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 Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:24 pm
Okay...Here goes nothing I guess. I hope this is the right place to post this. I started writing Black Sheep a while ago. It's somewhat a tribute to the novel The Lovely Bones - as in my main character dies before the story is written but other then that it's completely orignal character and story based (I hope) and well I seem to have reached a dead end. I was wondering if anyone could help, give suggestions or ideas on how to break out of this block or if I should just give up and write something new?
Story will be in second post.
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Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:26 pm
The world always seems to forget those who are never destined for anything more then average unless something wrong is done. The average single mother never gets credit for what she does for her kids. However as soon as she doesn't do one thing, society jumps down her throat and takes her kids away. It's funny how as soon as we fall off the path society feels we should follow we're deemed “black sheep”. We do nothing wrong our whole lives but the second we do or say anything out of the ordinary,our life is taken from us without a second thought.
I realize this sounds completely crazy comming from a dead person's perspective but I feel it's finally time that I get heard for once. My life was taken from me when I was sixteen. As far as I had know I did nothing wrong besides take a different road home. Maybe that was my punishment for walking a different route. Maybe my mother had found out that I had skipped school that month so we wouldn't lose the house. Maybe my teachers decided that since I was shy that I should be an example to all the other shy students. Whatever the reason, I am now dead and writing this to you from my perspective of life.
I must, however, admit to you that I was always a bit of a loner in school. I avoided people because I had a hard time trust them with anything. My family was always picking at my life choices, like the one to be alone. If I didn't met my football star older brothers standards, I was called anti-social. If I chose to read a different book then someone else, I was told that I was being “too literate” for my age and ordered to pick a new book out. Even when I sat in my room drawing quietly while watching either a movie or a TV show, my mom's boyfriend of the week would barge in complaining of how I was being anti-social and then proced to call me other names. This was the routine of my life; wake up, go to school, get insulted, come home, do chores, get insulted some more and go to sleep. The longer I kept this routine up, more robot like I began to feel.
My school life wasn't much different then my home life. I had a few friends but I couldn't say we were close or anything. They decided things and I just put on my best smile and went along with it. I guess if one was to be technical I was faking my way through life.
The week before the prom, we-I guess I really mean they- decided that a party was called for. Not a high school party but a college frat party. So me being the quiet mouse of a person I am, naturally I just bottled my insecuries up inside me and went along for the ride. When everything was said and done with planning the party someone, I can't remember who, suggested we all go shopping. Naturally, I had gotten a job at the only store in our rather small town worth shopping at. My so-called employee discount was hardly worth the forty some hours I put in weekly but it was enough to keep the group happy. Pasting on a genuinely fake smile that seemed to pass for real to everyone else, I happly continued flipping through the clothing racks to find outfits. I had skirts, shirts, tanks, layerable tee's, you name it laying on the counter just waiting to be packed and squirled away until the party. When it came time for me to find an outfit no one was around to critque it. I quietly muddled my way through the store putting away the disguarded clothes. My eyes fell upon a simple black halter top that was classy and yet discreetly revealing. Just as my luck would have it my manager came up behind me and noted the halter. Shaking her head slightly as she removed it from my hands and brought it up to the till.
“You'll have to find matching pants or get the black leather ones to go with,” she said in her unusually mono-tone voice.
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:08 pm
Intesting concept, though writing suggestions would include bolstering up descriptions (for we never see what the character looks like, even briefly) and making paragraphs flow. Transition words would be nice, and set visuals or pictures in the readers' head. It was a slight jump, but excusable one, from the first paragraph to the second. You also write it casually. Since, it's first-person, I don't mind it as much, though I'm used to reading texts with larger vocabulary. Use more synonyms and repeat phrases or things for the reader to know in various ways to get a subliminal message across. (It also helps with the flow, in the plot and introductory knowledge.)
Now, as for plot suggestions, I'm stumped as I have no idea what it is in the end you are plotting through. Most people, when writing stories or narratives, is that they have a theme/message, a whole plot (they later on write out chapters to give it 'muscle' and life), and works on the characters on the way. Later on, that's when editing comes in. I could go on with the whole process more, but the thing is, I can't help you seeing that I don't know what the plot is yet... If I think of something, I'll post it up here.
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:57 pm
Well I know how I want the character to look and intereact with her world. Only problem is...I've rewritten the whole story but nothing seems to work.
The plot itself is kind of another problem in itself.
What I do know so far is that the Main Character is going to die. I somewhat know how but I dont want to be like everything else.
But I dont want it to be so far about there in the middle nowhere and everyones like O.O "wth"
So far what I have completely 100% figured out with the plot is that.
Main character goes though this edvent then gets killed (not quite sure on that yet)
But I think I wanted like a self revaltionishy thing...Sorry about spelling, Im kinda tired.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:02 pm
I see. Plot problems.
To help you think of more build-up for the plot, can you think of a theme or message to your writing here? What's it teaching the reader, or what moral does it convey? It could vary from "Be nice to others", or "Life is horrible, but you must always learn to rebel", or... something else. These are from the top of my head.
Next, you could try thinking of what would make the reader understand that through the words that weave together. A story isn't just a character going on marvelous adventures. There should be meaning with what's happening, or some sort of connection that the reader can make to what's going on.
I doubt that'll help unless you can understand half of what I'm saying, but here's hoping.
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:15 am
Well I was kind of hoping for a "youre life matters to someone. you may not know it but it does." or something like that without so many words.
The main character is kind of based of "my" experiences without being my life or me.
I want the character to "die" but at the end like kinda learn the life lesson and experience a rebirthing process...
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