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 Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:24 am
Boris walked a long side Madoka as they took a long walk through the various parts of heartlands forest. He wanted to take her to his regular fishing hole where he could be found if she ever got lost or somewhere to check if she didn't know where he was. Though, since the confession of their feelings towards each other they had grown up a lot and it was only an amount of time before the next step or the 'talk' would crop up.
What a better time, now than any!
He couldn't wait. It was something that his mind had been trailing on. He hoped she felt the same way, but the doubt that she didn't never even occurred to him.
With a charming smile, Boris nuzzled her cheek, ears falling back at the kittens embarrassment.
"Madoka?" He spoke softly. "I want to know what you think about..." He blushed, pausing briefly. "Having a family together."
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 12:07 pm
Bouncing along with Boris, and Madoka giggled when he nuzzled her. She tilted her head curiously at him and then came the question. Madoka never gave the idea of having foals to much thought. It was almost like it never occurred to her. But when Boris asked, she didn't feel happy about it. All she could think of was her parents, and they were killed in front of her. And that free seemed to prevent her from wanting foals.
"Well... I.." She looked over at Boris, she could tell he wanted a family, but Madoka... She felt dead inside thinking about it. "I don't really think I'd .. want foals." She winced saying it, because she had that instinctual feeling that Boris would be upset.
She hadn't ever told Boris about her family, and it was still such a sore subject that, she just had trouble talking about it. She was orphaned, and then made an outcast in her herd, until she became an adult, and then just abandoned her. It was because she was capable of being the new leader but still...
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:00 am
There was something wrong. Boris felt his entire being fall in to a sulk, everything was tingling in anticipation, an instinct telling him he didn't want to hear this; to run - but he denied it. Everything was going to be fine! He perked his ears waiting for the moment of truth and there it was.
Madoka winced, a shudder ran down his spine. His tail curled around his back leg and any form of movement spiraled to a halt. No chimes, no smile, no expression until his eyes fell away from the mare and to the floor, dull and lifeless. They closed.
His mind was fighting, fighting away that she would never want a family, that this would all it would be forever... Sure, it wouldn't be so bad, they were great together but he wanted more than that and he knew he couldn't live with the idea that nothing more wouldn't ever become of them.
He reopened his eyes again slowly. The one thing he wanted to know... He had to ask. He turned, looking at her once more.
"Why?"
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:54 am
Madoka took a step away from Boris, she was starting to feel panicky, and feel like she was falling into a defense mode. "I can't have them. Do you simply have to have foals? Am I not enough for you?" She was starting to attack Boris. She wasn't even able to recognize herself.
"It'll just end up lonely, and bitter. Blood everywhere..." When she looked at Boris, she wasn't really looking at him. She was remember what happened after the attack, when they creatures that killed her parents were gone. There was blood everywhere, and barely anything left of her loving full of life parents. Remember it now, it felt like something inside her was breaking. "What good.. would having foals do." Her parents died, and they were protecting her.
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 2:34 pm
"You can't have them or won't?" Now Boris was feeling a little bit like the jester, a fool. He silently grit the sharp hidden pearls, an anger bubbling up inside. For now it was easily controlled. "Of course you're! It's just... Everyone loves moving on, growing together, having children and having the best time of their life watching them grow, caring for them and having something that makes everything mean so much more. Something that's solely yours..."
His voice faded, the amount of joy that felt unbearable that it could burst out of your chest at any moment, when he spoke made it a sure reason that it was what he would always want and they would be blessed with a true, beating heart unlike him.
A snot fled his lungs in confusion, at her strange statements. They hurt deep, what was she implying? The words she spoke brought back memories, something that... Dice said...
He sighed and shook his head, eying her carefully.
"What do you mean? We would always be there for them. They will always be safe, I would never let anything happen to them, or you."
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:18 pm
"Y-You can't guarantee that!" She shouted at him. Her eyes welling up in tears. She couldn't even see him anymore, the tears were blocking his form, and she kept picturing the remains of her parents, and she started to feel sick... As a foal when she saw her parents bodies shredded, she vomited and passed out in their blood until someone from their herd came and took her away. And she repressed the memory until just before she met Boris.
