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 Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 2:48 pm
Adela had been lurking around for weeks, everyone seeming to be happy, everyone having someone. A little jealous that parenthood had stolen her friends from her. But she stayed quiet, not having anyone else she had taken to watching. At the moment she was watching her mother, not sure why but feeling little to no connection to this female, were it not for the similarities and the fact that Ab told her this was her mother she might have doubts. Sometimes she wondered if she watched in hopes of seeing the family she had never met, other times she wondered if it was in hopes they would include her. Anger burning through her, shaking her head and turning away. No she didn't need them, and they had never wanted her. Walking away from where she had been watching as quietly as she could.
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 4:21 pm
Quite a few days had passed since the dark stallion had been run out of his family with screaming and tears. How many it was, he couldn't even bare to count. Rockstar walked slowly, almost in a trance His hoof placement sloppy, cross crossing his legs and making himself trip into the forest around him. His usually shiny, healthy black coat was matted, ruffled and untamed. his mane followed in it's manner. His blue eyes, which always were seen sparkling with life and joy with misted over, dark and dead. A stained river of tears could be seen down his cheek formed by the many nights he had spent without sleep, enveloped in his thoughts, his memories.
Rock walked slowly through the thick would, having no care for the countless times he had already run himself into trees and bushes. Having them leave a bloody mark on his worn out body. He seemed like a walking corpse, a miserable ghost having no way in life. He felt no different.
Quietly under his breath he sang out a song. His voice rough and dark compared to his natural cheery, happy, strong voice.
"I'd one of those bad days
Yeah, it left me a scar
One of those where the sun don't shine like she used to
I'd one of those bad dreams
Yeah, I woke up in a sweat (sweat)
And I rode into nothing or into no one
So lay me down with a ghost
'Cuz anything's better than alone
And how I do say what's over
Tell me how do I live on my own
Woke up in a church
Some guy feeling needed on life
I said, "Hey!"
"What a bore if it's all that simple."
See I'd marry the search
Wedding bells if the search had a soul
But today, I know that it's not that simple
So lay me down with a ghost
'Cuz anything's better than alone
And how I do say what's over
Tell me how do I live on my own
A question for you?
Did you really believe in me or was I
Just a blanket for you to hold on to?
See, I'm all outta words
Should I call it a night?
One of those where the moon don't shine like she used to
So lay me down with a ghost
Lay me down with a ghost
[X2]
So lay me down with a ghost
'Cuz anything's better than alone
And how I do say what's over
Tell me how do I live on my own
When anything's better than alone
Oh, anything's better than alone
Anything's better than alone
Oh, anything's better than alone"
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Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:31 pm
Not having walked far when something very faint caught her ear. Stopping and listening carefully but she couldn't pick out what it was exactly, but there was something. Starting to walk slowly again, listening carefully, moving round following where the noise was getting louder. Actively following the sounds at this point, not sure what it was still, what she was hearing confused her, it didn't sound like a soquili though and this made her hesitate, listening carefully again.
Closing her eyes and listening as she stood in the middle of the path. Trying to focus her hearing before it got closer, just in case it wasn't friendly.
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Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 5:12 pm
Rockstar sighed at the end of his song and tried to blink back tears as he recalled the faces of his lost family. He didn't think his heart could break anymore, he almost questioned whether it was even there anymore at all.
He bit his lip and let his unruly mane fall over his face. What was he going to do now? No family, no friends. Just sad songs to be sang with a broken voice. Was he to return to his birth lands? His mother and father? Something told him such a trip would be pointless and even more hurtful for him. He did not know the way to his old lands for one, and second of all, what if they were dead? it had been so long...
"What now?" he asked himself in a whisper as a tear managed to escape his eye and run down his cheek. "Where am I going to go? What am I going to do now?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 5:23 pm
Moving forward, starting to move towards the sound again, though it had changed now. What had sounded like far odd music was gone, but there was still a brief bit of noise. Making her way towards where she thought it was. Starting to run as the sound stops, keeping going in the same direction. Bounding along, no real idea where she was going, but something was this way, hoping like mad that she wasn't going to get eaten at the end of this madness. Knowing what she was doing was mad, you didn't sneak or run after strange noises.
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Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 8:53 pm
Rock shook his head in self-disgust. Keep moving ofcourse. What else is there to do? Now keep going before something comes out and eats you. He sighed and took a few more slow steps forward. But just as he did, his tiered ears picked up some movement not far away. He perked up and put himself on alert, eyes darting for whatever it was. Not sure whether he was going to fight, run, or simply stand and see to his fate.
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Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:29 am
Breaking through the brush, skidding to a very unladylike stop, blinking in surprise at Rock. So shocked to see him that she hadn't registered that he was dirty and miserable looking. Then again she hadn't smiled either, she was just staring at him in stunned silence. Part of her wanting to be mad at him for just going off without a word for so long, not even a farewell. Another part of her wanting to cry for joy at seeing him again.
Only then did she start to take in his appearance and miserable expression, wondering if she had mistaken another soquili for Rock, he was grubby, and looked like he was lost and had been crying, plus he wasn't singing. Doubt creeping in as she turned a little , still looking at him. "Rock?" Her voice unsure, ready to run if it wasn't him or the soquili was unfriendly.
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:04 pm
Looking up to meet the face of the owner of the voice which he had heard, Rock's dead eyes suddenly seemed to shoot back to life. A dim fire in them sparked again and his face light up slightly.
"Addy?" He managed to whisper in a coarse voice.
He tried to get his stiff muscles to move towards him. his mind was completely filled with mist of uncertainty. How many times had he seen her in his dreams now? Countless times. But was she there? or was it yet another fantasy created by his lonesome heart to torture whatever was left of his spirit.
He looked into her eyes, onto all of her. She was not smiling, something about her seemed...lost. Something seemed sad. He sighed with despair. It was not her, it couldn't have been. not the Adela he knew and loved. No smile, not even a trace. Though it was the most accurate dream yet. Rock slowly began to turn away.
"How I miss her..."
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Posted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:45 am
Feeling the spark of anger as he just turned to leave again, anger sparked by the pain that yet again he would just walk away, everybody left her. Giving a small cry as she leapt forward, ramming into his side. Not hard enough to hurt but it would have made him stumble. Glaring at him before turning away. "Fine if you don't want to even talk to me I'll go back where I came from." Stomping off into the brush again, just wanting to go home and cry on Ab's shoulder now, he was the only one that was always there for her. Keeping her head up till she was back through the bush, it lowering when she didn't think he could see her any more as she started to cry silently as she walked.
