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 Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:34 am
A lot of people have been saying its beating your child when you spank them.
I was spanked as a kid to learn discipline, I never thought of it as them beating me, since I grew up with my dad beating my older brother because he's part black and wasn't my dads kid to begin with.
Beating your children is much different than discipline.
Spanking your child is a good way of discipline, just like telling them 'No' is a way for children to learn right from wrong.
I get sick of hearing people say 'You shouldn't beat them for doing something wrong! You should lightly tap their hand and say 'Don't do that.' instead of hurting them!' They won't learn that way. They just won't do it when you're looking.
I wanted to know what you thought of this, since its a growing problem where I live and I'm sure it will end up an even bigger problem in the future.
What are your thoughts on spanking your children?
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:36 am
No, do not spank you child. Yes, it is a type of abuse, and a type of disipline, but also, studies say that spanking may lead a child into a life of crime.
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:19 pm
One_Smile_Counts No, do not spank you child. Yes, it is a type of abuse, and a type of disipline, but also, studies say that spanking may lead a child into a life of crime. That only depends on how the parents discipline their child. If they spank them all the time for everything they do, that would lead them into something bad. If they spank them for doing extremely bad things and ground them for mild things, that's understandable. Kids learn much better that way. Spanking, grounding, time-outs, and things being taken away until the parents decide the child has been punished enough. Its not abuse unless you make it abuse. My dad would use paddles with holes in them, and the occasional stick from outside. I didn't like the fact that he spanked me until I was 14, still making me pull my pants down to do it. There's a reasonable age for you to stop spanking your child. My brother spanks my nephew every once in a while, and its always for good reasons. He'll give him two swats with his hand, and my nephew will go to his room to think about what he did. My nephew hasn't made the same mistake twice, and he's the sweetest child I know. Now, this other child I used to babysit on the other hand.. His parent don't discipline him AT ALL. They'll occasionally take his things away, but only for an hour. He says the MEANEST things to me when I babysit him. 'You're going to JAIL! I HATE YOU!' No matter how many times I tell his parents, they refuse to do any sort of discipline, besides tapping his hand and saying 'No'. My nephew is the sweetest child, yet this child is the devil. My nephew gets disciplined, yet this child does not. neutral
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:32 pm
getting spanked for choking on food has pretty much turned me away from the whole ******** idea
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:32 pm
No way. When I get a kid I'll never spank them. It's a good type of discipline, but when my mom spanked me when I was little, I hated her more and more each day, which caused me to obey her less and less.
If the child did something wrong, I'd just tell them it wasn't right, and maybe take away a privalige from them. (I know I spelled it wrong. =0) It's like a nicer way to say they did something wrong, but still leaves an imprint and gives a reason for the child to stop doing whatever they were doing wrong.
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Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:12 pm
It was only a matter of time before this showed up.
Honestly, there's nothing wrong with spanking a child.
To me, tapping the hand and saying 'No' doesn't get the message through.
It shows you, as a parent, are weak, and the child will take advantage of it.
But if you prove yourself to be strong, the child will be more obedient.
The REAL problem is when is okay to spank.
It all depends on what the child has done.
Usually, my family does one light swat for minor problems.
The bigger the issue, the more swats there is and the harder they become.
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Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 1:50 pm
Randomly Gone Insane The REAL problem is when is okay to spank. It all depends on what the child has done. Pretty much this. I was spanked as a child, but I believe I was over-spanked. I even got spanked for asking stupid questions. As a result, I grew up with the view that asking questions is wrong, and I learned to pretty much get by on my power, without help from anyone. I've survived, of course, but it makes it hard for me to trust people, because I've never had to in the past, and I don't like doing it now. Subconsciously, I believe it's "wrong" to depend on others; I have to do everything myself. I've been slowly correcting that, but it's taken me a long time. It turned me into a very late social bloomer, which in turn caused other problems for me, but I digress. I believe spanking can work, if done properly, but I think too many parents (including mine) overuse it. It should never be the "default" punishment, given for every infraction of the rules, minor or major. It should only be used for very serious issues that can't be corrected in any other way.
