Welcome to Gaia! ::

So I've decided to restart my SoulSilver and take the Nuzlocke Challenge.
Don't know what that is?

Yes, that is a Seedot.
In any case, there are also a number of other small rules that you can tack on. I'm going with the three base rules, as well as "Thou shalt not use items outside of battle, unless they are key items," "Thou may only buy one pokeball per mart," "Thou shalt not switch in 'mons just after an opponent has been killed," and "NO RESETTIN' b***h"
You may have noticed that the last of the rules in the image is to make a comic.
I can't draw for s**t.
So instead I'm chronicling my adventures in written form. It'll be a good exercise, as I haven't written anything good outside of mathematical proofs and lab reports in a long time.
And I obstinately refuse to be organized in any fashion in terms of a table of contents.
So, then. Here we go!

Oh, and feel free to join me if so you wish. xd

April 1st
Finally, those goddamn errands are done.
Cookie had changed out of pajamas, met Mr. Pokemon, Professor Oak, and some Red-haired kid named Pastry. And somehow, Anastasia the Snorunt hadn't died through it all.
"You are one hardy little thing, you know that?" Cookie looks upwards at the little teepee on his head and smiles as she sleeps away the exhaustion.
But now that all that crap is overwith, I can start going for badges. To do that, though, I'm going to need more than little Anastasia here, 'cause she barely holds up on her own...
And thus, Cookie caught a Hoothoot.
"The Dex says you kinda twitch in time to seconds, so I'm calling you...Tickerton. On to the next route!"
Of course, perilous danger awaited in Route 30, for the moment that Cookie stepped into the tall grass, he came upon a Weedle. The little bug looked harmless enough, but managed to poison both Tickerton and Anastasia. It is with great difficulty that Cookie managed to catch this Weedle, and then rush back to the Pokemon Center before anything could suffer further from the damaging toxins.
"Now let's see...You've got these giant stingers on either end, so I'm calling you...Barbara!"
The insect's eyes squinted in disapproval as Cookie dubbed it what could possibly be the worst name ever concieved.
"Get it? Get it?" Cookie nudged Tickerton in the ribs as Anastasia covered its face in its hands.

Name one of them "Brain" cuz it's kinda like my name.

April 2nd

Cookie stood outside the Violet City Gym, carefully considering the sign out front.
"Huh. Flying-type, eh? Well, I'm sure Anastasia could take them, but I don't want to take that risk. Maybe I should head to Dark Cave and see if I can't catch a Geodude or something rock-type?"
Upon entering the cave, the typically half-naked trainer was assaulted almost immediately by a swarm of bats.
"AUGH WHAT ******** s**t GET AWAY AUGH"
In the commotion, a single female Zubat bumped into an empty pokeball on his belt and was caught.
"Goddamn Zubats. Your name is Betty Kane, and nobody will ever get this joke, just like nobody will ever love you."
Frustrated by his lack of foresight and misfortune, Cookie enters the Violet City Gym to find that a man is standing on the platform that will take him to the gym leader and trainers.
"Oy, move. I need to go freeze some birds."
"Whoah, whoah, whoah. I can't just let you up there. You gotta go beat the Master in the Sprout Tower first."
"WHAT THE ********," Cookie exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air in frustration.
Cookie leveled his face with the shorter man and looked straight in his eyes.
"Fine, goddammit. I'll play this your way. But I will have my revenge, do you hear me?"

Cookie soon finds himself on the second floor or the Sprout Tower, wondering where everyone else went.
"There were people all over the first floor, so why not ******** recoiled and instinctively scrambled up a wooden pillar to remove himself as far as possible from the Gastly's presence, but the malicious toxic cloud merely floated upwards.
"AUGH GO KILL IT BETTY KANE"
The Zubat flies into the air and begins to battle the ghost, bringing it back to ground level and away from the man in a thong and a belt desperately clinging to a rafter.
After a tedious battle of "Leech Life, Lick," Cookie begins to edge a little closer, looking down upon the tiring ghost. An empty pokeball on his belt brushed against the rafter and comes loose, falling through the air and bopping the ghost on the head. Once it's obvious that it's contained, Cookie climbs down and picks up the ball, staring at it with a blank expression.
"Huh. Well, I'm naming this girl Violenta, another bad pun that nobody will ever get, because it's after an obscure Shakespeare character."

