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 Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 7:33 pm
And finally, things had settled down.
The war had been a been a vexing time for Tegan, but such things usually were. He hated unrest. He simply was not a man of conflict- of heated emotions. It sickened him to see cubs go without food, and sacrifices be lured into the conflict with false promises of freedom and life. The ones that hadn't died [- to think, sending untrained sacrifices into combat!] were slaves now. Were they truly better off now, he wondered? It left a sour taste in his mouth.
But, that wasn't the only thing on his mind that afternoon. For the past week as the pride had been realigning, Tapu had all but dropped off the radar. Working, no doubt. If the spirits were speaking, they were no doubt screaming into the ears of those who would listen- but, he hoped they'd oblige him long enough to make sure she had a decent meal in her.
Most would approach haruspex with caution. Tegan approached her as one might approach a belligerent child. He started speaking before she'd even turned to notice him. Better to ease her into the real world slowly. "...Ah! There she is. You'd think we were having a war," he mused to himself. "I've come to make sure you're eating. War alone is not sustenance, or so I hear."
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:00 pm
Had Tegan echoed his thoughts to Tapu, she may very well have scolded him in the way an overprotective sister might correct a sibling. The spirits had favoured the war. In fact, given its circumstances, it seemed they had more than favoured it. It is this, all of this, that their live's were surrounded by. To not have gone to war would have been foolish, but to not see it to its full potential, in Tapu's eyes, would be downright deadly.
There had been losses. There always would be, but there had been far more gains. The spirits were always, always right.
At the moment, she was not working, not physically. There were no dead animals strewn about, no entrails to pick through and read. However, even without a physical moment, her mind was clicking, thinking.
She did not notice Tegan. Not until he had start speaking, and even then, not until moments later. One ear flicked back, her mouth open to ask what was wanted, before she realized who, in fact, it was.
It took her moments to get onto her feet, the images and code of wound intestines put to the side of her mind as she turned slowly.
"Tegan," she began her sentence, the word slightly quipped as though he'd told her to eat a thousand times over the course of the time they'd known each other. He had. She had yet to get sick oft it.
"I've eaten enough." Which was to say, she certainly had not. The last few days had left her almost obsessed with her task. Even when the pridal curiosity was sated, hers was often not. There were always questions to asks, things to decode. Some of the sacrifices had been poor, but she had received most of her answers.
"Don't start with me. I will eat later. There are things. . . too many things to think about to stop." A pause, a sigh, and then she walked the rest of the way to him.
His stress seemed none, while her brows were always furrowed. It seemed unnatural for someone to have no worry. Such a blue coat. Perhaps it was a connection she could not yet see. She would miss his constant nagging, but she was proud of that boldness. So many of these sacrifices would become cowards. Tapu was sure that Tegan would move up in the ranks upon another life.
"Come, walk with me for a bit." Ease my mind, she didn't say, but it was there lingering in the unspoken air.
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:29 pm
Why worry when she did all the worrying for him? He arched his brow as she snipped at him. Her words, sharp as daggers, flew past him and dissipated into nothing. It was a game they'd played before. He wasn't so easily chased off. "Eaten enough? Forgive me for...doubting that." Nothing stopped Tapu when she had a question. Which was all well and good. The problem was, that Tapu tended to have a million questions on her mind at any given time.
Sacrifice. He saw it faintly dance before her eyes. Why was it she gave him that look every time they met? It was always some curiosity to him, and he couldn't help but smile. So serious! As though he were dying before her, fleeting. He was anything but. She'd have to see him out of this world but once! He seemed to have to drag her back to life on a weekly basis.
Who was at the disadvantage, he wondered?
But, for his ease, he did seem a bit concerned when she finally walked towards him. Something on her mind? Not surprising, but it was a rarity that she was so... overt about it. He wasn't about to dismiss the invitation. "Of course, so long as it's in the direction of the hunters."
