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 Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:42 pm
Well, no ones posting anything, so I figured I would post this list of achievements for the coming Zombie Apocalypse. I have already printed this whole list out, and now its just a matter of time before I get to start marking them off.
Most of these came from 7chan. Enjoy.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:46 pm
Page 1 (Zed is short for Zombie)
Is it safe?- Perform a dental procedure on a living Zed.
"He Who Lives In A Glass House"- Lure a group of zombies into a house, then make the house collapse on them.
"It's Like A Condom, For Your Hands"- Wear and kill a zombie with gauntlets.
"I'll Take The High Road"- Run to the top of a steep hill and pour a slippery substance around the hill to prevent zombie pursuit.
"I Think You Got Him"- Pummel a zombies face until it becomes a gooey mess on the floor.
"Told Ya I Could Do It"- Steal the bra off an animated female zombie and show it to your fellow survivors.
"Four Shepherds We Shall Be"- Execute a zombie, Boondock Saints style.
"Chuck Would Be Proud"- Roundhouse Kick 50 zombies.
"This Seems Familiar..."- Carry around a chainsaw and a sawed off shotgun for three days.
"Sibling Rivalry"- Get the highest kill count out of your surviving brothers/sisters.
"Put The Fear In 'Em!"- Let out a battle-cry before charging a horde of zombies.
"Being A Zombie Is No Excuse!"- Keep a fat zombie on a treadmill for 10 minutes.
"Love On The Battlefield"- Get into a relationship with a fellow survivor.
"Screw This! I'm Going To Moe's."- Abandon your group of survivors to go get beer at an infected bar.
"I've Seen A Million Faces..."- Travel to the end of your country...
"And I've Rocked Them All!"- And killed at least 50 zombies in each town you visited.
"I AM THE ALPHA MALE!"- Show your fellow survivors who's boss by tearing apart a zombie using only your hands.
"How Is That Possible?"- Killed a zombie by bouncing a bullet off a solid surface and hitting it in the head.
"If They Can Do It, So Can I!"- Bite your fellow survivor, tell them if the zombies can do that, you have just as much right to do it too.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:57 pm
Page 2
"Chris Brown!"- Punch your fellow survivor in the face while saying Chris Brown.
"Dance, My Puppets, Dance!"- Walk into the middle of iced over lake and watch the zombies trip over themselves trying to get to you.
field research - LARP a game that includes zombies, use actual zombies
extra credit - play a video game that includes zombies and imitate the actions of your character in your next fight.
you know you want it - have sex in sight of a zombie that cant get to you
c**k block'd - get interrupted by a zombie attack
Lover Not A Fighter-copulate with more people than zombies you've killed (this kicks in after 10 kills and is locked if your kill to sex ratio exceeds 2:1)
Monkey Grip-Wield and kill at least 3 zombies/monsters/humans with an over 6ft long weapon that isn't a pole-arm/staff/spear
Legacy of Churchill-Obtain a Claymore and achieve over 40 kills with it
The Force Is With You-Hit and kill a target with a ranged projectile with your eyes closed
Idort-Obtain working versions of all console gaming systems (PC's are excluded as are emulators)
Patriot-Uphold your nations laws/ideals after the apocalypse kicks in yo
OPERATOR-acquire an FN Scar,an M141911, AR-15,H&K G-3,F-2000, or any weapon whose attachments are worth over $3000
Calender Keeper-Keep the date every single day for over 2 months by yourself
Human Timepiece-Without a clock keep accurate time within an hour for over a week by yourself
Putin-As a leader, eliminate all opposition without getting caught OR wrestle a bear naked and win
How's It Going Flat face-Kill an enemy with a Steam Iron
Gold-finger-Dip an enemy in molten gold
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:00 pm
Page 3
He Who Smelt It Dealt It-Immerse an enemy in molten metal (Can stack with Gold-Finger)
