|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:27 pm
 They had walked. They had walked more than Adam cared to remember, walked far away from that strange wolf with his stranger accessory and strangest ideas. Wolves as gods, strong and weak, and the most mental power he had ever used up in a long time. And a scary, scary vision of what should have been turning to what it was now, a happy Kalama into the brooding figure he saw, and Venda, who was doing so well, quickly growing into a frightening snarling figure attempting to exact her revenge upon the wolf who had ruined her vision in the first place.
Too much in too few days for him. And so they traveled away and didn't look back, Adam mostly keeping silent while he let his mind rest, every once in a while tossing Venda a bright-eyed look with a wag of the tail to show that he hadn't been that affected by what he witnessed . . . Really. He didn't realize the extent of the damage until that night when, after a chaotic stream of half-memory, half-dream collided about in his imagination, he woke up expecting to find himself in a rainbow field in flames smothered by the smoke that couldn't leave the jungle canopy with the horned wolf of his nightmares cackling right above him and the dreaded lynx that had scarred him as a teen at the thing's side with a terrible gleam in her eye -
But no. He woke up with a yelp to nothing more than a quiet landscape in darkness. No sound beyond the chirrups of insects around them or the occasional stirring behind a leaf by wind. No color beyond the cools of every dark color imaginable. No immediate danger. Yet despite the summer climate, Adam shivered and did his best to shift away without making a sound; hopefully he didn't wake Venda up with his startled yip.
Which was silly, he remembered belatedly. He couldn't make a sound. The yelp had all been in his mind, like everything else he could do . . .
He moved away just enough to sit by the river they used to help direct them and bent his head, closing his eyes. Was Kalama alright? He didn't know how to scout for minds who were still asleep. In fact, he didn't know how to do a lot of things nearly as well as he should have by now . . . It was made painfully obvious with their encounter with Dante. Maybe his gift wasn't being used right; maybe that's why God gave him that horrible nightmare. Was it hypocritical, to give Venda so much advice about positivity in her life when he himself was getting down now? Or worse, for him to begin to feel doubt about his faith when he had preached (or attempted to preach) to Venda only days before about the wonderfulness of knowing He was there?
But then, if God was so loving, why did he let wolves like Dante gain that gift? Abuse it even?
Giving a soft huff to substitute for a whine, he docked his ears and tried to return to the prayers his mother had taught him to pray when things looked down. His mind was still a little tender, but he could endure the pain with the adrenaline still pumping through him from his nightmare. Why, Lord, do you stand at a distance and pay no heed to these troubled times? Arrogant scoundrels pursue the poor; they trap them by their cunning schemes. Yet their affairs always succeed; they ignore your judgment on high; they sneer at all who oppose them. They say in their hearts, "We will never fall; never will we see misfortune . . ."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 3:57 pm
 Venda was a strong seer, too strong maybe for her own good, but she was wild and unpredictable. She had little to no control over her abilities only able to fling them about at times without realizing how much velocity they had behind them. It had been like that with Adam and she felt badly for it, she had hurt him and he was still young. It troubled her because she saw more pain in his future, the red one would hurt him and yet she was loathe to warn him. Why cause him suffering before then, perhaps she could soften the blow for him...when the red one left maybe she could keep him company for a spell. Company...ha! she was hardly fit company for anyone not even herself. A dull throb radiated from behind her left ear and she sighed softly only half asleep. Vision fluttered past her mind some pleasant and others violent, past and future and perhaps some present events that were happening far away from her.
She lifted her head as Adam shifted and inhaled slowly, the night was pleasantly warm. She slowly sat up as she felt the male move away and her ears pricked as she tilted her head in his direction. She would have tried to push into his mind, to find what troubled him but she had no desire to intrude, rather she wanted him to be open if he desired. "Can't sleep?" She murmured softly.
