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 Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:03 pm
Here's the story....
Four people, completely Different from one another and Alike at the same time, end up in a random, rinky-dink town up in Maine. Some were forced. Others went there by choice. Their stories contain lifetimes of darkness, more than most can handle. Travel along with them as they're lives get darker before the sun shines upon them again, nearly pushing them to and over the edge they've walked all their lives.
Interested Yet? Okay, here's the deal. This is a story me and Rogue have been writing since the end of '07. We've worked very hard on this, writing and revising and losing and getting it back and... the notebook with the story in it has a history. Tell us what you think of it, what we should add or take out. Fix, or what you like. Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated by both of us.
And just to give her a little more credit, Rogue's mostly the reason that it's gotten as far as it has. With my short attention span, I can't focus on things for long. She kicks my butt back into line quite often when it comes to my stories. She, also, is the mind behind Seiri's creation.
My point behind these ramblings, because i digress, is that you should be respectful. With all things in life, not just these type of things. Well, i think the was my point. I think this was also a disclaimer.Hello, This is Rogue writing from BT's Post.
[[Look, I've abbreviated your name even more-so! Back on topic (back to onion.../inside joke)]]
Just so everyone knows, this story is mostly Sam's writing. I've only made minor adjustments and given input into it. Aside from a few sections in the notebook itself (I would completely give out gold if someone could pick out my part of the story) 96.93754% of the story is Sam.
Minor background, this story started while we were in seventh grade, three years ago, as a notebook we passed back and forth between classes. I wish everyone could see the raw version of it to see the growth that can happen within the short years. And for a direct response, if I did better butt kicking, it would have gotten a little further.
Let's see if this time it will really work!
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:13 pm
The Rules
1. All Guild Rules apply in here. I shouldn't have to say this.
2. NO Bashing, insults or rude comments of any kind. None of the "This is an awful story. Just delete it all" stuff. I will personally take offense to anything of the sort, considering I've been writing this for years.
3. Rogue Phoenix Fire is co-creator of this story. What we say, goes.
4. I like constructive criticism. 3nodding
5. I'm out of rules. I'll think of more later.
ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!!!
Most importantly!
The story got a name! And we (I) give a huge round of applause to Rogue for coming up with it after... 3 years?
Name in question? Look Up.
Rogue:
I wrote some of the parts coming up. an you find them? (Better yet...can I find them?)
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:39 pm
SettingJackman, Maine.
2006- 2009. I never really picked a time frame.Charachers
Name: Rebecca De-sage
Age: 22
Appearance: Brunette, with a height of 5'7". She has blue eyes that are as clear as ice. Slender and fit for her age.
Personality: Spunky and open-minded, Rebecca has a lot of energy and loves helping people. She is extremely friendly but prefers her solitude if she has the choice.
Biography: Rebecca comes from a very long line of psychic witches, her line spanning back to the Irish Celts. Of course her father hadn't know about that little fact until he and her mother were married and she was born. He left shortly after finding out and moved very far away, leaving her with no clue who he was. Her mother was never around for reasons beyond her knowledge so she was always with her Aunt Frost and her daughters. She passed the time learning whatever they were willing to teach her. Advanced spells and potions were all at her fingertips and she felt unstoppable. When she turned 16, tragedy struck her family, forcing her to run away and start her new life in Maine.
Favorite Things: The movie "Resident Evil". The book "The Road Of The Dead. The animal, the bat. The mythical Creature, The Vampire.
Race: Witch
Nationality: French Canadian
Power: Mind reading, Telekinesis, Precognition
Job: Teaching Assistant
Other:She carries around an athame hidden in her left boot an keeps The ancient family Spell Book ,that she stole from her mother, with her most days.Name: Denver James Montgomery A.K.A D.J
Age: 23
Appearance: A 6'0" honey blond. Fairly fit, lean. He has 2 different colored eyes, One golden and one dark red. He wears contacts to keep them a t a neutral brown.
Personality: Calm and collected, D.J. is a bit of a smart a** and is quick with the quips. He's not good at handling new things. He can be a flirt and will try to hit on almost every girl, but i mean, even he had standards.