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:47 am
We did the following on AIM as Misty has been having trouble loading Gaia. Rock blinked in mild suprise. Her voice...in his dreams she never spoke. Her lips moved but words never escaped them, but here his ears could hear her. She was talking. SHe was real. Rockstar whipped around andrapidly looked aorund for her. Gone? No, she couldn't leave him, he wouldn't let anyone else slip away and feel hurt by him again. "Addy, my Addy..." Eyes began to tear and his voice weak with emotion. "Addy, Addy, Adela, ADELA!" He burst into a run and pushed through the bush, blinding heading for where he hoped she had disapeared to. Hunching her shoulders, ignoring the cries as he chased after her. Not knowing what had happened but for once she was too focused on her own hurt. Still walking, her tears making it hard for her to see as she moves alone towards her home. Finding herself stopping despite her resolve, crying silently still.Rockstar ran for a bit, eyes scanning every corner of the woods for any sign of his dear friend. She couldn't have been just another fantasy of his; she was real! And he was going to find her. His dead heart beat hard at just the thought of her. He would get her back and never let her go. She was all he had left now... Running in every direction he could, looking for her his voice kept calling her name. Suddenly, he spotted her long, caramel tail. "Adela!" He sang out and ran towards her, a smile breaking onto his face after so many long weeks of emotionless existence. Turning her head away not able to stop the tears, feeling so useless for crying over the uncontrollable. Trying to master her voice so it sounded normal, though it didn't work in the slightest. "You shouldn't have troubled yourself into running after me." Not able to keep the hurt and anger from her voice, not really angry at him, but at everyone, they had all left her except Abloec, and he couldn't be everything to her.Her words didn't even register in his ears, his complete joy of seeing her, smelling her, touching her; all the things that proved to him she was real, right before him, was overpowering him. He did not slow down at all, but instead pushed himself into her and instantly wrapped his neck around her's, unable to let go. "Oh Addy, its so great see you, Im so sorry for leaving, for turing away from you! I promise to never leave again! You're real, you're here. You don't even know how happy I am to see you..." The tears finally flowed again, but his smile only widened. Stood still and silent, her body tense, crying more at his words and the feeling in them. Not sure what to do or how to react, hoping that he did mean what he said but he had told her before that he wouldn't leave. Feeling the anger bubbling up again, gritting her teeth so she didn't start yelling at him again.He forced himself to let her go, and he took a deep breath. Trying to calm himself. He was not in the posision to hug her in such a way. He had hurt her, and that was all he could think aobut these past few days. How, if he had ever managed to find her again, he would apologize and try to make her smile again. "I hurt you, I shouldn't have. I was wrong to have made promises I was unable to keep.." Looking round at him, her face covered in tears, eyes angry and hurt. "Its ok Rock, not like anyone else has kept them either... Then again I'm an unwanted scrap that was tossed away at birth why would anyone want me." The image of her family so happy without her haunting her, no one having even thought to tell her she was an aunt.The emotions in her eyes began to reflect in his own. 'un wanted' 'tossed away'. The words she had spoken he would usually contradict and tell her his opinions on her. But now they had real meaning for him. Back then, he never truly understood her and her hurt. Now, having been kicked out of his own family, he did. "Im sorry..." he couldn't bring himself to say anything more. How pathetic he was. The look on his face cooling her anger a little, making her turn towards him. "What has happened?" The last time she had seen him he had been so happy with the newborns. It must have been something terrible for him to be like this. Nuzzleing his cheek a little. "Come lets get you to the lake for a wash and we can talk, ok?" Trying to smile, wanting to make him feel better, even when she was hurting so badly herself. Thinking that seeing him smile again will make it better.Rock's tierd eyes slowly moved back up, looking into her's. He nodded, trying to give a smiliar smile, but only ending with a sad crooked mouth. They slowly walked together to the nearest body of water. And as they did, Rockstar's mind began to fil with memories and thoughts about his lost family, his heart barely cooping. Walking along with him, having asked what happened, she wouldn't nag him to tell her. So she walked quietly along with him, thinking the warm weather will have made the water nice and warm by now. Her mind thinking over the games they had gotten up to in the lake before, wondering if she would have such fun times again.The lake glimmered with a familiar light as they approached it. Just as Adela, Rock began thinking of their games and fun on its shores. And the banks of other lakes. He placed a dirty hoof into the perfect water, dirt and muck immediatly dispersing and flowing off. He slowly made his way in, until he was up to his neck, and around him, dark water from his layers of dirt. Stopping at the edge of the lake Addy watched as he waded into the water, the dirt starting to come off of him. Looking at the water as the dirt floated around him, finding it odd, Rock had never been one for staying dirty, something was very wrong it would seem.Rockstar bathed himself clean quickly, feeling more refreshed than he had felt in a long time. Not just physically. He eliminated as much dirt and grime as he could, leaving his head and mane for last. He took great care to wash as much as he could away, even taking care with his bridle. ONce he was down he emmerged from the water and shook himself weakly, not minding his soaking coat. Dragging a big leaf over with all kinds of fruit on it, having thought he looked like her needed a good meal, having done her best to find the bits she knew he liked best. Several apples on the leaf as well as different berries. Dragging the food over to him and looking up. "Please eat."The sight of the apples would have excited him any day. But not this day. He looked at them with a sad glaze and shook his head. "Im fine". He lay himself down, unable to look at Addy now unlike before. "I destroyed my family..." Looking at him startled, finding it hard to credit, shaking her head. "Your exaggerating surely." Pulling the food over closer to him. "Please eat Rock, you dont look so well."Rockstar bit his lip, lowering his head even further into his shame. He knew that if he stopped his train of thought he would never be able tp finish it. "Hoshi...Rockcandy....Ivory....Candy...I hurt them all....I wasn't there when they needed me. I wasn't there to see my own children grow and learn and discover the world. I wan't there when they fell, when their cried, when they were afraid of a nightmare. I didn't make them smile or laugh, or comfort them. I didn't teach them anything...I never even knew Hoshi was afraid of the dark..." A tear rolled down his face unwillingly, as he bit his lip trying not to break. Nudging an apple over to him, settleing down next to him, shaking her head. "The last time I saw you those 3 were your world... What happened to change things?" Resting her neck over his, hugging him gently as they lay.Rock willed his heart to continue. He wouldn't allow himself to reduce to a wave of tears and undeserving emotion. "When they were born...even now, they are my world... I don't know why, but I thought leaving them, and traveling on my own was alright. I would leave for weeks, not even saying anything or when I would return. I was foolish enough to beleive the freedom I had before was still there for me...Like a child i just did as i pleased, nto thinking of their feelings...Candy cried nights on end...Hoshi would search for me, Rockcandy would as well...and Ivory just stayed and kept it in himself....I hurt them so much, and I didn't even know it until it was too late. And by the time I knew...I was a failure of a father. A stranger...Hoshi and RC spat on me and showed their obvious hate. Which I deserved more than anyone....Candy...I hurt her so much...I don't know if she even stopped crying...But ivory....I hurt him the most. Sweet, meek ivory who held it in himself for so long. He was the one who told me to leave....Addy...what have I done?" His body begant o shake as the silent flow of tears rushed down. Hugging him tighter. "Your asking the wrong person Rock, I've never met my real father so to me a bad dad would be better than no dad... Maybe you just weren't ready... I don't know Rock, I dont have children... But I do know that you have a good heart and would never have caused thme pain intentionally." Not sure that her words would be any comfort, but she didn't know what to say. She just knew him, and he had never been the kind of stallion to deliberately cause hurt, and she would tell those children as much if she ever saw them. Foolish, to say nothing till it was too late, you cant fix things then.Rock slowly began to shake his head. "They hate me, and they have every right to. i am no father, I am just the monster than tore them apart...I caused them so much pain, so much...Why? What did I beleive would justify this? NOTHING!" He begant to scream hystaricly. "How could I be so selfish? What kind of person am I? Why was even allowed the miracle of children? Of love?" His voice began to break as the tears flowed heavier. Jumping a little as he started screaming, resting her head on him again, making soft shhhing noises, letting him cry. She had nothing she could say, but she would be with him, being alone would make his pain worse. Crying with him, wishing she could believe her family grieved over the loss of her, but she doubted it.HE cried, tears like acid on his face. The shame was swallowing him, but Rock still felt selfish for even pitying himself. He layed his head on the wet grass, closing his eyes as he listed to Addy. "Do you..." he bit his lip, "Do you think I am a selfish b*****d for hoping they will forget about me?" Shaking her head. "No but I think that it will be a bad thing if they do.... Your no monster, I'd never want to forget you..." Silently hoping that the fools realised that it was also partly their fault, calling Candy all kinds of idiot for not saying something to Rock sooner. Keeping her thoughts mostly to herself, doubting he would appreciate her view on allot of things at the moment.Rock shook with tears, voice silent from the pain. He lay for hours, not speaking or talking. Just thinking and feeling Addy laying on him softly. He hoped she wouldn't leave him. Staying with him, only rising hours later to get something to drink from the water near by and have a little of the food she had gotten. Returning to snuggle with him once she was done, rubbing her cheek against his neck, humming softly one of the tunes they had sung together, wanting him to rest and feel better.Even with his eyes closed, Rock was wide awake. He hadn't slept lately so he could feel how worn down his body was. But he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to dream. To fall into a ngihtmare. Addy's humming gave him slight peace of mind, it was so calming. He missed her singing voice. Humming for hours, going through every tune she could think of, only growing silent when she fell into an exausted sleep. Still snuggled close, resting on him, just at the point where she couldn't stay awake any more. Every now and then she would try to wake up and keep humming only to fall asleep again.Rockstar could feel the change in her breathing as she fell into the land of dreams, although he was not ready to follow her. He decided to watch over her until she woke up again. Feeling like he should have been a guardian much sooner than this. Until eventually the sun began to rise on the world again. Finding herself blinking up at him when she started waking, not remembering falling asleep properly, having been humming then waking up. Her nose going pink as she blushes, never having spent a night out with a stallion before. Shifting and sitting up, finding herself to be stiff as she moves.Rockstar also stood, a few of his bones snapping from being stiff all night. He smiled sadly at her. "Sleep well?" Now that he thoguth about it, he had never asked that question to any of his sons. Was he really gone so often? Nodding.. "I think so... I dont actually remember sleeping." Getting up too and stretching, having a shake after her stretch. "Mmmm have you managed to sleep at all?" Her expression worried for him, giving a little nuzzle.Rock shook his head, "Not in the past few days." He looked at her and seeing her eyes, which were slightly clouded since he had last seen them. Somehting lingered...pain, sadness. Though they were still clear and strong. "How ive missed you Addy." Smiling faintly at him and nods. "I've missed you too Rock... I was worried when you never came back...." Leaning up and tugging on his bridle. "Eat, I want you to eat." Worried for him, thinking that if she could get him sleeping and eating again that he would start to get better at least a little.Rock knew she was worried, it was written all over her. But looking at the food, he had no feeling of hunger or want for it. not even the apples. but he took a bite anyway, to please her. It tasted like sawdust.
