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My friend is 16 and pregnant. Her baby daddy is not around and her parents are completely unsupportive and neglectful. I'm trying my best to help but I'm losing my mind in the process. I don't know what to do. Any advise?

She is getting pre-natal care and her parents will support her financially, but they act as if every little thing she does is wrong. They act like she isn't pregnant until she has to see the doctor. She isn't really that close to her family because she's adopted and she doesn't want her baby to ga through that.
The father isn't in the picture because after she got pregnant, he got violent. She won't let her baby be near that.

Going by the title, emancipation is EXTREMELY difficult to do and varies by state to state. If her family is going to be supporting her financially, no she can not be emancipated.

To be emancipated, that means she would have to have her own vehicle, insurance, a full time/steady job, doing well in school. Pretty much she has to be living on her own like an adult all ready and have the means to do so.

You say they act like she isn't pregnant till she sees the doctor. While I don't agree with what they're saying or doing, from their point of view, perhaps, they're doing it to be sure. This means she needs to get to the doctor ASAP so she can sit down with her family and also get the care she needs, regardless of what she chooses to do with the pregnancy.

Pregnancy isn't easy, being a mother isn't easy. I am going to dare to assume that she is probably NOT a canidate for emancipation, especially considering she is pregnant. I can look up state laws if you would like. I've looked up for other states before and people generally seem to have an idea that living on your own while taking care of another human being is easy, it's not.

It's hard for me to understand what you mean by her parents not being supportive and neglective. I would have to know more. I can understand not being close to an adoptive family, but it's a bit silly to assume that all adoptions turn out like that. There are open adoptions as well.

She's almost seven months and she is seeing a doctor for prenatal care. Her parents want her to give her baby( she's going to name him Jaron) up for adoption, but she really wants to take care of him and love him and have him with her. Her parents are telling her that either she gives him up or when she has him they are going to send her to a group home for two years. Then her probation officer told her she can't go to a group home, because she is on probation and can't move out of her house until it's over. She's on probation because her parents said she was an unruly child.
Look, I've seen her house. Her parents are completely mental. There are deadbolts on every door and window except for her room. They won't let her go anywhere. Get this! On her sixteenth birthday, while her party was goingon outside, her parents were inside doing Bible study and basicly shouting out repentance for there daughters sins. ON HER SWEET SIXTEEN!!
I think that shows that they have nothing but contempt for their daughter and her baby.

And thanks for the info about the emancipation.

You don't understand the situation. The deadbolts are used to keep her locked inside. Oh, and yes, your parents can call and have you put on probation for being unruly. My mom tried to do it to me, but backed out. If you defiantly refuse your parents they can have you locked up in a youth detention center.
And isn't emotional support what she needs most now. She made a mistake, everybody does, but she didn't stop the world from turning and she shouldn't continually be punished for something that she didn't do by herself. It takes two. Her parents are making her feel that life isn't worth the pain. I don't know about you, but if I had a kid in trouble I would do whatever I could to help them. Not turn my back when they need me most.
And she's not ungrateful. She has thanked them for everything they have done for her. Which I don't believe they deserve. After she got pregnant, as punishment, her parents stopped the search for their real mom. She might never know her real family. Could you live your life never knowing where you came from? I didn't think so.
And if she gave up her baby she would have to watch other people raise her son. She would see him call someone else mommy. Don't you think that would be heartbreaking?

Yeah this situation seems to not add up and has that emotional taint to it. I understand you care for her and you're seeing things through young idealistic eyes.

First, I think you have it a little skewed what adoptions are like. JUST because she doesn't have the happy feelings in her family, doesn't mean it's going to happen to her future children. As a MOTHER, I would rather have someone else take care of my child and painfully have him call someone else mommy rather than be selfish and not be able to take care of him. She obviously has no way to have her own health insurance, how to provide for this child on her own, while getting an education--it screams being selfish. Yes, I understand a mother's love and all, but she obviously has NOT thought this through. Her parents are being pretty accepting than most in being there financially. She either needs to accept that fact that she's having them provide everything for her mistake or think of other options. Reality is harsh, but for the sake of this baby, someone needs to think about it's future. All I hear is how SHE'S going to feel if she gives up the baby for adoption.