Biography: D.J. lived a calm life in his European homes. His mother died in child birth and his father couldn't handle the idea of raising a child alone. Denver was adopted by a wealthy merchant when he reached the age of 2. He was given almost everything he wanted. And that means A LOT of BOOKS. He graduated Oxford with a bachelors in both Music and Law at the age of 20. One night, years after he graduated, He was walking home with his buddies when they spotted a club called Dark Side. They all went in an he didn't come out. He woke in Maine with no Knowledge of what happened to his or his friends.
Favorite things:Movie, Interview wit ha Vampire. Book, Life as We Knew It. Animal, Dog. Mythical Creature, Gryphon
Race:Vampire
Nationality:British/English
Powers:Super Speed, Sensitive and powerful hearing, Keen sense of smell.
Job: Bookstore Owner- Moonlight Books.
Other: T/B/AName: Nathaneil Greene
Age: 22
Appearance: 6'5" male with midnight black hair long enough to stay messy all the time. Being very fit and extremely well built, girls tend to fall all over him. His cold, dark brown eyes drive them away.
Personality:A pessimist to no extent, he lives a very quiet life away from others. He has a large temper and always looks cold and uncaring. But it's you're brave enough to break through his shell, you'll find a very warm and comforting man.
Biography: Nathaneil has lived his life away from normal people. His mother was actually the one who turned him into a werewolf. They were arguing about his father when he was just 8 years old. He wanted to meet his father, having no clue who the man was. He started to run out the door, furiously, when his mother tried to grab his arm and missed, leaving a deep cut in his skin. He continued running until his legs couldn't carry him anymore. His mother found him as the moon started to rise. He went through the first change and was so terrified of himself that he ran once more, running faster than his mother. Scared of what he had become, he hid in a cave for most of the years to come. When he was 16, a lost little girl found his cave during the full moon. He attacked her . Feeling absolutely horrible, he fled from the sight. He eventually found his way to Maine and lived in the woods outside town.
Favorite Stuff: Book, Cell. Animal, wolf(duh).
Race: Werewolf
Nationality: Native American
Job: Wild Life Conservationist
Powers: Tracking Skills and super fast healing.
Other: He has a scar on his shoulder that his mother left when she scratched him.Name: Seiri No Last Name
Age: 16(my youngest!)
Appearance: At a height of 5'3", she looks like a child with her long black hair and violet eyes. Though she is small, she is also scrawny from lack of food.
Personality:Seiri is, by definition, a trouble-maker. She's overly sarcastic quite often but can be friendly if she wants to be. Most people get freaked out about her eye so she uses that against them any time she can. She's very good a reading people's emotions.
Biography:After her mother died in child labor, her father hated and abused her. After multiple blows to the head, she was thrown against a wall and knocked out. When she awoke, she found that she had too much damage to her eardrums and could not hear. Afterward, she ran away to America. A few days after, she ran into a large wolf and was attacked by it. She passed out from loss of blood and woke up with a large scar that ran across her lower- back and came around ending just below her collarbone. Although she was born in France, Seiri had landed somewhat close to Jackman, Maine. She mostly lived on the streets for about 6 years (to the present). During that time she was raped by a vampire thus creating her undying hated for the entire species.
Favorite Things: A silver snowflake necklace that belonged to her mother.
Race:Werewolf
Nationality:French
Job: Dog walker by day, thief by night.
Powers: Speed, and reflexes
Other: She is deaf, a fact few people know. She is a great thief. She can read peoples lips almost perfectly however she does occasionally screw up. She can also speak French and English fluently.
**NOTE** The pictures are not exact! But they are as close as I can get them right now.
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:44 pm
Prologue
Where am I?
What am I?
It's very dark here but i can see fine. This place...it's a motel room!
But why am I here?
I remember a...a girl with...brown-ish hair. Then darkness.
What is happening to me?
I feel weird; my head is spinning like crazy and my stomach is empty.
That's what's wrong, Im just hungry! Nothing weird about that. But what do i want?
Something warm and sweet. Maybe some kind of nectar.
When I turn on a light, it burns my eyes. Everything has such detail now.
When I look in mirror, All I see is the things behind me. I don't thing the question is what am I.
I think it's....
What have I become! My life has changed so much in the last week. I see new thing that I don't mind and I am meeting new people.
But my past haunts me so much. It's in my nightmares and the guilt is getting to me. I can't see things clearly anymore.
