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No Mystique, please, suicide is the last thing you should do....but...I know how you're feeling. I've had thoughts like that sometimes. If something just a bit too hard, or maybe I'm just too stressed and my families pushing all the wrong buttons, I start thinking like that. And...I can never bring myself to it. I've gotten to where if I'm holding a kitchen knife, my mind starts thinking things like "If I could just plunge this into my heart, it'll be done." or "What if I just cut my wrist? Or even slit my throat." Honestly...I've never told anyone this. Especially never my parents. And yeah....my dad is like that. Full on Christian, and whenever I talk about how cute yaoi or yuri is, he's like "No, those people are wrong. Something is wrong with them, and they need serious help." My mom...heh, at least she's the easy one. She's with me on how love doesn't matter on gender, anyone should be allowed to love anyone. But it's pretty hard for me too. Nowhere near yours, but I can at least think about how you feel. See, my very first kiss, and person I ever loved, was a girl. So I guess that's what started the feelings. But she's also a Christian, so she's like "I feel we did something wrong, so I can't do this anymore. I have to stay on the path of god." or whatever. And well...my best friend, I notice myself thinking about her in other ways than a friend. And I still have my boyfriend of course. It's just....I'm rather confused on how I think. I love him so much....but I can't seem to stop thinking about her too. Heh...but of course she's a Christian...again. Sigh....and I just realized I'm probably not even helping on your problems. I'm so sorry Mystique....I really don't know how to help you other than saying things like "you shouldn't do it" and "you'll go to hell for it", and I know I don't care about those things. Sigh...I really don't know...

*shrugs* Most people believe if you kill yourself, you go to hell. I think that might be true, but I don't know. Sigh, and yeah, I'd like to be a christian, but I just don't see the point in thinking love just has to be a boyXgirl relationship. It should be for anyone you feel love with. That's the point. Sigh...none of my parents know this about me. They both assume that I'm perfectly straight, and have none of these thoughts. Not even my closets friends know this. I feel like I can be more open here when I talk. I know...I'm not going to be judged. Heh...if you ever need to talk, I'll be here. I'm not going to judge you. Cause I love you for who you are, even if I'm still confused about myself -.-

Don't try it. I don't want to make you feel bad so first I'll share with you my reasons for trying all three.

I was off my meds, this made me suicidal, yet more intune with myself. It was there that I came to the realization that I was far more gay than straight, hence my bisexuality. I tried telling my WASP/liberal-but-actually-conservative as ******** parents.

They called me a nymphomaniac and tried to kick me out unless I "renounce" what I was.

Couple weeks later, I tried suicide. Three ways. I lied and told them it was because Of my dogs' chief and buddy's deaths.

Here is the part that's gonna be hard to hear for you. But you still need to read it.

It takes someone with more will to die than to live, by a vast, vast, VASTLY big gape between the two. And more willpower than is usually humanly possible.

The game systems, PS3, WII, and XBOX 360 and 3 generations before them are water resistant, you cant ever use them again, but they wont even shock you. Even if you put metal and soak yourself in water. This also goes for most modern appliances, and most bathrooms have a special cord slot so you can't use them for that unless you reset the breaker, and that only works for 15 min after.

The knife. You'll get woozy after you stab for the heart, because unless you stab in the right spot, right angle, it won't break, just cut at, your ribcage. You'll lose only enough blood to make you conk out, then you will be found, or scab over.

I'm sorry. It's not the way to do it. Just rough it out until you can move out. Get new friends if you have to. Find a secret way to be yourself. That's the only thing I can tell you.

It was two years back, I'm fine. I hope you get better though.

*smiles* I'm glad we're atleast doing something for you. I think as long as you have friends that'll stand by your side, you'll be fine. I'll never let anything like that happen to you Mystique. I love you, and I couldn't stand for that to happen *hugs tightly*

Any time Mystique. Any time you need to talk to someone, or you just want to vent, I'm here. Heh, I'm pretty weak, so all I seem to be able to do is listen and give love to people. That's all I can do, but if it's not worthless, then I'm happy

Thank you Mystique, that means a lot to me. But don't say "if". Say "when I survive", cause you will survive. You always will, with your friends around