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We've all heard this. We've all said, "Better than abortion." We've all worked out that some kids have it hard but it's better than nothing at all.

What many prolifers turn a blind eye to, however, is the fact that the adoption system (in the US and Canada at any rate) needs reformation. BADLY. Because choicers have a point. No one in here does it. At least as far as I can see. But prolife isn't just about you're alive, good enough. Prolife is about the quality of life as well. It isn't about numbers. It isn't about statistics. It's about people. This situation should not be ignored just because it is the lesser of two evils.

Why are so many kids not adopted? No, not because of women who chose adoption instead of abortion and then people didn't want the children. Not because handicapped kids won't be adopted. Not because everyone wants a perfect white baby.

But if this isn't why there are so many unadopted kids, what other explanation is there?

Consider the 1.4 billion dollar BUSINESS that is adoption. Consider the children who are taken from low-income homes on the basis that "Their rooms were messy," or "They had scabby knees." As opposed to every other kid in the world of course. rolleyes Consider the checks foster families get. Consider how much more the checks cover if the child is classified as special needs. Now think about all the abuse children who are abused by foster parents, people who are paid to keep them alive.

How on earth can people who foster children for money be abusive??? It's not like it's in their interest to not spend the money on the children. It's not like they won't be punished if they abuse the children. It's not like the real parents won't gain custody.

Actually, it is.

There are plenty of people who foster children from the goods of their hearts and even take money out of their own pockets to pay for extra things for the kids. But for every set of those there are at least five sets that're in it for money. AS this is going on, real parents are fighting in courts to regain custody. Remember, as I said, low-income homes. They can't afford to keep appealing. By the time the parents have exhausted their funds, they're older and "no one wants to adopt them." Even more, it's hard as heck for someone to actually ADOPT a child. The greatest scrutiny goes into people who're adopting. People have been turned down for: having smoked (no matter how long it's been since they last did), owned/own large dogs (because of course, fido who was run over by a truck three years ago is going to rise from the dead and maul any child in the vicinity), had a divorce (ever. because divorce is evil. Leave the kids with an unmarried couple who beat them, it's better that way) etc. This leads people who want to adopt to go to other countries to adopt, to fight the racism card, where they adopt mostly asians and africans. The problem with adoption is not that people looking to adopt are racist or evil. It is not that the children are unwanted. It is not even that people aren't willing to wait awhile to adopt. It is that the system is a tad bit corrupt. It's like slavery. Families are torn apart, children are sent to people, begging to go back home, and why? Money. It's sickening.

I thought it was a bit exaggerated. But no. I've met people. I've seen people who had their children taken, talked to kids who've been through this. It's real. Horrifyingly real. One woman I know had her children taken away for treating her son for a FATAL ILLNESS. He's getting sicker by the day.

Until the adoption system is fixed up a bit, "Adoption not abortion!" is a weak battle cry. It is better, far better than killing. How many slaves passed down through their families that they were grateful just to be alive and enslaved? That it was better than dying on the boat ride. There's at least a chance for those kids. But it's not much comfort. I'm prolife. I'm not bringing this up because I want to give greater validity to the prochoice stance. I'm bringing this up because it is a life issue, it is the lesser of two evils but it is still an evil that should not be tolerated, and until pregnant women can have a system where they are safe and their children are guaranteed a good home, abortion will have a greater moral hold on the people of this culture and seem to be in the best interest of the child. It is sad that abortion can possibly seem better. But I can definitely see how it could. I mean, I don't agree, but I can see how someone with a different worldview could.







more to come when I"m done coughing up my lungs.

oops, sorry. My first post had links, but gaia ate it since I was taking too long to type it stare Going through my history to get them out.

It happens to newborns too. Mothers sometimes change their minds and want to keep the baby, which the contract says they can, but they end up being evaluated whether they're fit to be a parent....one reason that counts against them is that they considered adopting out. There are wonderful adopters/foster people, I'm sure of that, I"ve met them. But then there are awful ones, too.

But this deals with the foster more than newborns because the argument I hear a lot is, "Adopt one of the kids already in the system." There are plenty in the system, but not because they are unwanted, or because they're not white infants.

Again, there are many, many, MANY wonderful people involved with adoption. There are many, though, that aren't.