Thoughts blend together and I can't pick out any one anymore.
I'm starting to wish I'd stayed home, where my family could help me.
After all these years, I'm getting homesick. I love it here.
The fall is so lovely and winter is amazing. Summers aren't as hot as they were at home.
Maine is wonderful, but there's something in the air that's messing with my power.
I can't explain it. Something bad is close. That I know. But when or what is what scares me the most.I hate who I am.
I’m a monster, maybe a murder.
Why didn’t I stay to help her? It was my fault. And I know she’s dead. But what can I do now?
Pity myself for running? Beat myself up? What good would that do?
Why my mother? Why did she have to do this to me!
She hated me this much. I could have live with my father and none of this would’ve happened.
But, this better for it to be me. This could be some other kid in my place. And they’d be wishing it were some one besides them.
For once, I wish I could be the good guy instead of the evil villain. I hate him! How could that man be my flesh and blood!
He’s a monster and because of him, my world will never be the same.
Its not my fault my mother is dead…well maybe it is.
What am I saying! I’m not a killing monster. I haven’t ruined anyone’s life like he has.
Like this other thing has. Now I truly am a monster with the scar to prove it across my back.
What did I do to deserve this! My life is nothing but pain….
Maybe I should have stayed in France and let him finish me off.
I’m sick of this pain. I can’t handle any more. And I’m only sixteen.
This country sucks.
That country sucked too.
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Rogue Phoenix Fire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:48 pm
Pink for Seiri? Seriously?
Aside from that though, I'm happy to see the story coming back to life.
Question-For an overall prologue, should we come up with one for each character? You have a bit for Rebecca and D.J., but perhaps one for Nathaniel and Seiri too?
(It's been so lonce since I've seen this story I just questioned if I was spelling Seiri correctly...)
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:57 pm
I actually have the rest of them... on the other computer. I'll get to them once Greg moves over all the documents.
And it's actually not pink, It's violet.
See?
Violet I don't know why it looks pink but... not much i can do about that.
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Rogue Phoenix Fire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:31 pm
Alright! Can't wait for those to get added! What about the deviant portions? Will those be changed or be a starting point?
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:01 pm
I'm starting it over in here. I'll use the written one and deviant as guidelines, though. It'll stay a lot of the same but somethings just need to get spruced up.
What i'm gonna do while writing it in here is; type a few pages, pause for comments, then continue. Not whole chapters at once.
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Rogue Phoenix Fire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:12 pm
Yeah, If you don't mind, I'll quote what you post and make adjustments and specify them below. Does that sound like an acceptable process?
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:14 pm
Oh Oui Oui Ma Amie! And even gonna color code the post so I don't get myself confused xd
In fact, I'll start typing now.
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Rogue Phoenix Fire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:20 pm
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:48 pm
CHATPER ONE
Captured
A tall figure stood within the shadows, watching carefully as the innocent townspeople strolled by the the cool March night. Th end of winter was here and everyone seemed to be enjoying the first non-freezing night of the year. The light breeze passed through his golden hair playfully tousling it into his warm brown eyes and ruffling his thin black shirt.
D.J. stood against the alley's wall with his arms crossed over his slender torso, waiting impatiently for someone of his tastes to walk by. The hunger within him was getting into his head and making him feel like less of a civilized human-pretender and more like predator he denied he was. He didn't like it one bit. But he was picky, not wanting to bite just anyone. He tried to go for criminals. The world would be far better off with even one less law-breaker. Birds flew by overhead, going back home from the south, but he could have mistaken them as birds; bats were more likely, in all justice.
About a year ago, almost to the day, D.J. had gone into a club called Darkside with his mates. A few days later, he awoke in a strange town, in a strange state, in a strange country half away across the world from his home. The very thoughts over the incident made his blood boil up. He hated those... Monsters for bringing him here, to this god-forsaken place, for stealing him away from his loving father and his home and his friends, the first real time he tried something different from the norm.
The moon was so beautiful in its fullest state. A wolf could be heard in the distant woodlands, about 2 miles outside city limits. A lone wolf, separated from it's pack, it's family. D.J. understood with all the pain in his heart. He suppressed a sigh and stood straight, away from the wall, and alerted. There was an unusual scent in the air, heading in his direction. He felt a slight pang of sorrow for the unlucky human behind the scent, for he made an unconscious discussion to meet it head on.
