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 Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:08 pm
So I have been going out with this girl for like 2 or 3 months now. She has recently become extremely clingy. She texts me constantly and gets very upset if I don't immediately text her back. We have gotten into like a dozen arguements in the past 2 weeks about how we never talk anymore, which is just absurd. To top it off she thinks I am cheating on her. The other day she texted while i was at work and I couldn't text back immediately, about 20 minutes later she texted back asking why I hadn't texted back yet. I told her it was because i was at work and we were busy but she insisted that I was lying.
The thing is she is really cool when she is not being so worrisome. I don't want to never see her again, I'd like to still be friends or work through this somehow. But I am positive that if I try to break this off she will just be deadset on the whole I was cheating on her thing.
EDIT: It's worth noting that she was always way more invested in this relationship than I was. She was really just a friend who liked me and I took a chance and things are kinda rocky.
tl;dr version: How do I friend-zone my girlfriend without her wigging out and thinking I was cheating on her?
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:27 pm
Sadly, no matter what you do or say, some girls are just going to twist things. From a female perspective, I really can't explain why some of them do that. Really, if you're going to have that many trust issues, then you may as well stop looking for relationships until you've got them all sorted out. Which isn't easy. Almost sounds as if she's looking for someone to complete her because she can't find the pieces of the rest of her puzzle. Doesn't work that way - relationships will only work with two people who are comfortable with themselves.
Maybe explain this to her? Say that you can't be with someone who's so insecure and refuses to trust you when you're being perfectly honest.
Really, with someone like that, there's no way to avoid hurting them. Best you can do is break things off and be truthful, as to hopefully show her what she did wrong so she learns for next time. 3nodding
Relationships up until marriage (assuming one believes in it) are all learning experiences.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:37 pm
Just my opinion, but.... She sounds like a psycho to me. Serious.
Trust is crucial in a relationship, and clearly... From one side, that concept is not present. All you have to do is tell her the truth. That there could have been a chance between the both of you, but the relationship just isn't worth her constant pestering and lack of faith in you.
If she wants to think you're cheating on her, and that you're lying to her when you can't answer your phone, let her. You can't let her twist her insecurities into the offensive. People like that... Well, there's no convincing them otherwise, and I'm telling you now, that you'd just be wasting your time and precious sanity trying.
As a female, I honestly can't say I understand her actions, I've only ever been on the receiving end of such treatments. Sigh... I'm really embarrassed with the way some women act when in a relationship. :/
I guess what I'm really saying is that, with the way you've described things, I don't see that relationship going anywhere healthy. Again, this is only my opinion, and I don't expect you do anything you're not comfortable with doing.
Edit: I honestly don't think that she would want to be your friend after you dump her.... This is just my guess from what you've said. And.... Why would you want her to be anyway? Some people are just better left out of your life for long periods of time until they can mature. <.<
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:22 pm
The thing is I can't completely cut her out of my life. We have too many mutual friends. I am going to see her again no matter how I slice it, and I'd like things to not be super awkward and I'd like her to not be trying to ruin my life after this break up.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:31 pm
I suppose that people are bound to learn this lesson at some point in their lives: Don't date friends, or anyone who is friends with all of your friends. It rarely ends well, and you'll usually leave the relationship with less friends than you started.
It's not going to be easy, I can almost guarantee that. Women don't get angry, they get vindictive, and she will most likely try to make you look like the bad guy in the relationship, but she'll get over it, and you'll be golden if you can pull through the mental stress.
Be strong, you'll pull through.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:11 pm
something similar happened to me
try and save the relationship if you can by calmly explaining what she's doing to piss you off (which is really hard. you have to almost persuade her without pointing fingers at her otherwise she'll get defensive)
then give it a week or two for her to adjust with subtle reminders of the conversation when ever she gets too crowding.
Allow her to come visit you at work when your on break if you really like her (this will allow confirmation that you are where you say you are without it seeming like your pointing fingers)
NOTE biggrin ON'T ALLOW HER TO VISIT YOU AT WORK IF YOUR GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HER! THIS= AWKWARD.
What I would do is just break it off and be whatever about the whole situation.
If anyone asks what happened casually explain that she was becoming paranoid and wouldn't believe me when I was trying to her the truth
she'll try to make people take sides but just wait it out, she'll get over it eventually.
You'll lose some friends but the smart ones will see that you don't have a girlfriend or a ******** and your not one for prostitutes (I hope) so you couldn't have been cheating.
and the smart ones are the ones you want to keep anyway.
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Mr Popo in your mouth Crew
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:18 pm
turn it around on her and dont let up
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:21 pm
BogiePop turn it around on her and dont let up I could see how that could work out great but it would probably turn out horrible.
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Mr Popo in your mouth Crew
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:18 pm
BogiePop turn it around on her and dont let up bad idea It's going to be tough but i have to break up with her. I am really not looking forward to the after effects. I don't think anyone but her thinks that I would cheat on her, but I do think she will find a way to get back at me. I mean, she knows things about me that other people don't know. I guess I just gotta let her go and hope for the best.
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:54 pm
Mesa the Wanderer she knows things about me that other people don't know. That may be true, and I promise you that she will use the fact that she knows these things against you. There's almost nothing you can do to stop it. I believe that it's better to cross this bridge now, while you have your head on straight, rather than prolong the inevitable.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:18 am
The Fullmetal Princess Mesa the Wanderer she knows things about me that other people don't know. That may be true, and I promise you that she will use the fact that she knows these things against you. There's almost nothing you can do to stop it. I believe that it's better to cross this bridge now, while you have your head on straight, rather than prolong the inevitable. oh yes let this be lesson to you never let anyone know s**t you dont want every one to know you could play the "she crazy" card to save some cred, if that fails you still have us
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:43 am
BogiePop The Fullmetal Princess Mesa the Wanderer she knows things about me that other people don't know. That may be true, and I promise you that she will use the fact that she knows these things against you. There's almost nothing you can do to stop it. I believe that it's better to cross this bridge now, while you have your head on straight, rather than prolong the inevitable. oh yes let this be lesson to you never let anyone know s**t you dont want every one to know you could play the "she crazy" card to save some cred, if that fails you still have us at a price though. BEND OVER! twisted
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Mr Popo in your mouth Crew
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:50 am
just put it in your mouth BogiePop The Fullmetal Princess Mesa the Wanderer she knows things about me that other people don't know. That may be true, and I promise you that she will use the fact that she knows these things against you. There's almost nothing you can do to stop it. I believe that it's better to cross this bridge now, while you have your head on straight, rather than prolong the inevitable. oh yes let this be lesson to you never let anyone know s**t you dont want every one to know you could play the "she crazy" card to save some cred, if that fails you still have us at a price though. BEND OVER! twisted I like the way you think
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:31 pm
Alright. I'm going to see her tomorrow so I'll do it then.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 2:42 pm
Mesa the Wanderer Alright. I'm going to see her tomorrow so I'll do it then. Break up or bend over?
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