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"I hate being the littlest," the pup sniffled, plopping down in the dirt. Now that she was a sufficient distance from the rest of her family, the little Page didn't need to worry about keeping up appearences so much. She didn't dare cry in front of them, she could only imagine what a shocking disappointment that would be to her mother. Kurroa would never dare to disappoint her. Mother was her idol. Her greatest aspiration was to make her proud, to be just like her. Which meant no crying. Even though everything hurt. Even though she couldn't do anything as well as her sisters or brother could. And he was a boy. Well, she sniffled, he was bigger and stronger than she was. If she weren't the runt of the litter, she would do better. Oversized ears drooped miserably down her back. If only she were bigger. It felt like the spirits were playing some kind of trick on her. She just didn't understand why. Why would they want to make her life so difficult? Why did they want her to dissappoint mother no matter how hard she tried?

By now she was sobbing outright, tears streaking down the cream-marked fur of her cheeks. She didn't even look like mother! She was the only one of her siblings who was as dark as their father, no, darker! She was almost pitch black, or so it seemed to the miserable little pup. Father was brown, mother was a soft light cream color and her brothers and sisters were pale tan and cream with some brownish markings. But she? She was about the same color as mud in the shade. She didn't even look like she belonged! Maybe that was because she didn't. She didn't fit in, she was too small and the wrong color and...and...and! It would explain why she couldn't do anything right. It would explain why she kept disappointing mother. Everyone else seemed to catch on right away, like it came naturally. But she...she couldn't get it right no matter how hard she tried, or how many times mother had to correct her. Over and over and over and over again and again and again... she was just a failure. A miserable excuse for a runty pup.

Maybe she should just leave. Three was a good number for pups, right? Four was just silly really, who needed that many? Especially when one of them was useless and stupid!

Kurroa whined pitifully, then bit her lip on a mournful howl. She so did not need to alert everyone in the pack to her disgrace. She didn't need anyone to know what a horrible failure she was, what a miserable, disappointing excuse for a daughter she was. Not to mention what a horrible student she was! Too clumsy, too slow, too stupid to do a proper job of things. Heck, she was too pathetic to even do a decent job, or a half-decent one!

The little pup curled up and burried her face in between her front paws, tail tucked miserably against her flank as she choked on sobs. She would never do well enough to please her mother. She would fail and fail and then she wouldn't get to be a Dame when she grew up. If she grew up. What if...what if she didn't? What if the mountain failed her like the failure she was? She wouldn't even manage to be a lousy Ranger, she'd be a Jester! She'd be veiwed as a child for forever! Oh, how horribly ashamed mother would be of her then!

There was, she decided, only one thing to be done now.

Still sniffling, Kurroa rose to her shakey, clumsy, far too big and stupidly dark paws. It was time for her to go away. She should just leave and never bother anyone again, ever. If the sky and mountain had decided that she was to be worthless, then they could take her. No one else was going to want to after all! "I hate it!" she sobbed, "I hate being little and useless and stupid!" And weak. Because crying and sniffling and letting everyone know how miserable she felt was weak. And dishonorable. That's why she had to be careful and make sure no one saw her. But no one would see her ever again now. She could just leave and not come back, ever. Then they wouldn't need to worry about how shameful it was to have a stupid bumbling Jester in the family!

Resolute, miserable though it made her, the little dark pup picked her way awkwardly through the sparse undergrowth, sticking to where she would be out of sight. She didn't want anyone to see her go, didn't want to remind anyone that she existed. It would only make them sad to know that something like her existed. Eyes still blurred and brimming with tears, she lost track of the scents of the pack as she forged onward, stumbling almost blindly until...she stopped. It wasn't because she told her paws to cease, or because she'd gotten tired. It was because she was stuck! And no matter how hard she kicked and thrashed the brambles only wrapped around her tighter, poking into her skin beneath her soft baby fluff and making her whimper even more.

Now what could she do? Nothing that was what! She was no good to anyone at all! She might as well let the bush keep her, at least it seemed to want her!

"Giving up?"

Kurroa blinked, her ears laying uncertainly back against her skull at the soft voice. Was someone there? Or was it just her own stupid head talking to her? "I'm not giving up," she sniffled in protest, trying to look around but impeaded by the thorns gripping her fur. "I'm just leaving."

"Why?" the voice came again, rough but feminine. Who was there?

"Because..." Kurroa snuffled, "I'm no good."

"Is that so?"

She nodded, then whimpered when her poor little nose got scratched.

"So you're running away then?"

"N-no..." Kurroa protested, but the voice had struck home with that one. Maybe she was running away. It was just too hard to do anything right was all. She just wanted to make her mother proud, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't. It was too hard for her. She was too little... "I'm stuck anyways..." she added, there was no way for her to run anywhere anyway.

"Oh? Did you try to get out already?"

Stupid voice, of course she had! "Yes! But I caaan't...it's too-" ...hard? Was she going to say it was too hard? Well it was! It seemed like everything was. "I'm not big enough!" Her brother and sisters were all bigger than she was, everyone was! If she were bigger then her legs would be longer and she could run faster. And pick up bigger things. And be better. Because she wouldn't be too small to do it right.

"You are on the small side, yes," the voice conceaded, which only made Kurroa want to cry again. Even her stupid voice was giving up on her... "But I'm sure you're smart enough to figure it out."

Figure it out? Figure what out? She was stuck and so tiny that she couldn't push through the thorns! They were mean and hooked and stuck on her and into her every time she tried to shove forward. "I can't," she whined again, wriggling for a moment before going limp once more. If she asked the voice for him, would it help her? No, that would be pathetic. She didn't need to bother anyone else with her stupidity.

"Just take a step back for a moment. Look at the problem, and think about it calmly..."

Huffing and sniffling, she just stood there for a long minute, glancing back and forth as much as the stupid brambles would allow. All she could see were those poky painful hooks pointing right at her face, how was she supposed to...wait a minute. They were all pointing at her face. All of them. Cautiously, she took a small step back, squeaking as her fur was pulled and scraped. But she moved. Another step, and then another, and the thorns couldn't keep her gripped as firmly. They all pointed in one direction. She could never have forced her way forward, but a few steps back had her completely free. Maybe that was how everything worked? The pup gave her fur a quick shake to shed the broken bits of brambles before sitting down and surveying the bush. She lost a lot of fur, which hurt, but she had been successful. Not because she was strong. Because she was smart. Wasn't it that girls were supposed to be smarter than boys? It was something like that, wasn't it? So..naturally, she was supposed to employ her intelligence and then using that overcome the trials she was presented with. She wasn't totally stupid, she'd just been trying to be something she wasn't.

She could still be the best. She could still shine, even if she was a dark star. She would be the brightest of all. Sniffling, wondering where the strange voice had gone, Kurroa glanced around curiously before heading back towards her family den. She missed seeing the maned wolf that chuckled to herself before vanishing back down towards the base of the mountain.