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 Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 9:07 pm
 Red-brown eyes scanned the horizon as Tawi padded onward, ever onward. She had been in this area before, a few weeks ago from what she could remember. It was here that she had met that young male, the one who claimed to keep the secrets of all his family and pride members. It had been a bit of a ridiculous claim but Tawi had heard much worse from others. Normally Tawi avoided areas like this where she had had run ins with others lions that slowed her down, and yet here she was approaching the boarder of the young males pride once more.
Bringing herself to a stop she couldn't help but wonder why she had come back. Honestly there was no real reason to be here, she should be wandering off again if only to avoid her thoughts. But what Taqa had said to her those few weeks ago had stuck in her mind and all the walking in the world didn't seem to help her get right of them. Maybe the young male had some good points but at the same time alot of what he had said was still a bit odd to her. She didn't understand the point of sticking around in one place for your entire life - well no that wasn't true, she did understand it, but certain situations caused her to avoid doing just that.
With a sigh she began to walk again, following the border of the land keeping her eyes open for any approaching lions. If they were ones she hadn't met before then she would promptly leave as they would clearly waste her time in her mind. But if Taqa happened to be out here she might just talk to him for a bit, if only to figure out why what he had said previously had stayed with her.
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 12:28 am
Life was a disappointment. Taqa wasn't naive enough not to realize this; but perhaps the world outside of his home was worse, and by being where he was happy and where he knew in his very soul he belonged, he could lessen the impacts of life's letdowns.
At least, that was the way his thoughts had run, until he had met Tawi. She had taught him one thing, if nothing else: that, try as he might, he would never succeed in shutting out the world beyond the pride's borders. The Ela'wadiyi and the rest of the lands that stretched as far as the eye could see were not separate entities; they were all part of the same world, in which elements from one passed through into the other, and back again.
Because the meeting with Tawi had been a disappointment. It wasn't that he hadn't delighted in meeting the lioness; on the contrary, he had very much enjoyed her company (as unwilling as she had seemed in giving it), as he did the company of any other lion that he met. Judgement was not something Taqa doled out all too willingly, and he was more than content to observe the different characters of different lions, no matter what they were like. Rather, it was the knowledge that he had gleaned: she needed help with something, whatever it was, and he could have been there to help her. He could feel it, without a doubt, and he knew somehow that he could help her.
It was disappointment in himself, he realized with a jolt. He had let himself down, and perhaps the lioness too, though she didn't realize it. But he did.
The brown lion paused mid-step, mid-train of thought, to peer pensively over into the distance at the border of the pridelands where, perhaps, he had last seen Tawi as she had run away. A small frown passed over his brow as he craned his neck and squinted his eyes to see. It couldn't be. It couldn't possibly be her, and he couldn't quite tell from where he was, but there was something about the shade of coat that suddenly made his heart lift. Had she come back? Would she let him help her? Tell him whatever it was that he knew she was holding back from the world?
He changed his course and broke into a swinging trot toward the tan shape in the distance. It couldn't be.
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 7:58 pm
Eyes swept the land as she continued to walk slowly forward. After a few moments they fell upon a somewhat familiar looking pelt. He was still a ways off but Tawi knew that lion immediately - unless of course he had an identical twin, then it might not be him. Of course he had never mentioned having a twin so that thought was pretty much pushed to the back of her mind immediately. As he broke into a trot towards her Tawi felt a smile creep across her maw, though she was quick to stop it and revert back to her normal emotionless face. It was odd though that the sight of Taqa had caused her to smile.
She continued towards him at the same slow pace she had been walking all along. As he got closer she let her eyes roam over his green tattoos - or his curse as he told her in their last meeting. Coming to a stop now that they were close she stood silently for a few moments not really sure what to say. What was the reason for her returning? Tawi wasn't even sure of the answer to that, it had just happened - though part of it was because of some of the things he had said last time. And since it wasn't often that Tawi met another lion that had such an effect on her life there had to be a good reason to come back to see him, even if at this very moment she didn't know what it was.
