Bellatrix's pale blue eyes held worry and tears, her brows were knit tight, and her entire self was tense as she looked around her surroundings, waiting for the zombies with the odd glowing dead center on their chest.
None showed, and timidly Bellatrix began to explore the devastated city. Thunder crashed over head and it began to rain. It was nothing supprising given the overcast sky - so dark one could no tell if it were day or night, except by the moon...
As she walked, Bellatrix started to hear whispers:
'Where were you when we needed you?'
'You didn't do your part!'
'You let us down...'
'You weren't strong enough.'
'You let us all die'
'You could have done something.'
The voices got more and more agonizing the further she walked, and it wasn't long before Bellatrix was on her knees, holding her head as tears streamed down her face, and she screamed out -
"I'm sorry!" A few choked sobs followed and then, "I never meant to let any one down. I didn't know...I didn't know things could end up like this."
Bellatrix had never seen her role as an important one. She was just another brick in the wall. That was what she thought. But this war was like a game of Jenga - remove one block and risk it all coming down. She saw that now. It didn't matter how little you felt, or how little you think you make a difference. It only takes ONE to make a difference. You can't complete a puzzle is there is a piece missing...
Bell had always thought herself a responsible girl... her greatest fear? Letting people down.
And look! Look at the devastation around! She had more than let people down! And the spirits that be deigned it fit to let her live and suffer with her choice. Bellatrix sniffled, and smiled bitterly to herself. It was only right, wasn't it?
Bellatrix opened her teary eyes and looked at her reflection in the puddle she had landed in. Her eyes widened. Behind her were dark shapes with a glow in their chest. Heart fluttering she looked behind her, but no one was there. She looked back to the puddle, and the figures had changed...changed to any of the various many faces she had met at the mass Senshi meeting.
"You let us down."
The whispers in her head? But it sounded so...so close, so tangible, so THERE....
"You let us all down."
It came again,...a garble of many voices.
Bellatrix closed her eyes. She would have most preferred this continue the path it had before where she was running from zombies! This...this was horrible.
Once again she looked around but saw nothing. No zombies, no ghosts... She stood, and walked on. It didn't seem to matter what direction she chose, she always ended up facing the castle. And so, to the castle she went! The voices persisted, tearing at her will, her shattered fortitude...until she reached those twisted, gnarled, gates. She touched them, and the voices silenced. Like in her previous dreams, the gate opened of its own accord and slammed shut behind her. Bellatrix walked up the hill towards the castle in relative peace. At least, from the voices. There was still a since of impending doom that looked over her.
Opening the dark doors of the castle, she was met once again with pure black...all but that one large window bathed in red moonlight. Before it, like the last time, was a figure silhouetted against it. She could only guess that it was a woman with really, really long hair, but no other features were distinguishable. The figure turned and presumably looked at her. That was when Bellatrix felt like she was having her very soul ripped from her. She screamed...
---
Bell awoke screaming. It had become a semi regular occurrence - one that was having a definite effect on her grades and all over psyche.
She reached once again for her journal and wrote down all the new details of this recent nightmare, and made a vow;
'I might only be a brick in the wall, but I will not let anyone down!'
