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[Q] Angelo Marks/Lepus, Senshi of Speed [critz]

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Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:18 pm


first post
other quests: n/a
PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:20 pm


User ImageName: Angelo Marks

Nickname: Angie

Age: 19

Birthday: October 8th

Sign: Libra

Gemstone: Sapphire

Blood Type: B

Fav. Food: Chocolate Sundae

Hated Food: Carrots

Job: Part time sales lead at Banana Republican. It's a very similar to a certain real-world clothing store...

Hobbies:

Street Racing - Angie has a need- a need for speed. He's been interested in cars and motorcycles since he was a wee lad, and now that he's old enough to be able to afford his own vehicle he's turned it into a second life. He's not fantastic, but he makes enough to pay the notes on his vehicle and he's managed so far to dodge the DCP. His nickname is 'Thumper', because of his habit of leaning out the window and thumping other's car roofs to startle other drivers into starting before they're flagged.

Shoujo Manga - Look, ok, despite popular belief, this is not JUST a past time for little girls! Although he'd never admit it, Angie loves him a good, sappy love story or two. Or four. Or an entire box under his bed. Don't judge him, okay? Everyone has their weaknesses. For some, it's chocolate; for Angelo, it's, well...a little more embarassing. Secretly, he hopes his little reading collection will give him some kind of killer insight to the opposite sex - but in actuality it often causes him to behave a little sappy.

Love You Like a Love Song - Angie's OTHER favorite past time is bad karaoke. He loves pop music and will belt it out, even while he's working. The other salespeople think it's hilarious, but that's probably because they've also seen him dancing on the tables at the local karaoke bar doing the same thing. Fortunately, he's a good tenor, so a little Katy Perry isn't out of his vocal range. No shame, no gain is his motto, and he's not afraid to belt out a ladylike ballad even in front of his racing crew.

Many, Pedi - For someone who's into something that sounds hardcore like street racing, Angie is oddly immaculate. There is never dirt under his nails, nor grease stains on his clothing or person. Haven't you people heard of COVERALLS or GLOVES? It goes beyond basic hygiene, however. He loves spa treatments, massages, getting his hands and feet taken care of... His body is his temple. He even waxes. Yes, there. He has trouble some days deciding which he loves more - his car, or his person.



Virtues:

Nothing Wrong with a little Spunk - Angelo has a tendency to be pert. He hides his inner discomforts and fears behind a cocky and assertive visage. He's not afraid to take the lead in potentially dangerous situations, although he'd also happily bow to someone else's authority, as long as it helps him project an image of the Good, Brave Boy. After all, he's found a smile and a wink can get him out of trouble more often than not- and when all else fails, he's not above a little hair-flipping.

Handy Dandy - Angelo is a very hands-on kind of guy. If he's interested in something, he tends to want to learn how it's done! He's the kind of guy who might ruin a magic show by explaining the tricks as they go. Through the power of Google, the library, and a tenacious will, Angie refuses to admit that any task is too insurmountable for him. He likes participating in things actively; applying the skills he's learned rather than postulating with theorem. 'Skimming' is his watch word. A self-proclaimed 'expert' in many fields.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness - Well, it is for Angelo. Right up there to the left of Sanity. Need help tidying your dorm? Great! Well, ok, as long as it's not too much of a sty. Otherwise he won't go near it. He is very neat, and sanitized, and lots of other things that are big pros in the food industry, and also useful around the home. He's kind of like a human Roomba. His closet is meticulously organized, and every room in his apartment has a lint roller. Not that he keeps animals anyway - too much mess, too much trouble!

Flaws:

Beauty is A PAIN - Angelo bathes. Regularly. His hair is always done just so (thank god for beeswax), his clothes are always impeccably pristine, and his person is otherwise remarkably tidy. This is an unbreakable routine. Come hell or high water, this boy WILL stay clean, even if it means scrubbing off with clumps of melting snow in the middle of the wilderness. He has a tendency to be rather vain about it, and will downright disregard others' requests for him to ignore personal hygiene in light of more important matters.