Was he in the position to demand something of her? Perhaps not. But then, maybe she should stop obliging him too. He fell into stride beside her, his bright mane falling across his face. "How speak the spirits? Hopefully not as dire as your face," he asked lightly, leaning forward. As though it was she who would be affected by their moods.
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:54 pm
The smile that seemed to grace is face so often only seemed to harden the serious demeanor on hers. It seemed offensive, that smile, and she looked back for quite a few moments, her mind wondering what caused him to always be so happy. The corners of her lips twitched as though she thought to show happiness despite this. As soon as she had considered the idea, the thought was cast away to be pulled apart by the spirits.
The of course was taken in stride. A brief nod, and she took the first step forwards only to stop. It was with tightly furrowed brows and clenched teeth that she looked back at him. This look was followed shortly by a glance over her shoulder - something only he might catch - before she raised both her brows and submitted.
"Fine." There was no 'very well'. No coolness to the moment. It clearly irked her to be told what to do. She was used to ordering about, having her readings revered. Although she held sacrafices in high esteem, as everyone should, it was only those above her in rank that she could swallow her pride for.
As if to punish him, she made her strides long and the pace fast. It seemed to help her mind think faster. It kept her fit in any case.
His wisecracks earned him a click of the tongue. "Most of them are pleased," Tapu answered him. To anyone else, she would have simply answered 'pleased'.
"I am worried about some of the tells," she explained after a moment of silence. "I have far more questions now than I have sacrifices." And to sacrifice them early, without cause, would be unthinkable. During the war, it had been easy. Now, she was at a loss. It aggravated her to no end to find that she did not have every answer, and that there would likely be trouble brewing again on the surface.
She would have guessed it due to Sakata's children, but it simply could not be just that. Jealous spirits? It seemed unlikely with those signs.
"These cowardly sacrifices they've turned into slaves will not help me, either. They get in the way." A good slave was a good slave. She agreed with their presence, but she did not have to like them. That was not in the rules.
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:46 pm
He was appeased, even as she made fleeting attempts at getting back at him. He fixed his gait towards hers, and strode beside her with the same careless grin. But although his face was careless, he listened to her concerns with intent. He didn't pretend to understand the ways of the spirits: what appeased them, what did not. He knew that war was taxing on the soul. And he knew the lines on her face.
"Not all questions will be answered," he reminded. Not so much to stop her and the others from going claw happy on the sacrifices- but to remind her that even if she had, she'd never get the clear picture she sought. Her mind wouldn't allow it. "Just think of the war itself. We know all the faces, all the crimes. All the battles. All the players, and we still have questions."
It didn't surprise him to hear slaves were harassing her for assistance either. As the one the majority of them feared- Tapu was likely to see no end of ex-sacrifices clawing to get back into good graces. "Slaves... yes, they've been busy getting underfoot, haven't they? Poor bastards. Seen some. Half have the look of death upon them."
It was a haunting notion. Had they not expected the possibility of defeat? Did they think war was easy? He had seen Sakata's rulings, and they had been just ones. There were far worse things in life then being a slave... although, he didn't envy the ones who dared try to serve Tapu. Poor bastards indeed.
A smile stretched across his maw. "Did I ever tell you they tried to recruit me, before the war? Thought I suffered so miserably under the wicked claw. I suppose I would have been enslaved to you, you know. For continuity's sake."
He seemed more amused by this then she did. His tail flicked. But, he didn't come to Tapu for laughs. "But, I do not think you need to be a haruspex to see that there's still trouble brewing."
And then, in the same mixture of flippant seriousness. "I worry about you. You needn't stop working, but don't suffer the spirits an empty stomach. Ah! Make use of those slaves even. Send hordes to trouble me with mindless updates about your eating habits for the day," he thrummed. "Just don't get so lost in a puzzle that you forget to come up for air now and then."
He sighed, perhaps a bit dramatically. "But then...I feel like we've had this conversation before."
