you can't get disease from people just because they smoke weed.

i had a similar situation - i decided it wasn't worth it being with someone who was so unhappy that he needed weed to get away.

i felt so guilty i couldn't help him, and i felt guilty for breaking up with him, but i needed to do it. i was literally going nuts, because my parents had split up the week before he told me about his continued "habits."

yesh. it's hard...

there's a point you have to decide whether what he does harms you, and if you'll stand for it.