`And You Addy? How have you been?` "I've been lonely." Shrugging a little, nothing really having changed for her, just having found that her family abandoning her had become more of a trend with the others all dissapearing. Not sure she should share the news that 2 of her sisters were mother now, thne again they hadn't told her so what did it matter, its not like she was really related to them.Rock's weak smile disapeared., guilt returning. "i..." he began quietly, "I really am sorry. i thought I could keep my promise, but I didn't. Im not sure if I even tried to keep it....I was such a fool. I AM such a child...." Nuzzleing him, shaking her head. "Everyone dissapeared Rock, not just you... None of them stayed or said anything to me... The only one that I've never had to wonder about is Ab..." Adoring the only dad she had known, but he couldn't replace Rock and hadn't tried."That doesn't make what I did better. I should have stayed, or atleast tried. Not done what tohers had." He wondered how Ab was, and what his opinion on him was now. Just like his family's? "No... but everyone moved on, I just had no where to move on to." Not having had anyone special to move on with like the others. Giving him a warmer smile, her problems becoming less in trying to help him. He was more important because he hurt more.Rockstar blinked, "What are you saying? You don't need anyone to move one with! Thats not the Addy i know!" a sudden glimmer of his ordinary self appeared "I know... But some things need 2.... 2 of my sisters are mothers now... I've never met them, no one told me anything... Not even my mother... I saw them when I was going to visit them, fat with foals... I can wander the wilderness to my hearts content but some things I cant do alone... And others I dont want to anymore..." Her voice starting to break, shaking her head, not wanting to cry over silly things, she would be fine.Rockstar's eyes widdened. and he lowered his head. yes, he should have know. Even sweet, independant Addy who had the will of a bull and the grace of a dove still needed, and wanted to be loved. Everyone wanted it. He moved closer to her and licked her cheek affectionatly, almost as if making sure that she was real once more. "They are fools to leave you out. You shouldn't waste your time with
[00:42] Marysia: them. Find your own futur, don't live in thier shadow. Because you are just shrinking your own greatness." Nuzzleing him again and nods. "Even the gods need someone to tell them they are great." Wondering what a god was if it had no followers to worship it. Licking his cheek back softly. Also wondering if so many could be foolish over the same thing, but for now that didn't matter, she had to work out how to help him, wishing she could make it all better for him. Her eyes becoming their usual cairing selves as she looked at him.Rock star smiled, feeling a warm fire inside him that he had thought was long dead. "You have made me feel alot better Addy, and I know you're worried and you want to help. But I think there is only one way to fix things, and its something I have to do myself..." He would have to meet his family again and try his best to show his good side. Even thoguh he knew he would always be a failure father. Nodding and giving him a nudge. "Before you go, maybe you should think about what it has taught you? If you don't theres always the risk of repeating the same mistakes... and I don't want that for you." Nuzzleing him again, wanting his smile back.Rock nodded, "I won't go now. They probably don't want me anywhere near Candy or Ivory and I still need to get back on my feet..." He knew that Addy was the one making him feel so inspired and lively. Maybe if he stayed with her, they could both help eachother learn to love again. Nods and smiles feeling a little better that he sounded more himself. "Now I insist you have some more to eat and try to sleep." Giving him a dont argue with me look. " I'll look out for the bad dream gnome so dont worry about that." Wanting him to eat and rest, thinking they would help him feel better. "I know you probably don't feel like it but please? Ab's new friend says that sleep is as important as drinking water." Finding the pink male odd but likeable.Rockstar nodded with a slight smile, taking another bite of the food before him. it was a bit old but still fresh, it finally held some taste for his tongue. His being with Adela was truly lifting his heavy spirits. He had missed her more than even he realized. Once finished his small meal, he lay his head down and closed his eyes. But no sleep came after awhile. "Sing me to sleep Addy?" Settleing down next to him, smiling, pleased that he as willing to try to rest. "Do you have any requests? Or should I just make something up?" Somehow the world seemd better now that he was here with her, though part of her knew that she was probably only helping him, and that he would go back to his family. She would be sad but he deserved to know his children, and she would have comfort in that even when her heart hurt."Anything," he whispered quietly, perking his ears up to hear her lovely song. Mane falling over his face. Nodding, and brushing his mane out his eyes with her nose gently, starting to sing from the heart, though its wasn't any song she had heard before. ( I'll Remeber You ) it has been so long since we have talked i hope that things are still the same hoping they will never change cuz what we had can't be replaced don't let our memories fade away keep me in your heart for always you made me believe i can do almost anything stood right by me through the tears through everything I'll remember you and baby thats forever true you're the one that i'll always miss never thought it would feel like this i'll be there for you no matter what you're goin' through in my heart you'll always be forever baby i'll remember you I promise you i won't forget the times we shared the tears we cried you'll always be the sun in the sky it may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday even though we go separate ways you made me believe that i can do almost anything you stood right by me through the tears through everything I'll remember you and baby thats forever true you're the one that i'll always miss never thought it would feel like this i'll be there for you no matter what you're goin' through in my heart you'll always be forever baby i'll remember you if the day should come when you need someone you know that i'll follow i will be there don't ever let there be a doubt in your mind cuz i'll remember you you I'll remember you and baby thats forever true you're the one that i'll always miss never thought it would feel like this i'll be there for you no matter what you're goin' through in my heart you'll always be forever baby i'll remember you forever baby i'll remember you
Watching him as she sings, willing him to have peaceful and restful sleep. Resting quietly next to him when she was finished, looking around occasionally to make sure they were safe.The song struck a chord in his heart, and Rock didn't know why. He had sung these sorts of songs for Addy before. Love songs, meaningful songs, and back then they were just music. was there something special about this one? It felt...it felt like the heart beat he had when he sang for Candy but something was different...something more pure. He closed his eyes and tried not to think aobut it, he
[01:39] Marysia: wanted to sleep. She watched as he started to sleep, smiling, pleased as he settled down. Watching over him as he slept, not moving or snuggleing him, as she was afraid of waking him when he badly needed to sleep. Starting to hum softly again, not particular tune.Hours passed, so many that the sun, which had just begun to rise, was now leaving the sky for the night. Rock's sleepy blue eyes opened to see the darkness of twilight around him. He was extermely suprised and looked around for Addy, she hadn't moved! Smiling at him as she sees him wake up. giving him a nuzzle. "Are you feeling better?" Her voice a little gruff from the humming she had been doing, hoping the tunes would help him have sweeter dreams."Did you stay with me all day?" He asked, now worrying about her own body hoping she had atleast stretched and gotten something to eat Nodding. "I didn't want to leave incase you woke up and found yourself alone. But now that your awake I'll get us some food." standing unsteadily, very stiff from being still so long, groaning a little as she stumbles to the water to drink, taking a nice long much needed drink.Rock bit his lip, "Ah, you're sweet. You didn't have to...but...thank you." A blush rose to his face, unnerving Rockstar. He also stood up to stretched, feeling greatly refreshed. Looking round at him when she was done drinking. "I wanted to Rock..." Having wanted him to feel safe and secure so he slept, so she had stayed.
