The Adventures of Justice Jones
I have no idea if I'll bother to keep this going past tonight, so here goes nothing.
Part 1: Justice Floats
Seeing as this is a muhmorpugah, there is, of course, a login screen. This isn't it. Seriously, you'd think that of ALL the types of games out there, an MMO wouldn't need this. Hell, why do we even need screens to press start on to begin with? Do the developers think that we forgot what game we're playing? Do we need a reminder? I know it's an arcade carry-over, but seriously. The hell.
Anyways. I logged in, and realized if I was going anywhere, I'd have to stick with a Hyur, a race known for "peculiarly short, round ears" and apparently ransacking most of the land and populating the hell out of it.
This godawful (Firefox recognizes "godawful" as a word, apparently) pile of flesh was what the game suggested as my default character. Homey don't play dat.
That's more like it. But he still looks kinda... wrong. Too much Jones, not enough Justice.
Much better. After that, I had to pick a class. There are four basic classes to choose from. I don't remember what they're called so I'm naming them Fighter, Squishy Woo-Woo, Hunter-Gatherer, and That One That Has Blacksmith. Since I expected my character to go around dispensing justice...
... I made a Pugilist. None of the combat characters had hammers, so I realized that the long arm of justice would have to be my own. I was ready to go. I picked my name and some sort of sign thingy that I'm guessing was my birthdate, as well as the country that I would call home, and entered the game proper.
I naturally started on a slave ship...
... hit on some women...
... and got sucked into Ghostbusters II. Having nothing better to do with my time than apparently go on a bad LSD trip, I somehow wound up on deck with a catgirl priestess. Turned out the entire ship was under attack by poorly drawn metroids. It was time for some JUSTICE.
They were no match for my explosive justice fists. Unfortunately, Musty the Grizzled Sea Captain saw something grizzly with his grizzled, musty eye.
... s**t
Fortunately, C'atgirl L'healshield protected me from the metroids with her ice shield. Or something. I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy looking at her a**.
Long story short, turns out everything's fine, everyone made it okay, and nobody died in the nondescript amount of time it took our voyage to complete. Everything turned out just fine!
... until I realized I was the only black guy on the island.
