Welcome to Gaia! ::

I guess I'll start from the beginning....

December 14th was the last day of classes and I had submitted my final english paper. I really needed to pull off an A in the class but that would mean I needed a A on the final paper. I got back in mail 3 days later on Dec 17th and it was 86. I felt sick after I saw the grade and everything in me just sunk to the bottom. I found out my parents already saw it which made matters worse. They basically assume I recieved a B in the class and long behold it was true. Thats where everything went downhill.

Let me break aside to comment on something. I remember a thread in the guild that asked if you were a perfectionist. Well if I was answering that with no influence from anyone then my answer would be no. On the otherhand, I have to be because that is what is expected. You know for most parents 4 A's and 1 B in college would be good grades. For mine that 1 B is no different from a F. I really tried my best and I spent hours and hours revising that paper and still not good enough. Effort doesn't mean a thing. You could put 80 hours into a paper and still get the same grade as someone who spent 3 hours. That just how things go in life.

Anyways after it was confirmed on Decemeber the 19th well I lost computer and television access for about 2 week and it ended today. That was not all because in addition I had to spend 4 hours each day reading writing books during does 2 weeks. If school wasn't enough, the holiday break was going to be another school day except no need to attend classes. After the 4 hours, I could do as I wish except watching t.v or using the computer. That was fine for me since I had things I could do afterwards like building wooden flower crates. I did end up building 3 large one which I am hoping to use to grow vegetable and violets in the spring.

Even with the punishment I thought things could get no worse because I was at rock bottom. Then December 24th came. Christmas eve and my mother's birthday. My younger sibling volunteered to cooked dinner that night. This isn't the first time she has done it, for this was like her 13th time maybe. She was going to make toast, butter rice, and some type of beef vegetable pot. The toast was easy enough but problems struck while cooking the rice and the beef vegetable pot. She started at 12 noon and by 9 p.m everything was still cooking. What ended up happening was the rice ended up being burnt and the beef vegetable pot was uncooked. There was basically no dinner and on top of that my mom got really pissed off. If I was to summerize the 2 hours of screaming and ranting in a jist then it would be......

Of all days to burn a meal and have no dinner is the day of my Birthday

My sister ended up running to her room and crying that remainder of the night and eventually went to sleep. Then Christmas came. It is suppose to be a day of happiness and joy. The morning started off with my sister going to be kitchen to get a drink of water. Just by coincidence my mom was in the kitchen waiting for her and the minute my sister walked in well she was forced to clean the burnt rice pot. Trust me it wasn't easy and it ended up taking her 3 hours or so. Occasianally I tried to help when my mom wasn't around because if I was caught I would be in trouble. During that same morning I was called up by my parents and it was about my playing spades online. They restricted me from playing it any longer because they didn't want me to end up growing up gambling. I ended no longer allowed to play any card games even it is gold fish. I wasn't to happy about that but nothing I could say to convince them. The more I try to persuade them the higher their voice went and the more anger. It got to a point I broke tear and ended up giving up heading to the basement to flood my tears out. After about 3 in the afternoon, it was complete silent and the rest of the day was basically bleak. We never opened presents that day. That was Christmas.

December 26th-December 31st there was the occasional screaming and yelling but that was all. New Year's day hit and it was very peaceful. Not a single sound was heard or spoken. No screaming whatsoever and no more shedding tears. It was a wonderful day... a wonderful day 3nodding

Ouch, looks like one of those hopefully things can only get better stories. Your parents are a lot stricter than what is normal to me, makes me sad. er, welcome back though! =D

My purpose in life is to cause you confusion q=P

Yeah, if I didn't get an F on something my mom would probably have a heart attack. Well, I feel sorry that your parents are unable to recognize your great abilities and that one okay grade isn't good enough for them. Be proud of what you accomplished and just continue to get the passing grades. They'll help you later on.

*Huggles Stormy* Shoot your parents. They shouldnt be making you feel worthless when you are smarter then 90% of people out there!! I'd be proud of you if I was your parent.

Why did you have to get an A? What was so important about getting straight A's?

I'm sorry that Christmas was sucky for you too, mine's the worst I've as well. You're Mum should be thanking your sister for even trying to cook dinner! Its the thought that counts right? Most kids wouldnt even bother.

I just cant stand over-strict parents. Its almost as bad as neglect in my opinion.

Let say it this way. If you were a son or daughter of my parents than more than likely you will have a better appreciation for your parents more than ever. I have the kind of parents who do not if ever actually give compliments. If something was done perfectly than the best you will get is... keep it up. You will never get good job or excellent unless you ended up graduating from harvard with a ph.d and making 4 times what they are making right now. Now it doesn't mean they are not proud but they just never show it or say it. Keep it up is like what teachers tell a student when they barely passed a test. Keep it up is like even though it was perfect you can still be more perfect. Anything below an A and consider it a life of hell for the next 2 weeks or so. Try going through life doing something for the first time when everyone you know has already done it like 10 times already. For example going to a friends house just to hang out. I never got to do that until I was in high school of my junior year. For the past 16 years I was always in the house and nowhere else. I was never allowed to go to single party or dance. My parents made it almost impossible to possess any friends. What good is it when the only time you can see them is during school. Even with all the rules I did end up making many. How I did so is still a mystery to me. Sometimes I think I have two personality. The one in public is a happy always laughing and outgoing person. The one at home is the depressed, worried, and emotionless person. No one would figure that I was partially a depressed person unless they lived with me at home but otherwise that side never shows.