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Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 2:29 pm
More AIM postings as Misty is still having Gaia trouble. Rock felt a bit embaressed, having her protect him as he slept. It made him feel like a foal, but it was not a bad feeling. Like someone wanted to love him. It also reminded him of Adela's never ending compasion. "You're really something my dear" Smiling at that, her nose pinking showing her blush, shaking her head. "I'm just me I don't know how to be anything else." Thinking it was probably silly to feel as she did but she honestly only saw herself as nothing special."And that is the best thing about you, you don't try to be something your not!" He smiled, eyes still not able to reflect the true happiness which was misted over by his lingering sadness. Nodding and taking another drink before looking at him. "I'll go get us some food, or you can come too if you like?" Thinking they might do better to find some shelter for the night.This perked Rockstar up. His mind immediatly flooded with memories of their short, but great, adventures together. A small beam of his usual self shone through his growing smile as he nodded and stepped out of the water to be by her side. Smiling at him and nodding, starting off towards where she knew there would be food and shelter. Knowing Ab's friend Cael had had a cave not far from here, thinking it would be a good place to stay for a while.They walked along slowly together, only occasionally exchanging words, it suited Rockstar fine. He wasn't up to much, having had so much change about him in so little time. He was comp-letely worn down mentally. As he watched is old friend pick some food, a structure caught his eye. "Hey is that a cave?" Looking over to where he was looking. "Yes, thats Cael's cave, I thought we could stay there a while, he usually leaves things needed there." Nodding as she drops more fruit onto the big leaf that she had been dragging round again."Who's Cael?" He asked, turning to look at her. A thought creeped up on him followed by a sneaky smile. "New boyfriend?" he laughed Shaking er head. "No, he's a ceryeni that Ab ran into a few months ago, he was raised by humans so had no real idea what to do with his own kind so Ab kind of took him in. He's nice but we have no interest in eachother beyond friends." Not even close friends but they got on."Ah..." he sighed, not sure why he was feeling a little relived by hearing that she had no intrested in him. "Ab's a great guy, that was really kind of him. Do they get on well?" Nodding. "They seem to get on great, Ab treats him like a little brother, if they didn't look so different you might actually believe that they were related." Smiling a little and shrugging, rather glad that Ab was prone to taking in strays."Thats good to hear!" He smiled and walked into the cave after looking at the clouding sky. Putting a few more bits of fruit on the large leaf before dragging it back over to the cave, pulling it inside. "If we get cold theres wood, he showed us how his mother made fire so we dont need to be cold.." Not having actually done it but knowing the idea."We can make fires? I didn't know that...Thhough only Two-leggers knew that skill." He paused to think about it. "Anyway I don't think we will need it. Your snuggling is warm enough for me." He shot her a smile. Smiling and nudging an apple over to him. "Try eating some more, you will need your strength back." Not wanting to mention what he planned to do but she knew that he would need more to him that he had now.Sighing, he took a few bites of a nearby pear. "Yeah I guess you're right..." GThough he wasn't ready to face them yet. Not for a long time. His family and himself needed time to heal, even if it did harden their hatred for him, Rockstar knew it would be the best that way. Nods, mostly just wanting him fit and healthy, wishing he could be his old self again but something would always be different about him now. Biting into an apple as the first rumble of disant thunder was herd.Rock perked up hearing it was well, though it was still far off. "Hopefully the storm won't come down here. Neither us will be able to sleep and it sounds like its a big one." Nodding and smiling, usually liking storms, especially when she had shelter and could just watch the light flashing across the clouds. "With any luck it will stay in the distance."Rock knew Ivory's complete fear of thunder,. He hoped Candy, or atleast Selena and Nerissa were there to keep him feeling safe and warm. He missed his family, but it hurt to much to think of them. He lowered his head and put it on his crossed legs. Eyes glazed over and staring into the rock wall. Adela just settled down near him, not knowing what to say, so she would keep quiet and not make it worse for him. Watching quietly as he stared at the wall, her ears drooping down, wishing she could make things better for him.Near an hour passed as Rock thought endlessly and the storm only got closer. Lightning burning the sky and dark clouds with breathtaking fire. The rumble of the thunder echoeing in all live things. The wildlife that had occasionly showed itself outside their cave had now completely hidden itself. Suddenly, breaking from his trance, Rockstar spoke. "Maybe...Maybe I shouldn't go back. Leave them be, let them be happy. Let myself move on?" "Only you can make that decision Rock." Not able to advise him there, having tried being with her family and she felt like the proverbial square peg. Her expression sad as she looks at him. "There's no way to tell what will make matters better or worse.""i need to apologize, even if nothing can come close to making up for what Ive done. They should know I truly am sorry..." He sighed and shifted his head, "But, I don't think staying them is the right thing. Let alone possible" Nodding again. "Well lets work on making you healthy again, that will give you time to think and decide." Offering a smile though it didn't reach her eyes.He returned it halfheartdly and closed his eyes, only wanting to sleep now. Moving closer, wanting to keep him warm. Waiting till he was fast asleep till her eyes closed too, falling fast asleep.