Restless nights...and days...and weeks were simply a part of her routine. She could only tell that it was daylight when she felt the sun on her fur, She had learned to understand it was night when certain insects began their songs. It was a timeless ever changing world she lived in. She cringed a bit as she felt a sharp stabbing pain at the back of her neck. She tensed and felt her paws clutch at the earth. Why, Lord, do you stand at a distance and pay no heed to these troubled times? Arrogant scoundrels pursue the poor; they trap them by their cunning schemes. Yet their affairs always succeed; they ignore your judgment on high; they sneer at all who oppose them. They say in their hearts, "We will never fall; never will we see misfortune . . ."
She shook her head and slowly dropped herself back on the ground her paws coming up over her muzzle as the pain throbbed and slowly faded. Hmm, it seemed she had done a poor job of keeping out of the boys mind, his words were crystal clear in hers.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 1:18 pm
He did not start at the sound of her voice, rather deep in his meditation by the time Venda piped in. Would it be a good idea to share the visions he kept seeing? Not only those that Dante had forced into his mind, but those that had haunted him prior? Or maybe she already knew . . . Adam underestimated how powerful her visions and, by proxy, intuition was. Yet she had kept a polite distance in conversation ever since their last encounter with the dreadful seer and his hissing lackey. It didn't mean he liked it though . . . Silence was an awful thing in these circumstances, at least to the young male.
Deciding it was best to at least respond back once, Adam began to reach out a tentative probe with some form of a weak joke - unfortunately at that precise moment, despite not being directly in contact with Venda's mind, he felt a portion of the sudden pain she experienced; so early for his recovering mind to experience in its raw form, he overreacted. Not even retreating his mind and locking it was enough: no, Adam even backpedaled awkwardly into the water, making an inordinate amount of noise between the splashes and his clumsiness earning him a literal trip into the shallow river.
Sure, it was only about half-leg deep for most, but Adam was a runtish thing. He could almost float in the river if he wanted. The initial shock wearing off and the water shaken from his eyes, he could see the darkened green stripes settled back down, the heart-marking on Venda's nose nearly obscured by other dark things (probably her paws). Was she ashamed? She wasn't the only one if so.
Sheepishly wading out of the water, Adam sat back where he was, not bothering to shake himself even as he docked his ears with embarrassment. Had his prayers wakened her, or his movement away? And if so, did that cause the spasm? He winced, both from those thoughts and from the residual headache he was getting from overexerting the mental lock; that was released quickly enough with an inward, tired sigh. Was he really so useless?
'Sorry . . .' It was a weak voice. 'I didn't mean . . . C-Can I get you something?'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:14 pm
Venda felt the pain slowly recede and wincing she moved her paws away from her muzzle. She tried to force herself back up to at least a sitting position. Her legs shook under her slender frame and she drew a shaking breath. Her ears rang with the sudden splashing sound and she cringed.
"Adam...are you alright? Don't be sorry...I should have left you be, I only wanted to know what was troubling you? Does...does your head still hurt?" She asked softly wondering if she might have caused somekind of permanent damage. She didn't know what she could do, or what she couldn't. The curse of sight was something she allowed to control her rather then attempting to control it. Only in rare moments of need did she try to grasp her power and make it of any use.
"You are troubled...because of Dante?" She half guessed, she herself was greatly troubled not only by Dante's words, but by her own words and actions. When had revenge become to important to her? Was it because she didn't have anything else in her life? She had left behind friends, given up on any future family, all she wanted was revenge. She thought of Phobos, who had been so kind to her and helped her before the sight had ever come upon her. She thought of Stryder who had been such a good friend, she hoped his family was well sometimes she caught little glimpses of his children, grown now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 2:35 pm
He did think briefly she was going to leave then and there. There wasn't much holding them together anyway: just a growing mutual friendship, most likely born from their kinship as seers. There was no external reason for Venda to stick around beyond that, though . . . And Adam feared if things like this kept happening, she might very well go back to that loner lifestyle again; something he had to prevent.