"Hi." She finally said. Though it wasn't quite what she had hoped to say it would do for now. Besides surely Taqa would say something to get her talking.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 3:09 am
It didn't take long for it to become clear that the lioness was, in fact, Tawi. What little doubt he had had vanished as he neared, and a smile came over his face despite his surprise. He hadn't thought for a second that he might be seeing the tan lioness again. Still, the best things in life were those that came unexpectedly, and the fact that she was here was more thrilling than he would have imagined.
Stopping before her, he watched silently for a moment, wondering if she had anything to say. Her return would require some explanation, after all. "So," he said with the same smile in response to her greeting. "You came back." The obvious, he knew, but it had still yet to fully sink in.
"... Why?" This last came almost as an afterthought, as if he would have been able to accept it if she hadn't offered the explanation that their reunion clearly merited. The reason, he had decided, wasn't quite as important as the fact that she had. But knowing would have eased his mind somewhat anyway.
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Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:00 pm
Tawi wasn't too surprised when he questioned why she had returned. She hadn't exactly been the politest lion during their last encounter so her coming back was a bit of a shock, even to her. Why exactly she had come back, well that answer still eluded Tawi so she couldn't exactly give him a good answer. "I don't know." She said somewhat quietly, shrugging her shoulders. Glancing about for a moment before her eyes settled back on him she spoke again. "I was just wandering around and ended up back here."
Well that was somewhat the truth. She had been wandering around, that's what she did and had been doing for a very long time now. But just happening to return to a place like this where she had met a lion like him was something that didn't happen by accident. After a few moments she realized they she had slipped into that awkward silence and needed to say something, but what. Looking over his tattoos she offhandedly spoke of them. "I see you are still cursed." Not quite the conversational piece most lions would have picked but Tawi wasn't like most lions.
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 6:12 pm
Well, that was okay. He could live with not knowing, especially if Tawi herself had little idea as well. At least she wasn't holding anything back from him - not that he could tell, anyway. Taqa wasn't what anybody would call a gossip, but his worst fear (or one of them) was knowing that somebody was consciously trying to hide things from him. All he needed, really, was the reassurance that those around him felt that they could trust him.
At the mention of the "curse" Taqa glanced down at the bright tattoos that covered much of his pelt, smiling. "Unfortunately," he agreed. "At least it's a pretty curse, goes well with my fur." The tattoos had always been so much a part of him that he could hardly imagine what it was like to be without them. The stories that the tattoos told of each lion had always fascinated him, and though more often than not, he couldn't quite understand the tales completely, that they were still there for him to try to interpret was wonderful.
"We all have them, though, everyone in the pride. It's a tradition, I guess. It's kind of like wearing the most memorable moments of your life on your coat, and you'll never have to forget them." He explained.
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 7:51 pm
Glancing at the tattoos once more Tawi did have to agree that the green went well with his brown coat, though she would probably never voice that opinion out loud. It was a tradition huh, that seemed a bit different to her. But she understood that each pride had their own special things that members often held close to their hearts. Her old pride had had traditions as well, though she honestly couldn't recall what they were as it had been so long since she had been home. Of course the idea of markings of a lions most memorable moments somewhat confused her, what if, such as in her case, a moment was something you didn't want to remember. You would be forever reminded of that thanks to those marks.
Her muscles were itching to move again, a near lifetime of wandering did that to one. This was one of many reasons why she didn't stop to talk to many other lions, because it meant staying still and that never went over well with Tawi. "I need to walk." She simply stated and without waiting to see what he had to say or to see if he would follow she began to do just that, walk. Besides Tawi was pretty sure he would follow her.
Once she had started walking she felt a bit better. Somehow Tawi always felt better walking because she believed that by doing so the thoughts she had been trying to avoid all these years would not catch up to her. "You know some of the things you said last time...they stuck with me." She said after a few moments. She would have elaborated more on that, but even Tawi wasn't sure why those things had stuck with her or eve why she had mentioned that. Perhaps Taqa would know what she meant by it and be able to expand on it in his philosophical way.
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Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:35 pm
He had always enjoyed the Ela's tradition of tattooing their lions. It made them that much more special, for one, but the more important reason was that it felt so much like he was wearing his life on his coat - the good, the bad, the mundane. It was all there, and he would have it forever to cherish, and within the tattoos were held some of the most important lessons of life that Taqa imagined a young lion could possibly learn: you can't run away from life; you have to face things and figure out a way to cope, or to get over them, or they would haunt you forever. The tattoos didn't let things lie, and Taqa was alright with that - embraced it, even, and felt so much the better for it.
