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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:07 am
I just wanted to talk about this.
Now, people abort. That's a reality. It's sad, but that is a reality. Many people abort, and when they've aborted, that's it. We can't save that baby. You can't rewind life.
Now. I want to talk about what you would think of the people who've had abortions. Firstly, would you judge them? Would you think that they were killers? Well, they are, but that's not the point.
I want to know if you would judge a person for a choice they've already made, and that you can't change. I know people who've had abortions. But I don't think that they're horrible, reprehensible, people. They've made a bad decision, yeah, but do we have a right to judge them for that?
Just needed some feedback. What do you think?
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:45 am
never, believe it or not. I have never called anyone who has had or is considering an abortion a baby killer. If someone has had an abortion, I know they're going through hell or not. I can't tell which. Abortion doesn't sit right with most women when they have it done. I can understand wanting and choosing to abort, I can understand that very much, because it is hard to carry a baby to term and it's scary and I feel like, if any judgement's gonna move the person, it's her own and it'll be deadly. All the women I know who've aborted have regretted it and I usually refer them to project Rachel. There is absolutely no point being harsh to someone who's had an abortion, because if she's fine with it, nothing you can say is gonna change it. If she isn't, she's being more harsh on herself than anyone else possibly could be. Females who've aborted are victims of abortion to me. I get angrier at doctors and nurses, more often.
Edit: Hadn't even considered knowing someone who aborted and didn't regret it....everyone I know knows my position on abortion. If someone had one and didn't regret it, I'd probably think of that person differently. But then, I dunno, I don't think anyone who had one and didn't regret it could stand to be around me.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 12:12 pm
I have friends who have had abortions. While I try to support them, and remain friends with them, it's harder for me than if they hadn't. However they believe that it's okay, and I mean while I don't agree, I'm not going to just abandon them over it.
If abortion was illegal and they had an abortion that would be a different story however. In that senario the government would have deemed abortion not acceptable, and so I would consider myself hanging around with a murderer if it was illegal.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 2:27 pm
In my opinion, which anyone who has read my other posts in here will know isnt humble, Yes, you can judge.
I dated a girl once who had an abortion. I didn't find out about it until I was already in a committed relationship with the girl, needless to say i was pissed when I found, but continued dating her. The reasoning, she was genuinely sorry she did it. She felt horrible because she did it and wouldnt have done it had she had to do it over. I forgave her.
If she hadnt have been sorry, If she would have gotten stand-offish about it and said no she was better off without the baby. Yes, I can honestly say that i would have judged. You kill someone, that is the primary action, after that,wether they ask for forgiveness or not for their actions is what determines what I think of them.
No matter the circumstance, Abortion is wrong. However, those who are truly sorry deserve our forgiveness and understanding. If they are not sorry, then I have a few choice words for them I won't post.
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Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 8:37 am
My mother had a very good friend who had two abortions, and spoke of them as if she were undertaking a routine defecating session.
"Can you meet me for lunch today?" "No, I have to have an abortion. I'll meet up with you tomorrow."
THAT, I believe, is judgable to an extent. I try to refrain from excess judgement, but when someone admits to something of that magnitude and shows no regret, it's pretty damn sad. Still, you gotta wonder if she's a victim of society as a whole...after all, rape and murder of a being outside of the womb is still considered wrong, whereas an abortion is becoming increasingly acceptable. It doesn't carry the stigma that other "murder" does.
I do not believe in relative morals, however, so I would not accept her point of view. If it were a close friend, I would go to pains to explain why it is wrong...and yes, if a person had an abortion and shows genuine regret, I am less inclined to judge them. Also, it depends on the circumstances. In the case of rape or endangerment of the mother's life (especially the latter) I would be unlikely to pass judgement at all.
I have no problem being harsh with those who show no regret.
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Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:48 pm
Man... I've only used the term "baby-killer" once, that I can think of. I told my friend that I wouldn't vote for Al Gore during the first election of Bush, because I wouldn't vote for a "baby killer".
Turned out my friend was Pro-Choice. sweatdrop I've learned my lesson. I don't believe that we should judge them as horrible people, because I think it's someone's character that makes them good or bad. If they, knowing it was a bad thing, had an abortion, and didn't regret it... Then I would definitely judge them badly. Otherwise, I'd be sad, but I wouldn't judge them as evil. I'd probably avoid the subject with them.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 6:36 pm
If it was a close friend of course my view would change on them. I would've wished they made a better decision, but the you're right. Time cannot be turned backwards. I think I would tell the person my opinion without trying to get into an argument. If they didn't feel bad about it and I still wanted to be their friends, I would leave the subject alone.
But, if it was someone I didn't know I would wonder how we even got into a conversation about them having an abortion. I think I also would tell them my opinion and if they didn't like I would walk away. To be truthful, I would sorta kinda judge them.
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Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:01 pm
I wouldn't judge someone for their past...especially if they felt regret for their decision.