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Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 7:48 pm
Zorlock Darksoul Randomly Gone Insane The REAL problem is when is okay to spank. It all depends on what the child has done. Pretty much this. I was spanked as a child, but I believe I was over-spanked. I even got spanked for asking stupid questions. As a result, I grew up with the view that asking questions is wrong, and I learned to pretty much get by on my power, without help from anyone. I've survived, of course, but it makes it hard for me to trust people, because I've never had to in the past, and I don't like doing it now. Subconsciously, I believe it's "wrong" to depend on others; I have to do everything myself. I've been slowly correcting that, but it's taken me a long time. It turned me into a very late social bloomer, which in turn caused other problems for me, but I digress. I believe spanking can work, if done properly, but I think too many parents (including mine) overuse it. It should never be the "default" punishment, given for every infraction of the rules, minor or major. It should only be used for very serious issues that can't be corrected in any other way. Exactly right. If its over-used, or mis-used, there's no point in the discipline. If its used correctly, your child's mind will grow healthier and smarter. My dad tended to mis-use it, mainly on my older brother, like for biting his nails and then blaming him for scratching his van with them.. My brother was the one treated unfairly, as well as my mom. He spanked my mom once with a paddle to teach us a lesson. People like my older brother are doing it right, and their children turn out better than most. My nephew even knows not to say bad words, even though the adults say them. He gets in big trouble if he talks back to anyone, or says a naughty word. He doesn't always get spanked for doing it though, he'll just get warned once and if he does it again its a spanking from daddy. This generation sucks with the way parents deal with their kids. Kids these days turn out to be very rude: Wangsters, young girls that dress like their mothers, who dress like total tramps, because they are tramps, or young boys that treat women like total crap, all because the parents are too light with discipline or just decide its child abuse. Its hard for people to find the right person because there are so many people out there that don't treat anyone with proper respect. I want to say to parents a lot of the time, to get their heads out of their butts to see this. But, no one wants to listen to a 17 year old, because she 'has never had children and wouldn't understand.' neutral
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Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:31 pm
judareana Zorlock Darksoul Randomly Gone Insane The REAL problem is when is okay to spank. It all depends on what the child has done. Pretty much this. I was spanked as a child, but I believe I was over-spanked. I even got spanked for asking stupid questions. As a result, I grew up with the view that asking questions is wrong, and I learned to pretty much get by on my power, without help from anyone. I've survived, of course, but it makes it hard for me to trust people, because I've never had to in the past, and I don't like doing it now. Subconsciously, I believe it's "wrong" to depend on others; I have to do everything myself. I've been slowly correcting that, but it's taken me a long time. It turned me into a very late social bloomer, which in turn caused other problems for me, but I digress. I believe spanking can work, if done properly, but I think too many parents (including mine) overuse it. It should never be the "default" punishment, given for every infraction of the rules, minor or major. It should only be used for very serious issues that can't be corrected in any other way. Exactly right. If its over-used, or mis-used, there's no point in the discipline. If its used correctly, your child's mind will grow healthier and smarter. My dad tended to mis-use it, mainly on my older brother, like for biting his nails and then blaming him for scratching his van with them.. My brother was the one treated unfairly, as well as my mom. He spanked my mom once with a paddle to teach us a lesson. People like my older brother are doing it right, and their children turn out better than most. My nephew even knows not to say bad words, even though the adults say them. He gets in big trouble if he talks back to anyone, or says a naughty word. He doesn't always get spanked for doing it though, he'll just get warned once and if he does it again its a spanking from daddy. This generation sucks with the way parents deal with their kids. Kids these days turn out to be very rude: Wangsters, young girls that dress like their mothers, who dress like total tramps, because they are tramps, or young boys that treat women like total crap, all because the parents are too light with discipline or just decide its child abuse. Its hard for people to find the right person because there are so many people out there that don't treat anyone with proper respect. I want to say to parents a lot of the time, to get their heads out of their butts to see this. But, no one wants to listen to a 17 year old, because she 'has never had children and wouldn't understand.' neutral Yes, i sometimes want to tell off some parents about their kids' manners, too, buut yeah who would listen to an 18 year old kid? I on one hand was not over-spanked but my brothers were, so watching them being spanked for every single little thing made ME fearful. Yes, i got my share of spanks but not as much as my brothers because i learned how to behave watching them. However, i was a really late social bloomer also but at least i know how to behave in front of other adults. When children get spanked they start to think "okay i cannot do that." It gets the message through but the real issue is to not over-use or misuse it. A simple pat on the hand is like telling them "dont do that right now" but eventually they will do it again and again.