'Y-Yeah, Dante,' he replied as water dripped down his muzzle, tilting his ears back. 'How does he - I mean, where did he get that crazy idea about gods?' The male was tentative now, with less of that unbelieving tone from before - now he was beginning to show his doubts. 'And . . . A-And how did he . . .?' Adam couldn't even finish the sentence, but his thoughts spoke for him through the veil of his headache: the vague images of Kalama's old pack throw to the wind, the memory of how it had terrified him, literally pained him to be forced to watch even. A shudder passed through him.
Was that how it really happened? He had never looked so deeply into Kalama's mind to find out . . .
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:53 pm
"Who knows where ideas come from...stories, manipulations, memories he may have seen in the mind of another more sick and deranged then he. His power is like ours, yet it's not, none of us is exactly like the other. You use your gift one way, my curse affects me another, and Dante wields his power in a way you wouldn't dream of." She sighed softly and lowered her head uncertainly her paws sliding forward as she tried to lap at the water.
For a moment she just lapped at the air until her tongue finally touched the water and she drank. Life for her was full of little guesses, always hoping she wasn't about to make a fatal mistake. She finished and swallowed pulling back away and turning her head in Adam's direction as her ears tipped forward.
"You can't let the things he said get to you..." She murmured softly half for Adam and half for herself. She hated Dante for showing her how cruel she had become. Did she really want to kill that spineless yellow wolf for what he had done? Yes...and she felt no remorse in the thought of cold murder, she wanted her revenge even if she knew it was wrong.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:31 am
'I know, but . . .' The problem was that they were. Easily, like worms in dirt wriggling their way through, blind but with purpose. Never had he been confronted so. Never had he stopped to wonder why he believed in what he did . . . Religion was religion. It had always been there, taught to him since the day his mother recognized he was not as disabled as she believed. The first true lesson she had ever given him, before hunting even. God had been what finally bridged mother to son. Adam wanted to believe that meant He was perfect. That was the entire basis of his belief.
Now this was throwing a branch in the works.
Just as he had idealized his deity, so too had he done so for Venda. For all her pain and suffering, he wanted to think that she was like him: burdened but still walking, hiding her own optimism surely behind that sardonic manner. He'd never asked how it happened, only accepting that she was racked by painful visions. The past was supposed to be past . . . Adam was guilty for fearing her in that one instant, though, in that moment of startling truth: that she actually wanted to kill someone.
His little rose-colored world was cracking, and he didn't know how to act.
'It isn't right . . . None of that was right,' Adam said after a while, lowering his gaze helplessly. 'Why would anyone . . . ?' He didn't know how to phrase it. Suddenly he had the image of himself in a corner, watching a veil being lifted before his eyes - and the wind behind it was mighty cold. 'It's . . . It's not just Dante. I keep having these dreams, these nightmares about a big horned wolf with red eyes, and this other wolf who's smaller but colder, and around them are goblins and overgrown spiders!' he found himself blurting. 'I don't know why, but it terrifies me anytime one of them look at me in the dream, and I want to stop it but can't . . .'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:49 pm
Venda moved towards Adam until she bumped against him, she sat and lifted her paw up around his shoulders giving him a soft nuzzle. It had been so long since she had contact of anykind, but in that moment she could feel Adam's pain. It wasn't because of her ability, she felt it in her heart, with a females instinct a sensation of caring for another living being.
"Shh...don't be afraid..." She softly nuzzled his neck trying to soothe him, he might be full grown but she could sense that he still needed something, answers, guidance. He was so good and trusting...too trusting, and if she didn't watch for him then his fate could be worse then her own. Already she knew the red female would abandon him, turn her back on him. How would he react when the care and surrogate mother he had known from pup-hood left him?
She thought of her abilities, of the things she had realized she could do, even Dante had seen a power in her beyond what she herself had seen. She had somehow shielded Adam even after she had lashed out at him, perhaps she ought to stay and continue to shield him in more ways then one.
"There is good in this world, but there is wickedness too, you can't help what you see. Nightmares, visions, you can't let them rule you Adam you must learn to leave them where they are and focus on your life and the present." She had some focusing to do as well it seemed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 10:20 pm
'I-I'm sorry. I'm not . . . I don't mean to . . .'