I've used the term "Murderer" and "baby-killer" before though >_<
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Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 3:03 am
I have known 2 people, both coworkers, who have had abortions. One was not regretful at all. She knew exactly how I felt before she was even pregnant and she new why I was against abortion, but she took the time to talk to me about it. I tried to be supportive and I told her that she should wait since there wasn't a reason to have the abortion but she did it anyway and I was really hurt. I was nice to her but I couldn't really look at her without thinking of that baby being ripped apart. She got pregnant again shortly after and she kept that baby. Then she quit and I never heard from her again.
The other girl I was a little closer to and she also knew how I felt about abortions. At least she avoided the topic around me.
I really feel bad for all those women who make the choice and then realize that they can't go back. They need support and help in getting passed the guilt and regret. Women who feel completely justified in their actions also deserve to be treated with kindness but that doesn't mean that you have to act like everything is OK. I'm catholic and I believe that we can't judge people because then we will be judged with the same harshness. But I have to say that there have been many times when I just go off by myself and cry.
I wouldn't call them "baby killers" though.
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Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:26 am
I think that one thing pro-lifers have to understand (Although from the looks of it, most of them do.) is that in todays society most people are brought up under the pretense that abortion is a perfectly acceptable option that's available to them.
Behavior is learned. If you're taught that it's perfectly okay to beat your wife, you're going to beat your wife or at least be okay with the idea. If you're taught it's okay to steal, you're going to steal or at least be okay with stealing. Some people's opinions evolve and change after time and with reasoning however.
So when people are brought up in a society that deems abortion to be perfectly acceptable they're going to do it, or be okay with people doing it. While we don't agree, and we should try and perhaps change their stand, by judging them we do nothing. We should be judging society and not the individual women.
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Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:56 am
toxic_lollipop I think that one thing pro-lifers have to understand (Although from the looks of it, most of them do.) is that in todays society most people are brought up under the pretense that abortion is a perfectly acceptable option that's available to them.
Behavior is learned. If you're taught that it's perfectly okay to beat your wife, you're going to beat your wife or at least be okay with the idea. If you're taught it's okay to steal, you're going to steal or at least be okay with stealing. Some people's opinions evolve and change after time and with reasoning however.
So when people are brought up in a society that deems abortion to be perfectly acceptable they're going to do it, or be okay with people doing it. While we don't agree, and we should try and perhaps change their stand, by judging them we do nothing. We should be judging society and not the individual women. Amen to that!
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 5:56 am
Mcphee I just wanted to talk about this.
Now, people abort. That's a reality. It's sad, but that is a reality. Many people abort, and when they've aborted, that's it. We can't save that baby. You can't rewind life.
Now. I want to talk about what you would think of the people who've had abortions. Firstly, would you judge them? Would you think that they were killers? Well, they are, but that's not the point.
I want to know if you would judge a person for a choice they've already made, and that you can't change. I know people who've had abortions. But I don't think that they're horrible, reprehensible, people. They've made a bad decision, yeah, but do we have a right to judge them for that?
Just needed some feedback. What do you think? I always live by the saying "The past is the past - it's time to look to the future." If a person has had an abortion, I'm definitely not going to think much of them, that's a fact. However, I wouldn't judge them - I'd merely try to change their mind about abortion - especially if they ever got pregnant again. I can't bring back a dead baby, a dead cow, a dead deer, or anything that is dead. What's been done has been done, and that's reality for you. However, what we say and do now and change how people look upon issues such as abortion, so I'm all for trying to change that person's mind about it - to convince them that killing a child for one's own sake is a selfish and heartless act that should never be done.
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 7:33 pm
Mcphee I just wanted to talk about this.
Now, people abort. That's a reality. It's sad, but that is a reality. Many people abort, and when they've aborted, that's it. We can't save that baby. You can't rewind life.
Now. I want to talk about what you would think of the people who've had abortions. Firstly, would you judge them? Would you think that they were killers? Well, they are, but that's not the point.
I want to know if you would judge a person for a choice they've already made, and that you can't change. I know people who've had abortions. But I don't think that they're horrible, reprehensible, people. They've made a bad decision, yeah, but do we have a right to judge them for that?
Just needed some feedback. What do you think? well, I say this as a Roman Catholic, I would not think that they are a terrible person, especially if they have gone to confession, but I would probably feel awkward around them for a while.
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 11:05 pm
Everyone here feels so strongly against abortion and yet are all willing to forgive those who have done it if they truly regret it. I enjoy the fact that you all believe that human beings are capable of learning from their mistakes, even if it's at the cost of a life. I agree that I would forgive (though not forget) but when you do something once it's often easier to do it again rather than taking another route.
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 11:34 pm
Theallpowerfull Everyone here feels so strongly against abortion and yet are all willing to forgive those who have done it if they truly regret it. I enjoy the fact that you all believe that human beings are capable of learning from their mistakes, even if it's at the cost of a life. I agree that I would forgive (though not forget) but when you do something once it's often easier to do it again rather than taking another route. I think it comes down to supporting women who are sorry for their abortions because if WE don't, no one will. These women already have realized their mistake, and regret the loss of their child. If we condemn them (and I know no one here was saying to do that), and the pro-aborts tell them that what they did was no big deal, they feel totally abandoned. Programs like http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/ and http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/ are essential to helping post-abortive women heal. speaking from experience here.... sad
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