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:07 pm
There he went, telling her the obvious that she could never see. Despite the bitterness it brought to her tongue, she gave him a light nod of agreement. He was right, despite her unwillingness to admit this fact.
As she glanced towards him after the topic, the smile nearly ended in a flinch. What could he possibly be smiling about? If there had been a way to ask the spirits what went on in Tegan's head, Tapu would have done so in a heartbeat. There were so many motives she understood. Basic lion nature, the fear of death despite what greatness it granted them, but Tegan was just always smiling. As if he'd done this a thousand times before.
"I suppose," she answered, moving her sight forwards once more.
A flick of the ear accompanied this movement. She was still listening. A light twitch of the lips made it across her face somewhat akin to smiling.
"Don't be foolish." A quick snap of her tail. "If I sent you slaves that often, the rumours would start." It was a try at humour, although a poor one.
It brought on a bought of silence that she had not been looking forwards to. Tegan was right. This conversation had been repeated many times before in thousands of variations. Static.
The next words were dry, almost uncertain to the trained ear though her voice held its steady consistency. "If you're bored with quipping about my eating habits, what do you propose we do talk about, Tegan?"
Tapu had not yet realized the ease at which Tegan had switched her away from the worries of her work and onto a much different subject. Had she, Tapu might have walked away.
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:34 pm
Now it was his turn to give the click. He shook his head, encouraging whatever he could get from her. "Well! We can't have rumors now, can we! And let me tell you, slaves are notorious gossipers." He spoke with a knowing tongue, as though he had some inside line. Or maybe he was just pulling out of thin air. Tegan himself didn't even seem certain about that one, but he coddled the notion that maybe she might take his advice. An extreme rarity, he knew. But stranger things had happened.
"Talk about?" He tossed his mane. "Something other then nagging? I only had so many speeches prepared, Tapu! How about bathing? You've been bathing- haven't you? Sleeping?"
His bright eyes veiled themselves briefly, as he changed gears. Enough joking. "But, no. I'm glad enough to see it's not as bad as it seemed. Give it time. You'll have the answers. Maybe fifty more questions, but... I'm sure you'll love that too." His mind rolled. Something to talk about? Something to weigh her mind a bit more easily.
Unfortunately, with the war so fresh in his mind it was almost impossible to separate from it. So he let the first thing bubble into his mind. "I had a strange dream, just the night before. Dare you attempt to interpret it? I doubt it is remarkable, but I would love to hear an analysis. Perhaps there is some dark secret to my psyche, buried within."
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:54 pm
Why she tolerated his continuous joking, Tapu had never understood. How long had these charades been going on between them? The fact that Tapu could not remember meant she'd drifted into a state of familiarity. Not dangerous as she knew it was there, but she had to keep her mind fresh for changes in the world. As consistent as it seemed, it was always changing. The spirits made sure to take it in every direction they willed.
Sleep. The sudden reminder hit her hard. Had she been sleeping? Yes. Enough? No. Even when she settled down, her mind was swarming with the ideas of the next reading and what she might have missed in the last.
Tegan would not have the satisfaction of having reminded her. It was noted and shoved back into her mind with the thousands of other things she felt obligated to do. Tonight she'd attempt to set aside her worries and catch a decent span of shut eye.
"Don't underestimate yourself. Your may very well have a strong spiritual connection." She was referring to, of course, the distinct blues. Of course, his brightness and the slight touch of green prevented, or perhaps protected him, from the distinctive stability of the pride as a whole.
"Try me. I'm sure it's nothing I can't do." And she believed it. If Tegan's dream was anything out of the ordinary, but she failed to interpret it, then something was very amiss in the world indeed.
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:27 pm
"Ah, you say that but you haven't heard the dream! You may regret giving me too much credit. The spirits may have honored me, but I don't pretend to have them speak to me." He chuckled. "I'm actually more curious to see if it is even decipherable."