Phantom-Survive the entire outbreak without being noticed by anyone once, or sneak through a entire hostile city completly unnoticed
I Do Propane!- Use the entire contents of 5 propane canisters within 6 hours
WTF!BOOM!-Be almost killed by an explosion/Survive being bombed or mortered/see a nuke or ICBM go off in the distance
SuperChainsawMassacureMania5000-Within 5 minutes kill over 50 zombie/monsters/humans
Ginyu Force-Come up with a team dance/pose and use it atleast 5 times before a battle
Monopoly Man-Procure over one million dollars in cash during the apocalypse
Banker-Obtain over 500,000 dollars in cash during the apocalypse
The Great Bambino-Knock a zombie's head far enough with a bat to count as a home run on a professional field
Little League-Start up your own post-apocalypse baseball team
Joe's Vs Pro's-Encounter an entire surviving professional baseball team as your first game
Underdog-Win said game
No Big Deal-Said team is the Boston Red Sox
Crap-sack World-Find out the only surviving cities are Boston,Atlanta,Detroit,D.C, and Inglewood
Homestead-Establish or reclaim a small town
The Range-Raise cattle and poultry during the apocalypse
Dead Cow Disease-Have said livestock become infected (don't have to be undead)
Heavy Hoofed-Crush or trample over 10 enemies using ridden animals
Iron Hoof-Have a hoofed animal kick an enemy to death
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:03 pm
Page 4
Pump The Bass-Liquify someones organs with a sonic wave
Fender Bender-Crush a zombie with a amplifier
Theme song-Create and perform an original song before battle
Battle Hymn-Get over 30 people to sing in unison during battle
Power Chords-Use guitar strings to dismember enemies
Just A Few Licks-Cause someone to bleed with guitar strings
Hold Still A Second- Kill an enemy with a camera or tripod
Power Surge-Kill an enemy with electrical shock
Turn Off That Slave Music-Silence the gansta survivors by diverting the undead to their position...or kill them, your choice
Thor's Blessing-Through some act of God or just ungodly luck be saved by a lightning bolt killing one of your enemies (can stack with multiple achievements)
"Executioner" - Kill 5 Zombies within 10 seconds with a melee weapon.
"When in doubt..." - Kill at least 10 zombies with one explosive.
"Wile E. Coyote" - Kill a Zombie with an Anvil
"Zombie Rancher" - Put a leash on and remove a jaw from 5 zombies.
"Redneck Rocket Science" - Kill a Zombie using ONLY Duct Tape and WD-40.
"Noisemaker" - Replace a single teammate's ammunition clip with nothing but blanks.
"You Sonofa-" - Replace a single teammate's ammunition clip with empty casings.
"Bonk!" Kill 30 zombies with the baseball bat.
"Needle and Thread" - Perform surgery on a zombie.
"Twofer" - Kill 2 zombies with one bullet.
"When life gives you lemons..." - Stuff a piece of fruit in to a zombies mouth.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:06 pm
Page 5
"It's like I'm really Japanese!" - Decapitate a zombie in one swing with a Katana
"Never got a-head in life" - Kill a Zombie with the head of another zombie
"The Little Things" - Eat a twinkie after running completely out of ammo
Told you!- Kill a zombie with a .22 in one shot.
And they said I wouldn't have time- Masturbate more than twice in one day after the zombie apocalypse.
Empathy- Rescue another survivor
Apathy- Let another survivor die.
What do your elf eyes see?- Kill a zombie with an arrow
and my axe!- Kill a zombie with an axe.
Out, out brief candle!- Extinguish a burning zombie.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow- Kill at least a dozen zombies every day for three days.
I've covered wars, you know- Survive the first 72 hours.
Friends, Romans, countrymen.- Kill a survivor who has been corrupted by power.
I feel pretty!- Kill a zombie while you are wearing womens clothing.
No. 7, no tomatoes- Use a wendys as a safe house.
Cliche- Enter a mall.
Cliche, the return- Enter a graveyard.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle- Piss on a 'living' zombie.
