Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hmmm. I suppose I could give you an internet hug. Although I admit if this were real life it might be an awkwardish hug.

*hug*

I love giving hugs! Hugs make everything better!

*hugs*

Yo, wassup man. Its cool that you've been gone cus' I haven't been around a lot either.

But with that aside...HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU WOULD NOT
BURDEN US. I AM POSITIVE THAT ANY, IF NOT ALL, OF US WOULD HELP YOU IN ALMOST EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM. ALSO HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK YOU WERE A BAD GUILD MEMBER. NEXT TIME I EVER HEAR ANYONE SAY THOSE WORDS, I WILL RANT ON THEM LIKE NOBODY HAS EVER RANTED ON ANYONE ELSE HAS EVER RANTED ON SOMEBODY IN THE GUILD BEFORE. (even worse than Kain)

Now that thats all done. I don't do hugs so I won't hug you but...Nice to meet you. *puts out fist for him to pound*

I'm not really much of a 'hug' person. Even on the internet. Sorry. As for rants, it's OK to rant. That's part of why this parlor exists. And inactivity is fine, as long as you give us a reason.

Hmm... rather a useless post here. I'm going to go meander somewhere else...

Thank you all! I didn't think anyone would really see this, to be honest. Now I know what Master Wielder meant when he said this place was like family. heart

Well, there's just so much. I lost my job, which is a really long story. I have another one, but it's so hard to get used to. And I can't pay for school anymore either. So I'm not taking classes this semester, which feels really weird.

I met a girl though. She and I have been dating for two months now, but she's getting really clingy. I love her, but I'm not like in love with her or anything, you know? But she thinks she's in love with me, and um, well she's getting really clingy and randomly depressed, and I want to help her, but I don't think there's anything I can really do about it. It's almost to the point where I don't want to be around her anymore, even though when I'm away from her I just want to see her. But when she's around, I don't know, I just get really sad because I can't make her feel better, and then really angry because there's nothing I can do. I care about her a lot, though. I'm too soft sometimes, haha. But, I wish there was something I could do.

And then there's my ex. She kind of walked back into my life about a month ago. And, I don't know. She hurt me really bad, but it hurt even more not talking to her. Maybe that's stupid. But, I started talking to her again, and it's awesome. I look forward to talking to her on the phone, like a best friend. But, recently, it got more complicated than that. Like, she was happy for me that I found someone that I care about, and she was happy for me that I found someone who isn't going to do what she did to me. But talking to her again is starting to bring up old feelings. Like, when I see her, I want to run away. Because, well, even though we're just friends, and there's nothing in the world that could make me go back to her, I still really miss her. Even though we talk and stuff now, like, there's still obviously a lot of stuff that neither of us are saying. Trying to keep things stuffed inside or something. Like, I really want to scream at her for what she did, but at the same time want to tell her that it's okay and I forgive her. But, I don't know. Like, I don't know how I feel about it all.

And this has been going on for a while. All the while, my adopted dad is dying. I don't get to see him much, because he lives in Tuscon, and because he's really sick. And it kinda hurts to see him that way. And, you know, he's busy getting himself better and everything like that. I don't know. I just don't want to get in his way and make him feel worse, and I don't want to see him feeling so...bad. He used to be so full of energy.

I don't know. All of this is just some of the stuff I've been trying to avoid thinking about, yet been stuck focusing on for a while. And, because I kind of recently just started using the internet for recreation, I totally forgot about Gaia altogether.

Sorry for being a downer. I feel like I should delete this and say like it's nothing worth talking about. But, I put in the effort already, so I won't. sweatdrop

Sorry for ranting, too. Wall of text is big. emo

Sorry about that. Family. smile

Yeah, it's hard to deal with it head on. Like, I don't know what to do. I know that there's nothing I can do, and there's nothing I can really do to make it easier on him either. So, I just have to wait I guess. It sucks, because, like, I don't know. It sounds coldhearted, but I almost wish that he would die soon. Mostly because I know he is in a lot of pain, but also because then I can finally mourn a loss.

Haha, yes, he does have huge text walls. rofl