Fashionably Late - Deadlines are for, well. Other people. Angelo moves at one speed, and that is His Speed. Sometimes, when he's in his car on a good day, it's frighteningly fast. But on most days, well... When he is good and done with satisfying the steep requirements needed to maintain a healthy psyche, he'll make his way to wherever he was supposed to be three hours ago. He is totally unapologetic, by the way, what were you thinking, scheduling that in the middle of his bath time?

Shoot First, Ask Questions Later - Angie might not rush his personal care routine, but expect everything else to be done with perhaps more haste than necessary. He's not afraid to skip steps - even with tasks he's just learned. He can handle it. Ok? No, he will NOT stop and ask for directions. The downside of being a do-it-yourselfer is that he often arrives in circumstances where the only expert on hand is someone who 'read something about it online once' - I.E., him. This gets him in trouble sometimes - but he just can't seem to help himself. After all, he only has so much time in the day, and he's going to have to spend the rest of it cleaning up the mess he's made of everything....

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

COLOR REF
Eyes/Skin/Hair
User Image

Eyes: Pink!

Hair: Platinum blond, styled somewhat like this in a low ponytail (it's wavy but not quite curly) ref And to be a total pain in the butt, if they have different hair as a senshi it'd be super great if his hair could look like this (in senshi form): Same length/wavyness, but higher ponytail

Face: A long face, usually smiling or smirking. Maybe one eyebrow raised.

Clothes: Something casual but still work appropriate! Whatever you're comfortable with. Example, More Ideas. I really like the idea of an eye catching color for the undershirt, like that yellow sweater thing.

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:21 pm


Senshi Name: Lepus // Arneb (undecided :T)

From Wikipedia: Lepus is a constellation lying just south of the celestial equator, immediately south of Orion. Its name is Latin for hare.

Arneb is it's brightest star, & is also Arabic for 'hare'.

Senshi Sphere: Speed!


Fuku Colors:
PRIMARY: Tan?
SECONDARY: Pinkish (IDK LOL)

colors

Check this bad boy out

Design - IDK, uhhh, CC. Some kind of... Hare reference would be hilarious slash amazing.


Challenge: "Moving too fast for you, baby?"


Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Lepus Speed Burst!
With this attack, Sailor Lepus can grant himself a minor increase in acceleration, and goes beyond 'normal' bonuses granted by being in senshi form. This both affects movement speed and attack rate. Lasts 15 seconds.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Lepus Speed Boost!
In this upgraded version of his attack, Sailor Lepus can now generate an aura that minorly increases the speed of other Order-aligned characters within 5 feet of the senshi. The effect is similar to his Sailor Scout ability, and increases movement and attack rate. Lasts 30 seconds.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Lepus Leaping Flash
Sailor Lepus leaps into the air, unleashing this ultimate attack. His movement speed is now very nearly faster than the eye can see, increasing his attack rate and capacity to dodge. However, if he is hit, or runs into something, he is effectively knocked out of this state. Lasts 45 seconds.



old stuff, probably not gonna use
Senshi Name: Chamaeleon

From Wikipedia: Chamaeleon ( /kəˈmiːliən/) is a small constellation in the southern sky. It is named after the chameleon, a form of lizard. It was first defined in the sixteenth century.


Senshi Sphere: Disguise


Fuku Colors:
PRIMARY: Gold
SECONDARY: Teal

Color ideas

more color ideas!

design ideas


Challenge: "Will you fall for my disguise?"


Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Chameleon Color Burst!
With this attack, Sailor Chamaeleon can shield himself with an aura that causes him to temporarily change colors. His skin and fuku whirl brightly and the rapid color change is distracting at best. Lasts 15 seconds.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Chameleon Color Blend!
In this upgraded version of his attack, Sailor Chamaeleon can now choose to hold one color, or a pattern of colors, in order to better disguise himself. Lasts 30 seconds.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Chamaeleon Identity Crisis
Lasts two minutes, in combat. Sailor Chamaeleon casts an illusion that disguises himself as another person (senshi, normal, or even negaverse). While he is unable to pantomime their attacks, his energy signature is masked somewhat (outside of 5ft from him) and the effect is generally disconcerting.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:21 pm


Family info will go here~

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:47 pm


moar extra
PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:48 pm


filling up in a bit...homework

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:51 am


and basic info filled in from what I threw into the concept contest! Changed sphere though. heart
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:32 am


Not a full crit, but just a heads-up.

