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"the beer" -- Kimya Dawson.

"the beer"

The beer I had for breakfast
was a bottle of mad dog
and my twenty/twenty vision
was fifty percent off
he said
"punch boogie red
and punch me right in my
left eye."
I said "don't you mean p'diddle?"
and I lit his house on fire.

He came home on acid
I was holding his shotgun
I was dressed like tina turner
in Beyond Thunderdome--
he said, "don't shoot!"
I said, "I won't!
I love you, you're my friend."
I handed him my whig
and shot myself in the head.

then I stuffed a box of tissues
in the hole in my skull,
I got in my mazda
and I drove to the mall.
I bought a big johnson shirt
and some silicon tits;
when I pulled out the tissues
they were covered with s**t.

And the beer I had for breakfast
was a box of cheap white wine
and the boombox on my shoulder
was a box of clementines--
I ate every single one
without noticing the mold
you said
"You're gross my darling"
I said
"no, I'm rock and roll."

even though I'd never ever
been in a band
I got coolest block ice
tatooed on my hand
and the christians gave me comic books
as if I would be scared
of burning in hell
well I was already there.

And the beer I had for breakfast
silver bullet in the brain,
and the beer I had for lunch
was a bottle of manderin,
and the beer I had for dinner
was my crazy neighbor's bills--
we had to sit down on skateboards
just to make it down the hill.

then I peed my pants
and you stole the groom's cigar,
and some old man made me watch him
masturbate locked in his car,
I got back to the apartment
you were face down
on the floor,
you said, "don't go to bed yet,
let's go get a sixty-four."

and the beer I had for breakfast
was a pint of jim bean
and a fifth of peach schnapps
and some warm sunny D,
and you said "bottoms up!"
just as I
bottomed out--
and I tried to scream <******** you"
but blood was pouring out my mouth.

and evident I never planned
on telling you the truth,
and your Leonardo ID card
is your fountain of youth,
you can be a teenager for your
whole ******** life,
just find some pretty sucker
and make that b***h your wife.

and I guess by now you all know
my friend danny broke his neck,
he was driving home from sirens
when he got into a wreck.
first I cried for him--
and then i cried
for me--
haunted by the ghost
of the girl I used to be.

but the rocks with holes
are warm in my hand
and I buried my toes in the
hot, hot, sand
and the silver-pink pony
kisses me and says
"you've come a long, long way
and you
deserve
to be
really happy."