Her knees were starting to feel weak... "You can never promise something like that..." Her heart felt broken, her parents always said things like 'We'll always be here' and 'We'll always keep you safe'. And then in the blink of an eye they were gone. "My parents said the same things!" She didn't want to make a promise that she couldn't keep, to her own flesh and blood. She knew that this was also hurting Boris...
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Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 8:46 am
Boris stared at her, his face fell in to concern and worry more than angry. "But, you can." He stated. "You have to show a form of comfort and you have to believe in it, or else no one would have kids. It's apart of growing up." He stated, warm air slowly flowing from his nose.
He turned and started to walk to the waters edge, weaving through a tree before staring down in to the murky contents. They had met by water. What was happening they were so happy like nothing could get them down in the world. There was much more to it than that now. It showed they didn't know each other as well as they thought they did.
He shook his head, slowly looking to the side.
"What are you so afraid of?" He asked, gently. "What happened to you?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:21 am
Madoka watched as he walked away, she shook her heard trying to get the tears from her eyes. "My parents were killed when I was a foal, and I watched the whole thing. I didn't even remember it, when I was left by my herd I couldn't understand why, and then after meeting a stallion, and traveling with him, we ended up at this place, that looked just like the place my parents would take me. And everything just flooded back. And then a few weeks later I met you." Madoka watched the ground.
"I was never taught that I had to have foals, and I never thought about it, because I didn't want the same things to happen. I don't remember anything anymore... When the heard left me, I was like a new born foal, I had no idea how to survive. I never experienced what a family would be like for most of my life, and I barely remember my time with my parents. Having foals, it feels like I would be dooming them." She whimpered, glancing over at Boris.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:40 pm
He understood a little better as she explained, ears falling back in both sorrow and sympathy however, he wasn't too particularly fond of her mentioning words of another stallion, either. Since the last time he had grown so fond of someone, that only lead to them leaving.
"Maybe you would be happier with someone else, with the same opinions." He sighed. "I can't live knowing there is no future as a family." He admitted openly, staring at her seriously. It was an awful thought and a shame but he was mad at the whole ordeal and it was taking time to process everything.
"I'm sorry for your loss, that sounds horrible Madoka but you have to move on now and take chances that arise to you..." He knew that all too well, each time was the same and everyone ended the same but he kept going and looking forward, to find some form of purpose.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:17 pm
Madoka blinked at him. She wasn't to sure what to say, He sounded upset with her. She glanced her pink eyes to the side, wandering what to do. He seemed rather serious about her finding someone else. Maybe Boris didn't want her anymore...? Her eyes started to well up. This was all so sudden. Madoka didn't know what to think anymore... She never thought about foals until this conversation... And now Boris was telling her, she'd be better with someone else... But Madoka didn't really have anyone else..
"I-I u-u-understand..." Her voice was weak, and empty feeling. It seemed like the one thing in her life... Boris, the thing her world revolved around wanted her to go. Because she didn't know if she wanted to start a family.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:28 pm
Boris felt broken by her answer, halted by very time itself, wondering if his clock was dying by the second with the ticker jammed. He lowered his gaze and slowly turned, his figure slumped and tardy as he began to wander away from the black and pink mare. They didn't understand each other, it was... Futile.
He decided it would be best not the look back, eyes glazed and numb by the feeling of rejection once more, a tremble filled his lips, breath locking only bursting in rasps when he remembered he needed to breathe.
"Goodbye, Madoka..." He whispered under his breath one last time before his eyes fell heavy and closed, the only soothing belonged to his boa as it trailed the ground and tickled the material by his cheek. Finally wandering out of view as the last chime from the cat's body rang low to a hum.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:55 pm
Madoka started to shake she didn't understand what was going on anymore. She watched as Boris walked away from her. She didn't... even understand anything that happened. The mare looked around her eyes blurred with tears... It hurt so much she started to wail. Stumbling off into the other direction to find her way back to the kawanii lands.
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