And perhaps, give her a puzzle that was not so dire. Truthfully, he wondered what she might read into it, and whether or not there would be accuracy to it. He could only imagine what the right mind would want to see into him. "Now, remember. This is strictly for our amusement basis only." He wondered if that was a futile request.
"So, in the dream- it starts where I'm not myself. I'm someone familiar, but not anyone I've ever met. I can't...I can't say what I look like, but I can tell you the dream was in color. I remember vivid blues and greens, and the yellows of these small flowers in bloom. I'm very young, but I'm on a hunt. And in front of me, there are thousands upon thousands of wildebeast," his voice trailed off. He had never been a particularly excellent hunter- something which he was sure Tapu was probably aware of. "I am waiting for the others to start the hunt, but I can't see them anywhere."
"But, up ahead there is a calf. He's split from the herd, and he's a perfect target. The most perfect target you could have ever asked for. I know to wait for my friends- but they aren't acting. I can't find them in the grass. I know if I don't try to catch it, we might not catch anything at all. So when it stumbles close to me, I pounce." His eyes closed, as though he were remembering.
"And then..its sort of not clear. I land on the beast, but suddenly it is so small. It's like, the size of my paw, and I feel that something isn't right. It's making this horrible noise, like screaming. I don't want to touch it. Like something is... unnatural about it. But it's sticky, like the fur is still wet from its mother. And I can't get the little thing off me." He tilted his head to the side. "Then I see my friends. They're watching me, and they're confused. They're walking away- leaving all this prey."
"I finally pull the thing from me, and I run after them. The grass sticks to my paws. Now I really am me, not some other lion. Everything is just sticking to my feet- the flowers, the stones; everything. I can't get it off me. It gets so bad I can't walk, so I just fall over. Then the beasts come around, and they lick my paws. They eat the grass off them until they're clean. They spit out the stones. And then they walk away." He straightens himself out. He finds his dream amusing, at least till this part.
"So, my friends come around me. They have this funny look about them. One of them says, 'That's what they do.' As though this is something I should know! And then it ends. It's...it's a bit hard to describe. It sounds crazy, yes. It IS crazy. But it was so bright. Like, you know how your eyes blur when you look at the sun? And you look down, and you see these... saturated colors. That's what the dream was like. It was like the sun was burning at me all the while. Normally, I can't say I dream in color at all."
A grin stretched across his face. "What do you think? Should I be troubled? Unresolved issues- perhaps?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:08 am
It was true. Tapu had not yet heard the dream, and part of her was beginning to wonder if he had even had one. Then, he explained that he was curious about it and Tapu settled in.
The relaxation on her body was easy to see. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the sound of his voice, nodding at certain intervals. It seemed, though it was supposed to be an amusing event, Tapu was taking it far more than seriously.
Keywords were easy to pick out, but Tegan had been correct. There was certainly a lot of discrepancy in the nature of the dream. It could have been nothing, but Tapu had been so crazed by answers lately that she refused to believe it was just that.
"Yes. Unresolved issues in a past life. Or, perhaps this one."
There was a long delay as she thought about it and opened her eyes. She leaned back onto her legs and cracked her shoulders before she as prepared to speak again.
"You lack the proper ending for a dream about your hunting inadequacies, which is you being very close to succeeding, and then getting led astray. No, your wildebeast changed." Tapu could not continue until she had swallowed the bile in her throat. The concept seemed to disturb her. Perhaps it was the effort of deep concentration.
"It is a representation of vulnerability. Regardless of their status as adults, the moment before you kill a wildebeast, you have pushed it back into that moment of birth. The person is not you, and therefore is likely a wish to have empathy and morals. A war can spark dreams of this nature. Having a subconscious that tries to understand the opposition's life is common.
"In particular, Wildebeast are a sign of family. A great number of them shows success, good years. But, it is not something you can obtain. The earth ties you down, the grass may represent your cowardly spirit. It is green, it keeps you from going where you need to.