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Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:20 am
how i figure it, is that a spanking is the basic equivalent to a squirt bottle and a disobedient dog or animal. Or even shock therapy it teaches consequences.
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Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:39 am
laviel how i figure it, is that a spanking is the basic equivalent to a squirt bottle and a disobedient dog or animal. Or even shock therapy it teaches consequences. you seriously aren't comparing shock therapy to a squirt bottle right...spanking is one thing...a squirt bottle is another...but shock therapy does nothing its more like a blooming torture...that's why its not used anymore
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:57 pm
I have been spanked and now that i look back on it, iI realize it has in the whole made me a better person. I was spanked in moderation for doing big things i shouldnt have done, and I understand not to do those things now.
Im extremely polite, I get those kinds of compliments alot, My mom kind of spanked the thought be respectfull to your elders, and be nice. xD i thank her for that actually. Spanking actually seems to be healthier, better then growing up as a child who can do whatever they want because they know there parents cant do anything to them, and ultimately ending up in some deep $hit.
I Think Moderation is the key honestly, just not to much, not to little
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 11:56 am
Ah yes, the great debate.
Spanking Vs. Not.
As a mother, I personally do not spank unless, it's called for.
Of course, I only used this method when my children were smaller, IE:2-5 years of age. Since, items/privileges weren't a factor at this period of time.
Mainly, my degree of punishment, for my girls at a younger age, was this.
1. Verbal warning
2. Second verbal warning, with time-out suggested.
3. Time out.
4. Spank.
I give the child every chance to correct the behavior, before I go corporal punishment on them.
Now that they're older, spanking just seems like abuse. :/
I just take away things, time spent watching TV, time spent on the Computer, take away bikes, video games, ect.
Works a lot better for me and my girls, personally.
I was spanked, a lot as a child. It's not caused me to be violent or criminal at all. It's done the opposite for me, caused me to be more withdrawn, scared of conflict, scared to talk about uncomfortable situations, unable to stick up/speak up for myself, or say "no".
I just think, the punishment, should depend on the child(ren). I was a very, very tender-hearted child, very sensitive and being spanked was the worst thing my parents could of done. Spanked rather than talked about what happened and why it happened..and why I was being punished. It was faster for them to just smack me and leave me stunned/crying.
I don't like violence, more so against children, animals, or people who can't defend themselves.
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:40 am
I was spanked as a kid, it was a punishment, i disliked my mother at the moment but five minutes later I'd crawl into her lap and watch tv with her, and I'm not a serial killer, and its not abuse, spanking is done on the butt because it will only sting and help a child realize bad actions lead to bad consequences, I'm all for it
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:03 pm
Spanking as a form of discipline is perfectly acceptable! I'm so sick of hearing that spanking is abuse! My mother would spank me when I was bad and I turned out perfectly fine! What I hate to see is parents who refuse to spank their children because they're so damn afraid of someone calling Child Services on them when the children obviously need the whooping! I see so many children acting so horridly in public: throwing tantrums, hitting other children, cussing out their parents, etc. and nothing is ever done about it! And the children continue the behavior because their parent/guardian doesn't do s**t about it!
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