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Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:07 am
Another AIM rp session between myself and Misty. The dreams in his sleep were dark and filled with the warped, yelling, crying faces of his sons. RockCandy's eyes glowed with a red light, shining unnaturally with unshed tears. The anger radiated from him and it made Rock's heart squeeze tightly with shame and grief. Hoshi gritted his canine like teeth and then suddenly let out a ripping, loin like roar from his jerking throat. But then the two of them faded into the pink blur that was his middle son, Ivory. He looked at him, his golden eyes lost and desperate. His lip quivered as if words were trying to escape but then the pooling tears finally rolled down his cheek and a snake like tongue emerged from his lips. "b*****d!" He screamed in a warped voice that did not belong to the gentle youngster. "RUNNING AWAY AGAIN?" Rockstar's blue eyes shot open and he cried out into the darkness as loudly as his panting lungs would allow. "NO NO Ivory no!" His body shook and shivered as his jumping eyes took in his surrounding. He was in a cave, not a dark nightmare. He was okay. His eyes fell closed again and his head slumped against his legs Adela who had been having a dreamless sleep jerked awake when Rock had started yelling and jumped up. Looking at him as she looked almost blindly around, not being seen by him. Standing as he collapsed down again and moving to light a fire like Cael had shown her, awkwardly lighting the wood, as its warm glow lights the dark cave. Looking back at Rock who seemed to be sleeping again, her expression concerned now that the yelling had stopped.Shallow sleep quickly swallowed him again right after he lay himself down on his legs. But his brow still nit itself together in fear and guilt without the horrible visions behind his closed eyes lids. Only a few minutes passed before the light of the quickly glowing fire made his eyelids flutter again. He groaned and opened his eyes fully and looked at with mild confusion and then looked back to Addy. Ah yes, she knew how to light fires. Addy looked at Rock and settled close to him again, giving him a little nuzzle and hugging him. It made her chest hurt to see him like this. She wished silently for the strength to help him and that he didn't see her anger or sorrow. Not sure who she was angry at but she could feel it mixed in with her own pain."Morning Addy" he said weakly, his voice rough from the loud, long scream and also coated with sleep. He touched her ear gently with his soft nose. "Sleep well?" He was unaware that he had truly waken and yelled as he had, it felt just like another dream. He didn't know his action had impacted his dear friend or caused her to wake. Nodding with a gentle smile that was just for him. "Yes I slept well." She wouldn't add to his guilt by telling him how he had disturbed her sleep. Least that way anything was her burden and his would not get any heavier. "How about you? Sounded like you were having a bad dream..."Rock smiled, his eyes glowing with it even in their tierd haze. "Thats good to hear. And I slept quite well, just had a few bad memo- Wait what do you mean 'sounded like'?" He asked his smile slipping. Now Addy felt guilty, her ears drooped a little along with her expression. speaking quietly. "When you woke up you were calling out to or for Ivory..." Not sure what it had been but now he had asked she would tell him.A dark shadow came across Rockstar's face at realization. It hadn't been part of his dream, he had woken her as he called out for his son. "Oh..." was all he could muster and then he looked away silently. Eyes starting to brighten with a warning of tears. Was that normal? Calling out in his sleep and not realizing it? He looked up at Addy after a few heart pouding seconds but his eyes widened with what he saw. It wasn't the young, beautiful mare he knew was sitting there that he saw. It was the angry, wolf like Ivory. Eyes blazing with loathing for his once-father and teeth bared in a growl. Rockstar shook himself violently. It wasn't real, its wasn't real. Notrealnotrealnotreal. What was wrong with him? Was he going insane? "no..." he whispered his vision starting to swim. Addy's eyes widened a little, actually properly worrying about Rock now. "What's wrong?" Not realising he was hallucinating as he looked at her. Biting on her lip, feeling so helpless as she had no idea what to do or what was wrong or how to make it better is any way. Her eyes stinging a little as she starts to cry as well, feeling so very helpless. "I'm sorry..." "I.." he stammered, his voice cracking even though he tried to keep collected, "I don't know...I just saw you as ivory. But ivory was a horrible, dangerous beast! Not ivory at all...." He slowed to silence, knowing he was making no sense. "I don't know what's wrong any more..." Nuzzling him again, still biting her lip a little worried, not having the skill or knowledge to be able to tell him what was happening or even to be able to help make him better. "Me either..." "i need to see them." He said suddenly, his once-strong shoulders starting to shake with dark emotion. "I need to tell them Im sorry, i need to tell them i don't deserve forgivness. I need to.." A deep sobb escaped him and he bit his lip tightly and closed his eyes against the pain all aorund him. "Fix me addy..." he cried brokenly and rested his lowered head against her neck. Not knowing how she hugged him as best she could and cried with him. "I want to Rock but I don't know how..." as close as she could thinking she would give anything to make him better again.He tried to take a few deep breaths, but they ended as teary gasps. He straightened himself and looked at her, his face revealing the deep shame and defeat he felt inside himself. "I need to stop this. i am hurting everyone. Even you!" Beautiful, strong, unmovable, intelligent Adela. He could even bring her to tears. "i need to try to right my sins." He stood up and exited the cave swiftly. "Wait!" Jumping up and following after him, moving close enough to touch him but looking into his eyes. "I'll wait here for you..." Not sure if he even wanted her to wait for him or what, but she couldn't to wait for him, she cared far too much for him and that was why she shared his pain. All she did was place a very chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before going back to the cave, only to stand by the entrance watching and waiting it would seem.The kiss lingered on his tight lips long after Rockstar had left Addy's sight and told her he would like if she waited for him - it would not take long. He didn't know why, but that gentle, loving gesture made his heart beat loudly in his ears he had almost been afraid she could hear it. He crossed the border of the forest and started a trot, aiming home where he knew he would not be welcomed. The young morning in which Rock had taken his leave quickly slid away into an orange afternoon. And then died away again into an evening completely silent apart from the chorus of crickets and the song of the wind. Rock re-entered the forest carefully, trying not to put pressure on his newly-injured leg. His eyes were finally unclouded since the day he ran away from his family again. A a dry smile lay on his bruised face,a small, river of dried blood sticking to his dark coat. He walked slowly, his mind muling over the experience of the day. He knew he had changed again. it was from the happy-go-lucky Rockstar, to the scared, broken soul, and now this. Whatever it was. Addy had gathered more wood, and was building the fire up to act as a beacon home for Rock as the light was fading. She had also run around getting food so there was something to eat when he got back, thinking with how he had been he would have forgotten to have anything to eat. Looking up when the fire took and walking over to him, her expression a mix of anger that someone would do this to him and anguish that he was hurt. "Come lay down."Rock smiled warmly in her greeting, but kept silent. Then, the lingering kiss re-inted on his lips again and he gave a light blush, but didn't look away from his dear friend He sat down next to the fire and watched the embers for a moment before taking a few things to eat. Adela sighed in relief as he settled and started to eat, settling near by and watching the flames take and grow bigger. Willing herself not to ask anything although she was bubbling with curiosity. Though with that curiosity also came the anger at seeing him hurt.Rock looked up and caught her eyes, he saw the anger in her and he immediately placed it. "Selena can still pack a punch, huh?" He laughed, even though his heart wasn't in it. "Its not as bad as it looks." He reassured her. Her eyes narrowing, actually fond of Selena but never having felt any need till now to actually hurt someone like that. "Why did she hurt you?" Trying not to grit her teeth as she asked that, knowing she would most likely loose if she went after Sel.Rock laughed, "Calm down Addy, its a long story, and its really not that bad!" He closed his eyes and his face wiped clean into a thoughtful one. "I deserved it, and more, so there is really nothing wrong. I said a few things i really shouldn't have, but Sel knew i was sorry, and am, for what i did. She was the one that really convinced everyone else of it." Sighing, trying to let the anger go, but she was still annoyed... Ok so Rock might not have been the greatest dad in the world but at least he was learning or trying to make up for it. Her father had never even seen her as far as she knew... If he had shown up when she was younger and cared she would have given him a chance at least. Looking at Rock again and nodding, resting her head down and looking at the fire, thinking that he at least seemed better now. "Ok..."Rock could see Addy was not convinced. Selena was rough, especially with Rock, but she had a huge heart. He roughed him a little because both of them knew he needed it. But she didn't let any of his sons do it. She yelled at RC for