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[Q] Yogurt; IMA EAT JOO [Ready] Crits Please~ Goto Page: 1 2 3 [>] [»|]

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Nogi or Yogurt?
  Yogurt's #1 in my heart!
  Give me Nogi he can eat me any day!
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yeomso

Questionable Bear

PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:17 pm


AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM
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Name: Nogi Kuznek (no-gee koo-zuhsnek)
Nicknames: Yogurt
Gender: Male
Age: 15

Faction/Race Monster; Gluttony Incarnate (kind of)

History: Yogurt was born into a sweet three person family that consisted of his mother, his half sister, and himself. His mother was an acrobat that worked at an international traveling circus. She was eccentric and wild and didn’t even know the names of the fathers to her two children. Even so she was very loving and caring to her two children and Yogurt’s personality reflected that. And the two siblings loved each other as well; when she was only a few years old she gave Nogi his nickname Yogurt because it was her favorite treat, and he was her favorite brother. The name stuck ever since.

Yogurt’s first supernatural confrontation occurred after he fell during a performance working as a young acrobat. He went into a coma and his right arm had to be amputated; scars littered his body and a gash went across the side of his head. The numerous wounds and surgeries made his body incapable to perform and Yogurt went into a depression. He became obsessed with the fame he had lost and ached at the fact that he could no longer regain his popularity without his skills.

It was until one day the circus came across a new doctor that offered Yogurt a chance at a new procedure that would enable him to perform once again. Yogurt quickly agreed. But instead of offering Yogurt help the said doctor was in fact a demon that attempted to turn him into a gluttony incarnate; an entity with a thousand mouths and capable of swallowing anything whole. Along with the binding spell that would turn Yogurt into a servant, the transmutation spell also failed and Yogurt appeared to have remained completely human. The only proof the ritual even happened was that Yogurt’s body had regained its previous strength; the multiple scars no longer hindered Yogurt. Disgusted with his failed work the demon moved to kill Yogurt who barely escaped and began to run back to the circus ground.

Terrified and hysterical because of the ritual he just witnessed Yogurt ran back home fearing for his life. Yogurt’s own fear caused the failed transmutation spell to activate; his second physical form was born. Yogurt’s stitches that bound is wounds together slowly unwound and became sharp barbs that tore at anything that came to close to Yogurt’s body. His wounds opened and revealed ghastly mouths with throats that seemed to have no end. Once again Yogurt’s muscles became weak and he fell to the floor. He could hear the demon chasing him, shouting at his other servants to find Yogurt.

In desperation Yogurt pushed his limits and willed himself to escape despite the horrifying changes to his body. The short barbs became long and thick and they lifted him off the floor and carried him swiftly across the ground to the circus. At sight of his bungalow that his family lived in his vision slowly faded out. His body reverted back to a normal human. He was quickly spotted by his family and carried into one of the bedrooms. He shouldn’t have been out; how could he as a cripple?

As they fretted over Yogurt’s body the wild instincts of the gluttony incarnate took over Yogurt’s body. His mother and half sister were the first victims. The crunch from their bones being chewed on was over heard by another performer who screamed as he saw what had happened. The performer alerted the entire troop and caused a mass panic that was seen by the demon. Forced to clean his mess the demon stopped Yogurt and wiped the memories of the troop. The demon chose to keep Yogurt for his strange and accidental ability.

The human media labeled the incident as the disappearance of the Kuznek family; an unsolved mass killing. No official investigation could occur as there were no remaining pieces of the family besides a pool of blood.

Personality: While his real name is Nogi Kuznek, Nogi normally responds solely to his nickname Yogurt. When he identifies himself as Yogurt his personality is as scary as a newborn child. However, on the occasional instance when he responds to the name Nogi... he becomes horrifying. To say that he has a split personality would be incorrect; it's best to say that Nogi is bi-polar.

The personality that goes by "Yogurt" is slightly reserved but is also very touchy. Yogurt craves physical contact, and he accommodated his desire by becoming a sort of people-pleaser. By doing favors for other people he can sneak in a hug or two without people trying to shriek away because of his disfigurations. Yogurt actively tries to never say no to an honest request as he loves to do other people favors. He loves being well liked and he would often do eye-catching acrobatics to entertain crowds.

While he is a good person Yogurt is also slightly shallow; he loves to be loved more than he loves to please others and he loves having a larger friend base over a small group. He can’t see any of his negative traits and would often feel depressed that during rough times that no one would come to help. He’s very naive and finding solutions besides the obvious is very hard for him.

Because of his naive personality Yogurt is very slow to realize if someone nearby disapproves of his antics. As well he won’t believe someone dislikes him unless they say to his face “I don’t like you.”
The ones that often get annoyed by him are teachers that are trying to teach a class when Yogurt is riling up the class with laughter. While he's not a class clown that spews witty remarks he is occasionally seen as the class fool because of his nativity that is sometimes taken advantage of. All in all Yogurt comes off as a regular human... well really, he only thinks he's human. Unfortunately for him he can't really be called human anymore.