Alright. He fell into step beside Tawi was she began to walk, feeling no urge to wonder as to why this was so. It was fine; so they would walk. He suspected it would be more interesting for her to do so, in any case, and this was much more about the lioness than it was about him. So they would walk.
"As glad as I am to hear that, I hope they didn't stick simply because they were annoying," he said with a smile. "But why? Does it all... make more sense to you now?"
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Posted: Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:08 am
Tawi walked silently for a while with Taqa beside her. It wasn't that she was ignoring his question she just needed to get into that mindset that seemed to come with her constant wandering before she felt at ease enough to answer. With a sideways glance at him she spoke after that long pause. "If they had been annoying do you think I would have come back?" Tawi gave her head a shake, not they had stuck with her for a different reason. Had they been annoying she would not only be trying to outrun her thoughts and memories on the past but what he had said as well.
Giving her head another shake Tawi focused on looking forward as she continued to walk. "No, not exactly." It in fact did not make more sense - or perhaps it would if she would just stop and take a while to think on those things, but that always lead to those other thoughts creeping back up on her. Tawi was having a hard time explaining why his words had stuck with her without going towards that very uncomfortable zone that always made her run away. "I don't know how to explain it." She finally managed to say. Best to just not explain it at all right now until she could find the right words. "It just made me think on things that I never before thought of." She gave her head a solid nod, content with that answer. It shed a little light on the situation but for the most part avoided those things that made her uncomfortable.
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:59 pm
Taqa paused to consider her words. "Well," he began carefully, reasoning through his response. It wasn't simple, now that he thought about it - clearly, his own responses to certain situations were greatly different from those of Tawi. It hadn't taken him very long at all to figure that out. "I would have, if only to try to get them out of my head, but you... I don't really know, Tawi." But he liked to think that she had. It would have been a good sign, anyway, but the mere fact that she was back, regardless of why she had come, was good enough for him.
He nodded his head, listening intently. He wasn't under any illusions that he was any sort of psychologist, but he knew he could help. It was an inexplicable feeling that gnawed at him and refused to leave him be - so annoying as it might be to Tawi, he would simply have to see it through. "Like, stopping to smell the roses? And watch the butterflies?" He asked. "Or something beyond that?" Because those were things that anyone should learn to see on the surface, but there was more to it than that. Either way, it was a good thing.
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:30 pm
Tawi's pace slowed a bit now. There was no reason for her frantic speed walking right now, she could do this, she could talk without running away. Glancing sideways at Taqa she wasn't really surprised that he would have sought out the person who would have put ideas into his head, and honestly she didn't even know him that well. But he just seemed like that kind of lion, the one who would seek out even uncomfortable moments if only to better understand them. Tawi couldn't do that, not yet at least, maybe in the future, the very distant future. For now she was generally content to ignore those things or avoid them completely. If she didn't think about them then they couldn't bother her, right? Well that's what she used to think, but ever since her first run in with Taqa things had changed. Now she thought on things like that more and more.
"I suppose that is one way to put it." She told him as she continued to walk on slowly. "Before there was only me and what was in front of me." Tawi took a deep breath, it would be hard to explain things without reaching that uncomfortable subject that she had avoided for so long. "But now...now I see things, things I easily missed before. Not just what is in front of me in the way, but other things." She probably sounded like an idiot saying these things but it was true. Before she would never pay much attention to anything unless it was in her way blocking her path.
Damn why was this so hard to explain things. Too many years of avoiding seeing life what what it was or could be she supposed. Too many things that she could have stopped to enjoy only to have it taken away just like - Tawi shook her head stopping that thought, it still stung as if it had all happened yesterday. One step at a time, she told herself. "Things are clearer I suppose." She finally told him with a glance in his direction. Yes, that was it, she saw clearly now instead of the clouded version of the world her eyes had become accustomed to.