Proof in The Bottle-Kill a zombie with a Molotov cocktail
Big Freakin Hero- Save over 10 survivors from a hopeless situation
Atlas Be Proud -Kill a zombie with a globe
To The Winchester-Hold up in a pub
Hotheaded-Kill 10 zombies using fire
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:08 pm
Page 6
Your Burning up- Kill over 20 zombies using fire
You're on Fire- Kill 30 zombies using fire
Pyromaniac-Kill 40 zombies using fire
Mrrmmph mmrrph mmrrph-Kill over 50 zombies using fire
Case of The Mondays- Being sieged on a Monday morning
Not Before I Had My Coffee-Kill a zombie with a coffee related applaince or product
Escapist-Spend a total of a week intoxicated within the first two months of the zombie apocalypse
Chugga Chugga Chugga-Use a train to slay a zombie
Resident Coincidence- Kill a zombie with a handgun in a mansion
Mans' Best Friend- Be saved by a dog
DEAD Spells Dead-Kill a zombie with a keyboard
It's Not The End of The World-Break up with someone during the zombie apocalypse
It Just Keeps Going and Going-kill a zombie using batteries
Home Alown'ed- Kill zombie with paint cans
McCalister Be Damned- Kill over 50 zombies using traps
I'm an Artiest- Splatter a zombie's brain on a white wall
V Tech Just Kicked in Yo-Kill over 32 zombies in an educational establishment
Monitor Massacre- Kill a zombie with a computer monitor
ADVENTURE!-Take to the open sea- Cross at least half a significant landmass
The Other Dead Meat- Encounter a Ghost during the zombie apocalypse
OH SH!T A GHOST!- Cover a zombie in a white bed sheet
Home Improvement- Collapse a house on a zombie
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:10 pm
Page 7
Work in Progress- Shoot a zombie in the head and fail to kill it
Wheelchair Dead-cessable- Push a zombie out of its wheelchair
Top Tier-Push over five zombies off the top of a building
Manifest Destiny-Cross your country over the course of the zombie apocalypse
I Don't Think So Tim- Kill a zombie while wearing flannel
What s**t Man Sends Babies to Fight Me!?- Kill a zombie baby
Bad Hair Day-Give yourself your first self haircut during the zombie apocalypse
Look Ma No Hands - Kick a zombie to death
Running of the Bulls - Kill at least 5 zombies with a cattle stampede
Face First - Headbutt a zombie
Little Dogie - Quote Reservoir Dogs and then kill a zombie
4th of July - Kill 10 zombies with fireworks
I Kick a** for the Lord! - Kill 5 zombies with a crucifix
I Kick a** for the Jews! - Crucify 5 zombies
Bully - Put a "Kick Me" sign on a zombie's back
Shoot the Moon - Kill a zombie with a yo-yo
Lawrence of Arabia - Lead/manipulate/trick zombies into attacking an enemy human
group
The Only Way to Be Sure - Use a nuclear bomb to kill a single zombie
"For the Empire!" Kill a zed using a flag.
"Checkmate" Kill a zed using a chessboard.
"Stuff of legends" Singlehandedly free an entire town or village, and leave for ever.
"You can call me 'emperor'" Become a ruler of a town or village, using a traffic cone as a crown
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:11 pm
Page 8
"You can't stop the rock" trap and kill a group of zombies using a giant stone sphere
"Pierce the heavens" Kill a zed using a drill
"Bang" Kill a group of zombies with your invisible gun
Step 1: End of the world - Fight your way to a safe house
Step 2: ??? - Argue with any other survivors about what to do next
Step 3: Profit - Survive the zombie apocalypse.
Perv - turn a porno store into a safe house
"Dont taze me bro!" - kill a zombie via tazer in the head
The code - forsake your baseball bat for a katana
Iron man - your armor is totally metal!