- - - - - - - -

In reality Yogurt only acts that he does not know the existence of "Nogi." After realizing what he had done to his family Yogurt had created the identity of Nogi to push the blame of their murder off of him and to the demon that cursed him.

Nogi is in no way a split personality; he’s solely a mask to deny the fact that he had murdered (and eaten) his family. When Yogurt acts as "Nogi" he is crooked and always smiling. He pushes his small favors on others saying that they owe him to get what he wants. He refuses to say no and must get what he wants. He's not afraid to bite to get it either. Very spiteful, loves conflict.

Nogi is essentially all of Yogurt’s pent up rage that he built up from the accident. Nogi is flat and static as Yogurt didn’t really put much thought into a fake personality. In short summary, he is a vindictive and cruel a*****e.

- - - - - - - -

Yogurt is his normal personality; how he was before the accident that claimed his right arm. He doesn’t like becoming “Nogi” because it’s admitting that what happened to his family was true and that the live he lives now and the academy isn’t a dream like he hopes. What causes Yogurt to become Nogi is desperation. Intense fear for his life that the gluttony incarnate forces Yogurt’s body to change and in result Yogurt puts on a mask to accommodate his body. With enough forced transformations Yogurt will eventually learn to change to “Nogi” habitually.

Another way that forces Yogurt to change is by the order of a demon. Just as the transmutation spell was faulty the servant binding spell was as well. At random times power over him can switch to the strongest demon in the vicinity.

He only switches back to Yogurt when there is no one watching or if he passes out.

Misc. Facts: Yogurt tends to stay away from demons. “Both” personalities fear and respect them because of the demon that changed him as well as the faulty servant spell.

There is no middle ground with transformations. If Yogurt’s body changes then Nogi is immediately placed into effect. Nogi must have the transformed body; he will NEVER appear in Yogurt’s human-form body and Yogurt will likewise never appear in the transformed body. At least not until second year when Yogurt comes to grips with his sin.

Most of his human memories are just of the one incident; otherwise all he has are flashes of his sister and mom which is rarely.

Also has left over feelings from them like out of the blue he would miss his sister though the only memory he has is eating her. But he still loves her- he remembers his love for his family and his passion for the stage. That's pretty much it.

Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy?
Nogi was sent to the academy by his master, the demon. With the servant binding spell still attached to him, Nogi was forced to go the academy to learn to be useful and master and control his fear. There’s nothing worse than a servant that might go on rampage and eat you.

One of the things he needs to improve with his fear is transport, only transforming a portion of his body so that he can keep his legs human and is thus able to chase his prey.

However Yogurt is mainly interested in the gym class taught by Prof. Red. He wants to maintain his acrobatic ability why he's at school and is often seen working out to keep his muscles in tip-top quality, even though he doesn't need to because of the spells cast on him. His goal is to start a gymnastics team as soon as he's enrolled.

FEAR:
Yogurt only activates his fear when he's Nogi. His ability is what the demon "gifted" him with: his stitches unlace and become sharp barb like teeth and his wounds open and become mouths that tear and eat his prey.

He's fairly grotesque and makes many shriek and run as far and fast as possible. Standing too close to him will give people a sinking feeling and to the weak minded, vertigo. Nogi is unable to pursuit as the multiple mouths remove the muscle from his legs and arms. He becomes unable to walk or lift objects more than five pounds. Currently the only way of transport is to make his barbs stretch and carry him which is a slow and difficult process. Any child can outrun his slow pace which is why to use his fear effectively Yogurt has to get incredibly close to his target and then initiate the change. With Yogurt’s refusal to change without using Nogi as a mask it becomes impossible to actually capture his prey.

Until he improves his ability to control his barbs and strengthen their grip any child can escape from his grasp. He can go on "rampage" and his power jumps to the level when his body first changed but to do that Yogurt must lose his sense of self and his rampage will only last for about five minutes before his body collapses.

When he becomes highly advanced (third year or graduation) Nogi will be able to control what parts of his body will open and become mouths. His extra attack will be that for his right arm the barbs will lengthen and twist together to form a replacement arm. When he's concentrating on opening only a portion of his body, Nogi cannot give his opponents vertigo because it takes too much concentration.

Physical Description: Tan skin with a pink Mohawk that is tied into several buns. His body is covered in scars that turn into small mouths. Missing his right arm. It's a stub that is poorly stitched. With fear the stub opens up and the black stitching becomes sharp barbs that act like teeth/hooks.

