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 Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:39 pm
everyone is gone again =/
also, I think I may be a thread killer. How many threads are there where I'm the last one to post?
I think people see my name and are like "oh damn, she replied again. Not worth reading"
*sad face*
..am I annoying?
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:55 pm
I've been jobless and at home. Also, I've been trying to find people to date and failing at it...soooo yea, uneventful summer.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:00 pm
Zero Fail I've been jobless and at home. Also, I've been trying to find people to date and failing at it...soooo yea, uneventful summer.
except for the looking for someone to date part. I was talking to one person for almost a year now and I still have no clue where that relationship is going =p
Is it just hard to find people in your area?
Summers are rather uneventful sometimes =/ no fun
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:14 pm
It's hard to find people open minded to date a person in my situation. I've been looking for any sort of date for over a year, nothing. I'm on some dating sites, post personal ads and attend queer events.
Heck, I went to the local pride and was totally dissed. Not fun.
This summer isn't fun because well...I've been out of school for over a year and don't have a job. The job hunt has been a pain in the a**.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:23 pm
a person in your situation?
You were dissed at pride? As in harassed? Or just not accepted well or anything?
It's amazing how people that are supposed to be part of the LGBTQ community don't accept others that are in the community.
Ah, yea, that lull between school and career must be hard. And the way things are right now with unemployment, it must be even harder =/ I just try to google job openings in the area. But those are entry-level, I'm sure you're looking for something different?
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:29 pm
A woman seemed interested in me and when I told her my name and that she was trans it was as if she was uninterested right after that. I was also called "she" a lot at pride. It sucks.
A lot of the queer (non-straight) women I know are transphobic. I ended up losing a few friends when I realized I was trans. It happens more often than you would think. There are plenty of gay men and lesbians that won't date bisexuals, for instance.
Eh, I had a job as a children's photographer for 4 years. I was laid off in January when the company went bankrupt. They are not going to re-hire me. I've been looking but the same problem with finding love is the same problem with getting a job. I want to work as male and as well...myself but since my paperwork and legal documents say "F" and a female name employers don't have to go with what I say. Trying to find an LGBT friendly work environment is tough.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:43 pm
aww =/ I guess it would be kind of easy for some people to mistake one's gender? But dissing someone at pride for their gender seems especially rude =l I guess for some if they're very specific about not dating a specific gender and they think you're a female when you're really a male, it would fend them off?
Yea, I know some people in the community are like that. I guess in my head it just doesn't make sense and shouldn't be that way. It makes me upset cos I have friends all over the sexual orientation/ identity map, and when others give them looks or harass them it's obnoxious. And for others in the community to be the ones rejecting you is worse. The way I think about it is, we don't choose our gender identity or sexual orientation and we fight for others to see that, so dissing someone in the community is very backwards.
Yea, I can only imagine how difficult that must be =/ It would be hard enough as a homosexual, but the legality of having your correct sex involved must be even more difficult. Shouldn't you have laws defending you though? Or does it not apply unless you've had a physical sex change?
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:56 pm
My thoughts are that at pride it's assumed that people are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Since most people see me as a kind of "butch" lesbian they probably assume that's how I identify. It's just a guess. I just think that if a person sees another person and thinks "oooh, cute" then asks for more information aaaaand the conversation isn't horrible that it shouldn't matter...oh well.
It's screwed up, but that's kind of how things are.
There are only certain states with laws regarding unemployment and gender expression. Gender expression is a big thing with non-trans folks, too when it comes to a job. Like if you're a feminine guy and want to wear clothing that is considered a feminine/women's cut. You can get fired for that, or denied a job. You don't even have to say anything about your sexuality.
Some states in the US have employment protection based on sexual orientation, fewer states have laws for gender identity/expression. 21 states and DC have protection for sexual orientation and 14 states plus DC have protection for gender expression/identity. Since I don't have any sort of documentation agreeing that I need to be called "he" and "Kyle" nobody has to. I can be forced to use women's bathrooms (which has happened). I can be forced to wear a women's uniform (also has happened).