SHORYUKEN - kill a zombie by with this classic move
UNCEUNCEUNCEUNCE - turn a club into a safe house
Sanctuary - turn any sort of religious building into a safe house
History X - kill a zombie via curb stomp
Never gonna give you up - fall in love during a zombie apocalypse
5 minute man - die during the first 5 minutes of a zombie apocalypse
Zombies roasting on an open fire - throw a zombie into a bonfire
I saw three ships - Be rescued by the navy
Lumberjack - kill 20 zombies with a chainsaw
p***y - refuse to kill a zombie because it used to be your friend/family member/lover
Hard a** - kill a friend/family member/lover the second they are bitten
Bruce incarnate - kill 15 zombies with a nunchacku
Oh snap! - break at least 50 bones in a zombies body before you kill it
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:13 pm
Page 9
Weaboo - kill a zombie with any novelty sword from an anime/game
Olympian - turn any sporting goods store into a safe hose
Rocky Z - use a zombie as a punching bag
Friendly competition - compete with your friends to see how many zombies you can kill in an hour
Bored Scientist - Capture several zombies and systematically discover all of the different ways they can die
KTHNXBAI - Bail on an impossible situation when others are depending on you
BACK THE ******** UP!!! - narrowly avoid getting bitten by a zombie
Survival of the fittest - leave a retard/cripple to die
Son of Mr. Norris - you ARE the apocalypse!
Thank you Walter - turn a wal-mart into a city
Zombie Nazi - pretend you are a Nazi general and the zombies are Jewish and any survivors are your fellow SS
Black brick of death - kill a zombie with an old X-box
Kinky - tie up a zombie and sexually interrogate it
New World Order - Tell your newly built city how things are gonna be
Surf's up! - kill 50 zombies while urban surfing
SANDMASTAAAAAAAAHH - kill at least 4 zombies at once by dumping sand on them
MUNCHY, I CHOOSE YOU! - challenge a fellow Z trainer to a duel
My bad. - "accidentally" kill the last woman on earth
It's just a flesh wound - remove all four of a zombies limbs without killing it
Phail ftw- kill a zombie using a bucket
Get in mah belly- consume a cooked zombie for dinner
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:15 pm
Page 10
white box of UN-undeath-kill a zombie with an X-box 360
Oh s**t- Kill a zombie by collapsing an outhouse while they're in it
AN hero- kill yourself
AN stupid hero- kill yourself cause you lost your family
Break dancing- Break a zombie's skull while
dancing
Fitkick- get fit, use some kicks
It's not REALLY rape- rape a woman
Undead rape- rape a zombie
????- Argue over how to die
Profit- j**z when you've realized you are alive,
Winrar- Survive the apocalypse
The Samurai - Kill a Zombie with a katana
The warned you - have a cheap katana break while fighting a zombie
The Ninja - Kill a zombie using shuriken
NOT IN MY HOUSE!! - Kill a zombie in your house
He must be gay - Refuse sex from an attractive female survivor
Bar fight - Kill a zombie with a broken beer bottle
The Penguin - Kill a zombie with an umbrella
By His word - Kill a zombie with a Bible
This City Must be Cleansed! - Kill every zombie in a city/town while wearing a priest's robes
YOU CAN'T HAVE MY PURSE! - kill a zombie with a purse
The Badass - Ignite a zombie using a lit cigarette
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:16 pm
Page 11
Spot me - Kill a zombie with bench weights
7 Years of Bad Luck - throw a zombie into a mirror
It's a trap!- Kill a zombie with a trap while you're dressed as a girl.
Modus Operandi- Use a make shift weapon to kill a zombie
Just like the movies- Go an entire day without ever saying the word 'zombie'
So it was good for something after all- Kill a zombie with the zombie survival guide.
Mightier than the sword- Kill a zombie with a pen.
Zombie guru - kill at least 2 zombies of every race, nationality, and heritage
OSHI-! - kill 10 fast zombies
Hey hey hey! - Kill 10 fat zombies
Ninja assassin - kill 15 zombies that haven't detected you
Ninja assassin (hard mode) - Kill 15 zombies that haven't detected you with a melee weapon
Ninja assassin (Nightmare mode) - Kill 15 zombies that haven't detected you with your bare hands
Bum rush - Kill 10 zombies using only your fists
Trained killer - kill 5 zombies with a normally harmless object... like a potato
Flesh cannon - kill 5 zombies by throwing a baseball at them
Father of a species - do your part to repopulate the Earth 50 times
Respect your elders - kills 10 zombies that used to be someones grandfather
Mother dearest - Kill 10 zombies that used to be yours or someones mother
Child abuse - kill 10 child zombies
9:00 - 5:00 - kill 5 zombies that used to be a fellow worker
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:17 pm
Page 12
Corporate slave - kill 5 zombies in a business suit
Sucker! - kill 20 zombies by luring them into traps
HIGH SCORE!!! - kill 1,000 zombies
SUPER HIGH SCORE!!! - kill 5,000 zombies
SUPER MEGA HIGH SCORE!!! - kill 15,000 zombies
BRUTAL SUPER MEGA HIGH SCORE!!! - kill 50,000 zombies
ULTRA BRUTAL SUPER MEGA AWESOME KICK a** HIGH SCORE!!! - kill 500,000 zombies
ULTRA BRUTAL SUPER MEGA AWESOME KICK a** HIGH SCORE!!! (hard mode) - do it one shot!