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 7:09 am
He took her slowing down as a good sign. There was so much to be learned from an individual's actions, if he but paused to read them and reason out their meanings. He had learned that as a child, when he had realized that being stealthy, as was the custom of his clan, involved not only the ability to stalk without being seen or heard, but also the ability to read and predict another's actions. There was no way to counter the unexpected unless he learned to expect them, and so he had spent increasing amounts of time simply sitting and watching silently as the lions around him interacted with each other. And he had learned.
It was like... Tawi had finally stopped trying to walk to the ends of the world and back, and though he had little idea as to what had driven her to want to do something like that - or at least seem like it - in the first place, slowing down seemed like a physical way of confronting those demons. And it was a start. Nobody had said it would be easy.
"Clearer," he echoed with a small smile. Well, look at that. He gladdened him to know that he had managed to make a difference after all, even if he didn't know what exactly it was he had cleared. "That's good," he added, not wanting to push too far, but wanting to take steps anyway. "Sometimes those things lying by the roadside, the ones that you wouldn't otherwise see, are the best parts of the journey."
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:50 pm
Her breaths came somewhat slow and steady. Tawi knew she couldn't rush into talking about several certain subjects and yet everything that she needed to say to explain herself would lead her down those paths she wished to avoid. There had to be a way, some way to say things without touching on those horrible subjects. Perhaps if she hadn't spend a good chunk of her life in solitude she would have a better time explaining herself and socializing.
"Yeah clearer." She repeated, confirming what she had already said. After a few more steps Tawi brougt herself to a stop, and sat down curling her tail around her paws. Perhaps sitting still would allow her to gather her thoughts about her. After a few moments of silence she was sure she had the right words to explain things without saying anything direct about her past. "And some things on the roadside are those which you wish you had never seen and spend your lifetime trying to forget." Giving her head a shake that actually turned out to be harder to say that she thought. Those bad thoughts were already creeping up on her, her mind screamed at her legs to start walking again. But for now she resisted the urge with a couple of nervous flicks of her tail and averting her eyes away from him.
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:23 pm
And there it was, a physical pause. He knew that it didn't mean anything, that her stopping in no way meant anything when it came to working through whatever issues she seemed to be trying so desperately to escape, but it felt, somehow, so very symbolic. And he would take whatever he could get. The fact that she was no longer rushing through a conversation with him seemed to mean something.
Following Tawi's suit, he sat, waiting for the words that he knew she was trying to find. He had all the time in the world, and right now, he could give it all to her if that was what she needed. It didn't matter to him that he barely knew her, or that helping her alone wasn't going to change the world for the better, as he so wanted to do. But it would make a difference to her, and that alone was enough motivation for him.
"Right," he nodded. "But... you know, no matter how fast or how far you run, you're still on the same road. And somewhere behind you, those things are still lying there, still on the same road, like you.
"Sooner or later, it all comes back. You need to... actually pick those things up and toss them off the road." He said, wondering if, perhaps, he had pushed the metaphor too far.
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Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:11 pm
"You're telling me." She replied before she could stop her mouth from voicing her thoughts. Tawi knew full well that no matter how far or how fast that she walked she could never outrun her memories. They were much like her fur, always with her, sometimes welcoming such as on cold night and other times it was unpleasant like during the hottest portion of the day. Too late to take back those words she supposed so she just gave her head a shake. What else could she do. It's not like she could walk backwards and reverse time. Hell if that was the case she would have done just that so many years ago to undo what had caused her to take up the eternal walking in the first place.
Tawi bit the inside of her lip as the overwhelming desire to walk washed over her. She knew she couldn't keep on going like that forever. Eventually she would either walk into trouble or become too old to keep going, and then what would happen. All those years of avoiding things would catch up to her, and she would be completely overwhelmed. Casting her eyes off into the distance because it was easier to talk when not looking at anyone else she spoke after a few hesitations. "But how can that help? Picking those things up and tossing them off the road?"
Tawi knew what he meant by it, but she was looking for a bit more clarification, almost a confirmation from him that it was okay to get a little hurt in order to avoid a bigger hurt down the road. "Those things could hurt you just as much when you remove them from your path than when they catch up to you later...perhaps more." Tail flicked about, a clear sign she was feeling uncomfortable but trying her best to stay here for her benefit.
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