Walking slowly, he walked down the intricate array of back alleyways, searching for the owner to which the scent belongs, when he suddenly stopped within the darkest, narrowest alley of the maze. The sky lit up suddenly as lightning shot across the darkness of the rain clouds. The thunder crashed practically over his head making him want to shrink; his ears ringing louder than if he was standing under a church bell while it rang for mass. Rain poured down from the clouds, instantly soaking everything.
D.J. looked around, not moving a muscle at all, alert and ready to attack. Everything was blurred, the untimely rain blinding him. With a vampire's hearing, the rain bouncing off the trashcans and the walls, giving him a massive headache. As he struggled to listen through it, he could hear the footsteps of people out on the main road rushing out of the downpour, about 20 feet ahead of him and... above? He listened to what was happening on the roof about him for a moment. At the sound of what he guessed to be a person heaving themselves over the ledge, his head shot up just in time to see a black figure flying down towards him.
He tried to jump out of the way of the attacker as best as he knew how but he couldn't beat gravity. The heel of the boot scraped across his skull. His attacker did a back-hand spring and landed on their feet behind D.J., after using him as a launch pad, blocking his possible exit to the street. He turned to face the person; it was small, whatever it was. He would've been surprised if it was over 5'5".
It was wearing a baggy shirt and a very nice slimming pair of dark blue, boot cut jeans. On the feet was a pair of real working boots, covered in mud. It's face was covered by a black ski mask, though the eyes were uncovered. He had to take a second look at them. It's eyes were a vibrant shade of violet that was absolutely mesmerizing.
D.J. forgot about the eyes long enough to find that his head was throbbing. He slowly reached his hand behind his head and found the gash. He already knew there was blood, he could smell it. "Ouch, That fricken hurt! What the hell was the for?!"
"You exist, you damn leech! What more do you have to do?" A female voice shot back, the french accent was thick as molasses. It was full of anger, disgust, and something that made no sense. Pain, and a lot of it, in her voice. How was she in pain! I’m the one she jumped on. I’m the one bleeding. He thought to himself. “If you vampires were 6 feet deep, like you belonged, you would never have gotten in my way.” The insult spat out icily as the girl went at him with a wide right hook that was dodged with ease.
She growled at him as he smirked. The girl in black paused as she missed and swung back her arm into his jaw. Not hesitating, she swung her right leg up and hit him square in the opposite side of the jaw with her calf. D.J. turned slightly to try and lessen the blow, and completely failed. She was expecting something like that so she jumped down on that foot and slammed her other knee into the underside of his chin.
His hand rubbed his now sore mouth as he staggered a bit. “Damn, you’ve got a really strong pair of legs there… and that’s something to look for in such a young female such as yourself.” He smiled quite sexily, a smile that would make any female and homosexual's heart melt, mostly forgetting that this was the same girl that had beat the s**t out of him but moments ago.
All she did was glare at him and… well, try and rip his throat out. As her clawed hand reached up to the span of his neck, his hand enclosed around hers, making it look extremely small. His jaw and hand tightened as he bent her wrist backwards, earning a tortured scream.
Pause... Comments? I'll update tomorrow. We're currently at the end of pg5.
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Rogue Phoenix Fire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:09 pm
Blood_Thorn07 CHATPER ONE
CapturedA tall figure stood within the shadows, watching carefully as the innocent townspeople strolled by the the cool March night. The end of winter was here and everyone seemed to be enjoying the first non-freezing night of the year. The light breeze passed through his golden hair playfully tousling it into his warm brown eyes and ruffling his thin black shirt.
D.J. stood against the alley's wall with his arms crossed over his slender torso, waiting impatiently for someone of his tastes to walk by. The hunger within him was getting into his head and making him feel like less of a civilized human-pretender and more like predator he denied he was. He didn't like it one bit. But he was picky, not wanting to bite just anyone. He tried to go for criminals. The world would be far better off with even one less law-breaker. Birds flew by overhead, returning home from the south, but he could been mistaken; bats were more likely, in all justice.