Focus.
Yeah . . . He was rambling too much. The consequence of being so blind, so naive: the dam had a hole, and so much wanted to rush out that he didn't know where to begin - hence just speaking whatever gushed out first.
Focus.
The nuzzling certainly helped, though Adam was surprised by the affectionate gesture. Venda wasn't the type to, well, touch other wolves, he thought. She liked her distance, emotionally, physically, sometimes mentally even . . . He let out whatever breath he was holding and closed his eyes. Nuzzling like Mother. Like Feather even, the softest of his litter in every aspect.
And somewhat like Kalama, he wanted to think; the alpha had never actually nuzzled him, but her other actions spoke for themselves. Though ever since the incident with Lite Brite's family, she had become colder . . . Would she stay with him and Venda? Or would she strike out on her own again? No, no he couldn't let that happen either, he couldn't let either of these wolves drift from him. He just wanted to help her, knew that he could if she asked . . . If there were fifty other wolves from her old pack she wanted to find, by golly Adam would not miss a heartbeat in agreeing to find them if it meant Mama Kalama would stay with him still. The look on her face, though, the disbelief, the disappointment, the sheer loss of hope in one brief expression -
Focus!
From spiders to Kalama's calamities, goblins to his own greed. Was that what it was, greed to want these women to stay with him always? Probably. Oh but no, Adam was the golden boy, the do-gooder, the goofball whose smile made things better! Nothing bad should ever happen to him. He fixed things. He prayed for wolves. In fact, nothing at all was happening to him right now, just those recollections of the nightmares and the mindscrew haunting him - he was letting them haunt him. Weaknesses . . .
Focus!
And then all was quiet again in his mind. nothing but the night sounds of the crickets and the leaves swaying in the wind. With his closed eyes pressing tighter closed, the young male gently turned his snout into her neck and sat there with Venda in silent thanks for her presence. At length, he asked quietly, 'Will you pray with me?'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:14 am
"Shhh, it's alright, nothing here is going to hurt you..." Considering she was the only one around...and she had no intention of hurting him, or scaring him again. It was so strange to her, her skin felt odd and tingly, she hadn't touched another wolf, hadn't been so close in so long. Softly she gave him another nuzzle and waited until he had calmed a bit.
Then his words echoed in her mind Will you pray with me? she wasn't sure what to say. She was silent for a moment before softly nodding against his neck.
"If you tell me the words to say...I'll pray with you." Though by now she had a feeling that Adams prayers weren't just about words. The young male had faith in those words, faith in something greater...a faith she might never have. If there was a greater power above them, then it had been cruel to her, and she did not fancy placing her faith in it ever again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:47 pm
Mayhaps their minds were mingling a little bit more than either was expecting, but Adam somehow knew of that last thought she had, that lack of faith. Earlier he had wanted to prove there was some purpose to it, that there was a reason that Venda had suffered at someone else's paws. Now? Now he just couldn't find his stance on it. No-one should have that happen to them, no-one . . . And then Adam wondered if he too should begin to question his own situation.
Why had he been born half-blind? Why had he been born mute? Why had his family been scattered, maybe killed, just because humans hadn't put out that fire right? Why wasn't his father around?
Why was he letting Kalama use him for that matter? Surely if she cared that much for her packmembers she would be actively finding them on her own instead of making him do it for her. She didn't even think so highly of him even, always judging him because he wasn't particularly bright colored, always calling him "runt", only being happy whenever he did something right for her . . .
Adam didn't like inviting these darks thoughts, but they just seemed to rise up like the dead, buried no longer. Such was the consequence of bottling them up, thinking "out of sight, out of mind" . . . He swallowed hard, downing the emotion back into his stomach where it wrestled his insides, and kept his face pressed into Venda's fur. 'But that's the thing . . . I don't know what to say. I-I don't know if I should ask for more patience, or ask for strength, or . . . or just ask why. Or ask anything at all.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:59 pm
It was...strange un-nerving almost for her to see how shaken Adam was, that hope was being doused inside of him. A part of her told her it was for the best, the sooner he realized that no great power would protect and save the better. He had to lean to stand on his own two paws, to fight those who would harm him or use him. Yet part of her cried out, told her it was wrong, who was she to kill faith, to destroy innocence like his? How could she fix it though, his eyes were open now and what could ever close them again.