"The stones can mean solidity, or pain. That they spit them out is rejection of this solidity. You can either move forwards, or be grounded. Neither you or the beasts seem to wish the second." There was a short pause as she went back through the dream once more in her head, picking out vague details.
"But the last line, that is intriguing, and what makes me think you may have convoluted a personal message from the spirits in your mind. The Wildebeast may be a representation of the spirits themselves. They exist in numeration. They are essential to our survival, but we cannot kill them the wrong way or we suffer the consequences. Sometimes all this is, is guilt. We do not understand them completely, but the phrase time and time and again is 'That's what they do'. Why do they choose to help us? What makes some spirits angry?"
She took a deep breath. Even during readings she never explained this much. It was formed almost completely in her head and summarized and made pretty for the rest of the Mizi to shout and cry about.
"In short, it is post-war guilt and perhaps a glimpse of how your spirit is adapting to this particular span of life. I am not surprised that your dreams are a bit erratic. Nothing noteworthy, despite its seeming interest. You have nothing to be troubled over."
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:53 am
He listens to her explanation of his dream with much the same quiet interest that she had given him in telling it. Tegan wasn't a serious soul. He wasn't sure how he saw dreams, other then a puzzle to amuse his stressed friend with. But even he had to admit, she struck him. A bit more then he was expecting to be, and he had to struggle to make that not so readily apparent on his face.
"I..." He couldn't find the words. Flustered, a smile crossed his face and he started to chuckle. "Ah! You're in danger of making a believer of me. I don't think I've ever heard a more apt reading. The thing you said about the wildebeast; about life returning to the moment of birth... that's very striking. I never would have thought to look at it like that."
In fact, it was hard for him to even brush it off. It was something to think about, certainly. Many of her points were very deep. Vulnerability. He liked to think he was not vulnerable. That he chased away guilt and concerns with an easy smile. Even after the subjects change, that notion would remain with him. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. But he knew she was right. "I can't dispute any of it. Not even if I tried."
"I'm flustered, Tapu- here I was expecting to confound you, and you've got me speechless!" He shook his head, admitting defeat. She'd won by a landslide in this little game, and he was thoroughly impressed. "I struggle to understand others, particularly at times like this."
And the stones. Pain. The spirits pulling them off of him. Well. He supposed he knew all about that. For a moment, his eyes grew solemn and he seemed to be lost in thought.
And just as quickly, it was gone. "I'm glad it's nothing serious though. I don't like the idea of past traumas and unknown neurosis tormenting me."
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:46 pm
When the revelation was complete, she raised a brow over the speechless nature that Tegan had found himself in. This was certainly not within the normal span of his character. Shifting her weight to rest more on her hind legs, Tapu surveyed him with a mute expression. Both brows were raised by the time he had started to chuckle. His reaction was perplexing, for Tegan.
"That is why I am a Haruspex," she explained to him. Though melancholy on the surface, Tapu's posture and the change to her facial expression betrayed the pride and gloat that Tapu gathered from his approval. Approval of any kind was often come by, but Tegan was rarely a serious flatterer, though he always seemed a flatterer at heart.
The pride, the joy, and those interfering emotions halted the second Tegan brought up a struggle of understanding. Tongue clicking softly against the roof of her mouth, Tapu resumed the walk she had ceased to read his dreams. "Spirits are much easier to read than the living soul." Who Tapu was scolding was not quite evident nor was it entirely relevant to her reason for catching onto the subject at hand.
"It would be fascinating, Tegan, to introspect over past lives. It seems as though there should be enough hints to piece together what one's self was like before they inhabited their current body." A quick pause was made to give her walking companion a look down.
"Bring me more of yours dreams, Tegan. I should like to hear them. Perhaps we can both give something to our community that has not been given before." A moment of silence seperated these, typical words of business from ones only reserved for those she considered trustworthy. "I would appreciate it."
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