Eye Colour: Warm Hazel
Hair Colour/Style: Bun-mohawk in hot pink.
Skin Colour: slightly tan
Clothing Style/Colours: Eye-catching. Similar to a skimpy tight clown suit. Easy to move and jump around in. Comfortable shoes or none at all. His clothing does not really have to stick with the references, I ask only to keep his hair style (you can darken the color if you want) and the scars on his head (left side of the head and between the eyes).
Extra: Scars all over his body. Missing his right arm and his ring and pinky finger on his left hand.
References: Click thumbnail. For first darker coloring, change the green/brown for the back pattern.
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 5:35 pm


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yeomso

Questionable Bear


yeomso

Questionable Bear

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 2:50 am


finished a rough draft for personality. open for crits!
expect grammar errors and some missing holes.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:50 am


So, I must say I really like your character. ^__^
I think he would get along well with Dazzle since Yougurt has sort of a similar personality to Dazzle and the fact that they are both circus folk. :3
I also really like the contrasting personality between Nogi and Yogurt~
The only thing I would really develop more is how his personality transits from Yogurt over to Nogi. ^__^

XxEternal MelodyxX


yeomso

Questionable Bear

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 11:57 am


thank you, i updated the info.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 12:29 pm


Fantastic! Nogi is scary; I'm wondering how I will be able to sleep tonight. :'D Anyway, if I'm hard to understand, do tell me!

First off, I like how everything in both his personalities are backed up by his history and I see no loopholes. I would love to see more details on his transitions between each personality though - like what can trigger the change from Yoghurt to Nogi other than the emotion of fear mentioned in the biography? How about from Nogi to Yoghurt? Is there a more dominant personality - or rather, which one is more likely to appear when he's studying in school?

Also, while this is not really anything wrong, I realized that Nogi's part under "personality" is mostly history rather than detailing the differences between Nogi and Yoghurt. Perhaps put the history elsewhere and just concentrate on how Nogi is different from Yoghurt? Right now, I get a good feel of how Yoghurt is going to be like in RP, but not Nogi.

As for his Fear, its strong but with a considerable flaw, which makes for a balanced ability. The only suggestion I have is perhaps through studying and practice, he could eventually choose which mouths/stitches to open? That way, eventually when he's a third year or alumni, he could move by walking or running by leaving the stitches on his legs unchanged?

Hope this helps!

Dragain

Wealthy Lover


Ririka

High-functioning Hellraiser

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 12:55 pm


I must say, I love the character you have created and the history behind how he came to be, though Nogi's appearance does scare me a bit. Still have love for him though. XD

As the others have said, I would like see more information and detail but in to how these two different personalities work and transition from one to the other, and maybe also see more on how they differ from one another, especially Nogi.

Besides that though, I wonder, is it possible for Nogi to take over on his own, without the demon or Yogurt's permission and calling?
I know he is not his own person, but subconsciously, can he be triggered to come out due to something beyond fear, especially say if Yogurt is knocked out or something?

Also, do the mouths ever fight with each other? 8D
I think that would be a funny sight to see.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:48 am


i finished updating his info, and i cleared up a few things. thanks for the crits guys! 83

yeomso

Questionable Bear


Discordancy

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:36 am



I'm honestly not experienced in offering crit; so if this is completely unhelpful, I really do apologize in advance.

I really like this character. The interplay between Yogurt and Nogi is wonderful, especially without dipping into schizophrenia. I want to see this character out and about.

One of the things I wondered while reading about Yogurt was, how does he move? I mean, you mentioned a lot about Nogi and his ways of getting around - and current lack thereof. Is Yogurt functional with his disabilities and missing limb? Does he function just fine, only having two fingers? Are his legs totally restored due to the demon's spell, or does he have some sort of impediment?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 10:19 am


thanks for the crit. ;3
Yogurt has scars all over his body that turn into barbs and gaping holes. Some of the barbs stretch out and become similar to spider legs that carry him. It's awkward since the "legs" are arranged according to the location of the scars so he walks like a mutated spider. But because he doesn't have control of the barb legs unless he's on rampage and his instincts come over, he's unable to walk in that manner.

For right now he has to settle with only activating his fear in a closed location of his body (only his arm for example).

Otherwise Yogurt is fully functional besides the occasional feeling of a ghost limb and twinges of pain from the scars. Nothing that would distract him if he was in the middle of a trick. He developed a way to write even with only three fingers since he still has his thumb. Thanks to the spell he can do acrobatic tricks again, and can even balance on his incomplete hand. His physical strength is how it was like before the accident.

yeomso

Questionable Bear


yeomso

Questionable Bear

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 2:57 am


bump up. ;3
PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:58 am


Nogi is terrifying. :c

But I love his personality and history. It'd make a good horror flick. I like that he's got a coping mechanism for his inability to deal with what he'd done. It'll make him a really fun, dynamic character.

Any idea where everything goes once the mouths have eaten it? o3o I would assume they don't have a direct line to his stomach, as that would probably make him explode. Several humans at once is... a ridiculous amount. XD

DarkHeartedSorrows

Sparkly Receiver


yeomso

Questionable Bear

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 1:02 pm


thanks for the crit <3
and for the compliments, i tried my best to make him scary~

everything he eats goes to a void, the stomach of all of those gnarly mouths. the flesh really just goes poof. XD

they're never full as well, or he wouldn't be a gluttony incarnate! 83
PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 5:34 pm


bump up. ;3

yeomso

Questionable Bear


yeomso

Questionable Bear

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:32 am


updated why he wants to go to the academy and also added a poll.
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