She reached out unthinkingly her mind softly brushing his with tender memories. Litha a white and brown wolf being reunited with her family after a long time with humans. Pups of every gender, color, and size being born into loving families and packs. A pink wolf, so familiar looking to Adam, curled up with her grown children and grandchildren all around. Two sisters long since divided being reunited speaking words of peace. Slowly she drew back and simply nuzzled him. Maybe it was just enough to know that for all the horrible visions they had...somewhere in the world some good was still happening.
"Come...come here and lay down..." She softly nudged him her own paws scrambling to find clear ground. "it's been a long day..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 2:14 pm
He passively watched, already curled on the ground inside his mind. The memories were projected on the dark ceiling like an old-fashioned film, had he known what that was, playing slide-by slide. Adam seemed most receptive to being reminded of the pink wolf, the one with hearts and the squirrel who had been there with him at the Sacred Oak. Who'd also been chosen, though whether shaman or seer he wasn't sure. But he did remember her name at least, the kindly Libenalas who already had been exuding a strong loving aura before the ceremony.
There was good and there was bad. The problem was, which of it did the world have more of?
His head was starting to throb again. 'It's been a long night more like,' he answered, still subdued as he slowly got back on his paws to follow her. He didn't feel tired, yet at the same time he was exhausted. His body wanted sleep, but his mind remained animated despite the pain. Adam was also afraid that forcing himself to sleep now would encourage another nightmare, truth be told. But he didn't want to keep Venda up just because he was apparently having a crisis of faith all of a sudden.
'I can keep watch while you sleep. I don't feel like sleeping really right now . ..'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 5:30 pm
"Yes it has...you have to sleep Adam, if your not well rested your mind will weaken, you'll only be more susceptible to dark thoughts and nightmares." She nudged him a bit harder this time trying to convince him to lay down.
"I'll help you..." She murmured softly and slowly she slid into his mind, for a moment the connection wavered and she feared she would thrust her pain on him. She struggled for a few minutes and her body shook before she slowly started to wrap around his mind. She reached far back in time into the minds of tiny sleeping pups borrowing from their deep pleasant dreams and blanketing Adams mind. For a moment she was afraid of herself, what was this power she dared to use on another? Had she become uncontrolled? She as going to force Adams mind to rest...was it right? It was for his good...but how many had justified misdeeds by claiming they were for a greater good? This was different though...this was different...letting Adam have a few hours of peaceful slumber would cause no harm.
Slowly she moved to lay down beside him her mind merged with his, it was a bit draining but luckily that simply made her more tired, and combined as she was with him...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 5:48 pm
'No really, it's fiiii . . .' And then he found himself yawning, though he tried to shake it off. Not really a good option since the source of his sleepiness was now from something insubstantial, but fight he did. Somewhat. Much like a kitten would struggle against one of its mother's paws when pinned. Where did the wave of sleep come from? He had been feeling awake up until now . . .
The more active part of Adam's mind concluded it was Venda's meddling, which it thought was rather devious (the black wolf's most recent words apparently hadn't registered in his doped up brain) and wasn't very much a fan of. Let him stay up, why don't ya . . . Yaaaawn.
He swayed a little, eyelids drooping. Good spot. Yeah, good spot here. Adam all but plopped down by Venda, scooting right against her with a shudder. It was so cold that night . . . He might have enjoyed it more if they had been in a den, with a full belly, or at least snow to gambol in. But nope, just cold and some wind. His limbs curled inward under him as much as possible, making him look legless as he stuck himself to Venda, helpless.
'I'm sorry about this,' he whispered in her mind, drowsy. I didn't mean . . . to cause trouble . . .'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
