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 Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:42 pm
The title may sound horrible, but I'm dead serious. There is a reason for rape bringing "shame" to its victims in more than one way. It's the lack of evidence versus the claim that starts all of this, so if you have LOTS of evidence that will hold in court, go ahead and tell people.
It's understandable that people recommend that you talk to someone about the pain you are going through after a rape, but if people who knows you (Yes, even your closest friends.) find out that you were raped, they will ******** up your life so bad that that little rape will seem insignificant in comparison.
This is how things go down:
- If you tell them that you were raped, they will grow very concerned.
- If they grow concerned, they will start to wonder about it.
- If they start to wonder about it, they will start to talk to others (their friends or parents) about it.
- Your story will spread in this way, and while doing so, it will become distorted.
- Some people who don't know you too well, will find your claim so bold that they will wonder if you are only out to get attention and sympathy.
- People around you, whether it is out of curiousity or just to defend you, will go all Nancy Drew on you, and start to investigate whether you are guilty or innocent of lying. (To them it's an exciting detective game and something to talk about.)
- This will happen on a subject that you are all torn up about. You will naturally appear weird about the subject in some way.
- Anything out of the ordinary, that does not fit into the stereotypical fantasy image of a completely innocent rape victim to ANYONE, will make you look guilty. Seeing a shrink about the subject will make you look insane.
- The less dirt they find on you, the harder they will look for SOMETHING to report, and will only dig up, and even make up, MORE circumstancial s**t about you that will be spread and talked about, and that in the end will make you look guilty by association.
- By now, if this drama circus has been sufficiently fed, two kinds of people will latch on to it: Psychopaths looking to charm people into believing that they're white knights, and people who are just generally unstable about the subject of rape, and they will both go: "Burn the witch.", for instance "Torture him/her slowly, make his/her life hell." In the very best case, you will get half of these psychopath stalkers against you. They will seek you up where you live and try to break into your house, or alternatively try to find ways to seduce you, and in the end try to rape you "so that you will learn what it feels like".
- You are looking at lots of people fanatically dedicated to destroying your life, including your former friends. They will aid your attacker in any way they can, so if he's out to get revenge on you for telling on him, he is going to get it.
I've survived ten years of this s**t. My best friend actually became good friends with my rapist behind my back, and everything I told him, he told her, and that's just one of many, many things.
Don't let this happen to you. For your own sake, keep quiet, because if you tell anyone, it will only get worse.
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:05 pm
You have a lot of good points in there. But I still think you should tell at least one person.
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:54 pm
Well, you certainly had some very good points there...
But what should one do if you get an STD? Or become pregnant?
You'd have to tell someone who could help...
A parent, a teacher... Otherwise, being quiet in those kinds of cases could lead to serious health issues or even death.
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Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:05 pm
I can see your point which is why you should tell your parents first.
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Yuki Solaria Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:22 pm
yeah good ponts!!!!!! Welcome Bucky Well, you certainly had some very good points there...
But what should one do if you get an STD? Or become pregnant?
You'd have to tell someone who could help...
A parent, a teacher... Otherwise, being quiet in those kinds of cases could lead to serious health issues or even death.
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Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 8:12 pm
Welcome Bucky Well, you certainly had some very good points there...
But what should one do if you get an STD? Or become pregnant?
You'd have to tell someone who could help...
A parent, a teacher... Otherwise, being quiet in those kinds of cases could lead to serious health issues or even death.
I can't help but agree. D:
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Yuki Solaria Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 3:02 pm
P i n o c h u Welcome Bucky Well, you certainly had some very good points there...
But what should one do if you get an STD? Or become pregnant?
You'd have to tell someone who could help...
A parent, a teacher... Otherwise, being quiet in those kinds of cases could lead to serious health issues or even death.
I can't help but agree. D: me too
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:18 pm
Yuki Solaria P i n o c h u Welcome Bucky Well, you certainly had some very good points there...
But what should one do if you get an STD? Or become pregnant?
You'd have to tell someone who could help...
A parent, a teacher... Otherwise, being quiet in those kinds of cases could lead to serious health issues or even death.
I can't help but agree. D: me too Me three But, when I was molested, I kept thinking to myself if I should tell my best friends at school. When I did, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. And they havnt told anyone else. Not even my friend Courtney, who blabs about everything.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:55 pm
Dethani Yuki Solaria P i n o c h u Welcome Bucky Well, you certainly had some very good points there...
But what should one do if you get an STD? Or become pregnant?
You'd have to tell someone who could help...
A parent, a teacher... Otherwise, being quiet in those kinds of cases could lead to serious health issues or even death.
I can't help but agree. D: me too Me three But, when I was molested, I kept thinking to myself if I should tell my best friends at school. When I did, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. And they havnt told anyone else. Not even my friend Courtney, who blabs about everything. Me four Dethani- You have some good friends, then.
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:59 pm
I agree but we still gotta tell at least one or two people about it. Who knows what might happen? You might get a baby because of this and your parents will eventually find out anyways.
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:28 am
well not all the time about the friends wondering it depends some of the time,, i know a friend she was molested twice and she told her friend about the first one and she nevered wondered and nevered told no one,, because for the simple fact she knew how her friend felt second time was by her father and and she told her mother now he was locked up for a long while and now they live in cali while he some where else
but i understand your point u make
but you cant walk around and tell no one for it may lead to depression,, and suicidal attempts,, or thoughts... you always need someone to be there for you
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 2:04 pm
I can't help but think that what happened here might have been a somewhat isolated case. I mean, I went through the same thing when I was younger only it happened within my family. The horrible thing was I basically lost my best friend because the guy who did it tried it with her too and I'm fairly certain part of the reason she doesn't speak to me anymore is because that happened. Other than that... the friends I have told have been really good about keeping it a secret.. and maybe it's the fact that I was 15 or 16 (I can't remember anymore) sweatdrop and had never had sex or really even knew much about it at that age that the only person who even remotely thought I was responsible was his mother... and that's just because he was such a good kid in school and at his house. Just like Death Note... it always seems to be the perfect ones that are royally screwed up... the funny looking ones are always the purest at heart. It caused a big scene in my family for a little while but after that it calmed down and I did a few little things to get back at him like tell one of his school mates what happened in hopes she would make it spread like wildfire... which she did. Other than that... well.... the only bad thing that really happened to me in the after effect is the psychological trauma that comes with the situation and I honestly think I like my personality better now that it's over and I've changed it to protect myself better against things like that.
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 3:45 pm
Those are good points but still you should tell parent
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Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:37 am
This is why I think most of humanity and society is disappointing, and it's really sad that those are good points... Me, myself. I have heard a lot of my friends tell me about their rape stories, and I keep that a secret to myself. I trust my friends, and I don't even ask them about it. They come to me for assistance, and it's really sad that you can't trust people with that kind of stuff, knowing that you have to tell someone. even sadder thing so far is that I can't disagree with any point made in that claim at all.
Really, it is a shame that our human life is in shambles because people are gossips and can't keep their mouth shut and want revenge and anything different about someone makes them weird or insane or anything else insulting to their name.
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:13 pm
Only a handful of my friends know I was molested by a relative. Last time I confessed was with a youth group. I forgave that person. The wound of being molested is there still. My family does not even know I was molested. Except 3 people that person who molested me, my brother and cousin other one. It's not that bad to let it out.
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