@Silver--haha. It's ok
smile I have a few concerns about my characters?
Quote:
Name--age--power--weapon
Collin Gray--19--invisibility--glove claws
Holly Verbena--17--elemental earth--longbow
Jay Hazun--16--woodworking--jian
Nevin Yves--14--material morph--fan
Zhe Xue Xing--15--ambient water--staff
Evangeline Suis--14--witch--9-part chain
Illiya Hazun--15--threadwork--long dagger
Margaret Allene Garrett--19--energy transfer--double sabre
Synthia Bluebell--16--elemental light--twisted spear
Yarrow Teasel--17--mist healing--short bow
Concerns:
Powers1. Yarrow's power, by nature of being a healing-type, seems really Mary Sue ( I jest remembered the term >.<) to me. I was talking to ePhyllis about this a little, and she doesn't think it sounds that bad. But is there something else that might fit more?
2. Margaret's power involves transferring energy, health, whatever to or from others. It also allows her to feel/ see invisible or intangible things by seeing the auras in her "alternate vision", a "dimension" which she can see the auras and control the energy levels. At greater proficiencies she can use tangible energy attacks as well. At even greater proficiency, it can allow for mind-reading or other psychic techniques.
Originally I thought that the limitations would come into play well enough to avoid Sue-ness: she must be in the "alternate vision" to do or see or feel anything, and she can't physically move when in the alternate vision--only a mental self-figure moves. Furthermore, although she can buff or debuff individuals, it isn't just "bam," and it's done; the buff/ debuffs are complex and she has to work around the mental and physical shields.
However, it still strikes me that this entitles: healing, direct draining of energy, endless source of energy, buffing, debuffing, shields, energy attacks, mind-reading and possibly other. And that's just her power. Any ideas on how to balance her out? I like the idea of a path of development, but it seems very sue-ish.
3. Evangeline's power, witch, allows for basically all the things covered by Harry Potter wand magic, only channelled without a wand. I want to restrict or limit this somehow, but I can't be sure how to do it without hamstringing her or making her a Sue. Ideas?
4. Collin's power allows for complete invisibility, as in even the ability to mask his aura (so someone like Margaret can't see it, even in the alternate vision). But it feels Stu-ish, in that he can technically be anywhere then.
5. Nevin's power allows him to take the material of anything he touches and become a different sized- creature with it. I'm fine with the power itself, but his personality is supposed to be a very nice and tame, religious-oriented kinda figure. Is that too ironic?
6. Holly, Xue and Synthia have elemental powers...while others don't...does this clash too much and or give them too much power? Is it...just odd?
Weapons1. I think the weapons on either side are pretty balanced, though not perfectly
sweatdrop :
glove claws----------dagger
jian----------------double sabre
staff---------------spear
longbow------------9-part chain
fan----------------short bow
Though it's rather obvious that the boys have an obvious range advantage with the longbow.
My problem is, is it really really weird the choice of weapons? The girls are the ones with the dagger, sabre, chain, spear...and the boys have a fan and longbow...which is kinda....girlish?
ok. Anyways, Thank you for reading this. Any and all ideas welcome! Thanks in advance!
~Trisana.
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