We have both a senshi of Failure and a senshi of Futility, so your application of the "Vanity" sphere won't be able to be used.

Indubitably

1,600 Points
  • Gender Swap 100
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
  • Hygienic 200

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:15 pm


Ah, ok! Sorry, I checked the master list but I didn't have a chance to check the front page. Thanks for the head's up!

edit: changed the sphere!

other ideas-
OTHER SPHERE IDEAS:
Paris/Debauchery?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:20 pm


I know it isn't exactly the same as debauchery (it might be too close to be accepted unless the attack/ sphere is carefully defined as a different entity), but there is already a Senshi of lust whose name is Paris. XD


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer


Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:57 pm


LOL, well I suppose debauchery is out.

Anything wrong with masks then, dear readers? <3


hahaha ohhh my goodness I have the worst luck with spheres
PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 9:59 pm


OK LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN oh goodness its a hot mess

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Orangeish Sherbert

PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 7:14 pm


Hey there Ravv! I am here to do a crit on Lepus for you!

First off, I want to say that your ref of him makes him look so very dashing and handsome. I love the color of his eyes! Like a little bunny or something. Just saying.

Anyway. Onto the real crit! His hobbies are completely and amazingly amusing, and I find nothing wrong with any of them! He’s so manly, yet so not manly at the same time, it’s a very nice contrast.

His virtues seem pretty solid to me as well, but I’m just a little concerned with his Cleanliness virtue, I’m having a little bit of a hard time trying to see how people would…look up to him for this! Maybe if you could expand on this just a bit to make it a bit more of a trait that people would want to admire him for!
Moving on to his flaws!

In his Beauty is a Pain flaw, I would like to know just why this is a flaw? Why would people frown at him for this? Does he refuse to hang out with people who don’t bathe as much as he does, or would he abandon his friends or others in a situation if they are too dirty or untidy? If you could expand on this a little, I think it would be a really fun flaw to play!

With his Fashionably late flaw, this doesn’t seem like it would be good for every rp…perhaps if you changed the name of the flaw to inconsiderate? Where he puts his own needs in front of others, like if he were to be blow drying his hair, he would rather put that first in front of picking his friend up? Or something like that. Perhaps Unreliable would fit in as well. If you do not want to change the flaw, then I would like you to expand on it showing a wider range of how being late might really fit into a wide variety of circumstances!

For your Shoot First, Ask Questions later Flaw, would this be considered reckless? If you could, perhaps include a little more on how this is a negative trait! Does he often screw other people over while doing these things?

Now on to your powered side! I really like the sphere idea of speed, I think that’s pretty creative! Since you are leaving your outfit pretty much up for Colorists Choice, I don’t have anything to say about it, but the hare additions would be rather amusing!
Your first attack looks good to me, the amount of time seems sufficient!
Moving to your super attack, I think you should include that it only affects other order aligned characters when the spell is first cast, so it doesn’t make a loop hole that can keep the attack going for longer than the thirty seconds!

With your Eternal attack, I think it has the potential to be almost deadly, if he is moving faster than a person can see, so I really would be more comfortable if you would add in something to inhibit this from happening, perhaps something like his direction and steering being inhibited from the speed, or since he has the increased speed, he must always be on the move, not being able to stand still due to the speed burst!

Please feel free to quote me with your changes and I can review the profile once more! I can’t wait to see him played someday, and good luck in getting him!
PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:43 pm


I just wanted to post to let you know I'm taking this crit/stamping process over for Orangeish, so if you make any changes please quote me to let me know! heart

Sylent Nyte
Crew

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