April 3rd
On the top floor of the Bellsprout Tower, Cookie briefly brushed by his apparent Rival, Pastry, who had nothing of import to say.
But the Master instantly challenged him to a battle.
The Master began by sending out a Bellsprout, which was predictable. Cookie sent out Betty Kane, who effortlessly took down the first and second of the Master's Pokemon, both of them Bellsprouts.
This was not without its price, however.
"Looking good, Betty Kane! You're still perfectly healthy!"
"You are a formidable force. I am forced to resort to my last Pokemon, young erotically-dressed challenger. Go, Hoothoot!"
The elderly robed man sends out a level 10 Hoothoot, only one level higher than Betty Kane herself.
"Betty Kane, confuse that tiny owl!"
The bat screeches a pitch higher than the human ear can register, attempting to confuse the small bird. The owl hides behind the gigantic swaying pillar of the Sprout Tower, however, and the attack ultimately misses. It retaliates, pecking the bat for a good amount of damage.
"Betty Kane's still in the green, so no worries. Try again with Supersonic!"
The Bat screeches again, this time making the poor owl's eyes cross. But the little bird shakes it off, and attacks again with Peck, dealing a massive amount of damage with a critical hit.
The bat's wings begin to flap slower, and it gently touches down upon the ground before collapsing.
"Betty Kane...no...no...."
Cookie rushes over to pick up the limp insectivore, and holds the small body to his face.
"Betty Kane...I loved you more than you'll ever know. I won't let your death be in vain."

In memoriam: Betty Kane.

We'll miss you, Bat-Girl.

You know what'd be absolutely goddamn hilarious? If all of us taking the Nuzlocke challenge ended up at the Indigo Plateau at the same time. xd

April 4th, Johto
Cookie entered the Violet City Gym, prepared to take on Falkner the falconer.
"Hey, Champ to be, you look--"
"I will ******** you to death and devour your soul."
"Whoah, all right, nevermind then. Sheesh."
Cookie steps onto the elevator, ascending to the top floor.
"Whoo. Chilly up here. Shoulda worn something heavier than the thong."
A brief battle with Falkner ensues, and Tickerton proves himself the victor over the most frustrating Pigeotto ever concieved.
Cookie steps down off the lowered elevator and glares at the man standing by the entrance.
"If I ever meet you again, Clarence..."
"My name isn't--"
"CLARENCE."
"I can be Clarence," the man hurredly proclaims.
Cookie makes the universal gesture for "I've got my eyes on you," and leaves the gym.

After making his way through Route 32 and catching a Rattata named Kimberly whose sole purpose in life was to be an HM slave, Cookie comes upon the Union Cave.
"Hope I don't find a Zubat first. Don't think I could ever replace Betty."
Walking through the cave, he is surprised to see that nothing is attempting to fight him. After a while, he sits down with his back to a particularly large and angular stalagmite and releases the newly-evolved Barbara-the-Beedrill, just to spend time with her. The moment the insect lands on the tip of the aforementioned stalagmite, however, the ground begins to violently shake.
"s**t ******** AUGH," Cookie exclaims, holding onto the stalagmite for dear life as it rises out of the ground and reveals itself as the head of an Onix.
"HELP ME GODAMMIT," Cookie shouts to Barbara.
Barbara stabs at the Onix a few times before the stone beast begins to calm down, and Cookie throws a Net Ball at it.
"Let's see...You're not volcanic in nature, but it does sound vaguely female, so Scoria it is!"
Several hours pass while Cookie trains Scoria and the rest of his party, including his newly hatched Togepi (Rapture), and he utterly destroys Team Rocket in the Slowpoke Well.

Bugsy painted his nails, adjusted the straps on his high heels, redid his lipstick, pulled up his fishnets, and powdered his face as he stood in his Gym waiting for a challenger. They seemed to be somewhat scarce these days. Not many people really stopped by Azalea Town, as it was such an out-of-the-way little place, anyways.
A faint sound can be heard, slowly growing louder.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Bugsy recoils as Cookie crashes through the ceiling, riding atop Scoria in a cowboy hat, vest, and assless chaps.
"Yeeehaw!"
Cookie dismounts and challenges Bugsy, and the match begins as Bugsy sends out his Scyther. Scoria barely withstands the opening U-Turn, and destroys the incoming Metapod with Rock Throw. Cookie heals Scoria as Bugsy sends out a Kakuna. Scoria easily defeats this too with Rock Throw, landing a critical hit. Bugsy is forced to send out his Scyther once more. Scoria at full HP, Cookie has no worries as he commands the gigantic Rock Snake to once more lob stones at an insect. But the Scyther moves faster, again using U-Turn and this time scoring a critical hit, bringing the Onix down in one blow.
"DAMMIT YOU TRANNY SHE WAS ********' AWESOME"
Cookie sends out Anastasia, who breathes an Icy Wind to demolish the mantis.
Cookie grabs the Hive Badge and leaves the Gym, wordlessly punching Clarence in the face as he exits.

I KNOOOOOOW
SHE WAS THE GREATEST ONIX EVER
I WAS LIKE "******** YOU YOU GODDAMN DIRTY TRAP OF A GYM LEADER ******** YOU TO ETERNITY"

Gonna snag a post on page 1.
In case I want to update my story/links here