Daddy Issues | Page 1 | The Advice Room | Guild Forums

Zenally

4,700 Points

0
0
0

Offline

Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 12:38 pm

Zenally needs help!

So here's the problem. My dad, to be totally honest, bugs the living crap outta the whole family. My mom ignores it for the most part until she her pent up energy goes sour, my brother falls into tears all too offten nowadays because my dad yells at him so much, and I descend to varying levels of anger and pissyness.

I get it the worst because I clash with him the most. You see, he absolutely love humiliating me and intentionally pushing my buttons and annoying me as much as he can. Every little thing that makes me mad he does just for a reaction. He goes as far as to tease my friends behind their backs! Also, really likes control and order and I tend to be more free willed and chaotic. I never like being tied down and he always needs to have every little thing under his eye.

Our conversations often go something like this:
Me: Can I go watch TV?
Dad: Of coarse not, your room's filthy! No screens until it's clean!
Me: But (insert brothers name here)'s room isn't any better and he's playing video games!
Dad: No, look at how tidy his bookshelves are!
Me: And his floor is covered with stuff. Anyway, my room is fine!
Dad: Either way, the dog has to be walked today, and I won't let you do anything else first.
Me: But I just got home from Color Guard practice and I'm all sore!
Dad: GOD IT'S JUST ONE COUNTER AFTER ANTHER WITH YOU!! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
Me: *thinks that your suposed to counter in an arguement* The dog won't die because he missed one walk!
Dad: DON'T YOU GIVE ME ATTITUDE! I SWEAR WHAT IS WITH YOU LATELY?! I HATE HAVING TO YELL! YOU NEED TO SHOW MORE RESPECT! *barges into my room and steals ipod, phone, and laptop*YOU CAN HAVE THIS BACK WHEN YOU LEARN TO DO AS YOUR TOLD! scream
Brother: *snickers*
Dad: THAT'S NOT POLITE!!!
Brother: *crys* emo
Me: But I didn't do anything wrong! crying
Dad: OH! DON'T EVEN TRY TO PLAY INNOCENT!
Me confused ??
Dad: DON'T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!!!
Me: ??? But I... *said without meaning* I'm sorry okay?
Dad: Whatever, just don't push right now!

Sorry that was long! But honestly, that was very accurate! I've tried talking to him, but he just gets mad. So I talked to my mom about it but she doesn't like confronting him, which I don't understand. seeing as they almost got divorced last summer when he cheated on her. Even when she does do something, he'll talk to me about how we're both at fault and how he'll not do things just to piss me off. But it's like he gets amnesia and forgets what he says! Then he'll go right back to his old ways.

He did used to be like this, but just been getting worse and worse. Now he's just intolerable and I hide in my room until he makes me do chores. Me and my brother both think he's poison to the family, and we think our mom does to too but wont admit to us. There's so much tension, especially between me and my dad, and I don't know where else to turn. Can anyone see a way out that I haven't? Or can anyone relate?

PS: I know this seems bad posting so close to Father's Day, but it's the first chance I've had this summer to write so much! Sorry! sweatdrop

Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 6:39 pm

¢ιηηαмση тσαѕт_ѕayѕ ;

You should probably talk to an adult who you can trust that will do something about it (Like a teacher or a school counsel)

You can also talk to many hotlines or kids help phone
Im sorry If I cant be much help but thats the best i could give

But I highly suggest you tell a adult you can trust about this
If the adult doesnt do anything then keep telling somebody till they do something about it

Anyway best wishes heart User Image

It's a girl thing / Bootygrabs

Cinnamon Toaast
Crew

5,050 Points

100
100
100

Offline

Zenally

4,700 Points

0
0
0

Offline

Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 5:32 pm

It makes alit of sense, asking an adult, but unless it's some boss (he has no boss at the moment) he has, it really has to be an adult whos opinion he values. And since I don't know the Dahli Lhama, I can't think of any adult who would agree with me and actually be able to get the message through his skull. As for hotlines, well, any number he doesn't recognize will show up on the Verizon website and he'll quiz me about the number. My guess is he wouldn't be to peachy-keen on me calling a parental help hotline. stare

Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:24 pm

I have had similar problems with my father. But since the divorce between my parents, he's gotten a little more mellow. Now, it's almost like he's bi-polar. I think he might just be keeping all of his emotions bottled up inside until he explodes. Now, I'm not saying that your mother (or you and your brother, as well) are the cause of his stress, but certainly SOMETHING is causing his anger.
Perhaps there are activities you could do together that would give you a chance to improve your relationship. Does he like golf? Or watching the football game?
When people are doing things they love, I find that they tend to be more understanding.
Also--and no offense here--maybe sometimes you SHOULD just do what he tells you. He is your father, after all. And when you're old enough and you make enough money to live far away, you can give him merry (or not-so-merry) hell at Thanksgiving or during phone calls. But until then, you're going to have to find a way to make him see you as his child, not as his target for anger.
I hope this advice helps.