About a year ago, almost to the day, D.J. had gone into a club called Darkside with his mates. A few days later, he awoke in a strange town, in a strange state, in a strange country half away across the world from his home. The very thoughts over the incident made his blood boil up. He hated those... Monsters for bringing him here, to this god-forsaken place, for stealing him away from his loving father and his home and his friends, the first real time he tried something different from the norm.
The moon was so beautiful in its fullest state. A wolf could be heard in the distant woodlands, about two miles outside city limits. A lone wolf, separated from it's pack, it's family. D.J. understood with all the pain in his heart. He suppressed a sigh and stood straight, away from the wall, and alerted. There was an unusual scent in the air, heading in his direction. He felt a slight pang of sorrow for the unlucky human behind the scent, for he made an unconscious discussion to meet it head on.
Walking slowly, he walked down the intricate array of back alleyways, searching for the owner to which the scent belongs, when he suddenly stopped within the darkest, narrowest alley of the maze. The sky lit up suddenly as lightning shot across the darkness of the rain clouds. The thunder crashed practically over his head making him want to shrink; his ears ringing louder than if he was standing under a church bell while it rang for mass. Rain poured down from the clouds, instantly soaking everything.
D.J. looked around, not moving a muscle at all, alert and ready to attack. Everything was blurred, the untimely rain blinding him. With a vampire's hearing, the rain bouncing off the trashcans and the walls giving him a massive headache. As he struggled to listen through it, he could hear the footsteps of people out on the main road rushing out of the downpour, about 20 feet ahead of him and...above? He listened to what was happening on the roof about him for a moment. At the sound of what he guessed to be a person heaving themselves over the ledge, his head shot up just in time to see a black figure flying down towards him.
He tried to jump out of the way of the attacker as best as he knew how but he couldn't beat gravity. The heel of the boot scraped across his skull. His attacker did a back-hand spring and landed on their feet behind D.J., after using him as a launch pad, blocking his possible exit to the street. He turned to face the person; it was small, whatever it was. He would've been surprised if it was over 5'5".
It was wearing a baggy shirt and a very nice slimming pair of dark blue, boot cut jeans. On the feet was a pair of real working boots, covered in mud. It's face was covered by a black ski mask, though the eyes were uncovered. He had to take a second look at them. It's eyes were a vibrant shade of violet that was absolutely mesmerizing.
D.J. forgot about the eyes long enough to find that his head was throbbing. He slowly reached his hand behind his head and found the gash. He already knew there was blood, he could smell it. "Ouch, That fricken hurt! What the hell was the for?!"
"You exist, you damn leech! What more do you have to do?" A female voice shot back, the french accent was thick as molasses. It was full of anger, disgust, and something that made no sense. Pain, and a lot of it, in her voice. How was she in pain! I’m the one she jumped on. I’m the one bleeding. He thought to himself. “If you vampires were 6 feet deep, like you belonged, you would never have gotten in my way.” The insult spat out icily as the girl went at him with a wide right hook that was dodged with ease.
She growled at him as he smirked. The girl in black paused as she missed and swung back her arm into his jaw. Not hesitating, she swung her right leg up and hit him square in the opposite side of the jaw with her calf. D.J. turned slightly to try and lessen the blow, and completely failed. She was expecting something like that so she jumped down on that foot and slammed her other knee into the underside of his chin.
His hand rubbed his now sore mouth as he staggered a bit. “Damn, you’ve got a really strong pair of legs there… and that’s something to look for in such a young female such as yourself.” He smiled quite sexily, a smile that would make any female and homosexual's heart melt, mostly forgetting that this was the same girl that had beat the s**t out of him but moments ago.
All she did was glare at him and… well, try and rip his throat out. As her clawed hand reached up to the span of his neck, his hand enclosed around hers, making it look extremely small. His jaw and hand tightened as he bent her wrist backwards, earning a tortured scream.
Pause... Comments? I'll update tomorrow. We're currently at the end of pg5. I bolded some of the changes I made. Looks pretty good to me though!
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:22 pm
I'm fairly certain that I fixed the changes. Thanks for catching my silly spelling mistakes. surprised Spell check doesn't like me anymore.
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Rogue Phoenix Fire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:40 pm
Totally awesome idea. After we are done a section, in a different thread, we should post the raw version. The way it was originally written in the notebook itself. That would be a riot!
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