No, your parents CANNOT put you on probation. My younger sister was an unrurly child and ran away, had drug tests, never on probation. I think in all honesty you're confusing the parents version of probation versus the REAL thing. MY parents put my on "probation" when I was bad. I can almost guarantee if you were to tell me what state you lived in, I could go talk to a lawyer on the phone in 5 minutes and tell me that's horseshit.

I don't understand why it has to be the parents to search for her biological mother? My mother was well into her adult year with 6 children before she found her bio mother on her own, I don't see why your friend can't do that. Probably because it takes MONEY. Think about it. They probably had to call it off because they are providing for your friend AND her unborn child financially.

I'm sorry if I come off as harsh, but I think it's something that is needed. This is only one idolized side of the situation. The teenage year and dealing with a pregnancy is a time full of turmoil and angst. A lot of times I think the situation is exaggerated at that age.

Yes, I understand it takes two when it comes to pregnancy, but she still is their daughter and under their care. There's nothing they can do if the father isn't in the picture, which all those sad sob stories about other people raising her son? What about the child not having a father? Don't you think that would be heartbreaking? Her family is providing finanial support for her AND her baby. Yes, they might not be the most supportive otherwise, but it costs money to raise a baby on your own, something people tend to forget. It sounds like she can't even get a job on her own right now, so this is something she's going to have to deal with with the choices she's made.

I know finding your real parents is possible, but right now she's underage and she needs to know of any serious health problems that her baby could be born with. She already has MPK.
Even if she can't support him on her own, she has friends who will help. And, YES, I can help her financially and I will when she needs it. And don't presume that I don't know what it's like to grow up without a father. I've been my whole life without someone to call daddy and I know it sucks. But at least I have my mother. Her son wouldn't have anyone, except who the courts thought we be nice.
About probation, once again, you can be put on probation for being unruly and defiant in the state of Georgia. And if your lawyer friend says it's horseshit, then he needs to read his law books again, because I have had a cop tell me that it can happen.
By the way, my eyes are idealized, they are moralized. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Would any of you enjoy being locked in a house? And that's exactly what the deadbolts are used for. To keep her in. What if the house caught on fire? She doesn't have the key, so she couldn't get out. Whether you call it abuse, neglect, or nothing, I know it isn't right. Anyone with any sense of morality knows it isn't right. I don't know about your morality status, but I would think that you had at least some.
I came to this forum to get some advise for my friend and all I've gotten is people telling me that her life is screwed up and it's all her fault. Believe it or not people, you can't do everything on your own, and she didn't.
Now unless you have some advise on how to make her relationship with her parents better or on how for her to deal with being a teenage mom, then please don't bother. I know the facts, I don't need anyone to tell them to me.

Well isn't that interesting that most of those definitions of 'unruly' are offenses that would get you into the system in the first place? That's a nice chunk of information up there, including the stuff about emancipation. And it's all straight from Georgia law.


Advice is about getting information and opinions and not just what you want to hear. If all you wanted was to hear what you want, you shouldn't have been asking for advice in the first place, you should have found yourself a group of 'yes men' who are more worried about keeping you happy then helping you out. So if you don't like hearing it, it's a little too late to be complaining about that; you're the one who asked.

As for our lives and how they go: we all have ownership in the choices that lead to our life's circumstances. Meaning you have complete control over your life and how things go. Victimhood is giving up your power and lying to yourself and saying you have no control over anything. So when I was a teenager at home, as long as I kept my nose clean, I didn't get punished. If I had developed a penchant for sneaking out, I'm sure I would have found locks on doors to help keep me in as well to try and keep me safe. When I was punished or I didn't like things I'd get upset about them, but I always had the insight to realize that something I DID prompted that response. Meaning I had complete control over those things and had I made a better decision, I wouldn't have been punished. It's not just parents being mean or -whine- unfair. They're just responding to the situation and trying to handle it as best they can.