when he simply growled at him! There was a point that needed to be made, and she would not allow for their family to fall apart any further so she took charge. She quieted everyone down and let Rock give his apology. No one spoke or interrupted him. When Rock had finished both Hoshi and RC didn't hesitate to yell at him further and call him a failure of a father. But once they said the didn't believe him they got a whack in the head from Selena. She cursed them for their blindness and proved to them Rock's apology was sincere. The day ended on a bitter note but what needed to be done had been finished and they all knew it was time to move on. Rockstar saw the whole day play out in front of his eyes again and he gave a peaceful sigh. "What was the most surprising was what Ivory did. He stayed quiet the whole time, but always had his eyes on me, and when i was ready to walk away i actually saw him smile at me!" This raising a smile from Addy too, nodding a little. "Well that's some progress at least I guess... I just hope that a smile grows into something more for you..." Really wanting Rock to have a good relationship with his family, just hoping that he doesn't vanish on her again when he gets it."Maybe" he said flatly. "i don't deserve them and I don't think either of us will be ready to see each other again for a long time." He was completely mental exhausted! He felt like he could sleep for weeks without thinking about anything else. But he wanted to stay here with Addy and talk more. A fire had lit up inside him and he was feeling incredibly better, but different. And he knew Addy was the only one who could heal him back to his old self. "I hope I didn't worry you." Addy shakes her head not really having worried till she saw he was hurt. "Not really, nervous and a little worried maybe... more hoping things were going ok for you but not really proper worry till I saw you hurt." Her nose pinking which thanks to the fire was a little pink looking anyway. "Would you like anything for your cuts?"Rockstar smiled at her warmly, she was such a good girl, he thought. "Nah Im fine, its mostly my leg that hurts but it was my fault that its twisted. Walking back i started crying with relief and i wasn't thinking when i jumped over a fallen log." he blushed and laughed at his own foolishness. It stung now, but that was just because his muscles were a bit twisted. He lowered his head and placed it on the crook of Addy's neck and smiled tiredly. "i am glad you waited." And he closed his eyes and fell back into sleep. Addy smiled as he snuggled up to her and fell asleep. Laying still so he slept well, finally drifting off herself, content. His heartbeat and breathing so close giving her sweet dreams, though they were not really dreams she would usually have about him. Waking some time later, the fire out but her nose still pink.. Pretty sure that by kissing him she had made a mistake as he dreams had gone down a romantic line which she knew he didn't have for her.Feeling his soft pillow stiffen a little, his eye lids fluttered and finally his blue eyes revealed themselves to the world sleepily. he looked around silently and then up to Addy. "its still dark, bad dream?" he asked quietly only half awake but seeing that something was off. Addy shakes her head a little still blushing. "No good dream... maybe I'm a little hungry." Her stomach giving a little grumble at that point, looking round in the dark and reaching for the nearby apple, feeling relieved that she actually was hungry. Finishing the apple off and settling again. "There I'll eat more when the suns up and we have breakfast." Giving him a reassuring smile."Sun..." he mused quietly and leaned his head against her again. "Hey," he said suddenly and then leaned up to her and licked up a stray piece of the red fruit from her lips. "messy eater." He laughed and closed his eyes, slipping away from her immediately. Her face going very red, trying not to let her heartbeat hammer away. Licking her lips not able to keep the thumping from picking up pace, sure she was deafening him or burning him her face was so hot. She could taste him... Squeezing her eyes closed she tried to rest some more but she was still awake when the sun started to turn the sky peach.The stronger light of the morning sun woke Rockstar form his slumber and he blinked awake. Lifted his head off of Addy and yawned loudly trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. "morning Addy." he said pleasantly as he turned to look at her, not noticing the blush that was still visible. He smiled even brighter when he realized just how much better he felt. "Morning Rock..." Lifting her head again when he was awake, looking at him, her eyes flitting away to the dead fire soon after, feeling shy thanks to her dream and that night. But then no one had licked her like that, not even Ab, and she had liked it far too much."breakfast!" He announced suddenly energized and he jumped up, not noticing the shyness Addy was displaying. "What do you want Addy?" he looked at the spoils of Addy's search from last night, picking himself out a nice pear as all the apples were gone. He crunched it pleasantly and looked at the fire as well. "I love that smell." he smiled down at her. "Hey." He said and rubbed his cheek against the top of her head. Addy looks back at him and gets up when he rubs against the top of her head, her shorter fringe sticking up a little bit from the rubbing. Moving over to the fruit and picking out some of the smaller berries, eating happily. Smiling despite the fact she was still blushing. "You seem to be feeling better today... and what smell?" Not sure which one he liked of the many."the smell of fire." He replied and then took in a lung full of the air. Even though the fire had been snuffed by time and wind a while ago, the smoke still lingered strongly in the air. "I am feeling a lot better." he admitted and smiled at her a bit embarrassed. "Like...a load was lifted off me. Or at least part of one." Nodding in agreement, liking the smell of the fire too. "Did you know that its not the fire you smell, its the wood." Sure he did know, thinking how lame that probably sounded. Going deep red again, wishing she could crawl in a hole and bury herself at this moment.Rock nodded, "Yup." he answered, though unconcerned with how the fact had been presently a little foolishly. "Whats wrong Adela?" He asked as he looked over to her, she looked a little ill and she was red. He walked a little closer and crouched down next to her. "Is it the berries?" Rock asked gently and then looked a little closer, there was a piece of berry skin on the corner of her lip. He giggled. "My messy eater." Then he caught himself and his smile fell down. It hadn't been a dream? Addy eating an apple and then he licked a piece off her lips. He soft, rose petal lips? It had been... Rock's face suddenly turned bright red...real? He had tasted her sweet flavour, not imagined it? he had felt her delicate lips? He had nearly kissed her? Addy looked at him, seeing his face as he worked out something, not really able to see his blush in his dark fur but there were parts that gave it away. Licking the bit of berry away. "No the berries are fine... I'm fine I..." Looking at him words failing her, her heart starting to hammer again.The blood rushed up and pounded in Rock's ears as they bent low over his skull. He stared at Adela in a completely lost way. They just stood, face to face, blushing like poppies and neither able to break their lock on each other's eyes. "I ammhhh....ahhhh...errmmm" he stumbled, losing the feeling in his tongue. Then he swallowed hard and blinked, his eyes widening even more. "crap." he said shaking his head but never losing her eye contact. Her heart feeling like it gave one more last thump before stopping altogether, though it had probably gone back to a normal beating rhythm, she supposed this as that pain was back in her chest. Lowering her eyes and head a little and turning away slightly his words having made her pretty sure he had done it by mistake. "Its ok, I know it didn't mean anything... I'm going to go get some more apples." Grabbing up the big leaf she had been using for gathering food and heading otu the cave before she could start to cry or make an even bigger fool of herself.Rock stared at her, the pain in her face - and her heart - piercing his heart like a rusty knife. "No wait Addy...." He said quietly as he watched her leave. No, not her too, not now. Not ever. if there was anything in the world that he would give his life for over and over it was her. he didn't know why it had taken him so long to realize. But at least he had. He stood up and rushed after her. "no no wait Addy. Please, please just wait! Addy!" He cried as he jumped after her and rounded to face her. "I didn't mean it like that I am sorry hun, im so, so sorry. Please don't go..." He said, his heart pounding in his throat. "Not now..." Her eyes squeezed closed as he stops in front of her, not having been able to keep the tears for long, they were now running from her closed eyes. Biting hard on the thick leaf in her mouth, as she looks at him again.Rock's chest pulsed with pain again at seeing her tears. "Don't cry my sweetest." He soothed, rubbing his nose very softly along the tear trail, drying them for her. "Don't ruin your eyes." He placed his forehead against her and took one deep breath in. "Don't leave Addy. I can make you happy." And then he closed his eyes and kissed her softly. The leaf falling from her mouth in surprise, her eyes going wide, the tears stopping. Not able to react much beyond the surprise and a few blinks while Rock kissed her.... Not that it was sinking in any better. Rock was kissing her, he had called her hun and sweetest, had begged her not to leave, even though she was going to come back with food... And the most puzzling to her, he wanted to make her happy. Tears started again as she made a small noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Leaning into him, her eyes closing as she did what she had dreamed of doing, and kissed him back.