I was actually kicked out of a gay club for using the men's bathroom. The security guard said something like "you can't use this bathroom, guys only."
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:07 pm
Yea, that makes sense, I guess it's like what you said about transphobia withing the community. And just a general ignorance, we automatically assume someone is homosexual as opposed to transgendered, pansexual, or otherwise. That makes sense, I guess for some people that situation would be where they would decide whether or not their label really matters and how much they care about one's gender when it comes to dating. If you're attracted to someone, that's what you initially went on in initiating that conversation, and not that person's gender.
Yea, the world in general is screwed up. I guess it'll take a while to educate those in the community, and it's sad that it's even an issue.
Yea, expression is a big thing. I remember speaking to the president of the GSA at my school cos we wanted to do something about the dress code for prom. It said that males must wear tuxedos and the girls had to wear formal dresses. Their intentions may have been to make sure that everyone dressed formally, but they really excluded girls that may have wanted to wear a tux [like me] or men that wanted to wear a dress [like my friend]
Ah, I guess the laws are all over the place then? And just generally hard to enforce =/ It's stuff like this that makes me want to just do something, but I don't know what. We need someone to seriously review the laws and work harder for that I think, it tends to be a neglected issue sometimes I think.
Ugh, again, that's a ridiculous thing to happen because of the fact that it was a gay club
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:21 pm
Well, in my state (New York) there's a yearly event for LGBT legislation. I've been going for about 5 years. You talk to legislators about upcoming laws and tell them your story, and throw in some facts about the law and how it will help you and others. If you know of any upcoming laws for your state you can write letters or talk to the people that represent your area on a state level (assembly person and senator for your district). I even put the video from my sessions last year up on youtube.
There was the federal level law, ENDA. Originally it included gender expression but HRC at the very last minute revised it to get rid of gender expression. They claimed that it would be less likely to pass with gender expression. The law didn't pass for two reasons. There were people who were going to vote with gender expression but because of the change voted against it and others who wouldn't vote for it in the first place.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:27 pm
Oh, wow, okay. I've been trying to get involved politically but it's very difficult when I live at home with my parents. I can't exactly ask them to take me anywhere so I can do something about LGBTQ rights cos I'dd probably get odd looks promptly followed by yelling or a smack to the face or something =/ but I'm going to move out soon, so getting involved with legislators would be a good way of getting right in there. I'm in california, so I don't think it should be too hard? I get notifications about things like that, so I hope to ask around and see how I can be more involved, I want to be an activist and do something about how messed up everything is.
Ah, I heard about ENDA, and I wasn't aware of the retraction of gender expression in it? I guess HRC figured it would be easier to pass, bu that doesn't mean they needed to drop an entire chunk of people. =/ And yes, it seems that they did sort of screw themselves over even if they did help themselves a bit.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:31 pm
You can always write a letter. It doesn't take much time, you don't need to drive anywhere, and it could do a lot of good. California is one of the states that has protection for both gender identity/expression and sexual orientation but I'm sure there are other basic LGBT laws that need to be passed there.
HRC has screwed transgender people over a lot.
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:35 pm
Yea, I've heard that, I just need to stop being a lazy kid and write one then. Cos yes, there is always something that can be done. =] I feel like it's so dumb that the rights aren't just extended to us automatically, but I guess in civil rights there's often a fight.
Yea, you told me in another thread I think? And it's making me reconsider backing them so much =/ I mean, I appreciate what they do for the LGBQ community, but if they neglect the T, then that's an issue =/
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 5:46 pm
Lost_Forever_Soul everyone is gone again =/
also, I think I may be a thread killer. How many threads are there where I'm the last one to post?
I think people see my name and are like "oh damn, she replied again. Not worth reading"
*sad face*
..am I annoying? LOL!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:47 pm
NovemberDee Lost_Forever_Soul everyone is gone again =/
also, I think I may be a thread killer. How many threads are there where I'm the last one to post?
I think people see my name and are like "oh damn, she replied again. Not worth reading"
*sad face*
..am I annoying? LOL!!!!!!!!
I'll take that as a yes? or is it a no?
haha xp
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