Kleopatra Selene

Offline

Tumbling Stars
Vice Captain

5,000 Points

100
100
200

Offline

Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:01 pm

Truthfully, what I would say, is that you need to actually talk to your mom and convince her to get a divorce. He is horrible to your family by bringing so much stress, anger, and sadness! Fathers are not suppose to bring those kind of feelings. Try to get your mother to divorce him. I think you will be better off. And try to do extra things so you don't have to be home to see him. I;m sorry you are going through this! sad

I know how it is...
If you need to talk you can PM me...

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:29 am

This is all good advice. I'm just tiered of treasuring the moment when he's away and feeling guilty about it later. The thing is, Kleopatra was right about the bipolar thing. He's still sucking up to my mom after what happened last year, but apparently he doesn't think it matters to the rest of us. So he thinks it's okay if he gets mad at us because we can't hardly do a thing. And I think that because he gets these back pains and lost his job he can't help but let steam out somehow. That's when he gets all unreasonable. So your right, I could just do whatever he says, but I'm not going to change my morals just because he's feeling ornery.

As far as divorce goes, well, I'm not convinced my mom would go for it. Plus he has no where to go, and since he's not physically abusive, my mom probably wouldn't win full custody, meaning I'd have to spend time alone with him without mom. eek Don't get me wrong my mom still gets mad at him sometimes, but she knows how to calm him down, too.

Zenally

4,700 Points

0
0
0

Offline

llxStarscreamxll

Chatty Seeker

8,150 Points

0
0
0

Offline

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:26 pm

well when your father and you have a fight again..yell to him to the top of your lungs and say,''YOUR NOT BEING FAIR! YOU ALWAYS LET MY BROTHER ALWAYS DO WHAT HE WANTS! YOUR THE REASON WHY THIS WHOLE PLACE IS GOING TO DOWN! IF YOUR GONNA KEEP DOING THIS......THEN JUST GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW! I HATE YOU!''

Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 1:53 pm

Carolina says...
hey, at least u have a dad crying User Image

iKawaiiKyle

5,150 Points

200
200
250

Offline

LovleyDezzy_10

Offline

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:27 pm

Zenally......................................
At least you have a dad that supports you in everthing you do and Doesnt miss events that are important!
JUST DEAL WITH IT HONEY!! heart heart

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:56 pm

HL2Fan

well when your father and you have a fight again..yell to him to the top of your lungs and say,''YOUR NOT BEING FAIR! YOU ALWAYS LET MY BROTHER ALWAYS DO WHAT HE WANTS! YOUR THE REASON WHY THIS WHOLE PLACE IS GOING TO DOWN! IF YOUR GONNA KEEP DOING THIS......THEN JUST GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW! I HATE YOU!''

Saying that will make things worse.
Much worse.
neutral

Music Breaks Hearts

Wheezing Sex Symbol

Offline

sun kuran7

5,550 Points

200
250
100

Offline

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 7:39 am

you really should tell your mom if she doesn't do anything , you should tell adult from your school .

Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:29 pm

wow! some dad! your dad has some serious issues but here's the thing is: you can't have a dad like this, try standing up for yourself here's an example

Me:dad...
Dad:what is it!!! can't you se-
Me biggrin AD!!!! seriously how can you act like this what are you a beast!!!! this is NOT how you take care of kids! when was the last time you showed affection to us!!! *careful when yelling*
Dad: eek you could be right...i'm sorry *your name*
Me: i'm sorry dad.
Dad:it's ok
biggrin biggrin

so try talking to your dad.

shuvra227

4,700 Points

100
100
100

Offline

TheBeatlesLiveForEver

2,600 Points

50
100
100

Offline

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:21 am

my parents get in fights over something stupid or my brother and my mom wont listen to my dad so when its done he comes and tells me everything he said

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:38 pm

LovleyDezzy_10

Zenally......................................
At least you have a dad that supports you in everthing you do and Doesnt miss events that are important!
JUST DEAL WITH IT HONEY!! heart heart

Maybe. No offense, but I think that if he were supportive, he wouldn't tell me that color guard was for geeks and chubby girls when I wanted to do color guard. But, yeah, he's all for me doing SCUBA and tennis, the two sports he loves to death. SCUBA I like cuz I wanna be a marine biologist, but tennis is eh. And he missed my birthday to climb a mountain. stare He didn't summit, so he thinks he might do it again. On my birthday. Or telling me my theater group (I LOVE acting) was full of it and corrupt, which they weren't and it's show biss anyway. Guess who's not part of that group anymore? emo
But yeah, don't get me wrong, mostly the rest of the time he's there, unless he's actually working. Just don't say everything, because that's what he tells me, and it isn't true. Like I said, he loves putting me down and teasing me because he thinks it's "funny". Otherwise I would just deal, trust me. I would LOVE to just deal. And honestly, until something works, that's what I'll do. But I won't just wake up every morning and hope he's changed for the better, take it from me, it doesn't work.

Zenally

4,700 Points

0
0
0

Offline

vampires_cant_be_tamed20

Offline

Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:44 pm

iKawaiiKyle

Carolina says...
hey, at least u have a dad crying User Image

im in the same vote as iKawaiiKyle, at least you have a dad. my father was killed by 2 cops (and those damn bastards got a paid vacation for it to)
and that was in 2006, and a few months after my father died, my mother passed away. the same year.

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

Just Us Girls

Quick Reply

More Information