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Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:10 am
Misty & Me AIM rp logging His heart lept as high, or even possibly higher, as Adela's when he felt her returning touch. She had only hesitated for a heartbeat, but now they had done it. They both knew thier affections, they both knew this feeling was real. Rockstar couldn't contain himself and kissed her back passionately once more. Praying to whatever God that this single moment would never end. He wouldn't seperate from her ever again. The sudden passion of his next kiss making her go bright red and pull back. She could be brash and even a flirt at times but really she had next to no idea when it came to love, beyond the humiliating birds and bees talk Ab had had with her when she became full grown. Her eyes lowered in a unusual moment of shyness as she figited unsure of herself."Im sorry!" he quickly blurted when their lips did cease their contact. He mentally kicked himself for being so forward with her, he should have known better. But something in him was simply crying out for the sweet taste and touch of her. Her smell her laugh, every single thing about her made his heart soar. "I umm....sorry." he repeated again lamely and also turned bright red. At that moment she couldn't help a small chuckle seeing how chargind he looked. Nuzzling him with a very maternal sigh. "Its ok... I.. I'm just not... used to stuff like that..." Stumbling over the words, not even able to say anything more accurate about what had happened. She was such an innocent, wondering a little if fate had made things fall apart with Trovin because of this. Shaking her head at the stupid idea.Rock nodded a couple times, a bit pointlessly. Kicking himself in his head again for his silly actions towards her. "Yeah...umm Addy?" He looked up at her with big, blue eyes that seemed to freeze their moment together. Then he leaned in again slowly and pressed his lips against hers once more. The touch was delicate, The softest of touches, but it beat with his passion and love for her. Making a small surprise sound, having looked up when he said her name, blushing again but kissing him softly back this time. Still thinking it was some kind of dream, Rock wouldn't want a pain tomboy of a girl like her would he? She had never met the Candy he had said about but the babies had been so pretty so surely their mother was a beauty.He was the one to break their hold on each other this time, and when he did he looked deeply into her eyes and smiled from ear to ear. He also felt like he was dreaming, that it was too good to be true. And it was. "I love you you know? I love you beyond comprehension." Gaping like an idiot at him, this had to be some kind of dream. Leaning her head down and biting her leg hard only to yelp after. "Ok not dreaming..." The end of her nose a very painful shade of pink, looking at Rock again, opening her mouth to tell him she loved him too, but only managing a squeaky. " I..." Coughing and figiting, finding her insecurities were hounding at her, no one wanted her apart from Ab, no one loved her but her Ab and her e she was having everything offered to her that she wanted. Her expression showed so clearly the inner struggle, looking into Rocks face, her love in her eyes but silenced by the insecurity on her face.Rock frowned with slight surprise when she went and bit herself, but he soon enough understood. At least she had made sure of reality for the both of them. He laughed at her and smiled brightly again. A smile just for her that reflected ten fold in his glowing eyes. "You silly darling, don't go getting your tongue in a knot!" He laughed again, tears touching his eyes with his uncontrollable happiness and he hugged her tight,. He was hers now. She was his. "You REALLY want me?!" Hugging him back as much as she could, this seeming to be the part she couldn't believe, having loved him for so long, having cling to friendship as it was all she expected but now there was so much more on offer and she couldn't believe it. Looking up at him the long ache of abandonment in her eyes, having lost everyone that should have been there but she had been cared for by an unlikely father, and it seemed won the guy she had loved since she could remember, not that she knew what it was then.The look in her eyes cut Rock's heart to pieces. How could he except her to understand when he himself couldn't? And after what she had been through? He simply looked into her eyes for a long while and then said, completely seriously. Voice unwavering as it carried his heartfelt promise. "I won't let anything hurt you. I will do everything for you, just to see your smile, jsut to heart your laugh. You mean the world and more to me...I don't know why it to me so long to realize..." He blushed furiously and swallowed hard, trying not to even blink. "I want you Addy. Adela....will you be mine?" Her eyes misting up as she starts to cry again, though this time she was happy. Also not prone to crying so much she wondered if something was wrong with her. "Oh.. oh Rock... I never thought you would love me back so I wanted to be the best friend I could... Are you sure?" Swallowing trying to get her silly tears under control. "I mean you dont have to, I'll always be here for you, loving you in any way I can, but I know you want to be a good dad to your boys... I wont get in the way of that..." Rambling in a rush of insecurities, actually admitting she loved him twice as she babbled, though not answering his question yet.Rock listened to her babble on and could only smile to her gently. When she slowed he wrapped his neck around her tightly. The hug was different than all the others. It was protective, it was almost as if he was claiming her. "I am sure. I can't fix things with my boys and maybe i can start over...maybe we can start over." He pulled away and licked one of her tear stained cheeks. "I can't imagine life without you anymore." Blinking, determined not to cry again, her smile dazzling as she looked at him. "I Love you Rock, you make me happy just being you, when you were gone I was as miserable as I've ever been, but that was ok because I thought you were happy... If you really want a scruffy thing like me then yes I'll happily be yours." Nuzzling close to him, having been close to often but never having felt so close before. The start over part rolling round her mind, not having fully sunk in what he might mean by that just yet.Rock also shed a tear of joy for her now. She was worth a few happy tears, more than a few he reasoned with himself. Definitely more. You are the most beautiful thing in the world, and I won't let anything take you away. My heart wouldn't be able to bear it anyway." He laughed and pressed his cheek against hers and gently closed her eyes. His entire soul seemed to settle and be calm in the soft glow of their newly shared love. Nuzzling softly, staying close, not wanting to upset him but this having been such a turnaround from how she had found him she had to ask. "What went wrong Rock?" Her voice soft and hesitant, wanting to know so they could avoid repeating the same mistake again, knowing he would probably hurt to talk about it. Her expression gentle and understanding, anxious that she had asked the wrong thing and ruined everything already.
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Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 4:54 pm
He looked at her slowly and bit his lip. His first instinct was just to tell her nothing. But he realized that wasn't an option. He had confessed his love to her, taken her as his own. That meant no more lies. No more silly stories. Only truth. "I don't really know..." He said quietly before she realized his lips were moving. And before he had too much time to think about it he told her everything. How Suichii and he had a talk about love, how he had told him his 'love' for candy. How he had lacked the responsibility of a parent and just started wandering off and leaving everything with Candyhearts. How he would return and would be surprised about some of the tension he was causing, only to make him leave again. And slowly, without his support, everything had slipped apart... Resting her head against him, knowing how it felt to be alone, able to sympathise a little with the other mare, left with 3 kids and no help. Turning her head and biting his shoulder that was closest to her head. Biting quite hard, after all this was all the punishment he would get from her, looking up at him after the bite. "Have you learnt your lesson or do I need to bite you again?" Not able to look severe but she was clearly serious.Rock had shrieked at the bite, but something deep down had accepted the punishment. He looked at, his ears flattening with slight fear at her intense look. But he let out an awkward, shaky laugh. "I think I deserve another one. But I have definitely learned." Nodding and smiling her usual cheeky grin. "Good because if I have to bite you again it will be worse." Not thinking to threaten him with the consequences if he left her with children while he roamed. Though that thought collided with the one about starting over making her look stunned and bright pink. Foals, her and Rock foals... Going even redder at that realisation as it sunk in.Rockstar blinked at her as he saw an inner surprise and confusion playing out in her eyes. Not to mention the sudden increase in intensity on her blushed cheeks. "What hun?" It felt so good to call her that now, he savoured the word. Going so read at his question that it was amazing there wasn't steam coming out her ears. Blinking at him, trying to calm down with deep even breaths. Poor girl she was so new to this stuff, and while she knew the facts it all seemed so detached from her reality, finally squeaking out between deep breaths. "Foals..." Not really panicking, part of her liked the idea of being a mother, a better one than hers had been wouldn't be hard to do. But the realisation that his starting over could mean