At first when she begins to awake, she cannot see. Her world's sound and voices, unfamiliar voices; a dull throbbing ache on the side of her head, pressure along her back, stiffness in the joints. The touch of a hand on her arm, light, feathery and still strange. She feels certain if she opens her eyes, shapes will resolve to faces and she'll know where she is, what she's doing, what happened. She'll have more than a niggling sense of loss in the back of her head, a terror of the waking world.

She falls back asleep.

*

This time when she wakes up, her green eyes open to an empty hospital room. White walls, faintly yellowed curtains, machines loosing little beeps every so often, in time with the beating of her heart. There are flowers, and out the window she sees a slice of blue sky. So she wonders, for a minute, what happened. She can't quite remember, so she lifts one hand and runs it over her head (where did her hair go, she wonders) but that's more tiring than expected, so she slides down into the bed and goes back to sleep.

*

Her third awakening involves an unfamiliar blue-haired woman holding her hand. "Elanor," the woman croons, running a hand over her bald head. "I'm so glad you're all right, sweetie."

She furrows her brows and says, "My name is Elke. Elke Arma."

*

She was in a car crash, she's told. Her name is Elanor Ansel, and she was in a car crash. That's why she thinks she's someone she's not. She insists her name is Elke Arma, and she wasn't. She wants her brother, and her fathers.

They sedate her.

*

They figure out that she is Elke Arma when the stubble of her hair grows in a shade of blonde. Elanor Ansel had blue hair, like her mother. Elke does feel bad for her as she watches the woman's face collapse. She feels worse as Mrs. Ansel kisses her forehead and says she's so happy for Elke's family. The woman's sobs are audible every time Elke closes her eyes.

She decides she would like to go to sleep, and sets her head against the pillow. But that's when Dad and Pop appear in the doorway, and she has to sit up and be happy to be alive.

*

Grayson is dead, and they have to sedate her again because she won't stop screaming.

*

It's Maman who comes to her and asks if she wants to go home to France. No one would blame her, she says. She is always hurt, she says. Destiny City isn't safe as it was when her father grew up here. But Elke will be sixteen in a month, and it's her decision.

She doesn't answer, just stares at the ceiling, whispering: Grayson, Grayson.

*

In the end, she decides she's going to stay. There's no one in France she wants to see, not even Papa, not even Voirrey. Really almost no one she wants to see here, but there's the Princess. And Dad and Pop, they need her. Pop looks drawn, Dad looks tired and pale. Maman arranges to help them out--it doesn't sit right to let someone else raise her kid, but it's what Elke needs and Papa and Maman want her happy. So when she's released from the hospital, her blonde hair spiky, it's Dad and Pop who are holding her hands. And she goes home with them, and sits on the couch with them, but it's still not quite the same.

It can't ever be the same.