"THIS USED TO BE A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD!" - Eliminate every zombie in your hometown
Disco isn’t dead- kill a zombie while dancing to music
Beat down- kill 10 zombies while dancing to music
The Hero Guy- rescue a survivor while wearing a superhero costume
One badass otaku- kill at least 50 zombies while dressed as an anime/manga character
Having a ball- kill 15 zombies with a ball-weapon
Blitzballer- kill 30 zeds with a ball-weapon
Noobsauce- mash a zombie to a consistency of skittles
With my mind!- watch a zed die from something random while you are staring at it
Road closed- block a road completely
Cannibal- eat another human survivor
Gather your mind- meditate during the apocalypse
Zen master- Meditate for a total of ten hours during the apocalypse
My internets!- access the internet after the apocalypse begins
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:19 pm
Page 13
To the Tardis- Take refuge in (or on top of) a telephone booth
Motherf@ckin’ pimp- acquire at least three love interests at the same time
Knee of justice- hit a zombie with a jumping knee attack
Asphalt gunslinger- shoot 20 zombies while skateboarding
Hammertime- kill a zombie with one swing of a hammer
Harvester- kill a zombie with a scythe
Holiday cheer- kill a zombified mall Santa
Corner pocket- Kill a zombie with a pool cue or pool balls
The Internet’s over, go home- acknowledge the death of the internet
Falcon PUNCH- yell out falcon punch when you hit a zombie
Musician- kill a zombie with a musical instrument
Anchors aweigh- take a boat out on water
The pirate bay- secure an island as a base
Cuisine vet- eat a rat, cat, or dog
F@ck yes!- find someone immune to the virus
F@ck yes (God tier)- find someone of the opposite gender who is immune to the virus and ******** them
"metal head" - get a metallic weapon stuck in a zombie's skull
"road rage" - kill 50 zombies with an automobile
"enter sandman" - kill at least one zombie with a sandblaster
"Like a Stone" - Drop a zombie in water with concrete shoes
"Davidian" - Kill 50 zombies with a shotgun
"Light my Way" - Light 25 zombies on fire
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:20 pm
Page 14
"The Weight of the World" - Drop a weight of at least one
thousand kilograms on a small group of zombies
"unholy Confessions" - Kill a zombified priest
"Hand of Doom" - Kill a zombie with one hand
"Hit the Lights" - Kill 10 zombies with a torch/flashlight
"Deadnight Warrior" - Perform a raid during the dead of the night
"infected" - Witness a successful zombie attack
"Indestructible" - Fight off a group of zombies larger than 20 single
handedly
"The After Dinner Payback" - Kill a zombie that has just feasted
on a close friend/member of your family
"Number of the Beast" - Paint 666 on at least 6 zombies
"Love you to Death" - Kill a zombie you once loved
"Laid to Rest" - create a mass grave for more than 2000 zombies
"Bombtrack" - Fill a train with explosives and send it into a horde
of the undead
"Eyeless" - Destroy a zombies eyes
"Pull Harder" - Harness zombies to your car to save on fuel
"Suffocating Sight" - Witness the destruction of an entire city
"Starstruck" - Encounter a zombified celebrity.
"Struck a Star" - Kill a zombified celebrity.
"Still a Star" - Keep a zombified celebrity to show them off to others.
"Can't sleep, clowns will eat me" - Encounter a zombified clown.
"@sshole" - Willingly infect someone else.
"I will name him Stinky and he will be my friend" - Keep a zombie as a pet.
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