family, that he wanted a family with HER?!!Rock suddenly also exploded just as red as her. But he kept staring into her eyes. "Foals..." But then he shook his head and gave her an encouraging smile, also to encourage himself. "We don't need to rush, right? We are young, we are happy. I just want you for now." Then he calmed himself and looked deep into her big, beautiful eyes. "Lets not rush. I still have a lot to learn..." Nodding emphatically at his words, all for that, waiting was good. Starting to breathe again as she became less red and more of an embarrassed pink. Giving him a sheepish look, very pink still, laughing nervously. Yes waiting good, no rushing, none at all..." Wondering if it was painfully obvious that she had never been with a stallion like that before, heck she had had her first kiss only a few minutes ago.Rockstar smiled at her gently. "I love you Addy." He whispered and then gave her a light kiss on her forehead. Smiling, calming down more, kissing the side of his nose softly. "I love you too Rock, now you rest, I'm going to get those apples you like so much." Giving him a soft nudge, still a little pink towards the cave where they had been staying, not wanting using his injured ankle too much.Rock smiled and nodded, an apple sounded very, very good. "Ill be waiting" Then he settled himself down in the cave and walked her walk off. Completely entranced by her. Not gone long, knowing this area very well, having learnt allot from Cael about healing plants, though even now she couldn't remember everything the pink stallion had said. Returning with the leaf, dragging it by a bit of vine, a large pile of red juicy apples on it, leaving the leaf right in front of him as she settled next to him and nuzzled. "They should last till tomorrow if you don't eat them all and make yourself sick." Rockstar laughed right beofr ehe dived into the small mountain. Crunching away he smiled at her between mouthfuls and chimed, "They are delicious! Thank you!" After eating a few in mere seconds he held one inbetween his teeth, a perfect red, and looked to her. "lets share." he smiled and his eyes glowed. Tilting her head a little, sizing up the offer and how best to actually achieve it. Finally deciding it would be easier to tilt her head more and do it that way, and so she did. Her head leaning right over to the side as she carefully set her teeth around the apple. Biting carefully so as not to catch his lips with her teeth.Rock smiled with his eyes, seeing how careful she was to avoid his eager lips. He crunched the rest of the apple and licked his mouth of the fruit's juice. Then he looked at her and snickered. "Still a messy eater" and kissed her softly even when there was no food to be cleaned away. Addy blushed and kissed his cheek softly. "Its not like I had a mother to fuss over such things when I was little. Ab did quite well considering becoming a father was not a worry he thought he had to worry over at the time." Kissing his lips softly, knowing she wasn't very girlish despite her long soft hair, but Ab had coped with sudden unexpected parenthood quite well.Rock smiled and laughed at her, "Kidding." He said quietly and then slowly rested his head against her chest. Listening to the blissful sound of her heartbeat. Addy smiles and looks at him, nuzzling softly, amused that he was listening to hear heart beat. But this was nice and she was content to stay like this, besides it gave her time to pluck up the courage to give Rock a proper kiss, thinking she had to stop being so shy of such things.Rockstar closed his eyes and listened to the natural, calming sound. It felt so warm and lively, and it sounded like the beat of wings. "lovely" he murmured under his breath and he suddenly started to slip into day dreams. Smiling as she watches him, wishing she knew what was going on in his head, just smiling, not having seen him this happy and relaxed in a long time.Almost as if she read his mind for what he was planning to ask her he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at her without moving. "What are you thinking about?" He just wanted to sit here with her, warm and relaxed. The two of them dead to the world and its problems together. Not able to help herself as she starts to laugh a little, shaking her head. "I was wondering the same thing about you, you looked so happy." Smiling at him, and leaning in, kissing him gently, a soft curious kiss, still learning about them and how the different ones felt.Rock blushed at the affection and his heart swelled with the touch. He beamed at her and also giggled. "Just listening to your heart, thinking about random things. Mostly you." He smiled gently and rubbed his nose against her and then licked it. Blushing softly and giggling, snuggling closer and smiling. "What about me? I cant take up that much of your thoughts?" Really not seeing herself anywhere close to how others did, she saw herself as a plain, awkward tomboy who drove most people away somehow."Well if you must know!" He began with mock irritation, but then giggled it off and his tone softened with his passionate thoughts. "The way you walk, the little tail flick you do sometimes. You blushing nose, you sparkling eyes...Even the way your hair sometimes falls over your face. I'm just thinking about all of it." he smiled crookedly to himself and then locked his eyes with hers again. "your beautiful." Giving him a little nudge with her nose. "You are incorrigible." Nuzzling her nose to his, not sure she will ever see herself as he sees her but as long as he liked what he saw did it really matter. "Will you sing for me Rock? I've missed your singing..." Asking softly, knowing he hadn't felt like singing recently.Rock was taken a bit off by the request. He would do anything for her, most of all sing. But now that he thought about it, he hadn't raised his voice in song since he lost his family. He was almost concerned that he wouldn't be able to do it even now, for her, in their save bubble. "of course." He said, and before he had time to doubt himself he began.
Tsunaida Te
No matter how many times we’re reborn
I want to meet you here again
I’ll hold your hand so we’re not separated
We talked until the sun came up in the morning
We held hands until the sun went down in the evening
Let’s spend tomorrow and the next day like this too
Shadows and light
Now I wonder
What do you carry in your heart
And what world did you live in?
You can’t find warmth alone
Looking at the town with lonely eyes
When I met you
I learned for the first time
Just how much strength love gives you
No matter how many times we’re reborn
I want to meet you here again
I’ll hold your hand so we’re not separated
I can’t sleep alone, because I can’t dream
On starless nights, I’ll keep shining on you
And take you to a place where no anxiety can reach you
I can go anywhere if I’m with you
Even roads that I couldn’t walk alone
With you I can walk them, humming as I go
As long as you’re here, I’m happy
If we hadn’t met
I would have missed out on so many happinesses
When I was anxious, you held me tight
When I was about to lose sight of tomorrow in the crowd
And those times alone when love hurt
I’d forgotten how to offset my loneliness
I’ll put my hand back in yours again and again
And we’ll walk every road together
If I’ve got a dream that I can’t fulfil alone
Then I’ll go and fulfil it with you
One happiness that I share with you
On Saturdays when the crowds are so big that we bump into people
I don’t want to lose sight of you
At this time, your hand in mine gives me twice as much strength
I feel warmth and love and no more cry
Your cellphone lights up in your faded jeans pocket
But I don’t want to let you know
And the devil on my shoulder makes me say nothing
I just hate it when you’re not around...
I’m kind of scared that you’ll get stolen away from me
I want to stay connected to the person who’s so special to me
I won’t let anyone take away this love
Yeah, let’s hold hands so much that everyone in town hates us
The more of a wimp I am, the more I pretend to be strong
But I can’t...can I cry?
The autumn breeze...soon it’ll be the season when we met
Back then, I was looking for love
No matter how many times we’re reborn
I want to meet you here again
I’ll hold your hand so we’re not separated
I can’t sleep alone, because I can’t dream
I’ll take you to a place where no anxiety can reach you
If I’ve got a dream that I can’t fulfil alone
Then I’ll go and fulfil it with you
One happiness that I share with you Addy smiled as Rock sang for her, they had sung together before, she had sung to him but this was the first time that she actually felt he was singing for her alone. Resting her head on his chest as she listens, humming along once she picked up the tune, liking that it was cheerful.Rockstar rested his head on her head when he finished. "Just for you. Anything for you." He said quietly and then began to hum to the song again softly as he left his eyes fall closed Smiling and humming with him, feeling her heart swell, feeling happy and loved. Not sure what Ab would make of her getting involved with a stallion that was so much older than her but she didn't care and somehow she didn't think Ab would either. Sighing contentedly. "No Rock its all for you.."Rockstar didn't say anything. he didn't feel that he needed to. In his mind he saw her from the first day he saw her in her basket. Then she grew to a foal, a young mare, and now. Now she was stunningly beautiful mare ready to take on the world. He had fallen her so long ago but only know did he realize friendship was not enough. She was perfect, and she always would be. Sighing, a long happy sigh, starting to slip off to sleep, still not convinced she wasn't dreaming, but the quick emotional up and downs of the day had left her feeling tired. Still snuggled close to Rock as her breathing softens and settles, not in a deep sleep but dreaming happy dreams of her and Rock.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 4:06 am
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