Definitely. I know I can't make a difference on this one. But it does help if you go into an argument and adoption is downplayed to be aware of the negative sides. I have a tendency to ignore the negative parts of my position (well, negative isn't the right word. flaws? dunno. little nitpicky things.) no matter what it is, so I sat down on this one and made an effort to see what I was ignoring about adoption v. abortion, because it's much more humane to adopt, isn't it? So I wanted to figure out what I could be missing that gave so many people grounds to say abortion is kinder than adoption. I don't agree that it is, I don't agree that this validates abortion, I just feel that this is one of those things I didn't want to see because it conflicted with my adoption v. abortion stand....except it doesn't for me, it just makes it a harder choice for a lot of people. I mean, I always wondered WHY adoption v abortion was rejected by many people, and now I found a reason. The system creates a societal need for something to be done, and one solution in today's society is abortion. I don't agree with it, I can't change it, but I want to be aware of why so many object to adoption and why there really are so many kids in the system; why these heart-sickening things don't apply to newborn babies like they do to other kids. I hear so many times, people only want babies. Well, what're you aborting, a full grown toddler? Teenager? Babies adopted out in infancy do not have the sorts of problems older kids do. Older kids are in the system not because they aren't wanted, but because there's conflict, and they can't be adopted until paper clears. This is more my response to, "Well adopt a kid in the system already," or, "It'll just end up never being adopted." The first one is usually not possible, and the second is usually not true.

Well, the country of Ishtampolitusmustuimopolus has a spot open, but you'd have to learn to speak Ishtampolitusmustuimopolise.

Hmm... that's a pretty good argument, however the main problem I have with that argument is simple: "Quality of Life". Yes, the quality of life is bad, but even when the child is kept the quality of life isn't exactly guaranteed to be better. I mean, you could look at ANY family and find flaws in it - whether it be in the parents, the neighborhood, how discipline is given out in the house... There is always flaws that you can point at and argue to tug at the heartstrings.

My friend Jamie? Father died when he was young. Got stuck with a stepfather that hates him.

My friend Allisha? Father was an abusive alcoholic. Mother remarried, but her now adoptive-father (The old father wanted him to adopt so he didn't have to pay child support) is still a pain in the rear and picks on her. Her mother isn't exactly cheery, either.

My friend Derrek? Born without a left ear. He sometimes faces ridicule from others who think that his lack of an ear looks strange.

Myself? Father that is a pathelogical liar and is constantly threatening, suing, stalking, stealing, and various other crimes against other people - usually my mother, though.


So basically, all of my friends and myself have one thing in common - we have had some thing(s) in our lives that have made things tough. Pointing out the weak points in adoption is a poor trump card to use because it's assuming that if a child is kept by the original parents that their life would be wonderful, and that adoption would ruin them for life. I would go out and point out some more people that I've known about, but they were people I knew for only a short time (a few months) so I don't really understand their life situations at all. (Though my one friend had an abusive alcoholic mother and father, and the mother seemed to be sleeping around casually. Like I said, though, I didn't understand the situation that well. And yes, those were her ORIGINAL parents.)

I'll leave my argument, weak as it is, at that. Adoption is not always evil, and it's not always pretty, either, but the same thing goes for life in general. Having a chance to change your life, make it into something great, is the choice of the person. Foster homes and orphanages may be scary places to grow up for eighteen years, and I certainly do think the system needs to be reformed, but it's definitely better than just killing someone to "put them out of their misery." I know that if I was dying from a leg being cut clean off my body and eaten by an alligator I'd still want to fight to survive - I wouldn't want someone walking by and shooting me in the head to put me out of my misery. =\ (Take me to the hospital to get me an artificial leg and some blood in my system, damn it. X_X;; )

Yeah, I had a debate with one of my friends last night about this, and she's pro-choice by situation (like most pro-choicers are) and she wasn't comfortable with the adoption idea because the adoption centers weren't exactly the best place in the world or the best life. I basically provided her an argument about how rough my life was and how I've made it, how being sent to an adoption center is better than growing up in the slums with barely anything to eat and crime all around you, and other similar situations. Unfortunately, sometimes adoption IS just the lesser of two evils, and sometimes it's the best thing you're going to get. The best alternative you could do is see if someone you know and trust would want to take care of the child, and you could have them adopt the child right away that way.

Prisons and adoption centers both need work though... one of my biggest problems arguing that the death penalty is wrong is that prisons are so luxurious, and one of my problems arguing abortion is wrong is that the adoption centers aren't exactly "warm and fuzzy". X_x;;

Yeah, unfortunately my biggest enemy in the GD lately has been trying to find a logical and common excuse that the Pro-Choicers have. So far, the only once is comfort in having that decision. Unfortunately, past that they don't even want to listen. One girl said "It's not the baby's fault you slept around but if you're raped you should be able to make the choice." So I said "So it's the baby's fault you went out at night alone and got raped because you were careless?" Her response? "Meh." I mean... GAH! They don't even care! That's what the frustrating part is. >_<